Hey there! Thank you so much for clicking on the link to this! This will be a collection of RoyxEd oneshots and drabbles ranging from fluff to angst to humor, etc etc etc. That's right: RoyxEd. If you don't like it, don't read it plzkthx.

DISCLAIMER: I don't own Fullmetal Alchemist. If I did Roy, Ed and Al would have the middle names I have given them.

I have one thing to say about this one: don't slam my choices of middle names! I happen to like them for the character I've assigned them to so please just leave it be if you don't like them.

"Edward Nathan Elric."

Edward froze and slowly turned around to face Colonel Roy Mustang, golden eyes narrowed. "What did you say?" The blonde asked through gritted teeth.

"Edward Nathan Elric." The dark haired alchemist said making sure to put an emphasis on the boy's middle name.

"Don't call me that!" Edward shouted, face turning red both out of rage and embarrassment. "Nobody said you could use my middle name, Bastard!"

"No one needs to give me permission, Ed," Roy said coolly, "it's implied as a right that comes with our relationship."

"What the hell are you talking about?" Edward asked his lover, "And…how the hell do you know what it is?!"

"Your record, Edward." The Colonel swiftly withdrew a manila folder from a stack on his desk, "I have access to all your information remember?" He smirked as he held the boy's file above his head, just out of Ed's reach, like a non-verbal short joke.

Fullmetal stood on his tiptoes reaching out, desperately trying to grasp the file. "That's none of your damn business!" He finally snatched his record from Roy's hands and stuffed it into his pocket.

"Why don't you like it?" The older alchemist asked.

"Like what?"

"Your middle name. If you didn't hate it so much, you wouldn't be making such a big deal out of the situation." Roy pointed out.

Edward stood there for a moment, mouth slightly open. "I don't hate it." He mumbled. "I just don't like it."

"Well I happen to think it's beautiful." Roy said, stroking Ed's cheek with his finger.

Ed's face turned scarlet. "Shut up."

"Edward Nathan…" Mustang repeated the name for the third time. "It's a lot better than mine."

"What is your middle name anyway?" Edward inquired, his face cooling down a bit. "I don't think I've ever heard it before. You know mine, so I should know yours. Equivalent exchange and all…"

Roy sighed as he shifted uncomfortably in his seat. "You and equivalent exchange…"

"Well it's only fair! Tell me what it is!" Edward bounced excitedly.

"Maybe another time, Ed." Roy said, quickly busying himself with paperwork to avoid answering the question.

"Roy!" The blonde's eyebrows furrowed. "Tell me!"

"Ed, I've got a huge stack of paperwork and Hawkeye's going to shoot me-."

"Tell me what it is!" The blonde demanded.

"No, Edward. I'll tell you when I feel like it." Roy firmly stated.

"But that's not fair!" Ed protested. "You can just go and read mine in some stupid file! I have to try and pry yours out of you!"

The Colonel shrugged nonchalantly. "I don't know what to tell you, kiddo."

"You can tell me your middle name, Bastard!" Edward growled, fists clenching. "And don't call me 'kiddo'!!"

"Oh, let me rephrase that then. I don't know what to tell you, Edward Nathan!"

"Stop it!" Ed stomped his foot on the ground. "Fine! If you won't tell me, then….then I just give up!" The Fullmetal Alchemist turned on his heel and marched out of Mustang's office.

Roy watched his door slam shut, smirking.

5…

4…

3…

2…

The door banged open again, allowing Edward to storm back into the room.

"Okay, so I don't give up. But mark my words Mustang! I will find out your middle name!"

"Oh really?" Roy raised a dark eyebrow.

"Yes, because I've got a new strategy." In one swift motion, Edward hopped over Roy's desk and seated himself on the edge, legs kicking back and forth. He put on a sweet face as he asked, "Tell me your middle name?"

"…no." Roy answered slowly, making sure he wasn't falling for any tricks.

Edward jumped off the desk and slid into Roy's lap. "Please?"

Roy almost lost his train of thought. "..N-no. No, Ed!"

"You know you want to." The blonde whispered in Roy's ear, running his hands down his chest.

"Hmm…" Roy hummed. "Well there is something I want to do…" He licked his lips.

"That wouldn't happen to be telling me your middle name would it?" Ed asked, pressing his forehead against Roy's.

"Not quite ..." Roy said, closing the distance between the two of them.

Ed slipped his arms around Roy's neck as the man pulled him even closer; their lips pressed together in a fiery kiss.

"Tell me." Edward mumbled between breaths.

"..uman." Roy barely uttered before going in for another kiss.

The blonde pulled away from him. "Didn't catch that."

The Colonel turned a light shade of pink as he looked away from his lover. "Truman."

Ed tried to hold back a giggle but wasn't successful. "Truman?"

"Yes, my middle name is Truman, okay?!" Roy half shouted. "Happy?"

The boy erupted into full laughter. "Truman! Roy Truman Mustang!"

"It's not funny Edward!" Roy roared.

"I thought it'd be something suave and sophisticated like the rest of you. But Truman…" Ed held his sides as he had another giggle fit.

Roy frowned deeply. He had had enough. "Out."

"I'm sorry." Edward said. "But I…hehe…Roy Truman…"

"Out! Get out of my office!" The Colonel jumped to his feet and began shoving the blonde out the door. "I'll deal with you later Edward Nathan!"

But unfortunately for Roy, Edward didn't care about how horrible his middle name was anymore; Ed had discovered he could be much worse off.

"See ya..Roy Truman!" He cackled. Ed clutched his sides while another episode of uncontrollable laughter came about as he stumbled into the outer office.

----

I thought it'd be cool to give Roy the name Truman because Truman was a president and Roy wants to be Fuhrer. Good thinking, no?

--DDH