Title: Never kiss on the lips
Author: xXxXLupicideXxXx
Rating: M
Category: Romance and Angst
Pairings: SveNor, one-sided DenNor and one-sided SuFin.
WARNINGS: Yaoi, human names, barely descriptive and more towards implied/mentioned sex, swearing, mentioned self-harm, pyromaniac-ish type thoughts, suicidal thoughts and no happy ending.
A/N: Felt like writing some Norway… Oh, and in this Denmark and Sweden are brothers.
They didn't just do it from behind; that would've been too simple… Not that it wasn't painfully obvious already. Lukas slept with Berwald because he couldn't have Mathias, and Berwald slept with Lukas because he couldn't have Tino. They'd both fallen in love with straight men, and sought comfort in each other. Yet neither would ever admit it, keeping up this charade to ease their broken hearts. Because to feel wanted, one couldn't hear from the person that they were using that they were only being used in turn. It may have been selfish, but that was how it went… Or maybe that was just Lukas. Just deluding himself with these pathological lies, just as he always did.
I'm not in love with Mathias.
I don't care that he's straight.
He's nothing but an idiot anyway.
I don't think of him every time I sleep with his bror…
No matter how much he lied to everyone, in the end there were always those that he knew where lies. No matter how much he tried to delude himself otherwise.
Burying his face in the crook of the tall Swede's neck, Lukas could hear his heavy breath and his low, rumbling grunts of pleasure, the movement of taut muscle beneath his own fingers and thick scent of sex hanging in the air that made the whole thing seem all the more vulgar. And although the smaller blonde knew it was Berwald who was drawing such pitiful sounds from him, all he could think about was Mathias. Adorable, air-headed, sweet when he thought no one was looking, hot as hell, but completely and heartbreakingly straight Mathias.
But that was precisely why he had to follow the rules. The unspoken, unbreakable and ever present rules that existed between him and Berwald every time they fucked.
-Never kiss on the lips. Because then you'll both know that it's fake…
-When you moan, never form words. Because it might end up being a name, and that name might not belong to the person you are bedding.
-Never even attempt to cuddle. Because that'll just make things a whole fuck load of awkward…
-Never stay the night. Unless you want to look desperate…
-Never fuck some place you'll see again. Because every time you see it, you'll only feel all the guilt and shame for everything you did.
The rules weren't meant to be broken. They could NEVER be broken…Because if they were, then they'd both be alone again.
Lukas never felt the guilt sink in until after Berwald was gone, but the moment the older man left the hotel room was it flooded his senses like ice water. He'd never really liked that feeling, or the one of cold metal slicing through flesh that always seemed to follow. Berwald never said anything about it, but then again he rarely said much about anything… Those feelings were both cold and numb, just like his encounters in hotel rooms with the Swede. It made him want to set the bed on fire. Perhaps he could bleed out on it, as the flames consumed them together? At least then it'd be something warm, like Mathias' smile when directed at him. At least it'd be less painful… He wondered vaguely if the Dane would miss him, or if maybe Berwald might've finally found something to say if he did. The idea of actually feeling something apart from the coldness was tempting, but he had Emil to think about… So for the time being at least, he'd resort to taking everything out on the stupid Dane. Just like he always did.
THE END