Title: Happy Birthday Bakura!

Authors: Marika and Wayfarer

Rating: PG13

Disclaimer: I don't own Bakura's birthday

Summary: Well duh, it's Bakura's birthday.

"So... today went by without much consequence. By that I mean, nothing out of the ordinary happened, you know?"

"Yeah, you're still the same little weakling you were when I met you."

"Bakura you can be so mean sometimes!" Ryou sighed, but continued his story. "So I wasn't expecting anything, and nothing happened."

"...you're such a rotten liar." Bakura scowled and shook his head. "Tell me what happened this time, or I'll pick the information out of your head."

"But... but Bakura, it's embarrassing!" The little boy stammered, his cheeks flushing with the thoughts of the strange gifts his friends had given him at school.

The tomb robber didn't even bother saying any more. With a small motion of his hand, he had already zipped open the backpack to see what was inside.

It didn't happen often, but there were rare times when the thief king could barely contain his laughter. This would be one of those times.

"B-Bakura!" The younger boy exclaimed, snatching back his backpack and the odd contents inside.

A sly grin spread across Bakura's face, though his words remained as serious as ever. "Explain. Now."

Seeing no way out of it, Ryou sighed. "Well, it all started this morning when I was walking in the hall, just before class..."

::FLASHBACK::

"Hey, Ryou, what's up?" Anzu asked, all smiling and looking like nothing was wrong. "How's your morning been so far?"

Now Anzu was always nice to me, but today she seemed extra nice. After living with YOU for a while, I grew suspicious of this...

::ENDFLASHBACK::

Bakura folded his arms and grinned.

"Heh, stop dawdling and keep telling the story."

"I will if you don't interrupt me. Now where was I... Anzu..."

::FLASHBACK::

Anyway, so she asked me how my morning had been, and I said, "Things are going fine, same as usual..."

Then she sorta looked me in the eyes and smiled more, but instead of looking friendly, she seemed sorta scary.

"Same as usual, huh?" She asked. "But I thought today was a special day..."

"Special?" I replied. "No, not really. Just a day..."

Anzu looked a little crestfallen, but she still continued to say stuff. She almost looked confused.

She said, "But isn't today... oh... I thought it was your birthday today, isn't it?"

I was really surprised that someone remembered. So surprised, actually, that I tripped over my shoelaces and nearly fell to the floor! Good luck for me, I somehow fixed my feet in the nick of time.

"Ho... How did you know?" I asked. I must have looked embarrassed, because she sort of giggled like girls always do. Then she stuck out her tongue and winked.

"Your friends wouldn't forget your birthday, would they?"

I felt really happy suddenly, and a little sad. I had no idea when her birthday was... Some friend I am, right?

"I guess not..." I told her. Before I said anything else, she pulled out a small parcel from her bag. It was a little pinker that I would have liked, and it took me a while to wash the sparkles off of my hands, but it was from Anzu so I couldn't decline it...

She gave me this little present, and I thought, 'Wow, I'm getting a birthday present! It's probably cookies or new cards or something...'

"Oh, this is too much, Anzu," I told her. "You shouldn't have gotten me anything!"

"It's nothing at all, really," she said with another wink, which made me think that maybe she had something in her eye. A stray sparkle from the packaging, perhaps. "Go on, open it! I want to see what you think!"

Sounded harmless enough.

"Okay. Here I go..."

I opened the package to reveal... a thong...

::ENDFLASHBACK::

"Bwahahaha," Bakura laughed, unable to contain his laughter. He rummaged through Ryou's backpack again, because Ryou decided not to fight against the evil spirit. He pulled out the tiny black thong, stretching it between his fingers with a wide grin.

"It's not funny!" Ryou blushed. "Please put that back.."

"That ANZU girl gave this to you?" Bakura chuckled, setting it back in the bag after messing with it for a minute. "Better make sure it isn't already used..."

"EEW, don't say things like that!" Ryou covered his ears, just to have Bakura pull his hands away.

"Okay, okay, calm down, little host," Bakura cooed, slinging an arm friendly-like over Ryou's shoulder and pulling the boy in closer as they sat on the couch of their small apartment. "I bet your white face was all red. All you would have had to do was call me in, and I would have punished her for you--."

"Oh, nonono!" Ryou blushed as Bakura whispered deviously into his ear. "I won't have you sending my friends to any shadow realm. That isn't the worst thing I got today..."

"Oh?" Bakura rummaged through Ryou's bag again, pulling out a pair of fishnet stockings. "Who gave you these? It's not so bad..."

"I, I, Well...," Ryou stammered. "It happened right after first class, when Jonouchi came over and sat next to me during the break..."

::FLASHBACK::

"Yo Ryou, what's going on?" Jonouchi called to me, waving me over to the bench he was sitting on. "Come have a seat with me! There's still some time before class."

"Hi Jonouchi, not much is happening." I responded, not really surprised that he was stalling. For some reason, Jonouchi never gets to class on time. Before I could think about it any more, he interrupted my thoughts.

"So how's your day been so far?" He asked, a small grin on his face as always.

"Well umm... same as usual, except Anzu..." I couldn't finish my sentence. Just the thought of what she had given me made me blush fiercely.

Unfortunately for me, Jonouchi noticed.

::ENDFLASHBACK::

"Of course he noticed. When you blush, that pasty pale face of yours becomes redder than your ass after..." Bakura murmured casually, smacking Ryou's butt and squeezing lightly.

"B-Bakura! Please! I'm trying to tell a story!" Ryou squirmed a bit, dancing out of Bakura's reach.

Bakura, feeling a little too lazy to get off the couch, merely waved his hand. "Later then. Continue with your story."

"Thank you. So anyway..."

::FLASHBACK::

Jonouchi noticed and I could swear that his grin grew. It almost reminded me of YOUR creepy grin. "What did Anzu do to you Ryou? I find it hard to believe she was giving you a hard time."

"N-no she wasn't! Anzu is my friend, she would never..." I trailed off, trying to think of the best way to explain things.

"... well she was just trying to be nice, I'm sure. She gave me something and..."

But before I could say any more, Jonouchi's expression brightened, as if a lightbulb had been turned on in his head. "Oh that reminds me! I've got something for you too."

"Really? Thanks but I..." Again, he cut me off.

He fished an object out of his pocket, wrapped in yesterday's newspaper. The obituary section to be precise. "Happy Birthday Ryou."

I took his gift, cautiously shaking it. To tell you the truth, I didn't know what to expect from his gift. If ANZU had given me that... that thing... then what would Jonouchi have planned?

"It's not gonna blow up on ya or anything. You can open it." He laughed, patting me on the back.

"Ok... thank you Jonouchi..." I told him, as I ripped open the newspapaer. If my face wasn't beet red before, it certainly was after that!

"Well, whatdya know? Looks like we're late to class!" He said, getting up suddenly, and leaving me on the bench with these black fishnet stockings.

::ENDFLASHBACK::

"...and that's how you got THESE..." Bakura muttered, still stretching the black stockings between his hands.

"Ah, well...," Ryou plucked the stockings lightly away, "It's not as weird as what happened next."

Bakura began to play with Ryou's hair absentmindedly. "And just what would that be?"

Ryou rolled his eyes nervously, pulling a long, black box out of his backpack. Technically, this box should not have fit in the bag, but for the miracle of imagination, it did its best!

"What's in this?" Bakura asked, calmly curious. Ryou allowed him to pull off the lid and toss it uselessly to the side.

Bakura raised his eyebrows suspiciously. Ryou looked away.

"Okay, who gave this one?"

"Well, that's..."

::FLASHBACK::

Kaiba walked up as soon as Jonouchi walked away. He was as cold as usual, you know, with that stare of his, and he never ever says hello like a normal person... But anyway, I noticed that he watched Jonouchi walk out the door before he even looked down at me. I figured he wouldn't say anything, because we don't really talk all that much...

Anyway, he looked down at me and just, well, kinda stared at me for a second. It made me feel a little nervous, so I told him, "Hello. Nice day, isn't it?"

He sorta went, "Hmm," like he was avoiding saying anything at all. I thought, 'well, maybe I shouldn't have tried to talk to him,' but then he did something unexpected.

He turned around so I couldn't see, and he opened up his briefcase, because he IS a CEO and carries around a briefcase.. And as he turned back around, he dropped this big, long box on my desk! It was wrapped all nice and professional looking, like he had it done at the store. There was even a tiny little card on it, in the shape of a Blue Eyes, of course.

Kaiba gave me something of a smile, which scared me even more than his silent staring. After seeing Anzu and Jonouchi's weird presents, I didn't even begin to ponder what in the world KAIBA would give as a gift. I wondered if it was for someone else, until he said to me, "Happy Birthday."

But that was it. He left, rather briskly walking out of the same door that Jonouchi had just walked through, into the hallway. By now, people in class were looking at me sort of strangely, so I waited until they stopped before I took a look at the little card (all it said was 'happy birthday from KC', like a business card), and dared to unwrap the pristine paper wrapping.

Of course, I found these on the inside of the box. I still don't know how he fit a pair of knee-high lace-up leather boots in his tiny briefcase, but I really don't think I'll ever ask him...

::ENDFLASHBACK::

"My my, what a talented CEO." Bakura ran his fingers along the expensive soft leather. "So Ryou, did your little escapade end there? Or did your other little friends have something for you?"

Ryou sighed. "I almost WISH it would have ended there, but..."

::FLASHBACK::

I hid everything in my backpack during class, and didn't dare to look at them. Not until now really. But even so, I couldn't get them off my mind. Why were my friends giving me these weird things? I've never even seen half of them before!

Am I just incredibly naive?

As I was thinking these thoughts, Honda walked up to me. "Hey Ryou, what're you doing, still sitting in your desk? You'll be late to your next class! C'mon, let's go together."

"Oh, I'm sorry, I was just thinking." I followed him to class and sat down in my proper seat, but even though he technically sat across the room, he continued to stand next to me. And he was silent. Very very creepy.

"Ryou." He finally said. It seemed like he was debating something inside his mind, the way the beads of sweat dripped down his face, the small, held back flush growing just above his cheeks, and the way he tried to control the breathing of his manly, muscled chest...

::ENDFLASHBACK::

"Ick ick, enough with the overdramatic descriptions of your friend." Bakura cringed just thinking about it. Then, as he continued to think about it, he added with a glare, "He had BETTER just be your friend."

"Fine fine, yes he is." The little hikari sighed. "Bakura, would you please let me finish?"

Seeing no opposition from his yami, Ryou continued. "So anyway, he was uncomfortable..."

::FLASHBACK::

It made me really nervous to see him like that. It was just like everyone else, only... more pronounced. "Ryou, umm... happy birthday." Not saying any more, he handed me a wrapped present. Definitely one of the most horridly ugly wrapping jobs I had ever seen, but I could tell that he really tried.

With a quick glance around the room, I opened up his gift. That was no easy task, I'll have you know, he made up for his poor wrapping with lots and lots of tape. And then, when I finally got through all those barriers I found this... mysterious bottle of chocolate.

However on closer expection, I noticed just WHAT the chocolate was supposed to be used for, and hid it away in my bag with everything else!

::ENDFLASHBACK::

"Yum. Chocolate body paint... we'll have to use that later." Bakura licked the tip of the chocolatey bottle suggestively.

However, all suggestion was lost on his innocent little host.

Ignoring Bakura entirely and searching through his bag, almost happily, Ryou grabbed at something from the bottom of the backpack and pulled it up out of the depths with a smile.

"I almost forgot this one!" Ryou exclaimed happily. "Yugi handed this to me. It's not really my style, but it's not all that bad, compared to everyone else's..."

Bakura grabbed at the object, clutching the tiny thing in his fist. He was not at all happy.

"That blasted PHARAOH gave this to you?!" Bakura growled. "We should set it on fire! Immediately! Ryou, light the stove--."

"NO, stop that!" Ryou cried out, reaching for the small gift. "It's a nice gift, even if I won't ever wear it. It's just like Yugi to give me something like that.."

Bakura stopped threatening the gift, staring at it a second, glancing back and forth between his host and the object.

"Well," Bakura admitted with a glare, "It would still look good on you... You'll just never wear it in public, because I don't want that Pharaoh to think you actually appreciate anything he gives to you--."

"Don't be so mean to him," Ryou pouted. "It's not like he's ever done anything."

"Not that YOU know of," Bakura frowned at his host. He set the present on the couch at his side, leaning in closer to Ryou.

Ryou let the spirit nuzzle his neck with a growl. "But tell me, under what circumstances did the Pharaoh corner you and force you to take his gift?"

"He didn't force me," Ryou sighed, letting Bakura peck at his lips a little. The casual snuggling seemed to calm the thief down somewhat. "Now, this is what happened. It was lunchtime..."

::FLASHBACK::

I was sitting alone outside because, for some reason, I couldn't find anyone to sit with. All my friends had up and disappeared, but after all the weird gifts I'd been given, I don't know if I could look any of them in the face anyway! It was going to be a nice, calm lunch, until Yugi showed up.

"Hey Ryou," he said sitting down next to me. He was smiling and friendly, really normal except that he came alone. "Happy Birthday!"

"Thank you," I said, because really, what else could I say? "It's nothing all that special, really, but everyone's been remembering, anyway. I've never had so many people remember my birthday in one year before! It's a little exciting."

"Oh?" Yugi said with a laugh. "Why would your friends forget your birthday? It IS a special day, you know. Everyone deserves some fun on their birthday."

We talked the entire lunchbreak about other things, which was nice, even if it was a little different than usual without anyone else there. Not even Jonouchi or Anzu, and Yugi is always with them! But it was at the end of lunch that he gave me the present..

"Oh, I almost forgot!" he said, just before we all had to hurry back inside. "It's your present. Open it."

I felt really, really nervous, but I smiled and tried to act normal.

"Okay, sure," I told him. But my heart kept telling me, 'No, don't do it! It'll be weird!' I almost thought you were talking to me, but then I realized you wouldn't say anything like that--."

::ENDFLASHBACK::

"You're damn straight," Bakura cussed at the memory of the day. "I'd say something more along the lines of, 'Let me at him!,' or, 'That pharaoh's so DEAD!'"

"Bakura, stop getting angry!" Ryou cried, wrapping his arms around his dark side. "Just let me finish the story, okay...?"

"Fine, fine..."

"As I was saying..."

::FLASHBACK::

I opened the wrapping. It was sorta neat, and it had little card monsters all over it, so I knew it was Yugi and not Yami that had wrapped it. I opened the little box and pulled out a choker necklace that looked strikingly like the one that Yugi was wearing...

He asked me, "Do you like it? I really couldn't figure out anything you like, and the other me thought that maybe you looked like the person to wear this sort of thing, though I really don't know if you would..."

"Oh, it's nice," I told him truthfully. "I'll wear it around, really. It looks sort of like yours."

Then Yugi began to giggle. I didn't say anything, but it reminded me suddenly of Anzu from this morning. At least he wasn't winking at me. I took that as a good sign.

"You really think so?" He asked, with a twinkle in his eye that even I thought was strange, but I don't know why. "Other me thought it looked good on me, so he thought, maybe... you wanted to--."

Before he could finish, the teachers were signaling to go inside. He looked a little nervous, though not at all nervous like Honda was. He ran off and said goodbye. I wonder what he was trying to say...

::ENDFLASHBACK::

"You wonder what the fuck he was trying to say..." Bakura cursed underneath his breath. He knew EXACTLY what that damned pharaoh was trying to say! "God damn that bastard pharaoh! Ryou, promise me you're not going to let him fuck you! If you even THINK about it..."

"W-what?! Bakura I don't know what you're talking about!" The light haired boy cried, shocked that his yami was angry again all of a sudden. He could only assume that it was because he was still talking about Yugi. "W-well my day didn't end with Yugi, I saw another friend of ours too!"

"...ours?" Bakura asked, his curiosity suddenly piqued. "You don't mean..."

"Malik stopped by too. He says hello." Ryou said cautiously, happy that Bakura wasn't yelling at him anymore. As the spirit calmed down, Ryou again embraced him, lightly trailing his fingers up and down Bakura's back to calm the spirit even more.

"What the hell is Malik doing here? He's supposed to be in Egypt." Bakura growled, subconsciously relaxing in his hikari's grasp.

"Well, that's the surprise! He moved here for a while! And he's attending my school too!" Ryou beamed, genuinely happy with the thought. "He's in every one of my classes too, most of the time! What are the odds of that? I feel so lucky!"

"Lucky? To have THAT little slut around?! You know what he's trying to do right?! You think it's a coincidence that he's in all your classes? He's..." Bakura paused suddenly, mid-rant. "...wait a minute. If Malik is here, that means that he gave you something too, didn't he?"

"Uhh... what? I mean... no of course he didn't.. he just..." Ryou stammered.

"You're a terrible liar, you know that?" Bakura lightly pushed his hikari aside and began to rummage through Ryou's backpack. "Let's see... nope, we've seen these... collar, shoes, thong, ... oh what have we here??"

Ryou tried to cover his face with his hands, embarrassed with the last item inside his backpack.

"And just how did you get THIS?" Bakura smirked, already exploring the material with delight.

Seeing as he was stuck, Ryou could only explain. "Well... he really took his time..."

::FLASHBACK::

In fact, he watched the entire day as I went through my classes, he watched me open all those presents. I didn't know that at the time, he told me later. Which is a little creepy to think about now, but whatever, it's Malik.

So anyway, after our last class, he finally came up to me and grinned, that devilish little grin that I think he learned from you. And then he HUGGED me right in front of everybody! Right on the front steps of the school! I... I was so shocked that I barely heard him talking. In fact, all I remember him saying was something like...

"...same classes! I'm amazing aren't I? Well Ryou, I can tell you're a busy boy. And that dark half of yours won't want to wait much longer for you to get back home, so I'll make it short. Happy Birthday!" Then he handed me a questionable looking bag. It was one of those dark kinds, you know, the kind that you can't see what's inside. And since it was MALIK, I had my suspicions.

"Malik... I think you know that my day's been very... strange. Please tell me, is this safe to open here?" I asked him as quietly as I could.

"What do you mean is it safe to open here? Of course it's safe! It's not gonna bite you or anything. Go ahead, I wanna see what you think of my gift! You know, it took me a long time to pick out just the right thing for you." Malik said, casually flipping back his light hair.

None the wiser, I pulled his gift out of the bag, still folded inside some tissue paper. But when I removed the paper, and found.... THAT.... I... I....

::ENDFLASHBACK::

"You what?" Bakura questioned, already fingering the black lace and leather bustier. "Malik has good taste... as usual."

"...I broke down on the steps and cried." Ryou murmured shamefully.

"You what?!!" Bakura exclaimed again, ashamed to be sharing a body with such a pathetic weakling.

::FLASHBACK::

Malik was really surprised too. He helped me get all my things together and walked me back here.

"Are you ok Ryou? I'm sorry...I didn't know you hated bustiers so much." He actually sounded sorry when he said this, which is somewhat unusual for him.

"No no, it's not that... it's just... well everyone has been giving me these strange things today, and I don't know if they are just mocking me or something. Does everyone see me as a cheap whore?"

He smiled then, and hugged me close again. "No Ryou, that's not it at all. Leave the promiscuity up to me, ok?" He winked and picked up my bag, carrying it for me.

"Then... then why..." I asked, confused then as I still am now.

"You'll see why in a little bit," was the only thing he would say about the matter. After that, we talked about school and other stuff that Malik wasn't familiar with. And then when we got back...

::ENDFLASHBACK::

"...He slunk off so you could have some quality time with yours truly," Bakura stated, almost like an afterthought. Ryou nodded.

"Yea, he said he would stop by later to see how we were doing. I asked him if he wanted to come in for a minute and say hello to you because you know him better than I do, anyway. But then, he said no, he would come back later. Isn't that strange?"

Bakura turned Ryou's face toward him, staring into his other's eyes.

"Are you really all that stupid?"

"Wh.. What do you mean?"

Bakura kissed Ryou on the forehead, taking him by surprise.

"Don't tell anyone," Bakura said, lowering his voice. "Especially that brat or the Pharaoh. But you look... sort of... cute. When you're being stupid."

"I I I'm not stupid..," Ryou winced, wondering what his yami was talking about. He felt a little uncomfortable under the spirit's stare.

Bakura kissed Ryou's cheek, enveloping the pale hikari in his arms.

"'Coming over later to check up on us' he says," Bakura whispered. "Who does he think he is?"

"...I don't know," Ryou said nervously, trying to relax under Bakura's lips. He wondered why his heartbeat was kicking up a few notches, because they'd sat together sort of like this lots of times before.. "Malik is Malik. I'm not really so surprised HE would give such a... a weird gift, but everyone else.."

"Hmph," Bakura sighed, licking the place beneath Ryou's earlobe with a grin. "You're an idiot."

"Huh?"

Ryou gasped as he felt the wetness near his cheek, instinctively pushing away from his Yami. Being the stronger one, Bakura swiftly covered the small teen's lips with his own, smothering the boy in a warm but not quite satisfying kiss.

As soon as they broke apart, Ryou was left gasping for air. His cheeks were flushed pink with surprise and confusion, but he didn't find it repulsive. In fact, he sat still as he opened his eyes, only to find Bakura grinning at him devilishly, licking his lips with a newfound hobby.

"Ryou," Bakura stated slowly; an order. The boy, unsure but slowly relaxing into his other's embrace, nodded stupidly in response to his name.

Bakura grabbed the leather choker that had been a gift from Yugi and the Pharaoh, tightening it comfortably around Ryou's neck. The boy did not say anything in response, too worried to say a word.

"Take off your clothes," Bakura continued, nipping at Ryou's bottom lip. "And get these presents of yours on. Looks like you're gonna have a happy birthday after all..."