Six months after the divorce was final and the animosity between Addison and Derek cleared they had been able to become friends. It had taken Addison a while to even let him buy her a coffee; she had refused in such a snarky manner, Derek didn't exactly blame her considering what he had put her through even if he wouldn't admit to himself what an ass he had been. Although Addison noticed Derek's persistence and when she finally questioned him about his motives he simply stated that he just wanted to be friends. She gave him points for that and decided that she could use a friend, a male influence, Mark wasn't so successful in that department, his constant innuendos made it hard for her to take him seriously.
Now six months down the track, their friendship was re-established and she was standing in her walk in wardrobe trying on outfits. Why? Because Derek was taking her to work today, her car had broken down and she didn't want to ask Miranda, or Mark so she figured Derek was her best option. He of course obliged and even suggested they get coffee before they head into the hospital. She had no idea why it was she was so fussed about what she was wearing, normally she would grab an elegant pair of heels, a skirt to flatter her legs and a nice top to go with it, but now she was worrying because Derek was picking her up for work. Anyone would think they were going on a date.
Derek pulled up to Addison's house in his range rover and knocked on the door; she called from upstairs and told him he could come in. Walking into the waterfront penthouse he lingered in the foyer feeling slightly awkward. He and Addison had been hanging out quite a bit in the recent months, she had been to the trailer for cook outs but she hadn't been to her house since she moved out. He didn't even know she had stopped living at the hotel until she gave him her address so that he could pick her up. It was definitely in Addison's style, she wouldn't settle for anything less for the best, letting his thumb glide over the marble counter top in the kitchen he was quickly taken away from his surroundings when he heard Addison's voice.
"Sorry I took so long I just couldn't find anything to wear" She said finally having found something she liked.
"I find that hard to believe Addison, you could stock half the boutiques in New York and you know it. So don't tell me you don't have anything to wear" Derek quipped before noticing how truly beautiful she looked that morning. Her dark red hair was down along her shoulders, waves flowing throughout it, she wore the all familiar skirt with the thigh high slit that revealed enough but not too much. Her Prada pumps made the outfit and while Derek would never admit to her that he knew the brands of Addison's favourite footwear, because that would be admitting he paid attention on those numerous occasions she took him shopping with her.
"You're a jerk sometimes you know that" Addison said pouting, quickly brushing past him to the front door, her coat in hand.
"I know but you still love me" A conceited grin spreading across his face as he followed her out to his car.
"Last time I checked we were divorce, so really I don't love you" Addison said while now matching his grin with her own cocky version.
"You know you do; I mean how can you not love me? I'm taking you to work and buying you coffee" With a slight chuckle he hopped into the car and waited for Addison to get in.
"Those things, like buying me coffee and taking me to work is what constitutes a good friendship, really you're only doing what you have to be doing in order to keep me as a friend" Buckling her seat belt she offered Derek a smirk not before she laughed at his disappointed expression. He had lost that round and he knew it.
As they were driving Addison had been watching the surroundings go idly by but then on the radio she heard what had to be one of her favourite songs of all time. Addison hated to admit that in the seventies she was what some would call a disco queen, and had been fortunate enough to have gone to an ABBA concert. Turning the volume up she began to bop along to the tunes of Mama Mia, Derek quickly glanced over from the steering wheel and just began to shake his head.
"No, no, no you are not listening to this in my car" Derek went to change the radio station but she slapped Derek's hand away.
"Oh yes Derek, this song is a classic, and it's good, you know you love it" Addison said turning the volume up even louder.
"I do not in any way shape or form love ABBA please they are terrible, an abomination to the name of music"
"Take that back!" Addison said playfully hitting him on the arm as the singing began in the song.
As the chorus came in Addison began to sing. "Mamma mia, here I go again My my, how can I resist you? Mamma mia, does it show again? My my, just how much I've missed you Yes, I've been broken hearted Blue since the day we parted Why, why did I ever let you go? Mamma mia, now I really know, My my, I could never let you go."
"You have got to be kidding me, you can't seriously like this stuff?" Derek said as though the music was making his ears bleed.
"Oh you better believe it, these songs are made for the dance floor" Addison said whilst belting out another few lines as the song continued. She was about to sing to the chorus again when she looked out the window and realised something was off.
"Derek where are we going?"
"To the hospital" Derek said not revealing anything.
"Derek this is not the way to the hospital, and I know the way to the hospital from my own home" Addison said now looking at Derek.
"Addie this is just a different way, a quicker way" Derek of course was not taking her to the hospital, he had planned a surprise for the two of them but at the rate they were going he'd have to spoil it in order for Addison to stop interrogating him.
"What are you saying Derek? That I don't take the quick way?" Addison quickly retorted, becoming defensive almost immediately.
"No that's not what I meant"
"Basically you think males are better driver's than females" This argument was getting out of hand at an unbelievably rate.
"Addison please I didn't say that, I merely said I was taking a different way to work" Derek was scared, because when Addison got like this it was sure to end badly for him.
"Don't think I don't understand what you're saying Derek, because all I'm hearing is that my way isn't good enough because I'm a woman, and women can not in any way be a better driver than a man" Addison was now glaring menacingly at Derek.
"For gods sake Addison I never said males were better drivers than females" Derek was beginning to get frustrated.
"But you just did! So you do think males are better drivers than females?"
"No I don't Addison! There is nothing wrong with female driving, you're a fine driver, and I just wanted to take a different way to work"
"What was wrong with my way to work?" It was clear that Addison wasn't going to drop this.
"Can we please just drop it?" Derek said looking at Addison quickly before he focused on the road.
"Derek I want to drive, you're clearly lost and at this rate we'll be late for work" Addison said extremely serious about what she had just proposed.
"Addison you are not driving, we will get to work on time" Derek was shocked by Addison's demand.
"Derek I'm serious, pull over the car and give me the keys"
"Addison don't be ridiculous, you are not driving"
"So I'm being ridiculous now? Derek pull over the car"
Derek couldn't catch a break; everything he said just dug his hole deeper, he was going to remain silent until they got to their destination. That is what he thought would be the best plan of action at this point in time.
"Derek why won't you say anything?" Addison was still unamused by what Derek was implying, she had never imagined him to be sexist but now that he was refusing to let her drive he was sure he thought males were better drivers than females.
"I'm staying quiet until we get to work because everything I say just makes you angrier" Derek said, his final words until they reached there destination that was anywhere but the hospital.
Addison tried bating Derek a little more but he was adamant on saying nothing, soon he pulled into a vacant area, which was definitely not the hospital. There was a large oak tree that shadowed a perfect patch of grass that overlooked the bay, you could see the harbour and most of the city from this view and while Addison was still confused she enjoyed the view. "Derek what are we doing here?" She was no longer angry but now curious more than ever.
"Just wait Addie, be patient" He showed her one of his charming smiles and went around to the back of the range rover, opening the back up he removed a picnic blanket and a hamper of what she could only guess was full of food. He nodded her in the direction of the ground beneath the tree; he laid down the blanket and took a seat on top of it. "It's alright Addie I won't bite" She slowly walked over to the blanket and took a seat besides Derek, unsure of what to expect.
"Derek do you want to tell me what's going on?"
Derek removed wrapped food packages from the basket and handed one to Addison. "I do but in the meantime just eat your breakfast, I bought it from your favourite Deli" Even after they had been divorced he still remembered all the little things that made Addison happy, like when she first came to Seattle, after he hadn't signed the papers she had demanded they go to the Deli a few blocks from the hospital every chance they could. While at that time he was doing an extremely good job of making Addison miserable he still knew that she loved that Deli.
Opening his own roll he took a bite and watched as Addison ate hers, he could see the gears churning in Addison's brain, he knew her too well, she was trying to cross analysis the situation, suss out Derek's motives. She'd find out in due time though. Derek had quickly realised during the stages he was trying to form a friendship with Addison that he was in fact still in love with her. He needed to play the game smart though; he couldn't just jump back in professing his love for her because needless to say they would just dance around each other constantly trying to reassure themselves that they could trust one another.
They had rebuilt their friendship from the ground up and it was pretty solid, and he had decided that now was the time to tell Addison that he wanted to start over, that he would be with her 100 per cent nothing less. He had dealt with Meredith, it took him some time to realise what he wanted to say to her but he told her in the most tactful way that he thought he loved Meredith but he was just lying to himself, not admitting that she was an escape from reality. He had been running from the affair for too long, and he had really forgiven Addison for the affair, he wasn't ready to forgive Mark but then again he didn't have to. He wanted to start fresh; it was a time for new beginnings.
"Derek, you ready to tell me yet?" Addison said quietly, picking at the roll he had bought her from the Deli, she was nervous to say the least. She was under the impression that he would just drive her to work and they would remain friends but now they were sitting in a beautiful location eating breakfast with one another, it reminded her of the times he would tear her away from the books while they were in college to have lunch in Central Park.
"Addison, I hurt you I know that, but these past months have been great, it's been just like it used to. We'd hang out, talk, it's been good and well I don't want to lose that" Derek was still being cryptic, but Addison could see in his eyes that he was nervous.
Addison was beginning to get nervous herself; it was beginning to sound as though Derek wanted to rekindle their romance, their failed marriage. And it was scaring her, not because she didn't want to be with Derek again but because she did, but how could she let him back in without being hurt again? She had no idea, and she had opened herself up to Derek to some extent in order for them to be friends, they had a strong bond and he never pushed her too far or pressured her but now he was reopening Pandora's Box and she wasn't sure if she was ready to unleash those kinds of emotions yet.
She had never stopped loving Derek, even when he cheated she hated herself for still loving him, she hated herself for still melting when he showed her that charming smile. She just couldn't help but love that man and it seemed as though he still felt that way as well, but she couldn't be sure. Derek was looking down at the picnic mat, trying to form the next part of his little speech that he had run over in his head almost a hundred times, but just seeing Addison's beautiful eyes made his mind blank.
"The funny thing is I've been going over this speech in my head for a long time but when I'm here with you I just can't remember what I wanted to say, so forgive me if this sounds shambled. You're my family, you are a Shepherd, take the Shepherd off your name and you'd still be a Shepherd, marry another guy and you'd still be a Shepherd, my family adores you, you are one of us. I adore you, you're the love of my life Addie and as much as I told you I was in love with Meredith it just wasn't true, I was lying to you and myself. I just didn't realise it, and through doing this I hurt you in the worst way possible. I told you that I was with you but my heart was somewhere else trying to repair itself, when I should have been trying to repair it with you, we could have helped each other but I was selfish, and couldn't look past that night. I'm not here to make you repent your sins because you've apologised over and over for that, and I've forgiven you I really have. You have no obligation to believe me or to even trust a word I'm saying but please Addie believe when I say I still love you" Derek was now looking at her directly, his blue eyes piercing her green ones.
The tears were threatening to fall and everything he said was just so perfect, she was putting her guard up and she was ready to fight but deep down she didn't want to fight, she just wanted to let Derek back in, let him hold her the way he used to, but how could she trust him? These were all things running through her mind, all things she didn't have the answer to yet. "How can I Derek? How do I just let you back in and trust that you won't hurt me again? How do I know you won't still go around behind my back with Meredith? How Derek?" Her voice was shaky and all Derek wanted to do was to grab her in a tight embrace and reassure her that everything was alright.
"I had to expect you'd ask me all these questions and I've been doing my best to come up with an answer to each of them, I've cut all ties with Meredith's, we're nothing more than colleagues that have to work with each other on occasion, I told her that I was lying to her and myself and that I had never stopped loving you, she didn't understand even if I hoped she would, but she has come to terms with it over the past months. I know you can't believe that I won't hurt you again but we've been friends, and we trust each other, we can take it slow Addison, I can prove to you that I am committed to making us work, because it's what I really want"
A tear slowly rolled down Addison's cheek and Derek leaned forward, brushing the tear away with his thumb before offering her a weak smile. This was all too perfect and she wanted so much to just let him back in but her guard was up and there were just so many things she still questioned about him. Being friends was one thing but jumping back into a relationship with the man that hurt you over and over again for months was something completely different. Hell it took her a month or two to for her to even let Derek buy her coffee, but if he was prepared to take it slow she may be willing to make some kind of arrangement. "Derek, I do love you but there's just so many things wrong with this, I mean how do we just go back into being a couple after everything that happened?"
"That part I have already worked out, we don't just go back to being a couple, we start fresh, two friends who want a little more than friendship, we date, I take you to the movies and to dinner, we take is slow. All I want is you Addie, all I've ever wanted is you" He ran his fingers along the side of her face and pulled her closer to him, her head rested against his shoulder and he could hear her still crying.
"Derek, this is what I want, I want to be with you, my instinct says yes lets do it but my brain is telling me otherwise" She had pulled herself away from his shoulder and was now looking into his eyes. She could see the honesty in his eyes; he was being genuine, no ulterior motives.
"Addison you're instincts have always steered you in the right direction, with a couple of exceptions, you're brain will catch up in no time, because like I've said I'm not here to hurt you" Derek was holding her face as he spoke, looking into her eyes, he could see all the confusion in her eyes but he could also see that she still loved him.
"Promise?" She said like a child.
"I promise. Now would it be too much to ask of you for a kiss?" Derek said now sporting a playful grin.
Addison nodded and he slowly moved in, capturing her lips with his, the kiss was nothing more than a mere reassurance of all the words he had just said, it was like the signature on his contract. He wasn't going to mess up this chance, not this time around.
"For the record, males are better drivers than females" Derek quickly added before kissing Addison again in order to stop her from retorting.