Disclaimer: NOT MINE. I was inspired to write this by reading a few others like it. I do, however, teach kindergarten for half of my school day… so I sort of know what I'm talking about here.
A/N: I know I should work on the other gazillion stories I have going on. I know I'm not going to write anything remotely coherent at 1:40 a.m. I know all the marauders didn't go to kindergarten together. I don't know if kindergarten even exists across the pond. So what! I'm writing this anyway!
Good morning Remus.
What's that? You lost another tooth? You're getting so big!
No, that wasn't an insult…
Sirius, stop pelting blocks at Severus.
Because I said so.
For Merlin's sake!
He doesn't smell that bad.
Frank! Out of the fish tank!
I know it's pretty, but the water is dirty…
Ew.
Lily, I don't want to catch you near that again.
Alice, you aren't supposed to climb that!
Because you could fall…
:THUD:
I tried to warn you.
JAMES!
LEAVE THE CANARY ALONE!
No Severus, out of the Play Dough.
No.
NO.
Peter! Back away from the table leg!
James, apologize.
Because telling Peter to gnaw on it wasn't nice.
Because I said so.
Alice, stop!
Ew, Frank, don't kiss her, you just got out of the fish tank!
BECAUSE I SAID SO!
Sirius…
I warned you.
That's the third time this week!
But the glitter away NOW.
ONE…
TWO…
THREE…
Yes, I can count higher!
Really high!
PUT THE GLITTER DOWN NOW!
Alice, that isn't tea…
Lily, slapping James wasn't the nice way to get him stop, was it?
Where'd you learn that word?
Well, tell your sister's friend to stop using nasty words.
It isn't nice.
Sirius? How did you get all the way up there?
No, you can't fly!
I'm sure!
:GROAN:
No, just come down!
Severus, wash your hands… that's disgusting.
BECAUSE I SAID SO!
Frank, fingers don't go there.
FOR MERLIN'S SAKE SIRIUS! PUT YOUR PANTS BACK ON!
Oh, Remus, that's sweet, I love apples!
LILY! I told you to stay away from that!
Chemicals are bad for little boys, Severus.
Yes, that includes dishsoap.
What did I tell you about the canary, James?
Ew, take that out of your mouth.
Where did Frank and Alice go?
If they're playing healer again…
Well tell them to get out of the toy box!
No, Sirius, you can't sleep under the table.
BECAUSE I SAID SO!
Is Peter still in the bathroom?
Ew, what's that smell…?
How could you have an "accident" if you were in the bathroom?
Never mind, I don't want to know.
No… I really don't want to know.
Go see if the nurse has any extra clothes that fit you.
LILY! I told you to leave that alone!
James, how many times do I have to tell you?
That's five minutes you have to sit out recess.
Well, that's how long it took me to catch the canary.
I don't care if you can do it in two.
That's it Severus! Time out!
I don't care who started it, Frank is the one that ended up on the windowsill.
Shush Remus, I'm on the phone!
Oh Merlin…
My head is going to explode!
NO YOU CAN'T WATCH!
:BRRRRIIINNNGGGGGGGGGGGG:
THANK MERLIN!
Coffee, I need coffee.
Black.