Once upon a time, in a dark, forsaken land, there lived two gay men. Both of them great and terrible warriors.
Gaara, a very powerful ninja, decided that he was too weak, and stole all the sand in the desert.
Sasgay was a ninja housewife living in a small suburb in Antarctica, a town called Crackheadville. All the girls in the town adored him, but he was gay.
One winter day, Gaara became bored as hell, so he took to the skies and flew to Antarctica for vacation. He went to the small peaceful town of Crackheadville.
When he arrived after hours of levitation, one very rude soul pushed him forcefully into the cold snow.
"This is a mean and cold town. I hate this fucking place." Gaara said, crying.
Sasgay yelled, "Stop demon!!" as he saw the rude soul push this very very handsome man into the snow. The man ran away with fear. Sasgay ran up to Gaara, pulled him to his feet, and spoke in his most seductive voice. "Hello there sexy. I'm Sasgay."
Gaara's eyes light up with joy. This man who helped him, he…he..he was so hott. "Hello Sasuke-"
"No no," interrupted Sasgay. "It's Sasgay."
"Oh, my apologies." Replied Gaara. "But I must say, I want you, I want you so bad." He winked.
Sasgay blushed and said to his newly found lover, "You wanna come back to my place… for a 'sleepover'?"
Gaara smiled. "Indeed I do!"
Sasgay lead Gaara to his apartment. "My husband, Mickadaz, is working right now," he said. "So no one is home."
"Good" said Gaara with a smug look on his face.
Sasgay lead him in through the front door, gripping him tightly around the wrist. "Come, I'll show you around."
"That won't be necessary." Gaara said, and pushed Sasgay against the wall, pressed his lips against Sasgay's. Gaara's hands ran down his lovers back, moving slowly down. Sasgay ripped off Gaara's shirt with great strength, and was amazed at his perfectly formed six-pack. Gaara stuck his tongue in Sasgay's mouth, his hands running down his pants. Suddenly, Gaara stopped, and sniffed the air.
"What the hell is that horrid stench?"
Sasgay replied, frowning. "Mickadaz must've soiled on the computer again." He shook his head in shame, embarrassed by what his husband had done. "But don't worry, he only does it on Wednesdays and special occasions."
Gaara grinned. "Aw, that's okay. I do not care about soiled computers. All I care about is fucking you." And with that said, he THREW Sasgay to the ground and leaped onto him. He removed his top with care and ran his hands gently down his extremely chiseled six-pack.
Sasgay undid Gaara's pants, and they began to roll, fighting for the top.
With their lips touching, their tongues joined as one, they rolled into objects such as a table, a china cabinet, and finally a bookcase. They collided with it SO hard, that Sasgay's largest and heaviest dictionary fell off the highest shelf onto the top of his head; and from this dilemma, Sasgay was knocked unconscious.
Gaara gasped "What the shit fuck?! Sasgay are you alright?!"
Sasgay didn't say a word he just laid there, limp as a bone fish.
Gaara got up and ran to the kitchen; he grabbed some ice cold water and poured it on Sasgay's head.
Sasgay awoke, stunned, lightheaded and dizzy. "Gaara," he said, trying to sit upright. "Gaara, I'm so cold."
Gaara answered him smiling. "That's because I splashed you with ice cold water. But my smokin' hott body can warm you up." He lightly touched Sasgay's wet, cold face, and pressed his lips against his once more. Sasgay rolled on top of Gaara and took off his pants, he was about to remove his undergarments, but stopped. "You wear tighty-whities?" Sasgay asked him, raising one eyebrow.
"No…." Gaara quickly replied to Sasgay.
"Um… I can see them. Your pants are off."
"I do not wear tighty-whities… they're briefs, okay?!" Gaara snapped.
"Alright then." Sasgay smiled. "May I remove your 'briefs' then?"
Gaara laughed. "Go right ahead."
Sasgay ripped off his "briefs" with more of his great strength and grabbed his dick. "Wow," he said. "You have a great big package."
"Damn right!" Gaara smirked.
Gaara undid Sasgay's pants, he threw them off and noticed that he was wearing a banana hammock.
"Okay… you were teasing my briefs, but look at what you're wearing."
Sasgay pinched Gaara's bum. "I'm a housewife… it's a requirement." "Oh yes, of course. How foolish of me." Gaara replied sarcastically while taking off his thong or whatever the hell it was.
Sasgay giggled. "It's true."
Gaara placed his index finger on Sasgay's lip. "Shhh." He said as he rolled on top.
Sasgay kissed Gaara's neck, his right hand glided down his upper thigh, and his left hand brushed through his hair.
Gaara's lips skimmed Sasgay's right ear, and his teeth lightly bit his ear lobe.
Sasgay sat up, getting on his hands and knees when the front door flung open.
"Honey, I'm home!" Called this greasy haired midget.
"Oh shit!" Sasgay whispered. "It's Mickadaz."
Gaara looked horrified. "What are we going to do?!"
Footsteps began to walk down the hall towards the room they were in. "I got off work early today. Isn't that great?! Now we can finally talk about adopting that baby we always wanted."
Gaara looked at Sasgay, "You guys are adopting a baby?" He asked half laughing.
"This is the first time I heard that plan." Sasgay replied, giving a little laugh too.
"Who are you talking to?" Mickadaz asked as he entered the room. And when he saw the two naked men, a wide smile spread across his fat face. "Oh ho ho! So we're getting nude are we?" He ripped off his shirt, only to reveal large man boobs and an obese figure.
Gaara looked at Mickadaz and then looked back at Sasgay "That's your husband?!"
Sasgay frowned. "I was high when I agreed. And this town is so scarce of gay men, it isn't even funny."
Gaara started to laugh uncontrollably and Sasgay soon joined him. "I know, he's so gross and fat!" Sasgay managed to say through the laughter.
Mickadaz filled up with rage as his only husband teased his weight, knowing very well that it wasn't his fault.
Sasgay and Gaara began to jump and dance around, chanting, "Fatty! Fatty! Fatty Mc Fat Fat!"
Mickadaz marched up to Sasgay, "Now listen here, bitch, you're mine, and you will listen to me! So stop calling me fat!" He then pimp slapped him across the face, sending him flying across the room.
Gaara glared at Mickadaz angrily. He ran, quick as lightening, and readied himself to punch him.
Mickadaz turned swiftly, and grabbed Gaara's fist, and tossed it aside. He spun around and yelled, "WooTie Poibuytoo KIE!!" His fat began to glow fluorescent green, and formed a fist. With great force, it punched Gaara, sending him soaring backward until he smashed through the wall.
Mickadaz anger was still great. "I will have my revenge!!"
Sasgay snuck quietly up behind his husband, and yelled in his ear, "REVENGE RESMENGE!!"
He became deaf in one ear for ten seconds, giving Sasgay enough time to see if Gaara was okay.
"Gaara! Gaara!" Sasgay leaped through the body-shaped hole in the wall. Gaara lay in the debris, motionless. He knelt down beside him, and held his face in his hands. "Gaara," he whispered gently. "It's me. Wake up Gaara." Tears swelled up in his eyes, as he held his nude body close to Gaara's. "I love you."
Suddenly, Sasgay felt a heavy object strike the back of his head, sending him falling on top of Gaara knocked out.
Mickadaz laughed evilly and said, "Haha, I do not think so."
Gaara's eyes flew open. Sasgay was laying next to him, with blood dripping from the back of his head, both of them were still naked. The room they were in was completely white, with no furniture, no pictures, just white.
Sasgay began to stir.
Gaara knelt down, picking his head off the ground and resting it on his leg. His arms were wrapped around him. "Sasgay. Sasgay are you alright?"
Sasgay's eyes fluttered open. He spoke, but his voice was weak and course. "You know damn right…"
Gaara gave him a half smile. "No I do not know damn right, or I wouldn't have asked."
"Enough of this chit-chat." Said Mickadaz whose voice came out of nowhere. "Now it is time for you two hoes to die. Would you like to know your death?" he paused only briefly, then continued. "I have farted in a giant tank, and I'm going to release the gas into this room where you both are trapped." Another pause. "All this can be avoided, if you Sasgay will come back to me."
Sasgay laughed. "Ah ha ha ha! I would sooner die by a fart, then be with you the rest of my days."
Pause. "So be it."
Instead of his voice through the microphone, The Pussy Cat Dolls "Buttons" whistled through the air.
Mickadaz was singing to himself in the background thinking nobody could hear him. Then, with the press of a button, a puke green gas was released into the atmosphere.
"Sasgay," Gaara said with tears in his eyes. "I have never fucked anyone like you."
"Gaara," Sasgay replied. "Neither have I."
They embraced each other one last time, then perished by the stench.
THE END