A/N So over the Easter break I have been reliving my childhood and watching ATLA again. And of course it hit me right in the zutara feels. I've also found a lot of great zutara fics on here and have been inspired to write my own. I love these characters and the chemistry between them. This is set a few nights after Sozin's comet. I hope you enjoy it
Please review, I'd love to hear your feedback and may also continue or add some more oneshots if there are any requests. :)
"ZUKO!" his name escaped her lips as a desperate cry as she awoke in a cold sweat. Katara bolted up in the grand bed she had been sleeping in the past few nights. Her breath came out as heavy pants as her eyes wildly searched her surroundings, taking in the spacious room. As her gaze flicked over the mahogany dresser attached to a beautiful mirror decorated with gold trimmings, the matching wardrobe, exquisite red drapes and agar bathroom door, her heart slowed. Taking a deep breath Katara lay back down against the too soft pillow; it was funny how she had longed for luxuries such as this as a child and even while on the run while she witnessed the devastation of war, yet now that she had it her body seemed to repel its comfort.
It was the same nightmare. The one she had been having since her first night in the palace. She accompanied Zuko to face Azula yet was sidelined as he agreed to an Agni Kai. She felt fear which morphed into hope and pride as her companion so clearly gained the upper hand and then fear again as lighting flew directly toward her. She was frozen. It was as if her brain was telling her to run but her body was incapable of responding as the stream of blue electricity flew toward her. She closed her eyes anticipating pain but it didn't come. It never came. She opened her eyes and watched in horror as Zuko lay before her writhing in pain, the smell of burning flesh filling her senses. she tried to run to him but she couldn't. Her legs wouldn't move again. She tried to scream but her voice was non-existent. She was rendered hopeless and helpless as Azula cackled and continued her onslaught of assaults this time directed at the already maimed Zuko, forcing Katara watched as she tortured and killed him before her eyes.
Katara shuddered again as the remnants of her subconscious terror clouded her mind again. Zuko had saved her life. Zuko could've died. Zuko's not dead. It had become her mantra. She could not bring her mind to move on from the horror that could've easily become reality until she repeated those words to herself. The image of his electrocuted lifeless body flashed through her head again. Zuko's not dead, she told herself again, harsher this time similar to the way she would scold Toph. Katara felt sick to her stomach. Her emotions were in overdrive, mixing together in a very strong, toxic cocktail. She felt guilty that he had gotten so severely injured saving her life. She felt worried about his wellbeing due to said injury. She felt relieved that the battle had only left him with another scar. But most of all she felt scared. Scared of the intensity of her fear for him and scared of the ache in her heart strong enough to crush the entire earth kingdom every time she awoke from her nightmares. Suddenly the scarlet satin sheets surrounding her body felt as though they were suffocating her; she was too warm. Katara rose from her bed with a sigh and pattered toward the adjoining bathroom to her quarters. She relished in the feel of cool marble beneath her feet allowed the sensation to calm her tense body. She stopped at the basin intending to wash her face, but paused in her intentions as she caught sight of her reflection in the accompanying mirror. She noticed her mussed hair from restless sleep and ran her fingers through it a few times. She noticed bags beginning to set beneath her eyes and sighed. But what really caught her attention were the tear stains that resided on her face. She had not even realised that she cried. Shaking her head she proceeded to wash her face.
Re-entering the bedroom, Katara did not know what to do. She awkwardly hovered as she contemplated her options. She knew she would not be able to find much grace in sleep and thus ruled that option out. Her brain was still alight with worry. It was laughable really, the naïve thoughts of herself from merely days ago; thoughts that assured the end of the war would bring immediate peace of mind. She thinks that she knew it wasn't true all along but chose to believe her naïve vision in order to keep herself focussed. Focussed on winning. She thinks of Aang and feels a pang of guilt for not mulling over the young boys health and wellbeing as she is Zuko's. Zuko. The image of him lying in her arms with a gaping wound in his chest enters her thoughts and her heart aches again. For a brief moment she wonders why the thought of him dead and/ or hurt is effecting her so severely. But only for a short moment. Because deep down she knows why. She needs to see him. She needs to see him now.
Katara rushes out of her room and into the seemingly endless halls of the Fire Nation palace. Her body works on autopilot, navigating through the extravagant structure toward the chambers on the soon to be Fire Lord. She was vaguely aware of a few stray servants casting way ward looks at her but was too concerned with her current goal to care. After a short while Katara found herself in the court yard that separated the Royal chambers from the guest ones. Zuko had not wanted to stay so far from his friends but he also knew some traditions should not be disrespected so soon after his assumption of power. The glowing moon shone down, illuminating the night in a way that made power surge through Katara's veins. It was a silent night, one that made Katara feel as though peace wasn't as far -fetched an idea as the world seemed to advocate.
By the time she crosses the court yard and enters another set of grand wooden doors her heart rate is far beyond what must be considered safe and she feels as though she is teetering on the brink of a panic attack. All she can think is Zuko. Her legs pick up speed as his door comes into her line of sight. The next thing she knows she's in his room.
Her eyes land on him as soon as she enters. He's standing out on the balcony overlooking the main courtyard, his forearms propped on the railing and his back to her. For the first time since she left her own room Katara feels her resolve falter as her breath catches in her throat. He's not wearing a shirt and the muscles of his back are taught and welcoming. All of a sudden she is conscious of her lack of clothing- she is dressed only in her bindings- and feels her cheeks heat at the indecency she had just paraded through the palace. Her embarrassment is quickly forgotten though as Zuko's gravelly voice intrudes the silence of the room.
"Katara?" part of her is surprised that he knew it was her without turning but his concerned tone reminds Katara why she came to him in the first place. She crosses the room and steps out onto the balcony with him, mimicking his position propped against the railing. She takes a moment to collect her thoughts. It's funny, now that she's here with him her worry seems to have dissipated and has been replaced with an intriguing combination of relief and anxiety. He's always had that effect on her though, making her feel nervous and calm at the same time; contrasting emotions like their elements. He speaks again before she has decided what she wants to say to him.
"Couldn't sleep?" the question is innocent enough but there is a slight edge to his words that makes her think he couldn't sleep either and the reason is foul tasting to him.
"No," she shakes her head as he looks at her. His eyes are glowing amber that immediately fill her with warmth. He continues to watch her but does not speak and she's not sure if he is waiting for her to expand or can see that she has something to get out, either way she uses the pause to gather her resolve.
"I keep having bad dreams," her confession leaves her lips softly and his eyes soften as he subtly moves closer to her.
"I've been getting those too. Do you want to talk about it?" Mere months ago this conversation would have been awkward, a strained offer to help a friend whom had just become one. But it wasn't now, not after everything. Katara offers a small smile but shakes her head again to which Zuko raises a single eyebrow.
"I just needed to see you."
"See me?" He has completely facing her now. Katara nods again, her gaze dropping. It is then that she notices the angry red mark on his chest. The mark that proves his heroism. The evidence of what he did for her. The mark that reminds her of his limp body, of burning flesh, of fear and of heart wrenching pain. She feels another wave of hysteria creeping up on her but forces it down. She needs to get this out.
"I needed to see you, to be sure…I needed to know you were alive." Her words are barely audible and sounded more vulnerable than she intended but it was the truth, both the words and the audible sentiment that accompanied them. Zuko's eyes soften again as he looks at her. He's silent for a moment before he slowly reaches for her hand. Once he reaches it he encases it in his larger one, raising it before carefully placing it on his chest. Katara's breath hitches as she feels his strong and steady heart beat beneath her palm. With each beat her worries are shredded away.
"Katara I'm alive." His voice is strong and reassuring and exactly what she needs to hear. She closes her eyes revelling in his heartbeat, his scent-fire, musk and sandalwood- his breath warm on her cheek.
"In my dreams I'm not fast enough and…" his voice cracks and he trails enough not able to say what happens next. Thinking about it is enough to tear his insides apart. Katara opens her eyes, feeling an overwhelming surge of emotion for the broken man in front of her.
"Zuko you have nothing to feel-"
"No Katara I do. Things could've have easily ended differently and I don't think I could ever have forgiven myself if they did. I'm sorry for what almost happened." He is sincere and she feels touched by his obvious care for her but she can't help the small ignition of anger sparking within her.
"Don't apologise to me! You almost died saving my life!" she exclaims, eyes reflecting the passion and emotion behind her words.
"I don't care! I would die to save your life a thousand times over!" she doesn't know if he meant for that admission to be released to her ears, but his set jaw, ignited amber iris' and strong stance let her know that he doesn't care that it was and for what feels like the hundredth time that night her heart mends itself a little more.
"I'd do the same for you," Her pride has washed away now. She needs him to know that she would die for him because she would. Their eyes lock as he lifts his other hand to move a stray lock of hair out of her face. He sighs and a small smile plays on his lips. He admires her strength and stubbornness to match his own. The smile fades though as a more serious expression overtakes his features.
"Katara, I needed… need you to stay alive because I don't know if I can keep living without you." Her eyes widen at his confession. Again he appears strong and the intensity of his gaze makes her feel as though he is looking past her eyes and deep into her soul, viewing the very substance of her existence. Her emotions are running havoc in her chest, exploding with feelings that she doesn't recognise. Her stomach drops and her head feels light, her heart aches but it's a kind of pain that is welcome. An ache that makes her feel as though every missing and broken piece of her is being fixed and pushed back into place all at once. She tries to speak but words don't seem adequate, besides she is incapable of forming them at the moment. So follows her instincts and kisses him instead.
It's a slow kiss, but full of passion and feeling and relief and fear and life. Zuko's hand that was holding hers to his chest moves back down to snake around her waist and pull her closer as his other cups the back of her neck while Katara wraps her arms around his neck, hands playing with the ends of his jet black hair. Their lips embrace each other like lost souls finally finding home as their tongues meet. They break apart after what feels like forever yet no long enough at the same time, remaining close while their breaths mingle together.
"I can't live without you either," Katara whispers after a moment causing Zuko's own heart to find its missing pieces as he flashes her a smile that makes Katara reach up to kiss him again, though this time more aggressively than before. Zuko moans a little at the force behind her embrace, pulling her closer moulding her body against his own and as their passion grew and morphed into lust Katara found even more proof that he was very much alive and well.