PDA awareness intervention.
"No, not again." Tony cried out when he got into the kitchen for breakfast. "Why did you even leave your room?" He asked the happy couple totally ignoring him.
Darcy was sitting on the counter Steve tugged between her legs kissing her deeply letting only breathless moans out of her.
"Don't tell them that, it's the first time in three days that we get to see them." Clint chastised Tony.
"No one needs to see this much of them." Bruce said morally supporting Tony.
"They just got married let them be." Pepper told them.
"It was a month ago." Tony tried. "And it's not like they haven't been dating for 3 years before that."
"I actually don't think they are even aware of us." Natasha stated leaning against the counter opposing them.
"Did they even eat something?" Sam asked concerned, he had been there for half an hour and apart from each other tongue he didn't saw them get anything in their mouths.
"Oh yeah like an hour ago when I got in Steve was hand feeding her cut off fruits, they are good." Wanda assured them.
"Are you even old enough to be allowed around them?" Tony asked looking at her with wide eyes.
"For the hundredth times Stark we are 22." Pietro groaned from behind him.
"I am not even sure I am old enough to be near them." Tony told him.
"We need to do something, my daughter is coming to visit this weekend and she is definitely underage." Scott whined from the kitchen table.
"I suggest locking them in their room until she gets back to her mom, I don't think anything else would cut it." Bucky finally told them pushing the couple out of his way to the spoons drawer not even getting them to look at him for it.
"Okay Thor, I need Darcy to get down to work please remove the Star and Spangle man from her body." Jane said and Thor grabbed Steve who whined loudly at getting pulled away from Darcy. "Work now!" Jane said when Darcy looked at her pouting.
Three days later.
"Arghhhhhhhhhhh!" Rhodey screamed getting into the living room for movie night.
"Hey! Get in here." Tony told him from the kitchen.
"My eyes…" Rhodey complained. "I'll never be able to un-see that."
"Yeah well we are going to put an end to this once and for all." Tony explained "Even if I have to hose them down to get to the point."
"Is everybody ready?" Pepper asked looking at the Avengers' Tower residents around her.
"I still think we should seriously consider waiting for them to finish." Wanda told them making a disgust face.
"Nope. Pietro is on clothes wearing duty." Nat told her, "It will have a better chance to work if we get them to feel even a little embarrassed."
"And you'll get to see Steve's ass, so stop complaining" Bucky joked, kissing her temple.
"Okay, I am going in." Pietro informed them before disappearing in a blur reappearing a few second after a high pitch scream came to them from the other room. "Done. I am never doing it again FYI."
The group waited a few minutes before Steve called them in.
"We might have gotten a little bit carried away." Steve told them shielding a tomato red Darcy behind him on the couch.
"Nope you don't get to talk. FRIDAY please the banner." Tony said and FRIDAY's holograms showed a blue, red and white banner saying 'To Mrs. and Mr. Captain America, PDA Awareness Intervention'.
"Oh come on guys we are not that bad." Darcy complained.
"Not so bad? Yesterday Steve got a broken nose because you walked in the training room while we were sparing." Clint told her. "Only seeing you is distracting him"
"And the day before that we all got to enjoy Steve feeding you dinner, 'lady and the Tramp' style." Pepper added.
"That's not even speaking of the concern on the lack of oxygen in your system." Bruce tried to logic his way out of this.
"Seriously? Oxygen deprivation is what you want to complain about?" Scott asked him, "Last week you caught them having sexy time in your Hulk proof room and you're complaining about health issues?"
"I personally would like to complain about walking on you two tonight, it's the freaking living room on Movie night you knew we were going to come in." Rhodey complained.
"The things I have seen with my powers I can do nothing about other than to learn not to accidentally get into your minds ever again, and it's a pretty good incentive, I really don't need to see those things play out in real life." Wanda added.
"I, for one, would like my BFF back, some girls' time away from any male forms with the others, or even just the person who is supposed to remind me to eat and sleep to be actually doing her self-appointed job instead of disappearing for hours to get play time with her husband." Jane stated; "It's hurting my science time."
"We are sorry." Darcy offered making it sound more like a question than actual apologies.
"No you're not." Nat remarked.
"Nope, not even a little." Steve said grinning, tugging Darcy against him while getting up walking away with his wife's legs curled around his waist. "Now if you excuse us we are going to get back to what we were doing, enjoy your movie."
"I seek asylum, I can't listen to that anymore." Bucky complained and Pietro growled when Wanda said she could always find a little place for him in her room. The couple left shortly after that.
"If they start making out everywhere too I'll write a new protocol for the Iron Legion, they'll shoot ice at everyone caught kissing in a public place." Tony informed them.