AN: Hello and happy 4th day of Ficmas! Today's fic is a oneshot gift to my good friend who agreed to beta a special Christmas 3 shot for me (once I finish it). I actually wrote this originally in a notebook while trying to embrass this same friend during a meeting. She blushed a lot. It was awesome. Warnings follow.

Warning: This fic is a rated M slash fic. It's rated M for a reason, and that reason is two guys getting a bit more intimate than some people are comfortable with. Consider yourself warned.

Enjoy! :)

Eren wasn't entirely sure why Levi insisted he should be the one to clean up the stupid castle all the time. There were plenty of others in the squad who were more than capable of helping, but no. At least once a week, he was subjected to this torture alone. It wouldn't even be so bad if everyone else had to clean by themselves once in a while too, but of course they could usually work in groups of two or three when they had to clean. Unfair.

It was usually punishment too. This time he'd accidentally tripped in the mess hall and managed to spill his food all over the floor. When Levi had approached him – still lying on the ground hoping to become spontaneously invisible – he'd demanded Eren eat the food off the floor. Eren, being the genius he sometimes was, declared the floor too disgusting to eat anything on.

And that's how, to no one's surprise, he was reduced to scrubbing the floors of the entire building by hand.

Having done this so often, Eren was becoming rather efficient. It was barely dusk when he reached the kitchen, the final – and worst – stop. He wandered into the room, handkerchief holding back his hair from his already sweaty forehead and found it already occupied by a pretty brunette girl with kind eyes.

"Hey Eren! Already reached the kitchen, I see." Petra smiled at him.

He smiled back at her and started sweeping. "Yeah. That's what I get for being clumsy I guess. Ha." He finally noticed the bowl in her hands. "Whatcha making?"

"Strawberry vanilla cake." She tilted the bowl toward him, revealing white batter.

"Doesn't look like there's any strawberries in there."

"Yeah, well…Oluo!" She shouted. "Do you have those strawberries yet?"

On cue, the older man walked in from the storeroom. "I got the stupid strawberries, stop nag–!" A spurt of blood exploded out of his mouth.

Petra just walked up and handed him a handkerchief to wipe up the blood, before taking the strawberries. Oluo sat down nursing his wound while Petra cut the strawberries and tossed them into the batter, continuing to mix. "You know," she addressed Eren again, "the corporal isn't really that bad of a guy. He's just a bit…abrasive."

Eren snorted and continued sweeping. "He made me clean the castle because I tripped."

"Well, yeah…"

They slipped into an awkward silence, only broken by the sounds of the broom scraping across the floor and strawberries being cut. Eren had moved onto scrubbing the floor on his hands and knees by the time anyone spoke again. "Oluo, can you get the door?" The two placed the cake in the oven before walking away with a final "good luck, Eren."

They were gone maybe five minutes when a strange popping noise sounded from inside the oven. He looked around, wondering if they were going to come rushing back in. Nothing. Eren took a few tentative steps forward. He was probably just hearing things.

CRACK!

He leapt several feet in the air. That really didn't sound good. Maybe he should just take the cake out of the oven.

And so it was with the best of intentions that Eren walked to the oven, yanked the door open, and pulled out the cake. It was his ultimate undoing.

Having thought something placed into an oven for less than ten minutes couldn't possibly be hot, he grabbed the pan without an oven mitt. The shock caused him to drop the cake. All. Over. The. Floor.

Fuck. And Levi said he was going to check in on him once he'd reached the kitchen. Knowing his luck, the Captain would be in here any –

"Brat. Why is there shit all over the floor?"

Today was really not his lucky day, Eren thought absently as he spun around too fast and fell directly into the batter. He could feel the other's eyebrow twitching at him, so he tried to stand up. Eren grabbed the counter, figuring he could use the help, missed by grabbing the bowl Petra had been mixing with instead. Once more, he lost his balance, flailing as he collapsed back to the ground. The bowl flew in the air, flipped upside down, and in a cruel twist of fate landed directly on his head.

He was in so much trouble.

"I'm sorry sir. It's just that Petra and Oluo were making a cake, and then they left, and then the cake started to pop, and I thought the oven was going to explode, so then I went to check on it, and then –"

"Shut up." Levi effectively cut off the other's babble. "I didn't come down to hear excuses."

"Yes sir. Sorry sir." Eren decided his next plan of action would be to clean up after himself, before he made it any worse. And he would start by taking the bowl off his head. He needed to see to clean anyway.

The boy lifted the bowl off his head, peeking out at Levi, unsure if the Corporal was still in the room. He was. He placed it next to him on the floor, avoiding eye contact with his superior officer, as he gathered himself.

Levi observed all of this emotionlessly. The kid was a disaster; he had cake batter all over his body. It was likely the brat was just going to make a bigger mess trying to fix the one he'd already made.

The Corporal was seriously considering kicking him in the face again – just to really beat in the point – when a small droplet of batter trickled down Eren's bangs and onto his cheek. Levi's eyes widened minutely when the kid's tongue darted out, scooping up the drop in an unintentionally seductive manner. He took a step forward unconsciously.

Eren pushed himself back along the floor, away from the man approaching him. Levi had a look on his face that he'd never seen before, and Eren was positive it meant he was going to be beaten again. He made to try and stand, so as to better back up, but Levi was already there pushing him down.

"You are going to clean every last bit, shithead." And then Levi was on top of him, his lips on Eren's cheek. He didn't mean to do it, but the cake smelled so good, and the brat's eyes were so green. Levi didn't even realise he was licking Eren's cheek until he felt the other's face heat up under his tongue. The shorter man covered his own embarrassment by sealing Eren's lips with his own. His hand snaked up the boy's shirt, pushing the fabric over the other's stomach as he went.

"L-Levi…" Eren stuttered when they broke apart. "Wha-what are you doing?" It wasn't like he didn't want this. Because he very, very much did. But…what if someone walked in?

The older man chose not to answer, instead moving his head down to the brat's pulse point where some of the batter had gathered. Eren cried out the moment Levi's teeth touched his skin. "Shut up, brat. Unless you want someone to hear," he muttered.

Eren didn't listen. Instead he moaned louder. "Levi, st-stop…someone will hear."

"They won't hear if you stop being so loud." He pushed Eren's shirt up higher, absentmindedly noting that it was unfortunate the brat hadn't dropped more on his stomach.

That could be fixed.

Levi scooped up some batter from the floor with his hand – under the assmuption the kid had cleaned it already – and smeared it on the other's skin. There. Problem solved. And if he just happened to get a strawberry on there, then that was just a cherry on top. Or strawberry, in this case.

Eren felt a hot tongue on his stomach, and only then realised he was barely wearing his shirt anymore. He bit his lip to stop any more sound from coming out when Levi's cool fingers hooked around his pants.

"Levi…please…what if someone walks in?" He glanced down, only to see a pair of stern grey eyes glaring up at him.

"Shut up, shithead. And it's corporal to you." The older man smirked. "Or sir, if that's your thing." And with that Levi pulled down Eren's pants, exposing him. "It doesn't really look like you want me to stop."

Levi, still smirking, held down the kid's hips – who was clearly inexperienced and thus unable to contain himself – and blew lightly on his erection, just out of reach. Eren whined desperately, writhing under the other's teasing. "Levi…"

He pressed his nails into the brat's hips. "What did I tell you?"

"Corporal!" Eren gasped, and was rewarded by Levi's mouth closing around his shaft. He was positive his hips were going to break if the older man kept pushing down so hard. Or maybe it was that he was trying too hard to thrust upward.

But it wasn't really his fault. All he could feel was a hot tongue swirling around his shaft and a tickle of hair against his thigh as Levi's mouth moved up and down, up and down. When Eren tried to thrust his hips upward again, Levi broke away, trailing his tongue across the tip. Eren cried out in ecstasy.

The hands which had been holding down his hips disappeared, only to reappear again covering his mouth. "I swear," Levi's voice had dropped to a throaty tone, "if I have to tell you to shut up one more time, I'm going to beat you until you die and deliver your remains to Hanji for testing." Eren swallowed, nervously. "Now, do you want me to continue or not?"

Eren's eyes widened to the point he felt tears prickling in their corners as he nodded profusely. "Then keep it down." Levi let his head drop back down. He took Eren in his mouth once again, dragging his tongue down the shaft as he returned to what he was doing before. Eren gave a half-hearted buck upward with his hips, only to be rewarded with the return of the iron-like grip on them.

The heat of Levi's mouth on his erection was the best thing Eren had ever felt in his life. He'd thought of doing this before, dreamed about it countless times, but this time it was real.

Was it real? God, he hoped so. He wasn't sure what he would do if he woke up and found it was just a dream. Again.

Right then, Levi twisted his head, his tongue hitting Eren at a different angle. It took all his strength to keep himself quiet. This was definitely happening; there was no way he'd imagined that.

And he was getting close. So, so, close.

As Levi thought, the kid didn't seem to be able to last much longer. Eren was a sweating, writhing mess beneath him, using all his energy to stay quiet. And as much as Levi wanted to torture him, he wasn't sure the brat could handle it. Not this time. Just this once – and really only this one time – he could be nice.

Levi loosened his grip, allowing the other some freedom of movement. It took a moment for the brat to realise he wasn't being held down anymore, but once he did, he gave a shaky jerk upward. Then another. A few more thrusts brought Eren to completion with a strangled moan, before he collapsed, boneless, on the ground.

The kid lay panting as Levi sat up. Eren was breathing hard, looking like he'd just run a marathon. It occurred to the older man that this was probably the first time Eren had ever gone further than a kiss on the cheek with someone before. The thought of it almost brought a smile to his face. Good. He was the kid's first. Somehow, that seemed right.

"I'm sorry," Eren mumbled when his breathing finally slowed down.

"For what?"

Green eyes opened. "I should've warned you before I…" The kid blushed. "You know…That can't have tasted good."

Levi paused a moment. "Don't worry about it so much, brat." He pushed himself up off the floor, looking around at the mess they'd made. Eren was going to have a hell of a time cleaning it all up. Oh well. "I want this whole kitchen spotless by dinner time. And don't even think you can get out of it because of what just happened." He walked toward the door, prepared to leave the now thoroughly confused kid on the ground. Then one last thought occurred to him. "Be sure to apologize to Petra for ruining her cake."

Eren gaped wordlessly as the man who had just given him his first blow job walked out of the room. His muscles felt like jelly, his pants were in a crumpled heap around his ankles, and he was expected to clean up? Unfair. The whole thing was unfair. He sat up, tugging his pants as he went, and was about to get to work when a scream sounded through the kitchen.

Anxiously, Eren turned his head to the door Levi had just disappeared through. Sure enough, Petra was standing there with a horrified expression on her face. "What happened?! Did you do this?!" He wasn't sure he'd ever heard her raise her voice – or speak so shrilly – before.

"Uh…I'm really sorry. I'm just going to clean it up now…"

"How could this have possibly happened?" She stomped toward him, a genuine look of anger in her eyes.

He stumbled to find words. "I'm…um…really sorry. I can help you with a new one…"

"I asked how this happened." She had now reached him and was glaring down, hands on her hips.

"Um…" It wasn't like he could tell her the truth. "Levi came in…and…" Speaking in general wasn't going well.

But it seemed he'd said the right thing. Her eyes softened. "Oh. Well it's ok." She reached down and helped him to his feet. "Just make sure to clean it up before he comes back." He couldn't believe how kind Petra was. He'd spilled all over the floor, ruining her cake and making a mess, and here she was telling him it would be alright.

"Yeah. I will. Definitely."

She gave him a small smile, walking back toward the door. Just as she reached it, she turned to him again. "And one more thing, Eren." Her smile changed into a knowing grin. "That large red mark on your neck? You might want to cover it before someone sees."

Eren could swear he heard her laugh as she disappeared, leaving him blushing and spluttering in her wake.