AU GLEE SEASON ONE

This is another experimental Fic! Hope you enjoy the ride. Comments are appreciated.

Some of the scenes are taken straight from Glee episodes to help incorporate this fic into the storyline of Glee.. however, it takes a turn for AU pretty quick.

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When I was a young boy
I was honest and I had more self-control
if I was tempted I would run
then when I got older
I began to lie to get exactly
what I wanted when I wanted it
and I wanted it

Now I'm having trouble
differentiating between what I want
and what I need
to make me happy.
So instead of thinking
I just act before I have
a chance to contemplate
the consequence of action

And I will turn off
And I will shut down
Burying the voices of my conscience hitting ground
And I will turn off
And I will shut down
The chemicals are restless in my head

Cause I lie
Not because I want to
But I seem to need to all the time
Yeah, I lie
And I don't even know it
Maybe this all a part of my
Flawed Design

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Mercedes Jones was leaning against the lockers just a few down from Kurt's when he strolled up. She had been waiting to meet him, but when he approached, she was staring off into space with a faraway look in her eye.
"Have you ever kissed anybody?" she asked with a sigh.

"Yes," said Kurt as he unlocked his locker. "If by someone you mean the tender crook of my elbow."
Kurt grabbed his hairspray from his locker and sprayed a cloud of it around his head.

"No, I haven't," he admitted with a sad undertone to his voice. He put his hairspray back into his locker and stared into the shallow depth of the metal compartment as a sigh escaped his lips. "But I want to."

Kurt shut his locker door and looked over at Mercedes. She was staring down the hallway at a couple who were kissing against a locker; of course it was a cheerleader and a football player. Kurt followed Mercedes' gaze and, seeing what she was looking at, shook his head and rolled his eyes.

"Okay, stop it right there, Mercedes," laughed Kurt. "We are in glee club, which means we are at the bottom of the social heap. Special needs students will get more play than we will. The only thing that gets me by is knowing that we are superior to all of them."

Grabbing her hand and linking their arms together, Kurt led her down the hallway chattering away about every moment being an opportunity for fashion. Mercedes beamed at his attention, wishing they could be 'together' like all the other couples at McKinley High. When they approached Kurt's next class he asked her to meet him for lunch after suggesting they hit the mall after school and with that he left her to go to his class.

She smiled to herself, wondering if he might be interested in her. He was a bit more 'fabulous' than the average boy, but he had never outright said he was gay. What if he wasn't? What if there was a chance? No, she shouldn't get her hopes up like that. He was most certainly gay, even if not completely 'out-of-the-closet'.

Just as she sped up her walk to head to her next class, she was approached on either side by Quinn and Santana, the head cheerleaders. They linked arms with her as if they were her best friends. Sure, they had just joined Glee club, but she never expected them to be 'chummy' with her. They were at the top of the food chain and she was at the bottom.

"You should totally scoot that," said Quinn, her 'head cheerleader smile' firmly fixed in place.

"I don't think I'm his type," said Mercedes, shaking her head and smiling. She hoped they would pick up what she meant by that without her having to spell it out.

"Oh, I think you are," replied Quinn.

Mercedes raised an eyebrow and looked over at Santana who simply nodded.

"Just follow our lead," offered Quinn. "We've got your back."

Raising both eyebrows in surprise, Mercedes looked back and forth between the two cheerleaders as they both smiled sweetly at her. They walked with her until she reached her next class and then left her with matching smiles and winks. Mercedes wasn't sure if she should be pleased or terrified by the sudden attention she had gotten from them, but the prospect of having Kurt for a boyfriend was too exciting for her to dwell on the unease the two cheerleaders had placed in the pit of her stomach.

Walking down the school hallway, Kurt fumbled with his large stack of text books he was planning on dropping off at his locker before heading to lunch in the cafeteria with Mercedes. He didn't notice the three guys in red jackets walking up behind him until he was flying sideways and smashing into the lockers, his books falling from his arms. All balance lost, he slid to the floor to join his books in a heap of disarray. As his brain was only just catching up to what had just happened, he felt an ice-cold liquid pour down over his head, dripping down his face and the back of his neck.

One of the three boys tossed a 'big-gulp' slushee cup to the ground beside Kurt before the group walked away laughing together. Kurt didn't bother standing up, just scraped some of the frozen blue liquid from his eyes with one hand before pulling his cell out of his pocket with the other. He turned the screen on and found the familiar number in his contacts to text Mercedes that he'd be late.

Finally, stood and, pocketing his cell phone, he gathered his books. He sped-walked to his locker, dropped off his text books and grabbed his 'Slushee Survival Kit'. He wondered if it would get better or worse before he was able to graduate and get out of this stupid town as he walked to the bathroom to clean up.

Though Kurt tried not to think about it all that much, Mercedes has successfully put it on his radar earlier that morning.

He was lonely.

Obviously, he longed for someone. He would see couples holding hands as they walked down the hallways, or kissing between classes (sometimes making out between classes), or sitting together at lunch, or just flirting with each other, and it would just reinforce his loneliness. But, he wasn't just lonely in the sense that he wished for a special someone, he was lonely because he felt completely alone.

There was Tina and Rachel who both dreamed of being performers, something they had in common with Kurt. There was Mercedes who loved to go shopping and was equally as diva. Other than that, though, Kurt was alone. He didn't have anyone to confide in over his daily struggles. His dad loved him and supported him, but he didn't really 'get him'.

Kurt was a complete social outcast, and, as far as he knew, he was the only gay kid in his school. He hadn't even 'come out' about it and yet he was taunted for it all the time. Being in glee club didn't help his social status at school, nor did his lack of involvement in sports or his high speaking voice, but he was definitely targeted mostly for being a 'fag'.

What would happen if he actually did admit it? And what if his wildly unrealistic fantasy of meeting another gay guy who shared many of the same interests as him were to magically come true and he did find someone? How much worse would the taunting and the bullying be, then? He was pretty much doomed to continue to be lonely until he could get out of Lima, Ohio.

Kurt sighed and began his all-too-familiar task of cleaning slushee from his hair, face, and clothes.

lyrics from "Flawed Design" by Stabillo