A/N This is definitely 100% show not book based and its an AU at that. Please don't flame me! This is my first Game of Thrones fic and its been awhile since I wrote at all. If you're one of my Leverage fic readers, don't worry, I'll be updating those stories soon too! (welcome back Muse!) I hope you enjoy and please review :)

Chapter One

Truth be told, Deirdre reveled in the fact that they were away from King's Landing. She had once thought coming to the capital would be exciting but it proved to be just like life in Casterly Rock, except now there were more people of noble houses to treat her with disregard or flat out hostility, behind the veil of good manners. So when King Robert decided to travel to Winterfell, Deirdre asked to accompany them as she had frequently wished she could travel to the other realms.

A Lannister by birth, Deirdre always felt like she belonged to a different house due to the way she was treated by her family, except Tyrion. If it weren't for Tywin's deep affection for his cousin's widow, her mother of House Brax, she was quite sure Cersei would have murdered her upon her arrival in King's Landing or at least have sent her away. The Queen looked at her like she was the bastard child of a low born. Jamie was kind enough to her. Well, as kind as Jamie was capable of being. Deirdre grew very fond of Tyrion in her time in the capital though. He treated her like a lady in front of others but would frequently forget himself when they were alone and tell her stories unfit for a high born lady to hear. But they also talked of the books he had read and the history of the Westeros. Tyrion and she shared the outcast feeling, since his father treated him so badly and her mother wished she had not existed.

Recently widowed by her much older husband, Deirdre had been sent to court to hopefully find a suitable match for her. She was still young, only a few years older than the prince, her marriage not lasting a full year before her husband fell ill and succumbed to a fever. Deirdre hadn't wanted to marry her husband. He was a vile man but it was a political move on Tywin's part. Her skin crawled when he touched her, which he did too often for her liking. He had bedded her like a whore, filth and profanities pouring from his lips and she learned to pretend she was elsewhere until he was finished. Her mother's dislike for her had shown in allowing that marriage.

Cersei seemed more short-tempered than normal on the journey so Deirdre tried to stay on her good side by helping out with Princess Myrcella and Prince Tommen. Their arrival in Winterfell was a relief as she could finally escape such close quarters with the queen.

The Starks greeted them in the courtyard as a light snow began to fall. Deirdre noted Winterfell's sturdy structure was older than anything she'd ever seen, literally thousands of years old. Despite the cold the trees still had their leaves and even some flowers bloomed. Everyone in Winterfell gathered to receive them, bowing low when King Robert rode in. Deirdre watched the king greet Lord Stark not as one of his lords but as his oldest friend. While they talked, she observed the Stark family with interest. Lady Catelyn Stark smiled at her children with affection as the king went down the line. Deirdre couldn't help noticing the Stark's handsome oldest son. Though, unlike her cousin Joffrey, she didn't openly stare at them as he was doing to the oldest daughter.

Deirdre accepted a hand from one of the Kingsguard and dismounted, walking up as Cersei introduced her children to Lady Stark. Princess Myrcella smiled up at her, saying, "And this is one of my cousins, Lady Deirdre of Casterly Rock." Cersei and her maids rushed to usher the children in the hall, where it was warmer.

"Lady Stark, thank you for your hospitality," Deirdre bowed her head. "The North is beautiful country. I've never seen snow falling so early in the year."

Chuckling, Lady Stark nodded. "Snow falls year round here, even in the summer. But at least the sun is shining." She gestured to her oldest children and their ward from the Iron Island. "Robb, Theon, Sansa, this is Lady Deirdre of House Lannister." Robb and Theon appeared to be the same age as her and while Robb behaved honorably, Theon openly stared at her to the point it made her blush. What made it even more uncomfortable was the fact that Deirdre's father died during the Theon's father's rebellion. She did not blame Theon, of course, but it was difficult to not feel strange towards him. Thankfully, Robb noticed and quickly introduced her to his younger siblings, Arya, Bran, and Rickon, as a distraction.

"Sansa, why don't show Deirdre to her chambers?" their mother requested, before rushing off to attend to the queen after the king and Lord Stark disappeared into the crypts.

"Where's the Imp?" Arya blurted out when her mother left. Sansa promptly shot her sister a look of annoyance, causing Deirdre to laugh.

"My cousin, Tyrion, is…" Deirdre knew Tyrion visited the brothel outside of Winterfell but knew it would be unladylike to be honest. "He'll be along shortly I'm sure." She bent down to speak softly to Arya. "I wouldn't call him the Imp to his face though. He's a little sensitive about that." The girl smirked when Deirdre winked at her. Suddenly realizing that Theon and Robb were still standing there waiting, along with another man their age, Deirdre turned to find Sansa making funny faces at Robb.

"Lady Deirdre, this is our brother, Jon. Jon Snow," Robb said with a nod to Jon. Half-brother, she remembered, Ned Stark had a bastard son named Jon.

He was taller than her but not as tall as Robb and a more solid build. His curly hair was dark but it was his gray eyes that captivated her: such pain and gentleness in them despite his shy smile. "It's an honor," he said with a bowed head.

"My lord," Deirdre smiled. "You're all such gracious hosts. And Winterfell is so beautiful. It's nice to be away from the capital and the court."

"I'd love to live in the capital," Sansa said, dreamily.

"It seems more fun than it is. I grew up in Casterly Rock and it's very different. So many people in King's Landing and it seems like everything is too close together, sometimes it feels hard to breathe."

"Winterfell is glad to welcome you," Robb said. After a moment he pulled on Theon's arm, saying, "We'll see you at dinner, my lady." Arya and Jon followed them and Sansa led her inside. Deirdre couldn't help glancing back at Jon and was pleased when she caught him watching her as well.

"I love your hair," the younger girl blurted out after a few moments of quiet. "And your dress."

Deirdre smiled, glancing down at her deep red velvet gown with gold trim, and said, "It's styled like it is in the South. As I said, Kings Landing is very different from here…I mean, the clothes and the hair styles. They're different from Casterly Rock as well. I wish I was blessed with hair such a unique color as you and Lady Stark."

Sansa blushed prettily, pulling on a lock of hair. Deirdre isn't versed much in hairstyles or clothing for that matter. She wore what she was given to wear by others who knew such things and handmaids did her hair in fancy designs. When she came to Kings Landing, the queen sent a tailor to make her wardrobe fitting of the capitol saying she looked like a lesser house and was an embarrassment to the name Lannister. Cersei made certain that her wardrobe showed off the extent of their riches, not willing to have a relative in her care be mistaken for a commoner or of a lower house.

Apparently Deirdre had no sense when it came to fashion or what makes a woman more attractive. Anything that required someone to help her put on seemed a ridiculous waste of time. But when she told her mother her opinion, it had earned her a slap so she kept her opinion to herself about fashion after that. She knew she was pretty by the way men stared at her but frankly she didn't really care about most things ladylike.

Realizing that Sansa was still talking about clothing and hair, she forced herself to pay attention and nod with interest as the girl led her to her room in the guest quarters.

x0x0x

Dinner was a rowdy affair as was typical when King Robert was present. He was his normal self and had serving wenches on either side much to Lady Stark's clear discomfort. Deirdre had been seated beside Robb Stark, who continued to pour her more wine than she she knew she should drink, while telling her stories.

"We found the dead direwolf returning to Winterfell. It had been killed by the antlers of its prey apparently. But it was a huge creature, I've never seen anything like it, bigger than even our horses," Robb told her, explaining his wolf pup.

"That's not possible," Deridre laughed. "Wolves aren't that big, even in the north."

"It was a direwolf, my lady, not just any wolf." Theon interjected, from the other side of Robb where he gazed at her while nursing more cups of wine than even she had. She had tried to ignore his eyes on her all night as if she stood naked before him. He also gave her creepy smiles that she was sure he thought made himself irresistible.

"Direwolves aren't found south of the wall so, as you can imagine, it was a surprise. Then we found the pups. There were six of them, one for each of us. Grey Wolf is smart, already half trained and he's the biggest of them all. Perhaps tomorrow you can see him." Robb smiled warmly at her and she nodded.

At one point in the night, the queen motioned Deirdre to her table. "Excuse me, my lord," Deirdre said to Robb with a smile. He returned her smile and she struck by how handsome he was: perhaps not as handsome as Jon Snow, but very handsome indeed. The wine had gone to her head and her cheeks flushed at her thoughts. Turning, she made her way to the Queen's table quickly and bowed her head to her cousin. "Yes, my Queen?"

"Find my brother," Cersei demanded and when Deirdre asked which one, she snapped, "Jamie, of course."

Quickly scanning the busy hall, Deirdre saw that Jamie was not amongst the Kingsguard there. Unlike Kings Landing, the atmosphere in Winterfell was relaxed and the Kingsguard wasn't as cautious as normal, which explained Jamie's absence.

Assuming he went after Tyrion, Deirdre walked towards the doors leading outside. The cold wind hit her flushed cheeks and she realized how warm the hall was. She took a deep breath, enjoying the clean and crisp fresh air. Kings Landing's air was a mix of the sea and too many people. Hearing men talking she walked in that direction and found her cousin talking to Jon Snow, who stood at the practice dummy, lowered sword in hand. Judging from the look on Jon's face, Jamie was being his normal charming self.

"Cousin," she called out as she continued to walk to the two men. When Jamie turned to her, she explained, "The Queen requests your presence in the great hall."

"Such demanding women, Lannisters are," Jamie teased and squeezed her shoulder as he strode past her.

Jon said nothing and, after a moment, looked away nervously. She could tell Jamie had upset him and felt the overwhelming urge to comfort him. Something in his eyes called out to her and she found herself stepping close to him, the wine making her more bold than normal. "Forgive my cousin's manners. He is rather…cold and cruel at times." When Jon's eyes met hers she smiled. "He thinks anyone who isn't a Lannister is beneath him."

"I'm used to it. I've always been considered beneath everyone." Jon shrugged.

"I do not think what family you come from or the manner of your parentage is determines who you are. Great men have brought fools into the world or had fools for parents. It's not determined by where you come from but by your actions."

Jon shrugged again and, after a moment, said, "I wish others thought as you do, my lady."

"Please, call me Deirdre," she said softly placing her fingers on his hand and causing a chill to run through her which made her shiver slightly. Coming straight from the great hall to outside, she hadn't grabbed a cloak or a fur.

"Are you cold?" Jon asked, hastily removing his cloak and when she nodded, he placed it around her shoulders. She watched him as he fastened it. His movements brought them very close together and she felt an overwhelming desire to touch him. She briefly wondered if his lips would be cold on hers. That thought led to wondering if he tasted like snow falling softly around them. Her thoughts caused her to blush deeply.

"Thank you. I hope you won't be too cold. But I think you're more used to this weather than I am. And I've had far too much wine, thanks to your brother." She glanced around before asking, "Perhaps we could go for a walk. The hall is so loud and I'm enjoying the peace and quiet out here. It will probably clear some of my wine-muddled thoughts."

"Won't you be missed inside?"

"Doubtful," she shook her head and out of the corner of her eye saw a flash of white fur.

"Ghost," Jon said sharply, startling her as something brushed against her. "He won't hurt you. He's just protective."

Deirdre held out her hand for the direwolf pup to smell and, after a moment, gently pet his head. Smiling, she ran her hand over his thick fur. "He's beautiful."

"So are you," Jon said, clearly without thinking, because he looked surprised that he said it aloud, then blushed furiously and looked away. They stood silently for a few minutes, Deirdre petting Ghost and Jon probably trying to think of something to say to lessen his embarrassment. He cleared his throat and said, "I'm not sure if it's proper for us to walk alone…at night…"

"I don't see any harm in it. Ghost will protect us," Deirdre said with a laugh. "Besides, I don't want to go back inside yet, and I would love to see the Godswood."

Jon sheathed his sword and nodded. "I supposed Ghost could be considered a proper chaperone. And if you're sure you won't be missed…"

"I'm sure. Besides, you're Lord Stark's son. No one would doubt your honor."

Jon laughed out loud at that. "Your view of the world is optimistic."

They walked with Ghost trailing them and she finally asked, "Why weren't you at dinner?"

"Lady Stark feared it would offend the King and Queen if the bastard son joined them."

"That's ridiculous," she blurted out. "If someone like Theon Greyjoy can sit at the table, I don't see how your presence could be offensive." Jon just looked at her for a long time then shook his head. "I did not mean to be rude, my lord," she added quickly.

"You weren't and, if you wish me to call you Deirdre, you must call me Jon."

"Jon," she said with a smile.

He took her to the Godswood and Deirdre walked toward the heart-tree. Her fingers traced the outline of the face carved in the wood of the weirwood tree.

"Do you know the history of the Old Gods?" Jon asked.

Deirdre shook her head. "Only some. My tutoring didn't include much of the other faiths and lands. I learned some, on the journey here, from my cousin Tyrion. He explained to me what the faces in the trees were."

"The Old Gods were worshipped by the Children of the Forest before the First Men arrived. They were here long before the Faith of the Seven. The heart trees allow the Old Gods to see their worshipers." A light breeze was blowing and he pointed to the leaves above. "And the wind is the Gods speaking back."

"And what do they say?" she asked, fascinated.

"It depends on the person," he replied. "Each follower would hear a different thing."

Deirdre didn't ask what he heard, fearing offending him. When he knelt before the heart tree, she walked toward the pool of water nearby. The moonlight reflected on the water and gave the area of the grove nearest the heart tree, a warm glow. Deirdre stood watching Jon though lowered lashes, not wishing to intrude on his prayers. When he turned to her, she found his gaze so intense, she couldn't look away. She'd never felt this feeling and was unsure if it was real or just the wine. Her heart sped up when he walked to her, his gaze never faltering. Without thinking, Deirdre reached out and touched his lips with her fingertips when he was close enough and smiled at their warmth. She then moved her hand to his cheek. His skin felt warm under her fingertips.

Jon placed his hand on her waist, drawing her close to him. After a moment he lowered his eyes and started to step away. "Forgive me. I shouldn't have…"

Deirdre raised her other hand to his shoulder, keeping him close to her. "You have done nothing to forgive," she whispered, a smile teasing the corners of her mouth. "Unless you don't wish me to touch you, then it is I who should apologize."

They gazed into each other's eyes for a long time in silence. Deirdre took a shaky breath and whispered with blunt honesty, "I suddenly feel like I've walked into a dream. I do not understand these feelings and desires for a man who is practically a stranger."

"I've often prayed to the Gods to find someone who understood me, who saw me for who I was not who my name said I was."

"I see you as a beautiful man with eyes that show your true nature: caring, brave, and honorable. You'll always be better than what anyone thinks you are, Jon. You are bound for greatness."

"You see all of that in my eyes?" Jon leaned his face into her palm, returning his hand to her waist.

Her heart racing, Deirdre leaned forward as he bent down to kiss her. At first he was tentative, unsure, but when her hands moved around his neck and her mouth opened to his, his kiss grew more passionate. Despite the cold, Deirdre felt warmth spread throughout her as Jon gathered her in his arms. His tongue slid into her mouth, searching for hers and he moaned when she rubbed her tongue against his. He tasted like winter but his mouth was scorching hot.

It felt like the world melted away and it was just the two of them. Deirdre didn't care if it was proper, nor did she care if she appeared brazen or unladylike. She felt alive for the first time in a long time. And this was the first time she had ever felt passion in her life. Her fingers buried in his dark curls as he kissed her until she couldn't breathe. When the kiss ended, the only sound was them breathing deeply. A moment passed and Deirdre smiled, kissing him lightly before saying, "So you're not opposed to me touching you, I assume."

Chuckling, Jon trailed his hands up and down her back. "I feel…wicked. If we were seen…well, I don't think either my family or yours would approve of this."

"Then it is a good thing they are not here." Deirdre kissed him again, unwilling to let the spell be broken. Jon's lips were eager against hers and he buried his hands in her hair, crushing her against his hard muscular chest. Her thoughts whirled and made no sense, causing her to feel dizzy. She leaned into Jon, allowing him to steady her. His lips moved down her neck and she moaned, tugging his hair.

Ghost growled, startling her and Jon turned away, following the wolf's gaze. It wasn't until then that Deirdre heard men's voices and loud laughter a short distance away. They couldn't see the men so it was unlikely they had been seen but Jon pulled her into the shadows anyway.

"We should return before we're caught," he whispered, still holding her close to him.

Deirdre nodded and mentally cursed the men intruding on them. "Meet me here later tonight," she whispered and kissed him again. Jon's tongue massaged hers as they kissed urgently.

Breaking away, Jon shook his head. "It'd be too difficult for you to leave your room without being seen. Servants frequently walk the guest halls in case anyone needs them." He was quiet a moment before saying, "Tomorrow there's a hunt."

"Aren't you going?"

"No. But all the other men are. We could go riding, if you wish."

"I wish it," she smiled pulling him close for a quick kiss. "I suppose I should return. It sounds like people are starting to leave the great hall." But she couldn't pull herself away from him though and Jon kissed her again. The men's voices sounded closer so Jon broke the kiss reluctantly. Deirdre quickly smoothed her hair back into place before they stepped out of the shadows, walking some distance apart. Jon kept glancing at her, making her flush hot again.

"You need to stop looking at me like that if you do not want anyone to know what we were just doing," she said under her breath then giggled.

"I'm trying to convince myself it was real and not just a dream."

Deirdre reached over and pinched his arm. When he flinched, she laughed and said, "Not a dream." Walking faster to avoid retribution, she put more distance between them. She wasn't prepared to come face-to-face with Theon Greyjoy and stopped suddenly, causing Jon to almost run into her.

"There you are. Robb and I were beginning to worry about you." Theon looked at Jon suspiciously.

"Jon was showing me the Godswood. I heard about it and wanted to see it," Deirdre said a little too quickly. Turning to Jon, she added with a smile, "Thank you for accompanying me. It is a magical place."

"I'll take you back to the hall," Theon said, holding out his arm to her.

Deirdre didn't want to be rude but she most definitely didn't want to take his arm. Unfastening Jon's cloak, she pulled it from her shoulders and handed it to Jon. "And thank you for helping to keep me warm."

Jon smirked, barely restraining a laugh at her not so subtle remark, as he took the cloak back. "It was my pleasure, Lady Deirdre, to spend time in your company."

Turning from him at last, Deirdre winked at Jon, who Theon was now studying curiously, before she walked swiftly into the hall. The hall felt too warm with so many people in there.

Jamie walked up beside her and placed his hand on her elbow and pulling her aside away from prying ears. "Dearest cousin, you best be careful not to disappear too often."

"The wine went to my head and it was too hot in here. I needed some fresh air…"

Jamie studied her long and hard, causing Deirdre to look down, knowing that he'd see the guilt on her face. "Fix your hair," he said and waited while she did, then handed her a cup of something cold. "Press this to your lips. They're swollen." He stood there a moment before shaking his head.

"It's not what you think…" she began but his look made it clear that he was not amused and she dared not continue that sentence.

"A Lannister does not lie with a bastard from the North," he whispered sternly. "Do not even let it cross your mind."

"I didn't! I wouldn't…it was just a walk and Lord Snow behaved honorably." Deirdre insisted and Jamie raised an eyebrow. She noticed Cersei studying them intently from across the room and tears filled her eyes, worrying that Jamie would say or do something to Jon. Raising them to his, she pleaded, "We did nothing wrong. Please, Jamie."

He watched her for a moment then sighed. Placing his hands on her shoulders, he said in a low voice, "You're young, beautiful, no longer innocent, and from the richest house in Westeros. That puts you in a vulnerable place, dear cousin, so have a care lest you make a mistake you cannot undo."

Deirdre nodded and he placed a kiss on her forehead before returning to the head table. Cersei glared at her with complete loathing. Deirdre lowered her eyes and blinked back the tears that burned her took a moment to regain her composure before she headed toward her table. The music and drink combined had caused many to rise to dance and Tyrion caught her on the way by, pleading she dance with him, knowing she wouldn't refuse him.

After Tyrion, Robb asked her to dance. The next couple of hours were spent dancing and talking with the Stark children and their friends. Deirdre even danced with Theon Greyjoy but only once. She much preferred talking to Arya and Robb than Theon or even Sansa and her friends since they had nothing in common.

But her mind was really on the one Stark child that wasn't there.