AN: I really, honestly couldn't help it...the scenario popped into my mind a couple of hours ago and I was like, "Okay, I'll post this after I finish the next two stories I plan to write." But I could not wait. I mean, geeze, I liked the idea. I just want to post it. xD
The songs are original, they came from my brain, that's why they look kinda crappy. The Rainbow Portal and Daydream Cloud are mine. Because I had the Rainbow Portal in my head for a few years now and I am Daydream Cloud.
Feedback, as always, will be appreciated. :3
The Cease-Fire
The BLU team was sitting in the recreation room, bored. It was a Saturday and it was cease-fire. It was a really hot day too. Even Spy was sitting on the couch, staring into space.
"Zhis is ridiculous! Vhy are ve sitting here doing nozhing?!" Medic suddenly cried out.
"Well, you know the auzoress, she always makes cease-fires boring for us," Spy raised an eyebrow. Suddenly, a Rainbow Portal opened up in the wall and Daydream Cloud slid through. She made an unimpressed face as the Rainbow Portal closed up behind her.
"I heard that!" she said, getting up.
"Yo, Daydream, I gotta something to tell you. You. SUCK!" Scout waved his bat her. Daydream ran a hand down her face, wondering why she ever chose a noun for her username.
"Guys, you do know that it's already torture for me to write a chapter each time and then wait for some review to pop up, thinking that everyone must be thinking, 'Oh, this is crap, I'm going to type a review all about it!'" Daydream groaned.
"Vhat does zhat have to do with zhe cease-fires and zhe lack of fighting?" Medic demanded.
"Uh..." Daydream fidgeted awkwardly. "Anyway! That's exactly why I came here! I thought of something that you could do during this cease-fire."
"WHAT?!" everyone asked immediately. Daydream fell silent for a moment.
"...I thought you guys could have a singing competition," she finally said.
"You have got to be kidding me!" Scout exclaimed.
"Ah, piss," Sniper muttered.
"This is why we do not allow girls in the battlefield! They belong in the-" Soldier started before he was cut off by Daydream.
"If you start that rubbish about girls belonging in the kitchen, I can guarantee you that I will personally drag to you to my torture chamber and enjoy seeing you scream LIKE A GIRL while I torture you!" Daydream yelled. She often imagined people and superheroes being tortured by villains for some reason and found it pretty satisfying. Soldier gulped and fell silent. Daydream smirked.
"C'mon guys, it's just for a fanfic I want to write," she pleaded.
"All this for a bloody fanfic?" Sniper spat.
"Hell yeah, people could see how awesome I am!" Scout cheered.
"I'm going to decide that he's speaking on you guys' behalf so...let's get this going then!" Daydream took out her notebook and wrote, "The recreation room then had a stage, with the chairs and couches arranged for the audience. All the other stuff unnecessary for the singing competiton randomly disappears and will come back after the competition." As soon as she wrote that, the rec room changed and then there was a stage with the chairs and couches arranged in rows for the audience of eight (one on stage, one will be the judge).
"I'll be the judge, okay? Okay," she said quickly without waiting for a reply from anyone else.
She scribbled some more stuff in her notebook and a separate chair and table from the audience and she sat in the chair. There were ten placards on the table.
"Okay, maximum is ten points, minimum is zero. Those with zee most points wins," she said, accidentally saying "the" the way Spy says it in his French accent. "Good Lord, I reread my posts too much...LOL, I actually said 'Good Lord' like Spy does!" Daydream has this habit of saying "LOL" in real life.
And she says it a LOT.
"Okay, up first is Heavy!" Daydream announced, putting on an American accent on purpose. Daydream picked up her notebook again and wrote, "Blue spotlight shines down on the star at the stage as the room plunges into darkness." The room plunged into darkness and a blue spotlight flashed down onto Heavy, which had gotten up on the stage. Daydream suddenly realised that she had forgotten something - a microphone! She hurriedly scribbled that down into her notebook and a microphone appeared in Heavy's hand. Geeze, she was always forgetting stuff.
"Alright, you can begin now. Go silent when I stay stop," she said, inwardly telling herself that she was supposed to say "You maybegin", not "You can begin". Daydream can be a Grammar Nazi to her own self sometimes. Okay, scratch that, all the time. There was a moment of silence.
"What is Heavy supposed to sing?" Heavy suddenly asked. Daydream just barely restrained herself from doing a facepalm.
"Just sing about anything! Random stuff! Like I do sometimes!" she said, only sounding a little irritated as she didn't want to hurt Heavy's feelings. She was a softy that way.
"Oh, okay." Heavy turned back to the rest of his team.
"I will sing about sandvich!" he declared. Scout burst out laughing and Daydream threw a random glow-in-the-dark stick at him. It hit him on the head.
"Ow! What the heck was that for-"
"Shut up!" she hissed, interrupting him.
"Go on." She gestured to the Heavy. He cleared his throat nervously.
"Everyday Heavy eat sandvich,
Sandvich is good,
Sandvich is healthy,
It make Heavy strong!
Is good sandvich!
Everyday when battle,
Heavy eat sandvich,
Sandvich make Heavy bulletproof!
Sandvich make Heavy feel good!
Is good Sandvich!
When Heavy calls,
Sandvich come!
When Heavy needs,
Sandvich there!
When Heavy wants,
Sandvich here!
Sandvich here,
Sandvich there,
Sandvich, sandvich, everywhere!" He was about to sing more but Daydream cut him off.
"Stop! It was a...good song," she gave him a smile but in her head, she was thinking, "Ohhhhh myyyy gossshhh. What the heck did I just listen to?!"
"So, what points do Heavy get?" he asked. She'd already decided. She raised up the placard with the number 4 on it and the blue spotlight shone on it so that everyone could see in the darkness. Daydream was a bit nervous of what Heavy would say as she never liked to make anybody feel down but he seemed happy about it.
"Haha! Pow!" He walked merrily off the stage and took a place in the audience. Daydream blinked. What the heck just happened? Oh, never mind, next. Who should it be?
"Medic! You got two minutes," she called. Medic walked towards the stage slightly hesitantly but tried to look more confident.
"Aww, Daydream! When's it gonna be my turn?" Scout whined in the darkness.
"Argh, fine, I promise that you're next if you will just keep quiet," Daydream rolled her eyes.
"Woohoo!"
"Scout..."
"Alright, alright!" By then, Medic had stood up on the stage.
"Ahem...today I am going to sing about..." he put on an evil-looking sneer. Daydream smacked her face.
"Gosh, I forget everything!" She scribbled in her notebook, "Make anything that's in the singer's mind appear on stage." She snapped her notebook shut and prepared to listen to Medic.
"Damen und Herren!
I vork as a Medic,
I heal people,
I make experiments,
Zhey are vunderbar!
I vork as a Medic,
Out on zhe battlefield,
People call for help,
I help kill zhe REDs!
I vork as a Medic,
Running tests on people,
In my lab,
Sometimes on my team-mates too...
I vork as a Medic,
I stick tubes in people,
I lost my medical license,
Hahahahahahaha!
This was getting crazy. Medic was starting to laugh maniacally. There were also pictures on his gruesome 'experiments' flashed on the wall behind Medic. Daydream shook her head and crossed out the previous line she had written in her notebook.
"Stop! You took...26 seconds," she shrugged and held up the placard, which said, "6 points!" Medic looked pleased as he walked off the stage after placing the microphone on the floor. "He experiments on his team-mates?!"
"I'm next!" Scout ran up the stairs and picked up the microphone. Daydream smirked.
"All right, remember, stop when I say stop."
"Yeah, yeah." Scout made a pose.
"Do you know who you're looking at?
It's kind of a big deal.
You'll regret it if you don't recognise me.
Yeah, that's right!
I'm the Scout!
Woo!
I run faster than anyone,
I jump higher than anyone,
I punch harder than anyone.
I know how to beat you up.
Pop quiz,
How long does it take to beat a moron to death?
Time's up, it takes 5 seconds, ya morons!
Spies,
Freaking backstabbing snakes (no offence, Spy),
They think they're cool with their fancy suits,
To be honest?
They. SUCK.
I owned a lot of people!
I beat the shit out of them.
Then, they beg for mercy.
What do I say?
NO MERCY!
You think you're better than me?
Well, I dare ya,
Come over here!
See how long you can last.
End result?
You. DIE.
Because nobody's better than me." Scout beamed proudly.
"Oh, Scout...you took 42 seconds," Daydream said, looking at her watch. Scout looked eagerly at the placard she held up.
"WHAT?! Five freakin' points?! But mine was awesome! And it was the best!" he said angrily.
"Oh chill, Scout. If you haven't boasted in your song, I might have given you a seven. At least it's catchy, you know. Just because you got lesser points than Medic, doesn't mean I don't like it," she drawled lazily. Scout just shrugged and walked grumpily off the stage.
"Sniper, you're next," she said.
"Do Oi really have to, sheila? I don't feel loike it."
"Oh, geeze, fine! I'm not going to force anyone. I can never understand stage fright but whatever. Soldier?" Daydream asked.
"NO! Singing is for girls who belong in the-"
"Soldier, I still have that torture chamber open, you know."
"Uh, I mean, I was saying, I don't want to because...I don't know what to sing! And I get major stage fright! And I get sick when I have stage fright! And I get the fever when I'm sick! And when I have the fever-"
"Okay, okay, chill, bro!" Daydream did jazz hands and made a "Would you just chill a bit?" face.
"I am not your 'bro'!" Soldier scowled. Daydream sighed and leaned back on her chair, rolling her eyes. She'd heard that like a million times.
"Engie?"
"N-well, I guess alright then, missie."
"Let's get this show started," Daydream muttered. He started singing in a low, quiet voice.
"Everyday when I'm at war,
I think about my family back home,
Oh how I miss them so.
Everyday, remembering my sweet daughter's face,
It makes me sad,
To think that I'll never see them again,
Never to talk with Irene again."
Daydream looked around. Oh God, the others were beginning to feel too. Even Scout was pretending not to be interested. Soldier was sniffling and he kept muttering, "I am not crying! Only girls cry! I am merely crying manly tears!" Daydream rolled her eyes. He never lets go of the girls thing, does he? Daydream turned back to Engineer but he was done by then. She bet that he was glad to have goggles on. Although, it would sting to have your eyes swimming in your own tears. She held up the placard that said, "10 points!"
She glanced at her watch. She needed to get back to writing her other fanfic soon.
"Guys, we need to hurry this up a little. Pyro? Okay, scratch that, I won't understand a single words he says. So...Demo?" Daydream looked at him. He mumbled something and snored.
"Well, he's drunk. So...Spy?" She had been saving best for last. Spy had been just sitting quietly, observing everything. He stood up.
"Very well." He walked confidently up to the stage.
"Ahem." Daydream looked at him dreamily as he spoke. Then, remembering that he could very well see her looking at him like that, she kept a straight face but she still couldn't help giggling. Spy started out with a strong voice...and wow, was he good at singing.
"All night,
Stars shine,
I look at zem,
Wishing upon every one.
Ze peaceful night,
Full of silence,
Nobody's fighting,
I feel alone but secure.
And every night,
I dream,
Of good times..."
Daydream frowned. It seemed so familiar...it sounded like something she'd make up. Wait a second...she glanced at her table. Her notebook was gone! Spies...argh, they were good-looking, but they can be so annoying!
At the end of the song, Daydream didn't want to make a scene so she just stayed at her table, waiting for Spy to return it. As he walked down the stage and past her table, he swiftly placed her notebook on the table.
"Zanks for zee song," he grinned. Daydream couldn't help grinning back. Dang it, he was so hot. She took her notebook and wrote in it, "After everyone's had a turn (well, almost everyone...Demo's drunk and Pyro mumbles unintelligibly but whatever), the rec room goes back to normal." The stage disappeared and so did Daydream's chair and table, causing her to fall backwards with a "Whoa!" She watched as the chairs and couches re-arranged themselves and and the table in the middle re-appeared.
"So...who won?" Scout said eagerly.
"Umm...Engie and Spy came top together. It's a tie for them. Medic's second, you're third, Heavy's fourth," Daydream looked at her notebook. She looked up. Scout wasn't listening. He was now yelling about how he should have been first and all.
"Well! I-" Daydream tried to speak but nobody could hear her over Scout's whining.
"SCOUT, SHUT UP!" she yelled. She could beat anyone at screaming. Scout shut up. Daydream almost giggled, it reminded her of Sonic yelling at Tails to shut up.
"As I was saying, well, it's been really awesome hanging out with you guys but I have to go now. And continue my other fanfic. I must say, it seems boring to write it now compared to this but I have to finish what I started," she sighed. She looked up and saw everyone staring at her, aghast.
"What?" she asked, confused.
"You..." Sniper said slowly, his voice dripping with venom, "You already had another fanfic going and you wanted us to sing just so you could make a second one?!"
"Oh..." Daydream inched backwards to the wall behind her as everyone stepped towards her, except for Demoman (who was drunk and fast asleep on the couch) and Spy (who just stood in the corner, smoking a cigarette with a smirk).
"Well, I think it's time for me to run, bye!" She turned and snapped her fingers but the Rainbow Portal didn't open up. Oh, crap, she needed to write it down! She hurriedly scribbled down, "RAINBOW PORTAL ASAP!" It looked like a huge mess over the page but it was good enough. The Rainbow Portal opened up below her and it closed just as everyone, who had jumped towards Daydream, crashed to the ground.
"So...you guys wanna have a rematch of the singing competition?" Scout asked, moments later.
"Scout..." Everyone growled.
"Uh, okay, bad idea..."
And that was how Soldier ended up chasing Scout, calling him a sissy girl for the rest of the cease-fire.