Dean stood in an empty motel parking lot he balled his hands into fists as he stood across from the angel Uriel, he was a badass angel with an ego and loved to twist thorns into others sides. "What are you even still doing here… I think Cas has everything covered, if we need anyone to stand on the side lines and watch the world go to hell… then how 'bout we give you a call" Dean remarked; his eyes shooting daggers at Uriel.
Uriel clenched his jaw "you arrogant mortal, you think you're humorous..."
"I think I'm adorable" Dean interrupted, a smirk spreading on his face.
"I could end your life where you stand" Uriel threatened, narrowing his eye on Dean.
"That's enough Uriel" Cas demanded, as he appeared beside Dean; standing defensively.
Uriel shook his head back and forth irritated by Castiel's need to stand by this human over his own kind "And of course Castiel comes to your rescue again…" Uriel voiced, "he still has trouble letting go… and you don't even recalled it"
"Uriel" Cas spoke his name fiercely with warning to end his sentence before it was completed.
Uriel pulled his brows together; wondering why Castiel was so concerned with what he was saying, a smirk grew on his face as he softened his expression "ahh you haven't told him… have you?" he speculated.
Dean looked over at Cas his expression filled with confusion as he waited for Cas to clear things up "Cas?" he voiced.
Cas turned his head slightly meeting Dean gaze out of the corner of his eyes, he wanted to unfold all the mystery; tell him everything right then and there, instead he quickly dropped his head downward; forcing his gaze to the cold pavement.
Dean knotted his brows together unsure of what Cas could be keeping from him, he looked back over to Uriel "tell me what?" he asked.
Uriel tilted his head back as he chuckled "oh Castiel, you deserve much more credit then I give you, it must be so… difficult to be this close to him – and for his memory to evade him of what happened in down in hell"
"i remember hell" Dean assured; as he grit his teeth to the recollection. Cas lifted his head up enough to notice the pain etched on Dean's face Cas's heart wrenched for the agony of flashbacks Dean had to endure.
"You remember hell – maybe, though you don't remember the war between angels and demons to retrieve you… you don't remember Castiel…" Uriel explained, "You remember the torture and the thoughts that maybe you deserved it" he smiled sadistically as he spoke.
"That's enough!" Castiel shouted having had enough of Uriel's games, he stepped forward; moving in front of Dean protectively.
"Did I hit a nerve Castiel..?" Uriel questioned.
"There is no reason for you to be here any longer Uriel" Cas reminded him
"You're right, I will let you settle with the useless mortals" Uriel said, before he vanished from sight.
Cas stood unmoving; as he let the silent effect of Uriel's words wash over him.
"Cas…" Dean uttered; "what was that douche bag talking about… what don't I remember?"
Cas dropped his head; his eyes closed as the vivid pictures of hell flashed before him, the cold icy bite of the eternal night; the screams that echoed all around them as they hid from the demons tracking them, Dean's body was bloody and battered from the endless torture at the hands of Alistair, his eyes were swollen shut from his tears; his voice hoarse from the painful cries, Cas wrapped his giant black wings around Deans body; shielding him from anymore of hells impact. Cas kept Dean safe as they moved closer and closer back up to the mouth of hell; Cas slowly rebuilding him along the way; fixing the broken shell of a man.
"Cas" Dean called again, "are you ok?" he asked concerned.
Cas opened his eyes snapping out of it; he turned around coming face to face with Dean.
"Cas, what happened in hell?" Dean asked.
"I took you from Alistair, you were his prize possession; the righteous man he was braking" Cas voiced, "you were worn out, you were no longer whole… and I put you back together.."
Dean furrowed his brow "you put me back together..?"
Cas nodded "yes"
"Is that it…? Why would Uriel think it's hard for you to be around me..? What aren't you telling me Cas?" Dean questioned; suspiciously, He knew Cas to well and could tell there was more to the story.
Cas looked into Dean's entrancing green eyes; and he was sent back into another flash back; Dean's eyes swallowing him whole the moment before their lips pressed together, the taste of his mouth, Dean's finger tips sliding along Cas's skin.
"Cas.." Dean called, forcing Castiel back to reality again "what is it?" he barked.
Cas swallowed loudly and took a deep breath "after I restored your soul; we… I – I lost control" he confessed.
"Lost control..? What does that mean?" Dean asked.
"I was only meant to save you… but—I.. I fell – for you." He uttered; his voice shaky as he revealed the secret he had been holding on to.
"Fell.. What do you mean fell..?" Dean examined the words, trying to understand what he was saying.
"it is against the rules for and angel and a human to love one another… but we did – you and I did, but when we broke through hells barrier; you didn't remember who I was… what I was" Cas explained.
"So you and I.." Dean mumbled as he motioned his hand between them
Cas nodded "yes"
"And ever since you've kept this from me…?" Dean voiced.
"yes, as all I wanted was for you to be restored and… happy" Cas lowered his gaze "I realize we can't have that" he said, "it hasn't been without it's struggles, as when I stand to close to you… though I'm doing my best not to fall" he assured.
Dean cleared his throat "ya, well I don't remember any of it, and I'm pretty sure I'm not into dudes" he voiced, then grew silent.
Cas nodded his head slowly; as he listened to Dean tell him what he already knew and he let his head sink down to the ground once more.
"but…" Dean uttered "all I know is every time you're close to me…" he paused as he stepped in closer to Cas "all I want to do – is this…" he whispered; reaching out and pulling Cas in close enough to kiss him.
Cas fell into Dean soft lips; as he parted his own not being able to have enough all at once. Cas through his arms around Dean; holding him close as his hands clung to the clothes that hung from his body.
Dean's lips mimicked with the motion of Castiel's, his heart pounding beneath his chest; was he really kissing his best friend… his mind raced but he couldn't make himself stop.
Cas's tightened his hands at Dean's waist; restraining himself as he pulled his lips away from Deans.
They both stared at each other silently, until Dean smiled shyly "I can't believe you kept that from me Cas…" he said hesitantly "we could have been doing that the whole time" his smile widened and his cheeks turned faintly pink from his awkwardness. Cas's face lit up; he leaned in resting his forehead against Dean's "believe me if I had have known the outcome… I would have told you immediately" he assured.