A/N
: Song fic. slash pairing. Don't like, don't read. Sorry and no flames either.Disclaimer
: Sorry, don't own digimon. I wish. Muhahaha, then I can take over the world. . .*realizes people are staring* Um, ignore me. . .Disclaimer
: I also don't own Michelle Branch's song, "Here with me" So don't sue me on that either.~*~*~*~*~*
I don't know why I broke up with him. But nonetheless we had broken up, partly because . . . well, really, it was really all me. I couldn't do a serious relationship anymore and each time I was with him. . .I can't explain it. But it was like I just couldn't do it, not anymore. . .
It's been a long, long time since I looked
into the mirror
I guess that I was blind
Now my reflection's getting clearer
Now that you're gone things will never be
the same again
I remember clearly what I had said to him that day, as I pushed him away. I knew he loved me deeply and would never do anything to hurt me. He'd do anything for me. Maybe that was what scared me away, having to push him away, couldn't be near him.
I'm not sure. But who knows?
But the expression on his face. . . "you have to be cruel to be kind," is what the saying says I suppose. And it is true. God, I know I hurt him. I hurt myself too. But, his face. . .
I'll never forget that image.
There's not a minute that goes by every
hour of every day
You're such apart of me
But I just pulled away
Well, I'm not the same girl
you used to know
I wish I said the words I never showed
I love him. I still do. But I know for a fact that things between us will never be the same. I mean, I broke his heart. I really, really broke it. I caused him a lot of pain, and deep down inside, I think he hates me for it.
Well, that's okay cuz I hate myself as well for causing him so much pain. Especially when he has been through other pains as well. As he grew up, his parents were divorced and all. He loved his younger brother tons.
That's how I fell in love with him. Seeing the love and care he had for his brother, Tk. He had such a major soft spot for the other blonde, that it made my own heart ached. For he would be such a wonderful father. . .
Well, whatever chance he had--we had-- I went ahead and ruined that chance. I'll never know if he'll love someone else. It's been years since he's been with someone.
Me?
Well, I haven't either.
I know you had to go away
I died just a little and I feel it now
You're the one I need
I believe I would cry just a little
Just to have you back now
Here with me
Here with me
I can't believe that I pushed him away, making him leave me. Technically I did the leaving. . .but whatever. I would do anything to have him back with me now. I never realized how much I loved him.
I still love him.
I still need him.
Is there a chance. . .to have him back?
You know the silence is loud when all
you hear is your heart
And I wanted so badly just to be apart of
something strong and true
But I was scared and left it all behind
I doubt it. If I was him, I wouldn't give someone like me a second chance. But I love him. .. Closing my eyes, I tossed and turn at night, alone, in my bed. We used to have little games at night as we were trying to fall asleep.
I loved having his arms wrapped around me, sleeping soundly next to me. I would just stay up and listen to his heart beat, listen to his breathing. . .I would think he looked like an angel, his blonde hair all ruffled up but yet. . .still neat.
How I loved being near him.
I know you had to go away
I died just a little and I feel it now
You're the one I need
I believe I would cry just a little
Just to have you back
Here with me
Here with me
I saw him the other day. At the book and music store in town. I causally strolled in, looking for some books to buy for my younger sister. I was actually looking at the book marks when I bumped into someone.
I turned around to apologize but only stopped cold to see it was him.
His sapphire eyes blinked once and stammered, "I'm sorry," at the same time as I did.
We both blushed and looked away. How I just wanted to lean forward, grab him into a hug, kissing him as well.
But I dared not to.
"Hi, Tai," He said softly.
"Hi, Matt." I replied.
And I'm asking
And I'm waiting you to come back to me
Please?
"H-how're you?" He stammered, brushing a golden lock of hair behind his ear and shifted his wait nervously from one foot to another.
"Fine, thanks." I replied. "You?"
"It goes." Was his reply.
"Oh."
Silence between the two of us. How odd, we used to be able to talk about anything, but ever since the break up. . . .Nothing is the same. We couldn't carry a short conversation.
"Oh. Well." He said. "I better pay for these," he held up some music CD's, "and get going. . .Tk and are going out to lunch."
"Okay. Tell him I said hi. Have a good time." I said, watching him go, my heart aching. Please forgive me, Matt. . .
I never will forget that look upon
your face
How you turned away and left
without a trace
But I understand that you did what you
had to do
And I thank you
Though Matt and I never got back together, my heart still belonged to him. He taught me a lot before, during and after our relationship. I guess, what happened was meant to be.
Maybe some other life, I won't have to push him away.
Maybe I won't run away scared.. . It's ironic. . .You'd think he'd run away scared. But no, surprisingly enough it was me.
I know you had to go away
I died just a little and I feel it now
You're the one I need
I believe I would cry just a little
Just to have you back now
Here with me
Here with me
Never run away from what you know is right in your heart. If it feels true, don't be scared. Don't run. Feel and accept the love that is given to you. . .
I only wish I had done that, instead of being scared and running away.
Yet life does continue on. . .
~*~*~*~*~
Like? I hope so. I guess I was in a somewhat melancholy mood. *shrugs*
Please review, I'll loooove yous forever!!
Peace
~*zara*~