Maybe or Maybe Not?

vendredi le 31 mars 2006

Dear Hermione,

Today, I've been having such a horrid day. I couldn't concentrate on my studies, work, not even on Ron or Harry. Maybe, I shouldn't be dating with my best friend? It should be unlawful for one too. But, I mean I really do have such strong feelings for Ron, he's so loving towards me. Especially when he kisses me and holds me in his arms and tells me that he loves me. I've told him a couple of times that I loved him, but maybe I really don't? I'm so confused.
Maybe...maybe I should just, you know talk to him and talk about where this relationship is going, because so far its a dead-ended relationship, that I would like to progress if that's quite possible. Do you think that's what I should do?...Okay, I really wish that I had one of those little angel-devil 'Hermione' versions of myself on my shoulder, because I don't know what to do.
Great, I have to go. I hear someone coming towards my door. Let's hope it's not Malfoy. Au revoir.

Signed,

Sincerely Me.

Hermione lay on her stomach closing her diary as someone knocked on her door and opened the door slightly. She hurriedly shoved her diary underneath her bed and fell flat on the floor from doing so. Someone chuckled at the door and walked over to her.

"Malfoy, this isn't the time to be laughing. What do you want?", she said looking at the floor, not noticing that she addressed the wrong person.

"Malfoy? Mione, its Ron. Have you already forgotten the way my laughing sounds?", he said kneeling down in front of her and helping her sit down upright on the floor.

"Oh, I'm so sorry, Ron. I swore it was him, because usually he always does something so ignorant like that." She gave him an apologetic face and he accepted it. He got up, extending his hand out towards her, waiting for her to take it. Instead she pushed him backwards, as he almost hit his head against her night stand. She gave an outright gasp and crawled towards him cautiously. "Ron... are you okay?"

"Luckily, for me yes. For you? I don't exactly think so." At that moment he jumped up and tackled her to the ground, kissing her firmly. Hermione always loved that about him, he was too sneaky for his own good when it came to her. "Just...don't do that again. You scared me there for a second." He said pausing the kiss. She smiled at him and pecked him on his lips and nodded. "Promise?"

"I promise, Ron."

He laid on top of her for a moment and kissed her once more and whispered in her ear, "I love you", and then kissed her ear softly. That gave Hermione a slither of shivers to run down her spine and she bit her lip softly. How she also loved the way he kissed her ear, at the right moment, was so amazing and she didn't want to let him go. She turned him and herself, so that she was the one on top and she gave him a kiss in return and also whispered in his ear sweet nothings of "I love you"'s and kissed the tip of his nose, one of his favorite spots for a kiss from his Hermione.

She then sat up on his stomach and winked at him, when someone opened the door walking in on them.

"Well, well, well." It was Draco Malfoy.

Hermione's eyes widened and her face gave a panicked look and she got off of Ron as quickly as she could without getting herself hurt. Ron did the same and stood beside her.

"What do you want, Malfoy?" said Ron.

"I needed Granger, but I see you two are quite...busy." said Malfoy, while his famous smirk slid across his face and he stared at Hermione with much content. "Wouldn't think that mudblood Granger, would try getting dirty at school. Especially when she hasn't even finished school. What? Are you trying to get yourself pregnant with Weasel-bees children? Hah. It would be perfect with the looks of you, two together."

Ron's face turned a bright cranberry red, while Hermione's cheeks flushed light pink. She walked over to Draco and stared at him directly in his eyes, wanting to say something. But something about his eyes, told her not to. It was as if he was hurting and he needed help, so she backed down.

"Good job, Granger. I should give your house 10 house points, for doing the right thing...for once. But! I'm not nice enough, to do so." he said smirking all the while.

"Malfoy, just leave. I'll talk to you later..."

Right then Ron walked up behind her, extremely close, having her feel his lower parts and she almost jumped, but instead her face stiffened slightly and her cheeks flushed a dark red.

Malfoy stood there smirking and raised an eyebrow giving Hermione an awfully seductive look. Well, that's what it looked like anyway. He then walked away from the door, talking, "Meet me in the Astronomy Tower. We're supposed to see Dumbledore there, for our next assignment. Don't do anything, Granger, or you might be late." He laughed and walked the rest of the way down the spiral staircases and out of their common room.

Hermione's face was still the color of a tomato, when she shoved Ron away from her and slammed her door.

"Ron! Why'd you do that for!"

He laughed softly. "To, see what you would do in front of the ferret."

"But, Ron. Wrong place and timing. It was bad enough that he saw me on top of you." She was so embarrassed, by being seen by a Slytherin on top of her boyfriend. She just, didn't know why it made her so flustered and so...so...red. But, she remembered when she looked in his eyes, that something was troubling him deeply. Never had she seen someone look so pained and cover it up as such, until you looked in their eyes. She wanted to search his eyes, she wanted to tell him that whatever was wrong was going to be okay, she wanted to hold him in her arms...

But, wait a minute. Why would she want to help Draco Malfoy? The one who made her life a living hell for the past six years that she was attending Hogwarts? A Slytherin? Of all people, she didn't know why she wasn't so troubled.

She walked back over to her four-poster bed and sat down on it, giving a great sigh. Ron knew something was troubling her.

"You okay, Mione?"

She didn't answer, but instead she stood up and walked into her bathroom and closed the door.

"Mione! What's wrong?" said Ron, walking over to the door and knocking on it a couple of times. She was on the other side of the door, thinking about what may have been troubling Malfoy so. Then again, she didn't want to think about it right now, she had Ron waiting for her...worrying about something that there was no worry to. Slowly, she turned around and opened the door and stood face to face with Ron. He walked up to her and felt her head to check that she didn't have a fever, she didn't of course.

"What's wrong, sweetheart?"

"Nothing, I was just thinking."

"Are you lying to me?"

"No, Ron. I'm not lying to you. Something just...something just... caught my eye." She was trying to think of something as she knew that he was going to start throwing questions at her, but he didn't.

"Alright, then. Just, don't think too much. You do too much of that already while we're in class." He smiled at her and she smiled back. He wrapped his arms around her waist and held her close, kissing her forehead.

"I love you, Ron."

"I love you, too, Hermione. I really love you." He looked in her eyes with so much life and love and gave her a kiss with such astounding passion, that you could feel it yourself if you walked in on them. She gave him a kiss so much deeper in return, it made him want to just get down on his knees and propose to her right then and there, but unfortunately he couldn't do such a thing at such a young age. Well, not that he knew of anyway.

"Hermione," said Ron, pulling away from the kiss reluctantly. "Have you..." He bit his lower lip softly and sighed softly. "...have you ever thought about getting married?"

The word 'married' blew her away. She knew that she wasn't ready for it and if Ron was going to ask her right now, she would have to say no to him. She just didn't feel old enough to take of herself, or a family now.

"Erm..." she was thinking of what to say. Should she lie to him or should she tell him the truth, making his heart break? Maybe it's good that I tell him the truth, I really don't want to hurt him though..."...Ron. I'm just..not ready for it. I...I...I need to go."

She backed away from him and walked around him towards her other door, when Ron called out to her, "Hermione. What's going on? Is there something that you need telling me?" He was walking towards her with a puzzled and hurt look plastered on his face. He didn't understand, his heart was aching for answers, which he knew she'd never give. "Please. I'm here. I want to know what's wrong." He looked like he was on the verge of tears as he continued to approach her slowly.

"There isn't anything wrong, Ronald. I just...need some time to think."

Ron stopped in his tracks and said, "...Did you just call me Ronald, Hermione?"

Hermione's eyes widened and she looked down at the floor quickly. She couldn't believe she called him that. She promised him from day one that she wouldn't call him that, unless something was bothering her. Now she was in for it. Ron walked over to her and kissed the top of her hair and held her hand and lifted her head up, making sure she was looking at him.

"Baby, what is wrong? You tell me now. I don't want to see you hurting." He kissed her again on her forehead softly and looked at her. He wanted to know. She sighed and mumbled under her breath, "I can't tell you."

"Excuse me?" said Ron hoping that she would speak up.

"I can't tell you." she said a bit louder. This time he did hear her and he looked her up and down and backed away from her. He shook his head and looked away from her.

"You know, Hermione, I really thought for a second that you were the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. But, I don't know how I could've thought that. You can't even tell me what's wrong with you." Ron was so pained in saying that to her, that he said it so softly, she almost had to strain her ears to hear him.

"Ron. I'm just..." Reality, she didn't have an excuse. She didn't know what was troubling her really. Maybe it was the fact that it had to do with Malfoy or...maybe not.

"You're just what Hermione? Bet you can't even tell me that." He was getting so heated with her, he wanted to pin her against the wall and just...make her tell him, but he loved her too much to do such a thing to her. Sometimes when he thought of doing those things to her, he cried himself to sleep. Then Harry would make him tell him what was wrong and he'd tell him.

"I'mworriedaboutsomeone.Idon'tknowwhy,exactly.It'sstrangeandIfeellikeIshouldhelpthem,anyway,eventhoughIdon'tlikethem." She said it so fast, that it took Ron almost a minute to actually understand what she had said.

"Who is it?", he said looking back at her.

"...It's..." she didn't know that he was going to ask her who it was. She didn't want to tell him! Why would she want to tell Ron that she wanted to help her most hated enemy? She just couldn't, but she had to, for her sake and his. "...it's Malfoy."

"Malfoy? Are you out of your bloody mind, Hermione! You can't help that git! He's made you feel like you're not worth anything to anyone! You just can't help him. No, I won't let you! Think about this Hermione, why would you do this?"

"I don't know, Ron. I really don't know. But, he...looked like he was in trouble. Like he needed someone to help him. We've been at school for how long so far? Almost two months and no one has noticed that something is wrong with him?"

Ron laughed coldly, "Herm. There is always something wrong with Malfoy. For as long as he lives, there is always going to be something wrong with him. No matter what. No one can change him."

"Yeah, well. Maybe I can. Even though, it seems like an impossible situation...the word impossible itself says 'possible'. Can I at least try?" She looked at him for permission.

He stared at her and his eyebrows furrowed. He was worried about what Malfoy might do to her if she tried to confront him and help him, but he hated to make her sad and she really looked like she wanted to help him. He breathed in deeply and nodded his head, "If he dares tries and hurts you I'm going to beat his ass, Hermione. Okay?"

She smiled and rushed over to him, hugging him tightly. "Thank you, Ron." She then leaned in to kiss him, but she instead got a finger placed on her lips and she gave Ron her best puppy eyes that always got her what she wanted with him. He gave in and leaned in and kissed her. She smiled and let him go and walked backwards towards the door walking in a seductive manner. Ron, wouldn't let her just do that to him, so he rushed up to her as she hit the door and he pinned her against the door and rubbed himself against her lower half, making her moan. He kissed her firmly and seductively and placed his hand underneath her shirt. She then deepened the kiss and placed her hand on his belt buckle, while her other hand was in his hair.

He then picked her up and she wrapped her legs around his waist and she unbuckled his belt and started for his pant buttons. As she was doing so, he was walking exactly backwards as the bed was perfectly behind them. Once he reached there, he fell back and she was on top of him and she looked at him and smiled. Ron looked at her with want in his eyes. She wanted him, badly, but it was such at an inopportune time. They couldn't get what they wanted right then and there, so they left it at that.

So, Hermione gave Ron a peck on his lips and attempted to climb off, but Ron pulled her back down on top of him.

"Mione, you be careful, with Malfoy. He's a bastard at that. I don't want you getting hurt. I love you."

"Ron. I'll be fine. I need to go, I'll be back soon. Love you." She climbed off of him and put on her robe and walked towards the door. She turned around to look at him and smiled softly and then walked out of the room towards the Astronomy Tower to meet up with Draco and Professor Dumbledore.

As she left, he kept on thinking to himself, Maybe she could change him. Or…maybe she couldn't.

-- AN: As you notice, Hermione is learning French. You'll find out soon enough how.
Also, her diary entries when they go, 'Dear Hermione...Signed, Sincerely Me.' they come from a song called "Dear Jamie...Sincerely Me" from HelloGoodbye. && Also, the name of the story 'If You Come Softly' is from a book by Jacqueline Woodson, who adapted that title from Audre Lorde.
Well, you know what author's like moi, adore? Oui! Comments! Make me happy.