Fluff - for when you're done reading all the other good stuff!
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Chapter One – There are Rules and Then There are Artie's Rules
There were so many rules that came with working in the Warehouse that HG could have spent days reading through them. She was aware of course of the obvious ones; don't touch the artifacts or don't use them for personal gain, etc. Then there were the less understandable ones that you learned only by experience; don't disturb Leena when she was cooking, don't talk to Pete when the football game was on and never ask Claudia what the explosive sound was coming from the basement. She was learning them bit by bit. Some were easier to get than others because some simply didn't make sense.
HG was also learning the rules of engagement with her fellow agents, too. When Claudia was upset and yelled she didn't want to talk about it, very often she did indeed want to talk to HG about it later. When Myka said she was unsure of something, she often just needed time or more prodding to get at the answer. Pete was a mystery unto himself. His interactions were sometimes the most confusing to HG. He liked to tease or kid and sometimes HG just didn't understand his colloquialisms. Sometimes he was competitive, other times comforting. He played many roles to all the women in the house – a big brother to Myka and Claudia. Leena had a crush on him. HG knew he admired her on the upside, but on the downside, he could be threatened. As bright as Pete was, he knew HG was brighter. In fact, he thought she was probably brighter than Myka and that was saying something.
That morning, Artie summoned them all for the daily meeting. He had doled out the assignments for the day. He was having car trouble and asked Myka to drive him back to the Warehouse with Claudia to commence the work. HG and Pete were to wait at the house. He was expecting a special delivery and once it came, they should come to work. Pete took this as an opportunity to think of things so as not to be bored. He tried all morning to get HG to take up one of his bets. "I bet I can eat more danishes than you," just wasn't enticing her. Pete hated when the other person wouldn't play along. He put a lot of thoughts into these charades.
"OK, I asked Leena to hide the keys to the van. The first one to find them gets to take the car to the Warehouse and the other has to walk. Whoever gets to the Warehouse first, wins," he said and could see HG wasn't biting.
"That's childish at best, Mr. Lattimer," she all but scolded him.
"Yeah, but the first one there will get to go with Myka into town for supplies," he dangled and HG bit. Time alone with Myka was the incentive HG could never resist and Pete knew it.
Within seconds, the two of them were dashing off through the house looking for the hidden set of keys. Pete had one advantage – he was taller. Helena was crafty and good at detail so she looked for something that might be out of place. But while she was busy searching, Pete looked on the top shelf of the book case and found the keys that Leena had tossed up there.
Pete grabbed them and ran out to the car – yelling back at HG that he was about to win. He was laughing as he drove away, HG in the rearview mirror. Now HG would have never hear the end of it from Artie that she wasn't on time and Pete would get to go with Myka into town. She glanced around and found her only chance.
Pete was laughing as he drove along the back roads to the Warehouse. He would tell Artie that HG wanted to walk and then if asked for an explanation, shrug his shoulders. Artie would certainly buy that Pete didn't understand HG. He was enjoying himself when he caught sight of a small red dot in his rearview mirror getting closer and closer.
"No, she didn't. She wouldn't," he thought. No one in their right mind would take Artie's car. Then again, he was talking about HG. He had to tell her. He started to slow down but that only put HG out in front of him. So then he tried to speed up which meant she sped up, too. For someone who hadn't been driving that long, she sure was handling the Jaguar. Pete pressed on the gas in an attempt to save her from what surely would be death by torture if Artie found out.
They raced up to the front of the Warehouse where Pete jumped out. All his yelling and hand waving to the Brit simply meant he was upset he lost.
"A bet is a bet, Mr. Lattimer. Now accept your losing with some grace, darling," she rebuked him.
"HG, what did you do? What were you thinking?" he asked and confused her.
"I believe I won?" she responded.
"No, Artie's car! No one touches Artie's car. No one," he got out.
"Oh stop your blathering, dear. It's unbecoming for the loser not to congratulate the winner," she said thinking Pete was simply, well, blathering.
The screech of the tires may not have penetrated the inner sanctum of the warehouse, but the approach of cars – which could have been mistaken as vehicles attempting to breech the security – triggered alarms inside. Claudia was the first to see the image on the screen and did her best to hide them once she caught on that it was, in fact, Pete in the SUV and someone else who wanted to die a painful death for taking Artie's car.
"Uh, Myka, we have a problem over here," she said through gritted teeth hoping Artie would not emerge from the file room too soon.
"What were those alarms?" Myka asked.
"Myka, we have an issue over here," she attempted to say again without raising her voice.
Myka walked over to the screen and took in the image of Pete and HG…. And the red car. And then she saw someone else emerging from the Warehouse door. Artie.
"Oh, please Agent Lattimer, I can't believe you are making such a fuss over this. I won, fair and square," HG complained now getting tired of Pete trying to minimize her accomplishment. Suddenly, his face got a very funny look on it and she came to know it as the one he got when he had a really bad vibe.
"What is it now?" she asked.
"Agent Wells!" came the blood curdling cry and it made her jump.
"Is that Artie?" she asked looking at Pete as if there were any doubt. Pete shook his head vigorously.
Surely the man would not begrudge her using the car just this once. She turned to see the image of her boss huffing toward the car, with arms outstretched. His mouth was opened but nothing was coming out. And that was a good thing. Finally, the words connected with his thoughts.
"Agent Wells? Did you drive this car, my car? Did you ….," he asked searching to see if there was damage. None appeared on the body.
"Artie, I borrowed your car ….," HG started to say. Now Claudia and Myka were coming out of the main door. And then it happened.
Artie had left the car for the repair shop to pick it up. It was burning oil and he didn't think it was safe to drive it into town. The engine starting to hiss and smoke started to pour out of it. Myka stopped short, putting her arm out in front of Claudia in a protective gesture. Pete ran to the hood and attempted to open it. HG and Artie both stared mouths agape. Steam spewed out of the hood and Pete pulled back. Myka ran to HG's side.
"Helena, did you drive Artie's car?" she asked in total disbelief.
"Pete made a bet ….," she started to say to her friend but looked over at Artie who coming toward her now. "….yes," was all she said.
Myka cringed. If there were an 11th Commandment, she was certain it was – 'thou shalt not drive Artie's car'. How did Helena miss that rule? There was not time to answer. Myka instinctually stepped in front of HG when Artie got close. The action caught Artie by surprise and he stared at Myka, eyes filled with intense heat.
"Now, Artie, Helena didn't know about not taking your car without permission…," Myka started. "….Did you Helena?" she asked behind her looking for confirmation but when she turned around, HG was not there. She was at the hood looking at the engine with Pete and now Artie was going there.
'Did this woman not know how to help herself out of these situations?' Myka thought to herself. There was HG unfazed by Artie's impending tirade. Myka shook her head.
"Agent Wells, if you made this engine seize, I am going to …..," but he stopped.
"It looks bad, Artie," Pete said thinking it was helpful that Artie should be forewarned.
Artie looked into the engine and then up at HG. It was, as far as Myka could tell, the first time HG might have considered there was a problem. The look on his face actually startled her and now she moved back just a bit.
"Artie, I believe you have an oil issue here," she said.
'You think?" was all he responded.
"Well, yes, I do given the amount of oil that has spilled out onto ….," but she didn't get to explain.
"Agent Wells, the reason I didn't take the car, my car this morning was because of the oil issue. The shop was sending over someone to tow it to the repair shop. If it was drivable, I would have taken it there or at the very least, driven myself to work!" he yelled.
'All valid points,' she thought.
"And why didn't you just come with Pete?" he asked and now the real reason was about to be exposed.
"Well, I …I thought….he had …..we …..," she stammered.
"Great, now the literary genius can't form a sentence," Myka thought. But Pete came to the rescue.
"Artie, I thought HG wasn't coming so I left after the package came. Oh, Artie, I have the package. Right, the package came," Pete said running back to the van to get it.
But his rambling and HG's inability to form a coherent thought made Artie very suspicious.
"Agent Wells? Would you care to tell me ….," but he was cut off by his phone ringing. It was Leena. The tow guys were there with the special flatbed truck that Artie had insisted on. Where was the car? How the hell was he going to give them directions to get here? Turn off at the side road that doesn't look anything like a side road?
Myka could see the expression on his face. "Oh, God, Mrs. Frederic, if you're in the neighborhood, now would be a great time to appear," Myka thought out loud and suddenly, Claudia was nudging here. There was the black Crown Victoria car pulling up.
"You're good," Claudia said.
"Arthur?" she said wondering what her entire Warehouse staff was doing outside. "Is there a reason we are all congregated outside the Warehouse?" she asked and now Myka wondered why exactly she had wished her there.
"Oh, yes, because one of your agents can't understand the rules as usual," he scoffed happy to inform Mrs. Frederic of yet another HG blunder.
"One of my agents?" the woman asked aware of his pronoun choice.
"Do you notice we're his agents when we do something good, but her agents when we do something not good?" Claudia asked Myka. Myka smiled at how noticeable the pattern was.
"Yes, I have no time to explain. I have to figure out how to get my car to Leena's without driving it," he ranted.
"James," Mrs. Frederic called to her driver. "Will you please look at this car and do what you can," she said. The young driver immediately removed his chauffeur jacket and hat and looked at the engine. Pete stood over his shoulder making inaudible suggestions. The young driver went to Mrs. Frederic's car and pulled out a roll of tape and went back to the engine.
"That should hold it long enough to get it back to Leena's," he announced and there was a collective sigh of relief.
"Yeah, that's what I thought it was," Pete agreed unnecessarily.
The impromptu mechanic closed the hood and returned to the car.
"I have to get this back to Leena's," Artie said and then turned to HG. "I'll deal with you when I get back."
"Oh, Arthur, really," Mrs. Frederic chided him. "Now, the rest of you – could we go inside and please deal with work!"
James followed Artie to ensure he got the car back there safely and then drove him back to the Warehouse. He called Myka on the Farnsworth. "Please inform Agent Wells that the mechanic assured me that driving the car upped the damages to $1300!" he yelled.
"I guess she's your agent now," Claudia scoffed.
"I want her when she's on Artie's good list," Myka complained.
"Yeah, like that's ever going to happen," Pete said.
It made Myka think. There had to be some way to help HG get on Artie's good side. And she was going to figure out what it would take if it killed her.