Falling Back Into Chaos

by rrabbit

A collection of myths I always found fascinating told from the point of view of the women who were forced into difficult situations and relationships. Each chapter is a stand alone story that will weave and overlap with the others to form one over all narrative. Starting with Eros and Psyche, my retellings are mature and will get progressively darker and more twisted.

1. Eros and Psyche

Eros and Psyche

"Remember what I told you." My mother has tears in her eyes as she combs my hair, having sent the servants away to prepare me herself. "Be docile, be sweet, and above all... be obedient. All husbands love an obedient wife."

I swallow hard at the thought and look down at my lap as I try not to weep. Bravery is a mask all women wear the day of their wedding and I have practiced mine for weeks. Ever since the oracle told my father I must be wed to the man on the mountain.

"I know it is hard for you," she says as I start playing with the bracelets on my wrist... gold things given to me by my King Father to show his affection. "You're so stubborn. I know you are... but once you are married, you must remember your place..."

She keeps talking... empty words about duty and honor... but I can hardly hear her anymore. The dress I'm wearing is midnight silk, like the flowers that grow in my garden right before winter comes to kill the earth. Mother snags a tangle in my hair and I wince, yanking my head back and curling my hands into fists.

"Things get easier in time. All things get easier, but we are strong, you know. So very strong. My mother was strong... her mother was strong... and you will be strong..."

"Will it be awful?" I whisper my dark thought out loud, wary of the answer.

She pauses and sets the comb down. I watch her hand shake as she goes back to my hair, braiding it with nimble fingers as she tries to control her emotions.

"You have such lovely hair," she whispers instead of answering. "A really rich color," she sighs. My hair is brown… lighter than hers but still brown all the same. "And such beautiful curls." Her voice trembles. "Such beautiful.. beautiful curls."

I make a troubled face at the table.

She was never this way when my sister's were married... never this distraught or emotional and it worries me because I have yet to know who my husband to be is... I do not know his face... I do not know where he hails from... I don't even know his name.

"It will only be awful if you make it be so," she says softly. Her fingers moving through my hair with twists and turns and clenches of golden clips. "Men are quite easy," she says lightly, like she was trying to convince herself of that fact. "Underneath all their roughness they want to be loved just as women do. Find the handsomeness in your husband, find the love that resides there and your life will be better all the more. There is something in every man worthy of adoration. I am sure of it. If you do not find it, you will truly be lost."

She pulls too hard on my hair and I grab her wrist, turning in my chair so I can see her expression... but her eyes refuse to meet mine.

"Who is he?" I ask for the millionth time.

For weeks my mother has been filling my mind with the secrets a woman learns about marriage, children, and the duties of the marital bed. Fear has gripped me hard and I can't help but worry about my fate with this husband no one seems to know anything about. Last night, when I placed my childhood toys at the altar of Artemis, I had prayed to be taken away by the goddess…I prayed to be protected by her strength and vowed to be a maiden always… but my prayers were not to be answered for my fate was already sealed.

"Please, Mother." I plead. "Tell me who I am to be married to."

She hesitates a second, her eyes blurring with more tears that make me dread the worst. She stares me down and then a shaky smile comes to her face as she brushes a tendril of hair away from my cheek.

"You are so lovely," she whispers, her lower lip quivering. "My lovely little girl..." She laughs uncomfortably like she was embarrassed by her emotions before stepping back and wiping her eyes. "It's hard for a mother to give up her youngest child. You understand?" she wants me to agree, but I can't. "Your husband..." She exhales slowly and kneels in front of me, taking my hands in her own and giving me another watery smile. "I hear that your husband is very kind," she says. "I have not met him... but your father has."

"He has?" I whisper, trying to find the lie on her face... but wanting to believe whatever she is willing to tell me to ease my own nerves.

She nods.

"He said that the man to be your husband is a noble lord but like all men he has his quirks and he is quite shy. All you must do is remember your duties and stay sweet." She sniffs loudly and picks up the wedding veil from the table. "You were born in a bloody summer," she says, playing with the beads on the fire red veil. "The night you were born, your King Father was victorious in the siege and won the war in the south," she smiles again, this time it reaches her eyes. "And such a beautiful babe you were, we all thought you were given by the gods to bring luck and prosperity to our lands... and you did."

She places the veil on my head, securing the crown in my hair.

"For ten full years we prospered... but the gods saw fit to punish us for our hubris."

I know they did... our lands saw famine and pestilence... Great storms came across the seas and ravaged villages in my father's kingdom and a plague wiped out those that had survived the worst of it. The Gods had punished us for our pride...and our happiness... and they will have their vengeance for even more.

"This will remedy our pain,"she whispers. "The oracle has said so and you get to be the hero once again."

She puts the veil over my face, making the world red and on fire.

"A warrior in the only way a woman can be."

She stands up and helps me to my feet.

"Will he be handsome?" I ask hopefully as she stands back to appraise me one last time.

I feel foolish in such an outfit... foolish that a day that should be met with celebration is treated like a funerary march to my death. She doesn't answer that and I put my hand on my stomach nervously because her silence means more than her lies.

"Danika's husband is older than father," I say to myself as we walk from the room. I think of my sister on her wedding day, how nervous she was and the awful face she made when she saw her husband for the first time... He was an old man, with thinning gray hair and hooked nose that had dark hair sprouting from it. "Now she says she is happy and has two children by him."

"Children change everything," my mother admits, her steps in time with mine as we walk down the abandoned corridors. "That is where a stout love grows. Half of me, half of you... and together you find the love the Gods want for us."

"Rosemund's husband has a twisted spine." Though her husband wasn't bad looking, he did have crooked bones that made him hunch over as he walked. "She says his bones go stiff and she has to rub out the knots on his hands each morning... And she says she is happy and could want for nothing..."

"Little comforts in life keep us from dwelling on the bad," mother says sagely, letting me talk through my thoughts to build up my defenses.

"And my husband is kind." I nod my head, remembering her words. "A noble, shy lord. If I don't fall in love with him, I will be content. All I could want is a kind husband," I say, looking to my mother for more confirmation, but instead of giving me the strength I need to see... she bursts into tears.

She cries in angry sobs, beating her chest and screaming at the unfairness of it all as servants run out from their hiding spots to see what the commotion is. Her reaction horrifies me and I back up into the wall, my hand on my heart and my mouth opened in slack jawed awe as she starts damning everything around her.

Amos, the eunuch servant who grew up with me, gently takes my arm.

"Come, princess," he whispers gently in my ear. "You do not need to see such things."

He pulls me down the back stair case and lets me have a moment to catch my breath. I move the veil away from my face.

"She lied to me," I whisper, tears stinging my eyes again... feeling as though I can let the mask slip in front of my oldest friend. "My husband will not be kind... He will not be handsome... he will not be noble...He will be nothing but cruel and abusive"

"You don't know that."

"I do know that... Everyone is acting like I am going to my death. This marriage will kill me and I am marrying a monster."

"Psyche." Amos takes my hand... He's always been so pretty, with big brown eyes and a head full of curly hair. He was cut as a boy, so as he has grown he always retained that beautiful smoothness of youth. "You do not know that. Everything will be fine, yes? I know."

He's trying to be nice to me. He always tries to be so nice and he looks around for a moment before pressing a quick kiss against my forehead. I relish in the affection, fearing it will be the last I will ever have in this life. I try to catch my breath, getting my thoughts in order as I banish all dreams of a happy life... of a loving marriage...so I do not drown in my despair.

"I am so afraid," I admit as my stomach turns.

"Do not be frightened," he whispers, grasping my arm in a soft way. "The Gods have willed it so and I know they would not want you to be so unhappy."

"The Gods have willed it so," I repeat breathlessly. "And I must remember my duty."

Amos stares at me, lost as to what to say before nodding his head. I put the veil back down to cover my face and straighten my shoulders. I will be brave. I have to be.

I start walking down the stairs, with Amos close behind and I meet more maidservants in the gallery, waiting to help me to the carriage. Father is waiting outside and he kisses both of my cheeks, his hands tight around my arms as he tells me he loves me.

"My little one," he says fondly, trying to smile but failing before turning his attention to my distraught mother as she comes from the house. "This is for the greater good of all our kingdom," he reassures me as he hugs me close. "When the night is dark and the winter is cold, remember that I loved you above all else," he whispers in my ear before giving me another quick kiss.

I climb into the carriage, a parade of villagers following behind to take me to the cliff where my new life awaits. They sing hymns and cry as I try to remain composed... as I try to keep my mask of steel in place while the world behind me wails of my loss like I was already gone. The wedding veil is the fire of my funeral pier and the flowers thrown at my feet are there to cover the stench of my rotting corpse.

It's a long trek to the cliff and I spend most of the ride with my eyes shut tight until we reach the high ledge, where jagged rocks stick from the earth like giants and below a violent sea crashes against the land with Poseidon's fury.

Father says something... Mother says something... Amos says something... but I can not hear them as I walk to the cliff side, the wind whipping my dress and veil into a frenzy around me. The sun is just starting to set on the horizon as the pink dusk of night comes to swallow the world.

"Am I going to die?" I ask out loud but no one answers because they have already gone.

I look over my shoulder, seeing the progression back down the cliff side, leaving me alone to wait for my fate as the wails of my mother carry into the air.

I wait for hours... hours upon hours until the sea swallows the sun and I remove the veil because I can not see much in the darkness. My hands start shaking and I look around, for a second thinking that my family had meant to expose me out here, but then there is a swirling gale and a whistling sound.

With the commotion appears a horse made of wind and clouds, running through the air like magic. I start walking backwards out of fear and I fumble, falling hard on my back and gasping at the display as the horse stops right in front of me.

Attached to it's back is a chariot of clouds and when the door opens right by my feet, I scramble back further.

Get in.... a voice whispers in my ear and I jump. Get in... Quick!

I do as the voice commands and I step in the chariot, finding it solid under my feet and I nearly scream when the horse of wind kicks off the cliff, diving towards the water before pulling up and moving across the sky so quickly that I think I might be sick. My stomach turns and flips as I grip the edges of the chariot. I clench my eyes shut and try to swallow the bile in my throat while the demon horse takes me over the water and to a land I have never seen before.

Time stops before speeding up dramatically and by the time the chariot finally lands, the morning sun is blazing through sky of clearest blue as we settle in the middle of large, beautiful meadow.

The horse... the chariot... just disappear into a puff of smoke and I'm left to fend for myself, falling to the ground and staying there when exhaustion unlike anything I have ever felt before overtakes me. I close my eyes and drift into a deep sleep where I dream of monsters... great winged beasts with twisted horns and red eyes blazing like rubies in the sun.

When I wake, I find myself in a comfortable bed...and I sit up quickly, still half asleep as I look around the room. It's a great, glorious thing, with a mosaic floor and painted walls that show the revered animals of the gods all frolicking in a spring paradise. The large windows are open, letting in the sun as shimmering curtains sway in the slight breeze that brings in the salty scent of the sea.

I struggle out of the covers and hop to my feet, looking around at the statues and trinkets hinting towards a wealth even my King Father did not possess. My hands shake as I take it all in... The looking glass on the wall... the wooden furniture all carved so intricately by genuine craftsmen and the combs made of jade and ivory lying by a cosmetics table.

How did I come to this room? I can not recall and the lost time troubles me as I bring a hand up to my neck, noticing that my hair is free and I'm wearing different clothes... my midnight dress has been replaced with a peach colored shift that is sleeveless and starts just at my knees in an indecent way.

Come down stairs...

"Who are you?" I call.

Come down stairs... You are home now...

It's the voice of a young woman full of life and happiness and I follow her call as it pulls me through the house. Each room is more grand than the next, full of splendor... golds, silvers, and gemstones that sparkle as I pass them by. I have never seen so much wealth in my life and the girl in me nearly giggles at the display, but I swallow my happiness, because it is a shallow, fleeting feeling. I must remember... if this is the house of my husband... my pleasure will seem foolish once night time comes.

I hear music coming from one of the great halls... plucking chords of a lyre playing a lovely song as I make my way towards the fine smelling area, stopping short in the threshold when I see a banquet fit for a Queen on display. Meats, fish, fruits, vegetables... breads and oils... are all heaped along the table and at the very head is a golden goblet full of wine just waiting for me to grasp it.

Sit... The voice urges as invisible hands load the golden plate with fish and grapes and spiced vegetables. Eat...

I hesitate a second before my stomach growls loudly.

The voice giggles.

I grab a grape and pop it into my mouth as I look around. The hall is large enough to fit an entire village inside of it and I feel dwarfed by its scope as the music wafts through the air in a sweet and somber melody.

"Where am I?" I ask after eating enough to curb my hunger, but not enough to have my fill. I am still far too nervous to do that.

No one answers and I frown.

"Are you there?"

Again the silence comes and I stand up to take a walk about the place. The richness is in each room, in each fabric, and in each fresco on the walls. There is a large bathroom with steaming water that feels warm to the touch and a small garden off of the second floor that's set into a balcony with statues covered in ivy and fountains that have colorful fish swimming in their depths.

Strong golden pillars hold up the domed ceilings and the sun shines in from holes cut at the very top, similar to the God's Windows at the temples from home. The only thing I can not find is a door... a front door... a back door... anything that would release me to the world outside. I let that thought trouble me for half a second before I hear the whistling wind come into the room I'm standing in and the voice comes back to whisper in my ear.

The master is coming!

Those words send a winters chill down my spine and I feel my hands starting to shake again.

The master is coming! The voice is giddy with excitement. You must bathe! You must be clean for the master!

Wind hands push my reluctant body towards the bath and I fight the violation as it tears the dress from my body.

Bathe! The voice chants as I walk into the water to cover my nakedness, my cheeks hot in humiliation and my heart burning in anger. Bathe!

I do as instructed because each time I hesitate, the invisible hands come out to pinch my side. I pretend I am alone... I pretend I am at home and I give into my own ritual, using the oils and perfumes along the edges to cleanse myself of the fear and confusion. Another dress is waiting for me when I'm done and the voice comments on my beauty while I dress in the white gown that feels as soft as silk and nearly see through. Ghost fingers come up to plait my hair and I try to keep my breathing under control as I'm led back to the fine bedroom I had woken up in.

The voice starts singing to me as I sit on the bed, my palms sweating and my heart hammering at what awaits me as the frankincense burns near by, filling the room with it's sweet, earthy fragrance.

Darkness comes not long after... bringing the pale moonlight and burning stars as candles flame to life around the room to keep me from going mad.

The Master is here!

Those words stop my heart and then my entire world goes dark as a silence takes over the room. I can see nothing but pitch black darkness... nothing of the glow of the moon... no candle flame... no stars... Nothing but a void... I start to hyperventilate as I stand up and promptly run into a table... the candle sticks on top fall and clatter to the ground as I feel around with my fingers to get my bearings. A panic seizes me and my blind eyes tear up at the thought of being without sight for the rest of my life... until I feel hands on my own.

"Be calm."

I inhale sharply at that deep voice... It's the voice of a man... a man standing so close to me and smelling of cinnamon. Is this my husband to be?

"You will hurt yourself," he tells me, standing me straight. Even in the darkness I can feel his eyes on me... surely looking at my body under the sheer dress.

"I can't see," I admit as my cheeks darken in a red blush. His fingers dance up my arms like little spiders as I try imagine what he looks like... each thought more awful than the next. "I can't see anything."

"Only for now," he assures me as his hand moves to my neck. "Trust there is nothing wrong with your sight and it will soon return to you... but for your life, you can not see me for what I am," he admits as my insides start twisting all over. "For it will bring you nothing but pain and despair."

I don't know what to say to that, and I feel a stray tear leak from my eye. He wipes it away.

"Do you like your new home, wife?"

Wife.

The word was so disgusting.

I remember my mother's words... to be sweet, and docile, and obedient. I fear the wrath of this strange man, so I nod my head to appease him.

"I thought you would," he says gently. "I have built this all for your pleasure."

"You did?" I ask to the darkness, my voice sounding high and far too young.

"Yes," he answers firmly.

I hesitate a moment, letting him caress me as he takes a step closer, his body pressed into mine.

"Who are you?" I manage to ask when I feel his warm lips against my shoulder.

"I am your husband."

His kisses move to my neck.

"What is your name?"

"That matters not," he whispers as he presses more soft kisses along my jaw. "All that you must call me is husband and I will give you anything your heart desires."

"Why?" I ask, my brows furrowed in a deep line as I struggle to understand. "You speak like you know me... but how could you? How can you ever know me to say you have built this all for me?"

He doesn't answer, instead he kisses me hard on the mouth, pulling me close into an embrace and keeping me there. He pulls back so I can catch my breath before he kisses me again, a deep, opened mouthed kiss with his tongue. He tastes like wine… a sweet taste.

"Such soft skin..." he mutters as he pulls back with his hand in my hair. "Such sweet lips..."

His hands start to move the straps of my dress down and I bring my hands up to stop him.

"No."

The word is heavy and it goes against everything my mother had tried to teach me with her lessons of how to please a husband. Always submit, even when you don't want to. It was a wife's duty... But how could she understand that it was not the same as it had been with my father... that this was a different beast altogether? How could she say such things to me before banishing me to this fate?

"No?" he asks, sounding amused for a second before he goes to take off my dress anyways.

"No," I say again as I pull away from him.

Not being able to see works against me as the back of my knees hit the bed, causing me to fall on the mattress.

"No," he repeats as he crawls beside me.

I try remember my mother's words when his hands go back to my dress, slinking the straps down my shoulders. It is my duty to lay with my husband. Duty to him, duty to the Gods who condone it, and duty to my people who rely on this match to curry favor from the divine once more. If I am to be with this one person until my death releases me, is it smart to fight him on this? On something I know I must do?

"Hush now," he whispers as I let him take my dress off. "I do not want to take you violently."

"Then don't take me at all," I whisper, my voice shaking at the idea of what could come next.

"I must," he says as he cups my breast in his hand and squeezes softly, making a pulse go through my body. "But let it be gentle, sweet one. Don't make a villain out of me."

He sees me struggle with the decision and then he sees my submission. He presses a kiss to the corner of my mouth before moving around... the rustling of fabric clues me into him removing his clothes and a fresh wave of tears hits me as he moves between my legs, gently prodding my knees apart with his hands. This is moving too fast. I'm not ready and my breath quickens when his fingers dance up my thighs.

"I will stop if it's what you truly want," he says seriously when I whimper pathetically. I like his voice. It's a nice, deep voice that could be considered gentle if I wasn't so frightened. "But our marriage must be consummated soon. It is our duty to one another as husband and wife to solidify our bond, but I will not have you cry underneath me."

"What?" I mumble as he pulls back, his insistent fingers leaving me cold.

"I do not want you to loath me or fear my touch. We must live together, you and I, and my love making will not be a chore to you or something that must be endured. That is not the kind of husband I will be."

I pause a moment, thinking over my options and my worries… and the fact that I want a happy marriage. He is being so kind to be now… and all I could want is a kind husband, right?

"I can leave you with your thoughts for the night," he offers, but I don't answer right away because I'm not sure what I should say. "Or I could stay?"

Let him stay...my thoughts whisper….You want your husband to love you. Could he love me? Could I love him? A stranger I can not see? My thoughts are too confusing but I remember my mother's words… her advice and her warnings… and what my new role is.. .

"Stay," I whisper after a lifetime of indecision. "I want you to stay."

I can feel his smile at my consent as a ripple of fear goes through my body.

"I will teach you," he replies softly as he moves back between my legs. "Don't be nervous."

He steals a kiss and pushes me back against the pillows. Being blind to the world makes every noise ten times louder and each sensation feel ten times hotter. The noises he makes, the rustling of sheets… the feel of his hands as they move around my body vibrate and burn. I feel cold but hot at the same time and I can't seem to breathe properly.

His warm lips kiss my neck, my shoulder, my breasts. His hands move around the curves of my body, caressing and grasping… and searching while I stay still underneath him with a fist in the covers…. but I gasp out loud when his attention moves between my legs.

"Do you know what this means?" he asks, his fingers gently searching before he dips his fingers inside me. I arch my back. "Do you?" he asks, laughing at my reaction.

I shake my head because I don't know what he wants me to say. He grabs my hand and brings it down to where his fingers are. I try to pull my hand back, but he holds firm using his fingers to guide me around my own sex. I've never touched down there before…. not like this… and it makes me uncomfortable.

"Do you feel?" He asks as he presses my fingers inside…. I try to pull back again, but he grabs my wrist. "When your body is wet like this, it means you are ready to receive me. Did you know that?"

I shake my head, feeling my cheeks blush as my body starts humming. He lets me finally pull my hand away and I grab the pillow behind my head, biting hard on my lower lip when his fingers go back to what they were doing before...It starts to feel good in a strange kind of way. It's a building fire in my belly that I fear will consume me whole.

Is this what sex is?

"Your body knows that it belongs to me even before your mind does." He says softly.

He grabs my hand again, the one with wet fingers, and he pulls me forward, wrapping my hand around something hard.

"This is how you know your husband is ready to take you," he explains. "This is a husband's love," he adds. "Do you understand that?"

"Yes," I whisper, half in fear and half in awe as my body wakes and trembles.

"Good," he gently pushes me back until I'm laying against the pillows again and he settles between my open legs. "Now I'm going to make you mine," he says as he presses his sex into mine. I wince at the intrusion as my body stretches to accommodate his. "You know what comes next, don't you?"

I nod, my hands shaking. "My mother told me..."

He laughs at that and starts pushing his body into mine. It burns and it hurts and tears leak from the corner of my eyes as I bite down on my lower lip.

"Then your mother must have told you that once I take your virginity," he pushes in all the way as something in my body breaks. I bite back my gasp of pain. "You will be mine forever and always."

He rests his weight on his elbows and I keep my hands useless by my head as he starts moving in and out of me, stirring his member like I was told a husband would. As he moves on top of me, whispering words about his love and my beauty, my thoughts go back to what he must look like. What kind of monster was taking me right now and were there other people in the room? What if this was some sort of joke and soon I would see and my humiliation would be for everyone who ever thought ill of me.

Other people being the room, watching me being mounted by a monster makes me start crying again and I sob like a child... so much so that my new husband stops his movements... although his body doesn't leave mine completely.

"What is wrong?" he asks breathlessly. "Is the pain too much?"

"Who are you?" I whine pathetically as I bring my hands up to cover my face. "Who are you?"

He gently pulls my hands away from my face and slips out of me as he settles more on top of my body.

"I am your husband," he whispers sweetly as he presses kisses to my lips and cheeks. "I am sworn to protect and love you for the rest of your life. You must trust me. You must have faith." He takes a hand and brings it up to my face. "Feel me," he whispers as my hands dance over his features, his lips and cheeks and into his hair where I find it thick and wavy. "Do you see? Can you feel I am just a man?"

I nod my head and he pushes into my body again to finish what he had started.

"Kiss me," he says as he starts moving again.

I keep my hand in his hair and kiss him, pressing my lips against his before he deepens the kiss with a vengeance. I am used to kissing... Amos and I would always kiss in such a way when we were alone... and thinking of Amos makes me wish he was the one on top of me... makes me wish he wasn't cut as he had been and sold into slavery by his own parents when he was only ten.

Instead of seeing a monster, I see Amos with his soft brown eyes and dark hair and dark skin. He always had such a dazzling smile and I hold onto husband's shoulders as I make believe Amos was a free man who could take me as wife as we had always whispered about under the cover of darkness... I can pretend he is the one taking me now...

It makes it easier… but husband's lovemaking is sweet and before long I start feeling it's affects, my entire body tingling and bursting with it's warmth. I've never felt anything like it before. The sensation walks a very in line between pain and pleasure… but it is wonderful… the most wonderful feeling I have ever felt and I can't help but cry out when a pleasurable wave courses through my body.

"I will put a child in you," Husband promises and I imagine it's Amos' kind voice instead of the deep, manly one above me. "I will put many children in you... and these halls will be filled with love and laughter."

I lay under him, lost in the pleasure of my body before he is finally finished. With a kiss against my ear, he rolls off and his weight settles by my side as I stare into the darkness in front of me.

"I will give you everything you want," he says, turning on his side and running his hand along my stomach. "But you must be compliant to me and never ask me about the things I wish for you to not know. I know what's best for you. You must understand that... you must believe that. Yes?"

"Yes," I whisper as his hand rests on my face, his thumb running over my lower lip.

He kisses me again... lingering longer on my lips before pulling back. Even in my blindness I can feel his eyes burning into my skin and I try to cover my breasts, but he stops me.

"You have no need to hide from me. Your body is mine just as my body is yours. There will never be any shame and—"

He stops short and then after a few silent moments, he kisses once more in a hurried way that confuses me.

"I must go."

He gets up and with a rustling of fabric I can imagine him finding his clothes.

"What is it?" I whisper as I reach around for the covers, pulling them over my nakedness and sitting up against the headboard.

"Nothing for you to worry about, my sweetling." He kisses my forehead. "Get your rest now. I will be back tomorrow."

He's gone with a swirl of wind and a moment later, my sight returns me. The moon hangs low in the sky and a few candles are still burning, the wax melting onto the table that lets me know they were never extinguished. There's an ache between my legs and I uncover myself to see... Finding blood between my thighs and on the sheet underneath. I cover my mouth when a sorrow grips me... I am a woman now who has had sex and I will never be the same again...

The thought of having a child scares me and I stand up quickly, like his seed could spill from me if I was upright.

Poor mistress!

The voice comes swooshing into the room and the sheets start to swirl out the window, being replaced by red silken sheets and plush pillows. I hear water behind me and I turn to see a small wash basin with two white cloths waiting for me. I walk over to the table, half limping from the slight pain as I dip the cloth into the basin, getting it completely wet before running it between my thighs. The blood and seed wash away as I stare out of the window, my throat tight and my thoughts jumbled as I try not to cry again.

"Please, Hera, do not let his seed take," I whisper a prayer as I stare at the moon. "Dear Mother, please hear me and do not allow his child to grow inside. Do not give me a son. Not now... Not yet... Please have mercy because I know it will kill me."

I curl up on the bed and stare at the stars from the window until sleep comes and I fall deeply into its embrace while the candles burn down to nothing.

---

Husband comes with the night, bringing his blindness and his warnings and leaves before the sun rises for me to sleep in the darkness of the bedchamber... Days turn to weeks turn to months... and I come to look forward to my meetings with my husband just for the companionship because there is no use trying to find friendship with the ghosts that haunt these halls.

He turns into a gentle lover and I turn into a dutiful wife, listening to him talk about the outside world and drinking up his stories like they were waters that could sustain me. And he listens to me in kind, asking about my childhood and my dreams... What I like... what I don't like... who I've loved.

"Have you ever loved a man?" he asked one night as I rested on top of him, my hair a tangled mess around his chest as I struggled to still my beating heart.

I wondered if all married women derived so much pleasure from laying with their husbands. Surely my mother did not, because she had described the act in such a dour way like it was a duty a woman must succumb to… like brushing your hair… or cleaning your teeth...

"I loved my father," I answered and he laughed at my naivety... kissing my temple that was damp with sweat.

"No, I meant have you ever loved a man as a lover?"

I blushed then, not completely understanding the question but my mind turned to Amos with his soft voice and sweet words... but Amos was not a man... not completely. He could have never been my lover even if I wanted it.

"No," I answered, sure that I was not lying. "I have loved no man before."

"A woman then?" he asked, an amused tilt of his voice as I popped my head up at his question. "Some love both, you know. Passion can strike in the strangest of places."

I'm sure my face was confused because he kissed my furrowed brow.

"Why are you asking me these questions?"

"A husband must know if there is a competitor for his affections," he answered, flipping us so he was hovering over me, his warm breath ruffling my hair as I wrapped my legs around his waist. "I would be sure to bring them a swift death."

"Even a woman?" I asked, a brow arched and nearly smiling as he added a kiss to my collar bone. "You would kill her too?"

"Especially a woman," he said, and I could feel smile on his face even though I could not see it. "Your gender is like a viper in the weeds. Never to be trusted especially when love is involved."

I snorted at the thought. "And men are any better?"

"Ah, man is a simple creature. Give him love, and home, and blood, and he is content. There are no games to be played when men are concerned."

"I find that hard to believe," I whispered my real thought out loud. "The deadliest games are the games of men."

"And behind each game you will find a woman the main player, for sure," he countered. "But you are far too sweet for that." he kissed the area between my breasts and sighed. "The sweetest little flower that ever lived."

When he was done kissing me, he shifted on the bed.

"I have something for you."

"A gift?" I questioned.

"A gift," he confirmed, urging me to sit up. I didn't even bother to cover myself as he moved hair over my shoulders.

"What is it?" I asked as he put something cold around my neck. I brought my hand up to feel as a stone rested against my chest. "A necklace?"

"You will be able to see it once I leave," he said, kissing my cheek as I tried to see the piece with my fingers. "The stone reminded me of you," he explained. "It is as beautiful as your eyes." I blushed that he would even notice. "Keep it close to your heart and I will never be far away from you."

"Thank you," I whispered.

I reached for him, folding myself onto his lap and finding his lips to kiss.

"I was wondering," I ventured once I straddled his waist so we were facing each other. "If I could ask for something."

"What is it?" He kissed my cheek.

"I would like to call upon my parents." His silence was troubling, but I tried to ignore what it could mean. "I haven't seen or heard from them in so long… I would just like to…"

"No."

He cut me off before I could finish.

"No?" I whispered, unsure of his answer as I wrapped my arms around his shoulders.

"I am your family now," he explained, brushing hair away from my face. I furrowed my brow. "You have left your home for a new one. There is no reason to trouble yourself with your past life. The evil's that mortals do will twist your thoughts against me and I can not have that."

I went to ask more, but he silenced me with a kiss. I dared not ask again and spent the rest of the evening tied up in his embrace and the pleasure it brings. That morning, I found a braided chain around my neck made of the finest gold that held a dazzling sapphire circled with pearls. It was completely beautiful and I tried not to be angry with him for denying my request. I had to be grateful.

Grateful was a very good way to survive.

Though he would not give me what I actually wanted, husband does gift me all manner of things. Fine clothes and jewelry... Golden bracelets and heavy necklaces of precious gems...He offers me games to play to fill my boredom and a loom to weave ... Flowers and pets and silver and stones….

With the passing of time, his love grows stronger still and he visits me often. Coming at night and falling asleep with his arms wrapped around me until morning where he takes me again before leaving with a kind word and a kiss.

He even comes during the day... While I'm eating dinner or walking through the balcony garden that is hidden from the world with tall stone walls that grow taller than the trees. He promises me things... wonderful things like happiness and love... but I can not find it in me to promise the same to him.

Not completely.

How could I when I'm still not allowed to know his name? Still not allowed to see his face... still not allowed to call on my family that he says are cursed beings set to destroy our love that is no love at all because I can't love him back. I am a prisoner, I know that, but a part of me wants to just give in to his honeyed words because life would be easier if I can love the shadow that calls himself my lover, my husband, my protector. I know I should. I know that if he was old or if he had a crooked spine... I could love him because I could see him... I could see the world around me and know where I fit in. But in this weird house, I do not know my place.

I am a woman with an invisible husband... a Queen with no subjects... a girl with no friends... an abandoned child and forgotten sister...I have no identity.

Once he came to me during my bath, while I was still cleaning myself and using the scented oils on the ledge. The darkness made me pause and I dropped the container, making it splash into the water.

He laughed and jumped into the bath.

"I'm sorry I was gone for so long," he said, stealing a kiss that I did not know was coming. He had been away for two days, but I had hardly noticed. "I had much work to do."

"What is it you do?" I asked him as he swam around me. I could hear him splashing and moving, but my blindness would not let me see. "Are you a tradesman? Where do you go when you are not here?"

"I am an archer," he answered before grabbing my legs and pulling me under water.

I screamed on my way up, gasping for air and hitting his chest as he laughed at me.

"What kind of an archer?" I asked bitterly, spitting water out uncouthly and feeling no shame when he commented on my unladylike behavior. "Do you kill animals and sell them? Surely you wouldn't have to with all this wealth," I said, pressing my lips together in thought as I pushed wet hair away from my blinded eyes. "Are you a soldier?" I asked when the thought struck me. "A general, perhaps?"

"Perhaps," he joked, pressing his lips to mine. "If I am a soldier, I am of the highest order. Men and Gods alike fear my quiver and bow."

"I shot an arrow once," I said after a moment of silence as his warm hands rested on my waist. "It was great fun, but my mother found out and would not let me do it again."

"Perhaps I will teach you how to shoot straight," he replied, his voice fond with affection as he crept behind me. "You shot me through the heart with one of your poisoned arrows," he whispered against my ear, pulling me to his chest with his hand on my stomach. "Surely you did not mean for it to hit me so hard."

I put my hand over his. "All I wanted was a kind husband," I admitted out loud, thinking of my mother and her avalanche of tears.

"Some people think me cruel," he answered, his lips against my shoulder. "But I will never be cruel to you. Not if you love me."

I didn't have an answer for that, but I let him kiss me and I let him believe in my affection.

More time passes... days turn to night turn to days... and husband stays away long enough for me to become bitter with the situation. His kind words are like a sweet nectar, but taken away and pitted in the loneliness once more I find myself unable to stop my bitter thoughts from seeping in. Humans were made as social creatures... to have friends and family and people to confide in.

Husband doesn't seem to understand or care.

I spend my time at the loom, weaving a tapestry as I had seen my mother do before me. The ghosts play a song as I sit by the open windows, stuck in my own thoughts... and the fantasies I can create of a handsome prince that comes to save me from this fate. Time passes and the wind picks up. I look towards the window, at the sea in the distance as it starts to turn violently before my world goes dark and magic pulls a veil over my eyes.

Husband is home and I turn in my seat when I hear his footsteps approach.

"Where have you been?" I ask, smiling in the fake way I've adopted in his presence. "It's been two weeks. I feared you have forgotten about me."

"Never," he says, and I imagine he's smiling as he helps me to my feet, pressing a kiss against my lips. I rest my hands on his chest, feeling the smooth fabric of his clothes under my fingers. "You've done something different to your hair," he points out and I blush under his gaze.

"Yes," I answer, remembering how I had twisted and braided it when I woke to make the morning pass quicker. "Do you like it?"

"I do."

He runs his hand down my face and I stare into the darkness.

"You've been outside recently," he points out and I nod in agreement. "I can tell... All these freckles on your nose."

I smile at that, a warmness coming to me that I banish away because it's not a trustworthy feeling.

"What kept you away?" I dare to question as I bring both of my hands up to hold onto his collar. "You smell like pine," I point out.

"Nothing too important," he admits as he takes my hand, leading me to one of the lavish couches. "I had to see you."

He pulls me to his lap and kisses me, letting me thread my fingers through his hair so I can taste him.

"You were gone for so long," I admit. "I was lonely."

"Well, I am here now."

He goes in to kiss me, but I gently push him back. "I want to ask a present of you."

"And what is that?" he asks as he kisses my neck.

I press my lips to his head, wanting him to say yes this time.

"Let me see my sisters."

That stops his affection, and he pulls away.

"I know you always say no, but I thought... just my sisters... so I can see how they are... so we can talk about things..."

"What did I tell you last time you asked?"

I hesitate. "You said that everyone who wasn't us was wicked."

"Yes, everyone that isn't us."

I can't help my displeasure and he's quick to kiss me. "Don't be sad, my love. You must understand this. You must know now. Besides... I have good news for you. Better than any gift you could ask of me."

"What is it?" I ask solemnly.

"I came home when I got word from the North wind. I was to be delayed for days, you understand, but I had to come home to see after I was told there was a stranger in this house."

"A stranger?" I say worriedly.

"Yes," he whispers. "I thought the worst. Perhaps it was an evil come to harm you or worse still a man you have taken as a lover... but now that I see you... I know exactly what has happened."

"What?" I ask, my brows furrowed in a firm line.

"My old friend felt another soul... heard another heartbeat... and came to warn me... but here you are..." He places his hand on my stomach. "And here is that second heartbeat. A faint whisper, but there all the same."

"You mean?"

"Yes, a child is growing."

I can't help it... I start crying, removing myself from his lap and trying to get away, only to run into my loom and falling into it, making it all crash and cutting my arm on one of the sharp edges.

"Are you overcome with happiness?" Husband asks worriedly as he helps me untangle myself. "Are these tears of joy?"

He knows better, and I can't answer... instead I tug away from him and sit on the floor, burying my face in my hands and sobbing like a pathetic thing.

"Does this upset you so?" he asks sharply, for the first time since I've been his prisoner, I can hear an anger in his voice. "Carrying my child makes you weep?"

"I don't even know your face," I say as my arm burns, blood dripping down my skin. "You speak of love, but you are cruel. You keep me blind to your presence and keep me in this house with no one but my thoughts to keep me warm. I feel like I'm going mad... I can't go outside in freedom and I don't even know where I am. I hate it here. I hate all of this... I don't care how finely you decorate the halls, this is still a cell and I am still your prisoner. I hate it here... I hate it... I wish I was dead..."

"Don't say such things," he says flatly, grabbing my arm and yanking me to my feet in a violent way. "Don't you dare say such things to me."

"Because I am nothing to you," I hiss, hitting his chest to get him to release me. "Nothing but a doll to be dressed up and played with when ever you see fit. I am nothing."

"You are not nothing. You are everything to me."

"That is not true!" I scream at him and even I am surprised by my outburst. "I am a play thing. Nothing but a toy...I was sold into this marriage that I never wanted and I expected the worst... but I could never expect the silence... the solitude... the torture that it could bring about. I have been abandoned by everyone I hold dear and now I will be giving you a child... giving you another chain to bind me to this awful life. I hate it... I hate it all... and I hate you too."

The words bring with it a deafening silence... even the wind refuses to move as husband stares me down. In the darkness I can feel his steely gaze, but I refuse to back down. I clench my jaw and face forward, refusing to cringe away.

"You don't mean that." He grabs my arm. "You don't mean that!" His shouting makes me draw away, because I am not sure if he would hit me or not. "I know you don't mean that. You love me." He grabs my face. "I can see it when I'm here, when I'm inside of you. You love me even if your mind has not caught up with your heart. You love me!"

"Saying it doesn't make it so," I say cruelly. "If you loved me, you would give into my wishes to see my family... You would allow me that freedom. I have asked for nothing else... If I thought you truly loved me then perhaps I could love you in return. But you don't and I can't."

"You have no idea what I've done to get you here... to keep you safe. You have no idea what oaths I had to break..." he trails off.

There's a long, silent pause...

"I could make you," He breaks the silence with a deep, haunting voice. "I could make you want me. I could make it burn.."

He puts his hand on my chest, his finger tapping against the bone between my breasts.

"You would be ravenous in lust for me. A slave to your passions night and day with no rest in between. Not sleeping, hardly eating, and barely living your own life in want of me. You would tremble at my voice," he says darkly, his hand moving to the small of my waist. "Your thighs soaked at the very thought of me being near you. And you would always think of me near you," His lips press against my ear, his breath sending a tingle down my spine. "The only time you would ever find relief is when I am moving inside of you. Then, and only then, would you feel whole again and once I was done, you would find yourself tormented once more."

"Why don't you do it?" I whisper.

"I want it to last forever," he says, stepping back and leaving me cold. "I want it to be real. I want your love, and your lust, and everything you have to offer. And I want you to give it all to me by your own volition. I will not take it with a poisoned arrow. You must love me. I know you must or else I would not feel as strongly as I do. I know the fates would not allow it to be so." He pauses for a moment. "Is it wrong of me to want that?"

For the first time, he sounded unsure.

"I shouldn't be questioning myself," he says flatly, sounding angry again.

He lets go of my arm and my sight comes back to show an empty room.

I feel guilty for half a second before I see the long gash on my arm. I hiss in pain and grab a blanket to help stop the blood. The voice comes to help, invisible hands mending my wound with ointments and bandages.

You should be kind... The voice whispers. Be kind and be sweet...

"Why must I always be sweet?" I snap. "Why must I always do what everyone tells me?"

The voice doesn't answer and that night when I go to bed there is an oil lamp alight with an odd golden flame.

If you want his return... the voice whispers... Cover the flame... I look at the iron dome nearby and furrow my brows. It is the God's fire to burn through the darkest nights...

Weeks pass... and my stomach grows... and husband stays away. If husband meant to punish me for my awful words, then staying away was a jab I did not expect to feel so painfully, but I refuse to cover the flame. I refuse to call him to me when he was in the wrong.

The child grows with my resentment... until the wind comes and the voice presses it's cold lips to my ear.

Do not speak of your husband... The voice warns and I furrow my brows, sitting in the garden on the second floor and trying to revel in the sun. Do not tell the secrets of this house...Do so at your own peril and the peril of the child in your womb...

"What?" I hiss but a moment later I hear the loud knocking that echos through the house and fills the air. "What?" I say again but for an altogether different reason as I follow the sound into the house and down the empty halls until I find a great red door on the lower level... a door I am sure has never been there before... "What?" I say finally before the door creaks open and on the other side of the threshold are my older sisters.

"Dear sister!" Danika, the oldest of the two embraces me in a tight hug. She is wearing a thick woolen cloak of the northern regions and her dark hair is tied away from her face with silver bands. "We thought you were dead!"

I laugh in joy as Rosemund, the shyer of the two hugs me and kisses my cheeks. She has black hair like our father's and it shines like onyx in the sun. She looks older than I remember, her eyes twitchy and worn.

"We are so pleased to see you," she whispers, taking my hands with her eyes swimming in tears. "We could barely believe it when we got the summons to come here. We feared the worst, you know..." she trails off and looks me over. "You are with child," she says when she sees the swell of my belly. "Oh, what a happy day to find you so content."

"What is this place you call home?" Danika pushes past me, always so bossy as she looks around the hall with her eyes widening at all the wealth. "This is beautiful."

"Yes," I nod, a blush of pride coming to my cheeks as both of them walk further into the home, touching the fabric and running fingers over the expensive furnishings.

"Your husband must be a very rich lord," Rosemund whispers in awe. "This is finer than any hall my King Husband has."

"Where are your servants?" Danika asks as she takes off her cloak. After having two children, she has gained weight and become quite chubby around the middle, but her face was still beautiful, her eyes still as dark as the earth.

Before I can answer, the invisible hands come to take her cloak, swishing past her and taking the riding bag off of Rosemund's shoulder in the process.

"Magic..." Rosemund answers. "This is a magical house as well."

"What fortune," Danika says, her eyes slightly narrow. "What luck you always seem to have."

If they only knew... but I will not trouble them with my misfortune so I bring them into the dining hall, where a warm, fine feast is waiting for us.

"Will you stay?" I ask seriously. "I saw your trunks."

"Oh yes," Danika nods her head as she bites into her meat. "We will stay for a fortnight."

My heart swells in happiness before I realize something troubling.

"Why did you think I was dead?" I ask after they chat about the food and the decoration for a lengthy time.

"What was that?" Danika asks as she swallows two goblets of wine.

"Why would you say you thought I was dead? Of course you know I was married..."

My sisters share a look before Danika puts down her wine and smiles at me.

"We have not heard of your since you were left on the cliff. Mother and Father thought the worst... The whole country was mourning your death..."

"But I am not dead," I say, hardly able to eat with the knowledge heavy on my heart. "You must tell them I am alive... You must tell them I am not lost..."

"Of course we will." Rosemund reaches out and pats my hand. "But look at this splendor where you live. What kind of Lord is your husband?"

"Uh..." I fumble with the words, remembering the warning of the voice and... and finding myself embarrassed to even admit the truth of what I had been living with... a shadow... a jailer... a fiend...

"Where is everyone?" Danika finally asks, saving me from answering. "Where is this husband of yours and the workers of the house?"

"Husband is shy," I admit, using my mothers words to soften the blow of my humiliation. "He is very kind, but prefers favors of magic over people," I say, just as the invisible hands fill my sister's goblet. I can feel the eyes of my older sisters on me now... making me uncomfortable like they could see right through the lie. "He is out hunting now," I lie quickly. "With a party of his advisers. He will not return for days, I believe."

"What is he like?" Rosemund asks gently. "Is he good to you?"

"Look around you," Danika says bitterly. "Who cares how good he is when you get to live in such as this."

"He is very good to me," I try to reassure the sister I had loved, giving Rosemund a soft smile. "He is not much older than me," I lie again, liking the way it makes me feel to see their eyes flash in envy at the thought. "He is very handsome, with a beard just starting to grow on his face... and he loves me..." I smile again, bringing my hand up to touch the roundness of the baby. If the lie was reality, my whole world would glow in joy. "He gifts me many things and he is very sweet to me."

"How lucky," Rosemund says, her eyes sparkling. "I wish I could say the same..." She trails off with a sigh before shaking her head like she realized she should not have said anything. "My husband has become very pious to the Gods... praying morning, noon, and night..."

"Does he not lay with you anymore?" Danika says, squinting her eyes. "Surely someone so pious has time to still visit his wife's bed?"

"I fear I will never have a child of my own," she says, tears stinging her eyes that she dabs away with the corner of her napkin. "But it is no matter, there is still time."

She gives me a sad smile, and I smile back in sympathy for her pain.

"Take a lover then," Danika says with a flip of her hand and I look at her in surprise. "A lover is sure to fill your womb and if you seduce your husband but once he can not deny the baby is his."

"That is an awful thing to say," Rosemund hisses, looking around like she thought a spy could hear such traitorous talk. "I made a promise in front of the Gods to be faithful. If I was caught with another man..."

"The worst he can do is divorce you and perhaps then you will find a man who can stand upright."

"He would not divorce me," she hisses. "I could not be returned home... I would be locked up in a cell the rest of my life or find my head on a spike."

"I have many lovers," Danika announces loudly. "A passionate lover truly makes you come alive," she says, winking at me in that bold way that she has. "I could never live with just one man for the rest of my days... especially one as decrepit as my husband."

"And the children?" I ask, my hand on my stomach once more.

"What about them?"

I was going to ask her if they belonged to her husband, but stopped myself when I realize I did not really want to know the damning truth. Instead, I take a sip from my own goblet and smile a little when the music starts up to ease the tension.

"What of you, dear Psyche?" Danika pops a fig into her mouth and watches me closely. "Is your husband lover enough?"

"Yes," I admit with a deep stain of a blush on my face. "But I shouldn't talk about such things."

I'm quick to stuff my face with the nearest dish to get her to stop talking to me.

"A young, handsome, rich husband who lives in a palace by the sea. I've always wondered how you got to be so fortunate, dear sister," Danika says, looking around the room once more. "Ever since you were born, it seems that all the heavens smiled down on you. Even mother and father favored you over us," she says motioning to Rosemund. "I thought for sure one could not be so lucky but here you are... as happy as can be...Sometimes it is hard to swallow," she admits and I give her a troubled look, before glancing at Rosemund for support, but finding her looking away as well.

"What family does your husband come from?" Rosemund clears her throat, trying to give me a sunny smile. "What is his name? I fear we were never told such information," she says, flicking her eyes to Danika who is still stewing. "You were spirited off so quickly...and even now I do not know where we are... A swirling gale brought us here."

"His name?" I ask, trying to buy myself time as I try to come up with something to say.

How awful would it sound to admit I did not know that... Incredibly awful, I imagine, so I say the first thing that comes to mind.

"Agenor."

"Agenor?" Danika questions as she sees me knotting my fingers.

"Yes. His name is Agenor, son of Cadmus of Tyre..."

"Cadmus of Tyre..." Danika narrows her eyes. "Why is that familiar?" She looks at Rosemund. "Do we know of Cadmus of Tyre?"

"Isn't that eunuch from Tyre?" Rosemund answers as I slump a little in my seat.

"Yes, I believe so," Danika goes to find out more, but I stand up.

"Would you like me to show you around?" I question, smiling brightly in a fake way that makes my oldest sister suspicious. "Come. Let me show you everything."

They follow me around the estate, making comments and asking questions I could never know the answer to as I try to lie my way through it all.

"Yes, my husband is a very particular in his taste... Yes, he has dark hair... Yes, he has fought in battles and has the scars to prove it..."

Lie after lie builds up and I am thankful when night comes and it is time to separate and sleep. Husband doesn't come... and the days pass in my sisters company like a dream. We laugh and play games and talk about our lives and our childhood as the ghosts of the house wait on us hand and foot. Danika's insistent questions never cease, though, and during the second week, the night before it was time for their departure, she catches me in a lie.

"But of course I am excited to give birth," I say as we dine in the garden. "Perhaps it will be a girl... but perhaps a boy... hopefully whatever it ends up being, he or she will have golden hair like their father."

"Golden hair?" Danika raises an eyebrow. "I thought you said you husband had dark hair?"

"Is that what I said?" I ask, a blush creeping up my neck. Rosemund nods when I look at her and I swallow more wine. "I must have been mistaken... My husband has blonde hair."

"Agenor," Danika says flatly. "Your husband."

"Yes... he has golden hair..." I feel uncomfortable by her glower and I turn away to avoid it.

That night, before bed, I gift my sisters with necklaces and earrings made of golds, silvers, and precious gemstones. They take them graciously and retire to their rooms to rest for their long journey home. I try to sleep, but become restless and toss and turn until I hear a creak on the floor boards and I look up when my sister appears in the doorway, holding a candle that lights her heavy face in a golden glow.

"May I come in?" Danika asks, her night dress a large billowing tent.

I nod and sit up, nervously swallowing as she walks into the room and sets the candle down on the table by my God's flame that is forever burning.

"What is it? Do you need anything?"

Danika smiles at my questions and sits by my side.

"Little sister," she says gently as she reaches out to push hair over my shoulder. "Sweet little Psyche..."

I smile uncomfortably at her.

"I have been thinking."

"About what?" I ask softly.

"About you... and this house... and your husband..." she smirks at me. "You know.. when you said Cadmus of Tyre... I couldn't place where I heard that name before and tonight I remembered. A traveling band of singers came to our home when you were just a little thing and sang a song of Cadmus of Tyre. How he was a foolish king who fell in love with a horse so the Gods punished him. Do you remember that?"

I don't say anything.

"The thing is, Cadmus of Tyre is not real... and I think your husband is not real either. Or at least, not as you have described him to be. You have never been a good liar, little sister, I can see it written all over your face. Tell the truth to me now."

At her prodding, my eyes tear up and I reach forward to hug her like a child, sobbing against her neck as I admit the sobering truth of my life. I did not know who my husband was... he was nothing to me but a shadow... I have hated him...and I have never seen his face...

"Is it terrible?" I asked between sobs after explaining the lamp by my side that is always burning... always a flaming gold. "I don't know what to do."

"I hesitate telling you this," she says seriously, pulling back to wipe tears away from my face. "I hardly wanted to believe it myself but now that I see... now that I know... I have no doubt of it's truth."

"What? What is it?"

"Do you remember when father went to see the oracle?"

Of course I remember, he went after half his kingdom had died from the plague and even more were starving from the famine.

"The oracle told father you must marry the man on mountain. That is what he told you... that is what Mother told you as well."

"Yes..."

"They did not tell you all of what the oracle said. You and our entire kingdom had to be punished for the pride and dismissive attitudes towards the Gods. Our father helped spur these awful things, likening you to the goddess Aphrodite herself. So you can see how you needed to be punished for it. You understand?"

I don't say anything to that, I swallow hard.

"The oracle told our father that you would marry not a man but a beast. An ugly monster with scales and wings that ate children in their sleep, feared by men and Gods alike. She said that your husband would be an awful creature, horrid and evil... and that in all your life, you will never know happiness."

"Is that true?" I ask, my eyes shining with tears.

She nods. "After you were taken, we thought for sure the monster had killed you, but when you wrote to us..."

"I didn't write to you," I say quickly.

"Someone did, using your name..." she looks around the room now, feeling uneasy. "You must leave this place. No man has this much wealth so it must be a beast as the oracle said..." she trails off. "You say you have never seen him. That must be why. He must be an awful thing to behold."

"But I felt him," I whine, my hands shaking with fear. "He feels like a man.. he has smooth skin and hair.. and I swear he feels just like a man."

"This house is full of magic," she says, looking at the ceiling. "How easy would it be to trick one mortal woman?" She looks over my face before focusing on my stomach. "What are you growing, dear sister?"

"It's just a baby," I whisper, my lower lip trembling... "You don't think..."

"If it is not a beast like your husband, then surely he plans to eat him once you have given birth. You know that. Surely you must."

I turn away, my brows furrowed in a deep line.

"I don't think I can leave," I admit. "I have tried a thousand times, but the windows throw me back and the door... well, there has never been a door before."

"If you cannot leave with us in the morning, then you must do what has to be done."

"What has to be done?" I ask and then she takes a blade from her clothes, showing me the a shining dagger.

"You need to protect yourself. You need to see what your husband looks like and you must kill the beast. Kill him before it kills you."

She leaves the dagger with me and with a kiss of my cheek she is gone back to her room.

I can not sleep and when morning comes, I attempt to walk out that red front door, but the house shuts down and swallows me back inside, leaving me staring at the solid wall. More a prisoner than ever, I spend the rest of the day anxious and fearful with my hand over the child inside of me, wondering what it could be as my sister's words eat into my heart. It makes sense now. It all makes sense... How my mother cried and my father was so somber... how they all looked at me like they were so very sorry. How my marriage had truly been a sacrifice.

When night comes, I hide the dagger under my pillow and look at the lamp on the table... The oil lamp that burns forever hot in golden light... I gather my courage and cover the flame with the iron dome that makes my world dark with nothing but the moon to guide me.

Hours pass before husband comes, but I shiver when the darkness shields my eyes and I sit up in the bed to wait for his approach.

"You have finally called on me," he says, his voice so deep and sounding sad. "I thought you have forsaken my love."

"You allowed my sisters to come," I say, trying to keep my voice steady as I stand up. "Thank you."

I feel him come near and then he brings his hand up to my face.

"Do you see now that my feelings are true?"

"Yes," I say, taking his hand and pressing a kiss to his palm. "I am so sorry," I admit, unsure of what I am apologizing for. What I had said or what I planned to do.

"Why all these tears?" he asks, brushing tears away from my face. I didn't even realize I was crying. "Hush now. I am here."

I let him kiss me and then he starts removing my dress.

I stop his hands.

"Do you not want me?" he asks, sounding hurt.

"The baby," I whisper pathetically.

"It won't hurt," he says seriously. "I know this, yes?"

I'm troubled, but I let him take what he wants anyways to make my night go faster. He is sweet in his lovemaking, with soft kisses and apologies as he makes my body his. He is always such a passionate lover... I find it hard not to enjoy his company. He stays long and takes me again before falling asleep and when I hear his slumber beside me, I shift on the bed.

"Come here," he whispers, half groggy with sleep as he pulls me close again. "Do not leave."

"Yes," I say softly, settling against his chest and listening to his very human heart beat.

I try again when his sleep seems to come once more and he doesn't wake or pull me back when I sit on the side of the bed and pull the dagger from the hiding place. I reach around in the dark, hoping not to wake him as I remove the iron dome. The darkness flames to life, waking the darkness in my eyes and bringing the world back into focus away from husband's magic.

I grab the lamp as quietly as I can before turning it towards my husband who is laying on his stomach.

His back looks human enough... fine, smooth skin... unblemished and beautiful... His hair is light, sandy blonde and shaggy. He has an odd light about him, not luminous, but something otherworldly that I can only think of as glowing. I inhale deeply before gathering my courage to walk around the bed to look upon his face.

As I draw near, with the fear of my sister's words creeping into my mind... I can't help but gasp at what I see.

He is beautiful... The most handsome man I have ever seen in my entire life. With a straight nose and a strong jaw, he is so pleasing to the eye that I can not look away for fear of missing his perfection. I kneel beside him, my knees pressing into the cold floor as I hold the lamp over his head to see him better. He is no monster... he is the most divine thing I have ever encountered and I find my breath catching when he inhales deeply, making his chest rise and fall. I've never been so taken by someone's appearance before and I can't help but be awed by how fine his features are… how clear his skin is… how perfect the angles and planes that make up his face are.

With the dagger still in my hand, I move forward to get a closer look. To see his long lashes that frame well formed eyes…. To see his straight eyebrows just a shade darker than his hair...To see how perfect his lips are bowed…

I want to kiss him.

I want to love him.

How could he stay hidden from me? How could he make love to me and not show me this beauty? Why would he?

Oil from the never ending lamp drips when I move my hand and it lands on his shoulder, sizzling against his skin and waking him instantly.

His handsome face looks so surprised to see me staring at him and he scrambles back.

He has green eyes, as dark and dazzling as emeralds.

"What have you done?" he says, his voice sounds so strange now that I see the face it comes from. "What have you done!"

I stand quickly to explain myself, but he notices the dagger in my hand and the betrayal makes his vibrant eyes go dark.

"You have ruined everything," he says as great wings spring from his back like magic in the air. I gasp and fall back, dropping the lamp as he stands tall by the window, looking so heartbroken with the wings brown and white like a birds behind him. "Did you really hate me so much to want me dead after I betrayed so much to keep you safe?" he asks before jumping out of the window and flying into the night.

I run after him, crying for him to return so I can explain myself. So I can tell him what a misunderstanding this all was, but a swirl of wind comes and the palace disappears in a puff of smoke... I fall through the sky and land on the my back in the beautiful meadow I had first appeared in.

The fall was not hard, but a breaking pain courses through my body at my loss. All that I have is what I came with... The purple dress and the bracelets from my father feel like a different skin on me now and I bring my hand up to my neck, sighing in relief to feel the necklace Husband had given me still in it's rightful spot beside my heart. The palace does not reappear. It is lost to me as are the voices that used to help me along.

I look up at the stars, crying until I have no tears left and I reach down to place my hand over the child inside of me.

"We are truly lost now," I whisper, my throat tight with sorrow as I give into the despair.

---

"Of course you can not return to the home of our father," Danika says, sitting high on her throne, dressed in red and gold. "You are a destitute woman heavy with child. You would bring shame to our house!"

My clothes are ragged and my skin dirty, I know that... I must look that part of a pauper but I had traveled hard to get to my sister, to explain to her how wrong we were and to beg her council. I have sold most of my jewelry. Only two golden earrings and the gift of a necklace remain, looking so out of place on my unworthy neck. I have been met with icy disregard from the moment I stepped foot into her kingdom, so much so that I feel broken anew in her presence.

"Sister," I implore with my hands clasped together as her husband snores through my cries from his chair beside Danika. "We were so very wrong. My husband was no monster, but a beautiful creature not of this world and he loved me. I know that now."

I hesitate saying what I truly thought he was for fear of angering the Gods if I was wrong.

"You have upset the Gods once again, dear sister," she says as I stare at her in slack jawed confusion. "You must leave this place at once in case their wrath has followed you here." She looks towards her husband and prods him awake. "Do you agree, my King?"

The old man shakes away his sleep and his milky eyes look on me before blinking and looking at his young wife. "Yes... Yes, I agree," he mumbles before nodding off again.

"Sister!" I call to get her to see and the king jumps before his snores continue. "You were the one who convinced me to betray my husband. You were the one who gave me the dagger to harm him and put the poisoned thoughts in my mind! Will you truly not help me now?"

"You were the one who carried out such vile acts against your own husband," she says hatefully, her eyes lined in kohl and her face painted white. "The blame is your own as will be your penance."

She snaps and a guard comes to seize me.

"But you can not call me heartless, dear sister. I will send you off with bread and water for the child you are carrying," she says, snapping again. A man comes forth and hands me a small bag of provisions. "You can not say I was not kind to you, dear Psyche."

"Danika!" I yell as the man starts to drag me from the throne room. "Why are you doing this to me?"

She doesn't answer, and the door slams in my face. I'm thrown from her palace, into the mud by the burly guard with a callous flick of his hand.

"The Queen says you must not return," he says, his voice a groggy mess in his throat as he looks me over with a leer.

I am used to men looking at me in such a way and I try to ignore it as I struggle to my feet.

He throws the bag at me and disappears. I stare, dumbfounded as an old gray horse with mangy fur is walked my way by a young boy.

"My father said I should bring you my horse," he whispers, looking around to see if anyone will see his crime. "His name is Pyke." He pats the horse's neck. "He's old, but good and loyal," he adds with a little smile at the thought. "You will like him."

"Why did your father want to give me your horse?" I question.

The boy blushes, his face almost purple.

"He saw you walk in," he says, bowing his head. "Says you are so beautiful. Says you must be a goddess in disguise and wants to show kindness."

"I am not a goddess," I explain softly. "I'm just an unfortunate girl."

He hands me the horse's reins. "Take him all the same."

He smiles at me, his ears pink and his hair a mess about his head.

"Thank you," I say gratefully, taking out one of my golden earrings and handing it to him. "Take my payment."

The boy pushes the earring back at me, shaking his head. "No… No… Just take Pyke and be on your way. Treat him kindly and feed him well. He is my best friend."

I smile at the boy, tears of gratitude swimming in my eyes.

"How old is he?" I ask as I let him help me mount the saddle.

The boy doesn't answer, just mutters something about him being a good horse before I gather the reins and say goodbye.

"I will remember this," I tell the boy as I urge the horse forward. "I will remember and try my best to pay you back."

He waves me off as the horse trudges down the path. He has a slow walk, a tired continence... but I can't blame the poor creature because I am just as broken. I think of going to my homeland, but the words of my wicked sister seep deeper into my soul. I have brought awful tidings to my parents before... I can not do it again...

I ride for days and nights... staying with strangers and paying with the gold that I have left until I reach the home of my second sister, Rosemund. For sure I will find sympathy with her because she has always been the sweetest of us all.

"I am here to see my sister," I announce to the guards when I get within the city limits. "The Queen Rosemund."

They take one look at me and laugh.

"Tell her her little sister is here. Tell her Psyche has come to visit." I demand, my voice harder than I thought possible.

They're still laughing as they disappear, but when they come back, their faces aren't half as humorous. A man leads them, a tall man with a squirmy face and bushy eyebrows

"The Queen bids you good tiding," he says, bending at his waist as I struggle to remove myself from the horse. "But regrets that she can not receive you at this time."

"What do you mean?" I ask desperately.

"She has received word from your older sister saying that you carry the wrath of Gods with you and can not permit you with in the city gates. For the safety of her people and her good king husband."

"That can't be so... If you just let me talk with her..."

"She says she wishes you the best in your quest for peace," he says, reaching forward and handing me a money purse and a woolen brown cloak. "For you and the child to be on your way."

"This can't be right," I say, tears blurring my eyes. "If you just let me talk with her... if you just let me see her!"

"I am afraid the Queen was quite adamant about this," he says, looking unconformable by my tears. "She wishes you the best."

With that he leaves... and the doors are shut after him.

I have a moment of madness... of giving into my despair and beating my chest from my sorrow and loneliness... but on a hill top nearby, I see a great temple with a fire burning inside of it. Perhaps if I pray, the Gods can forgive and help me if my family can not. I throw the cloak over my shoulders and mount dear Pyke again. I set us off in the way of the hill, my thoughts dark and desperate as I think of death and suffering. Halfway up the, Pyke stops walking, and I slide from his back to see what is the matter.

"What is it?" I ask, taking some food from my bag to feed him. "Are you hungry?"

The horse resists the food and with awkward legs, attempts to lay down in the middle of the road.

"What's wrong?" I ask as I kneel beside him, petting the side of his head. "Are you hurt?"

The horse watches me with large brown eyes and thunder claps over head. I look up at the gathering clouds and shake my head.

"No... No..." I try to push Pyke into standing up. "Come on, Pyke. It's going to rain. We must walk a little further to shelter."

The horse is too heavy and I fear straining myself more with the baby kicking inside of me to show its displeasure.

"Come on, boy. I can not leave you," I say as I tug on his reins. "Please get up."

The rain starts, a little drizzle at first before pouring down in sheets. I look down at poor Pyke and take off the cloak. I cover as much of his head as I can and I stare out over the kingdom of my sister as the gray sky makes the world seem dull and lifeless. The water splashes, making mud and beating down on my back as old Pyke inhales rattling breaths that sound like death.

I give him a worried look as the rain blurs my vision of the villages nearby.

"Poor Pyke," I whisper, running my hand down his face as he closes his eyes. "All has forsaken us, my friend. I brought this curse on you and I am sorry for it."

Just as I say that, the horse's rattling breath stops and I give him another troubled glance.

"Pyke?" I lower the cloak, letting the rain hit me hard. "Pyke?"

I get on my knees beside him and try to shake him awake, but his mouth lolls open and his tongue pops out.

"Don't be dead," I whisper, tears hot on my cheeks and disappearing with the rain. "Come on, Pyke."

I push him longer than I should... pleading long after he's dead... and when I resolve the situation with myself, I cover as much of his body as I can with the wooly cloak before picking up my bag and starting back up the hill. I trip, I fumble, I scream in frustration before reaching the doors of the temple. There is a great fire burning in front of a statue of Demeter... incense wafting into the air with the twisted dance of colored smoke.

No priest or priestess comes out to greet me, so I walk towards the great altar to throw myself down at the feet of the great goddess, but I find a series of offerings in disarray. Barley, wheat, and all manner of harvest things are in messy heaps against the floor. With shaking, wet hands I sort them in their proper piles, remembering my mother offering such things to the goddess and explaining that a sacrifice of wheat and land must be neat to curry favor... and perhaps the great Goddess will take pity on me.

Once they are all sorted, I fall to my knees and stare up at the alabaster statue clothed in riches with rain water dripping from my body. Words fail me until there is a shooting pain in my stomach and I whimper, curling into my self.

"Please... Please...Please..." Is all I manage to get out until I feel a hand on my shoulder, making the pain disappear.

"Dearest Psyche."

I try to wipe my tears away as a woman in blue clothes passes by me, her skirt falling against the ground as small plants sprout behind her. Her hair is covered by a flowing veil, embroidered with serpents and winged lizards. She has a womanly figure under her robes.. a sweet smell wafting from her persons.

"Such a sad sight you are," she sighs, her voice as pleasing as a bell. "It is not easy to bear a child," she says, her back to me as she lights more candles along the altar, flaming them with an odd green fire. "It is even harder to bear the child of a God." I widen my eyes in surprise at her words, and swallow the stone in my throat. "Harder still to incur the rage of another."

I don't say anything... I can't... and when she turns around, I fall back.

She has the same golden glow around her as my husband. Her features are beautiful beyond compare, with auburn hair curled around her face and large eyes that hold a sharp intelligence that shimmer in a deep, inhuman purple. She carries youth in her features, but her eyes are old. Older than time and older than anything I have ever seen.

"Jealousy is not just a human condition, I am afraid," she says, giving me a gentle smile. "It is a poison felt by even the humblest of hosts."

"Can you help me?" I ask, unable to look away from her ethereal face. "I don't know what I have done..."

"Does it matter?" she asks, raising a brow at my trembling hands. "The truth is that a rage follows you wherever you may go. You were to be married off to a beast as punishment for sure, but the charms that enraged my dear friend Aphrodite have also ensnared her son who was meant to deliver you to an awful fate. Instead, he decided to keep you for his own. Now my friend's rage grows more violent still after hearing of your betrayal to her loved Eros."

"I did not know," I whisper, my eyes blurring with tears. "And my sisters..."

"Jealousy becomes no one," she says sagely. "It's a piercing spear and you will do well to remember that." She walks around me as I stay slumped in a puddle on her temple floor. "Eros meant to show himself to you in time, you know," she says as she walks around me. "Otherwise he would not have had the God's flame in your home."

"Why would he stay hidden from me?" I implore. "Why would he not just ease my worries from the start and all of this would never have come to pass."

"Who are you to question the motives of a God?" she asks. I beg her mercy and apologize, but she just smiles softly. "You would have died," she explains. "To see him in all his glory as he was intimate with you. The soft minds of mortals can not sustain our presence without perishing and perhaps he wanted your love to be true... Not one born of fear or awe. He knows better than anyone how twisted affections can be. Eros betrayed his mother's orders to take you as a wife, I doubt he wanted you dead and lost to him after risking so much."

"But..." I blink, not understanding because I could see her now... and I could see Eros with the God's flame...

"You have the blood of a God inside of you now," she explains like she could read the question on my face. "That changes everything."

I run a hand over the roundness of my belly, frowning at the thought.

"Will death be my only release from this curse?" I ask as I think of the love I threw away so callously.

"No, sweet child." She reaches forward and cups my face into her warm hands. "Your death will serve no purpose. To be a restless soul in the land of Hades will do no good to you or anyone else who loves you."

"No one loves me," I whisper spitefully before looking up into her dark purple eyes once more. "Let me serve you," I begin groveling at her feet, placing myself as low as my stomach will allow with my hair sweeping the floor as I beg. "I have known hunger and I have known sorrow. I am not fit to go back into the world I once knew. I will swear myself at your altar and be a loyal priestess of your temple. I will take no land, no claim, and I will stay covered... so no one will see my offending face. I will honor you the rest of my life, if only you give me shelter from the rage that follows me. I will know peace under your roof and I will dedicate the rest of my life to your cause. I swear it!"

"If no one loved you, you would have perished a long time ago," she says seriously. "I wish I could help you, but I can not go against my friend who is as close me as my own daughter." The tears come fast, and the snot drips from my nose. I am too upset to be ashamed by my appearance. "You must go to the temple of Aphrodite and beg for forgiveness. Show her your tears and repentance as you have shown me and perhaps she will see what a sweet girl truly are. Only then will your happiness will be restored to you."

"Do you think it will matter?" I ask sadly, curling my hands into fists. "If she hates me so, can forgiveness be achieved for a slight I didn't even know I had committed? And my husband," I whisper, thinking of him now and seeing his handsome face in the darkness. "How could he ever forgive now that he has forsaken me?"

"Anything can be forgiven," she reassures me as she takes my hands and helps me to my feet, drying my tears with the edge of her veil. "You have a unique opportunity, sweet girl," she says, brushing wet hair away from my face. "You carry a child in your womb who is the blood of the Gods and even more the blood of divine Aphrodite herself. Plead your case and put yourself at her mercy. I am sure you will be surprised by what you find. You can not win back the affection of your god husband without settling the score with his divine mother."

"Thank you," I whisper as she pulls me into her embrace, hugging me like a mother would a child. "Thank you so much."

"Do not thank me yet," she says, pulling back and holding onto my shoulders. "Remember that you are not alone, even when the night is at it's darkest and the world seems to have abandoned you."

She reaches forward, giving my necklace a thoughtful look as she rolls it between her pale fingers.

"We all reap what we have sown in time and justice is a winged beast in the shadows. Remember that and remember your graces. All is not lost, child."

With that she is gone.. and so is her temple, leaving me alone on an empty hillside with nothing but the rain to keep me company. I turn my face up to the sky, my arms out stretched as I try to build my courage for what must come next... until I hear a sloshing gallop from below and I look behind me to see Pyke trudging his way towards me with his head bent against the wind.

"Pyke!" I shout as I go running over to him, pressing thankful kisses against his nose. "Oh, thank the gods you are alive!"

I hug his neck, wanting the old beast to feel my gratitude before finding my resolve and pulling my cloak from his back. The same cloak I thought would be his death shroud.

"Now we must make haste, Pyke," I say, determination in my voice as I climb onto his back. "We must go to the temple of the Goddess Aphrodite and plead our case."

He seems more virile than before and he takes off, trotting down the hill like a young stallion with his head high and proud. I smile against the storm, for the first time since my fall feeling as though tomorrow will be better.

---

The great hall of Aphrodite is an imposing place... With tall walls that reach far into the sky and statues of beautiful youths in various scenes of love and lust. A great fire burns at the heart of the room, it's flames licking high into the air as maids from all different backgrounds feed the God's flame with sacrifices of beautiful flowers and birds hearts. It glows in a pink gold flame... casting everything around it in a misleading loveliness that burns like ice.

They all look at me as I approach and before I can say a word they scramble from the room, tripping over their robes to get away from me and whispering prayers to their sovereign goddess behind sparkling silver veils. Left alone with the fire and the statues... I swallow hard as I look around... seeing the mosaics on the walls... scenes of the sea and the foam where the mighty Aphrodite had started her life as a Goddess.

"Divine Goddess," I start, clearing my throat when I find it too tight. "I implore you—"

"Implore! Implore! Implore!" two mocking voices shout in unison and I turn around, trying to find the owner of those voices hiding in the shadows of the pillars.

"I have come to beg—"

"Beg! Beg! Beg!" they shout followed by a cackling laugh.

The fear is ice cold, but I try to be brave.

"Please, I have come—"

The light disappears, leaving me with nothing but the God's flame and it's pink fire where the rest of the temple is inky, unseeable darkness.

"I have come to beg for forgiveness for whatever I may have done to wrong you," I say, staring into the pink fire. "To plead for mercy for myself and the unborn child I carry."

"The bastard you carry!" one of the voices shrieks.

"What?" I can't help but say, looking desperately into the darkness when I hear the fluttering of wings. "It will be a true born child," I say breathlessly with fear. "The child of my husband."

"Was there anyone there to witness this marriage?" I feel an ice cold whisper in my ear. "Did you take an oath? Make a pledge before Gods and father?"

I fumble with my answer, and the cackling laugh comes back.

"That is no true born babe!" a different voice says as something swoops past me and rips the cloak away from my shoulders with a violent tug that jerks me forward. "A bastard of a low born mortal! Not fit for the blood it possesses!"

Another swoop comes near and claws come out to violently scratch my face. I yell in pain and turn away, covering my cheek and pulling back to find my fingers covered in blood.

"A bastard you will die giving birth to!" the voice continues, pushing me until I fall on my knees. "And you will be punished in Hades for thinking yourself equal to the Gods!"

Something rips my dress and a violent wailing rains down upon my back. Tearing my skin and making me cry out as the pain burns red hot. The claws shred my back into bloody ribbons as I struggle against the torture.

"Look how she screams!" the voices taunt as I try to protect my stomach from the violence. "See how she cries!"

Something grabs my hair and yanks my head back... pulling the clips away so my hair tumbles down around my shoulders.

"Look at this matted mess!" one of the voices screeches as I try to get away from the hand tugging at my scalp. "This will do no good for such a beauty!"

It laughs as it sheers my hair... waves and waves of brown curls falling on my lap until the hair that once danced down my waist... rested just below my ears.

"Please," I whisper painfully with my hands on the floor. "Please, stop this."

"Look at the high lady now!" another flap of wings overhead and I cringe away. "Making demands of us!"

"That will not do!" the other voice yells before grabbing my hair once more and bashing my head into the hard, unforgiving ground.

It rattles my brain and makes me lose thought... Stuck in between waking and sleeping, I can not even cry as I try to register the pain. I can taste blood in my mouth and a few teeth are loose on the right side... but my body can not move.. my voice can not speak... and I close my eyes, letting a dark sleep take me to dull the pain I feel all over.

I wake in the same position, but the darkness is gone and I struggle to get up, only to land on my knees with my hand on my swelling belly.

"This is the beauty that tempted my son?"

My head snaps up at that voice. Standing before me is beauty. A tall woman with a cascade of golden hair and green eyes as cruel as they are lovely. She's wearing a sheer dress of orange and yellow, a toned thigh peeking from between the fabric and showing off a delicate foot encased in a jeweled sandal. I can see my husband in her features... and it breaks my heart to have her looking at me so hatefully.

"Hm," she says thoughtfully, looking behind her at the creatures hovering by the great fire. They have breasts of women and gray skin like the dead. Attached to their backs are large leather wings like a bats and their eyes are dark pools of tar. "I expected more," she says and the creatures cackle at her joke. "I see nothing more than a shepherd's daughter before me."

They laugh again.

"Poor dear seems to have hurt herself."

She offers me her hand to help me up and I hesitate before doing as she wants for fear of retribution. She helps me to my feet and I hold my dress in place to cover my modesty.

"What a clumsy little thing you are."

"I have—"

"Yes," she cuts me off quickly, wetting her full pink lips with her tongue. "I know why you have come." She looks me over again, a smug smirk on her face that makes me feel ill. She's so beautiful… I fall a little bit in love with her… but I shake that thought away as quickly as it comes. "You see, you have done my son a great injustice. He took you into his home, into his bed... and you made a fool of him."

"I never—"

"You dishonored his love for you and wounded him beyond repair. Sure, the oil from the God's flame will scar him," she says and I look at her with wide eyes. "It is a burning, horrible pain even for the likes of us," she admits. "But nothing can undo what you have done to his heart."

"I did not know," I whisper pathetically. "I did not—"

"Save your pleas and tears for someone else," she holds up her hand to stop me. "You will find no sympathy here."

She starts to circle me, every once in a while running a nail into one of the tears on my back that forces me to bite back a scream of pain.

"You have had my ire long before my son took you as his," she admits. "Your Father used to say that your birth would bring good fortune to his land and as the sovereign Goddess of your kingdom, many blessings were heaped upon my altar. But as you grew, the people started to turn to you for their luck... they said you were Aphrodite born into human skin," she laughs at the thought. "Your mother used to compare your hair to mine, saying even the Goddess would be jealous of such fine curls. She said your face was far prettier too and your father was quick to agree and announced it to his entire house who shouted their acceptance in unison." she looks at my hair now, how her minions butchered it and she laughs as I bring a nervous hand up to see. "She said when she looked into your face, she could see the divine."

She laughs at that, like the thought was so silly as I cover my cheek... the side that is bruised and scratched.

"My altar was abandoned... the simple villagers with no education or sense would forsake their worship of the Goddess who brought them favor to lay their laurels at your feet... and you never told them how wrong they were. You never came to my temple to offer your own sacrifice or ask for forgiveness because your pride was too great. Hubris must be punished and it would have been had you not seduced my son."

Her voice hits hard and the force makes me fall to my knees.

"I did not seduce him," I whisper. "I did not even know him."

She doesn't answer as she stares me down before grabbing my necklace and yanking it until the chain snaps.

"You are saying you did not know my son? You dishonor him again? The God you call husband," she snaps, taking my precious necklace and throwing it into the pink fire. "When an immortal favors a human, it's like a mortal favoring a dog. Never equal. Never true."

"No!" I yell as I try to get up to save the necklace... but it is already gone... gone forever in the pink flames with the rest of my courage. "He gave that to me...It was all I had left."

She glares at me. "He gave you a child, you ungrateful sow. Rest assured that is the only reason you are still breathing."

"What can I do?" I ask desperately. "What can I do to make this right?"

"Nothing," she says and I clench my eyes shut in pain. "But," she says and I look at her. "There is hope still for this one," she says, placing a cold hand on my stomach. "I will give you a task, yes? It will not be easy, but if you complete the hardship, I will raise this child up to a station fitting for a child of my child... if not... then it will be treated like the bastard that it truly is and live out it's days just as cursed as you are."

"What does..." I trail off and she smirks.

"You have a question? Go ahead and speak up while you still have the chance."

"Can I see him?"

"Who?" She questions, knowing full well who... but just taunting me.

"Him," I whisper, eyes blurring with more painful tears. "I would like to see him... Just once...I can explain—"

"He doesn't want to see you," she says, watching my face as it crumbles. "Do you believe he would let all of this happen to his dearest love is he truly cared for you anymore? A mortal pet is only a fleeting amusement to those who rest on Olympus. It was only a matter of time before you were left to rot like the animal you are. I am far sweeter than any who rest above," she adds, smiling again. "The only salvation you will find is with me. The only redemption through my mercy."

I keep my head down, staring at my blistered feet.

"Give her a room to rest," she says, looking at the creatures over her shoulder. "And something to eat. We'll commence at dawn and we will see if she is worthy of our pity."

The gray creatures take me to a cell underneath the earth, were a mattress lays on the hard ground in a small alcove. They give me stale bread, water, and a scratchy dress to cover my nakedness before disappearing. The light goes with them, but I have lived in the darkness long enough to not be afraid.

It is hard to chew because of the pain in my jaw and it is hard to swallow with the sand in my throat, but I must do as humans do and I must survive. The wool scratches against the wounds on my back and makes them scream in agony as I try to lay my head on the mattress that feels like it's full of stones. Exhaustion takes me before the sadness does and I dream of green eyes and warm kisses pressed to my neck...

I wake startled by a horn blowing in my ear and sit upright... In a large windowless room made of wood and brick... but there is no ceiling... the sun is bright above me and I shield my eyes from the rays. Before me is a pile a mile high of a million different kinds of seeds.

"So ugly a maid servant you have become!" a voice cackles in my ear. "Your task is to sort all of these seeds until the sun is swallowed by night. If you fail, you child will be cursed to live a life of suffering!"

The voice leaves and I stare at the heap in stunned silence. There is no way I can perform such a task... it was set up for me to fail but thinking of the child inside of me.. the child that may have a chance at a happy life... I reach forward, taking a small handful and carefully sorting the different seeds in various piles behind me. I must try, at least... even if I am to fail...I must try.

I work as fast as my weary body will allow, trying not to watch the sun move across the sky as I sort with trembling hands the various seeds before me. I must break to do as mortals do, wasting more time in the frailty of my condition. At high noon, I feel hopeless because no matter how much I sort... the pile still seems too great for me to manage and I break down... sinking to my knees and staring down at the floor in defeat as my stomach growls loudly in hunger. The room is hot and humid and my mouth is dry from thirst... I can barely breathe from the heat and with the sun shining so unguarded, I feel my skin burn, my shoulders blistering and my nose red hot.

A little line of ants march past me when I see dots in front of my eyes and I watch their progression to the pile.

They climb along the heap, and I'm tempted to crush them just in case they try to make off with the seeds and void my task... but the ants work fast, and more swarm into the room between the cracks in the wood. I watch with wonder as they begin sorting each seed into their own pile... millions upon millions of ants covering the heap like a blanket and before night falls... the entire thing is sorted.

"Thank you," I whisper gratefully, tears of joy in my eyes as the ants scurry away. "Thank you so very much!"

When night finally comes, the walls retract into the ground and the Goddess Aphrodite with her sparkling green eyes glides across the floor. When she sees the task has been completed, a fury overtakes her beauty and for a moment I think she may strike me so I ready myself for the blow, but instead she reels in her anger and smiles.

"I know you did not do this on your own."

I open my mouth to respond, but she holds up a well sculpted hand.

"Do not deny something I know is true. I can not suffer a liar as well as a cheater," she says, her face flushed and her hair twisted with roses. She is so lovely, so perfect... It is hard looking at her so I look to her feet instead. "But I am kind and my heart bleeds under misfortune. I will give you another chance to redeem yourself for the sake of the one you are growing."

A flagon of water appears before me and I wait for her permission before I grab the container and I down it quickly, letting the water spill from the sides of my mouth and down my chin. She watches me drink, an amused smile on her lush lips as her eyes sparkle unpleasantly.

"Are you hungry?"

"Yes," I answer, my lips cracked and dry.

I wipe off my mouth with the back of my hand and realize I look every bit the animal she had accused me of being. I start speaking in practiced hymns of gratefulness to the gods who feed us and keep us safe. I say pious prayers to show my devotion, clenching my eyes shut as I try to remember the words that might give me some kind of relief. The only way I know how to speak to a God is with prayer and it becomes my shield, the only armor that I have.

When I open my eyes, the goddess is gone... but a plate is set before me... full of delicious looking food. Cooked meat with cabbage and seasoned vegetables that steam in the air. The smell is heavenly and I did not realize how truly hungry I was. I hesitate, looking around me for a moment before reaching forward and grabbing some of the meat. Perhaps my prayers did pluck a chord, after all, one so divine could not be so heartless. I inspect it closely before a ravenous hunger takes me and I stuff the whole thing into my mouth, ignoring the pain my loose teeth cause me as I try to chew more than I can swallow, pushing handfuls of food into my mouth before it can disappear.

The meat is tough and the rest is almost too hot to bear, I don't care as I grab handfuls like a wild thing, eating like some uncivilized barbarian until the food disintegrates in my mouth... breaking down into piles of ashes that I cough out as it fills my stomach and throat with it's dry burning sensation.

I look at the plate as I choke, clawing at my throat and becoming even more horrified when I see what has replaced the food. Not a moment ago there was a meal to please my senses, but now there was nothing but bone, ashes, and maggots wriggling around rotted green meat.

I can not help myself.

I turn and start throwing up. The bile comes out of me in thick black ooze, shredding my throat like broken glass and pooling underneath me in boiling bubbles. When I feel as though I can not retch anymore, I'm brought back to the cell under the earth, back to the darkness with the voices laughing in my head.

As I stare into the void, my thoughts dead and blank, a swirling wind ruffles my hair and I feel something being pressed into my palm.

You must eat! The voice entreats. It's the same voice from the home in the meadow... my ghost servant from the palace beside the sea. Eat or you will perish!

I feel the gift in my hands, seeing it with my fingers in the darkness and pressing it to my nose. It's bread. Freshly baked bread from the smell... but I will not be fooled again and I let it fall to the ground before laying down, turning my back on the voice, and closing my eyes.

I am not hungry in my dreams.

---

Three days without food has made me delirious.

I trust only the water and nothing else, but now it looks as though it is water that will finally kill me.

I stare at the wide river, to the wilderness and meadows beyond where the golden fleeced sheep dwell. My eyes twitch and my stomach turns as I stand hunched over, catching glimpses of the glorified sheep as they ram into one another and tear apart hapless creatures who just happen to cross their path.

Their beauty betrays their viciousness...

That is what the goddess told me before displacing me on the bank of this violent river, where the white water turns and breaks against jagged rocks with nothing but a small leather satchel to collect the golden wool.

I am a merciful host, she smiled, white teeth all lined in a row. I need only but a tuft of their famed golden wool to fill this bag... and with it you can find the redemption you seek...

I must cross here. She demanded it so and I had only until the sun reached it's peak in the sky before the doom would befall my child. My hands are dirty and my nails are chipped, but I place my palm over my stomach anyways and rub gently.

"Their beauty betrays their viciousness," I repeat the goddess' words as I think of her smile and husbands sparkling green eyes. "Viciousness," I say once more, squinting my eyes at the water.

Perhaps if I line my dress with stones, I will sink to the very bottom and drown. My thought is quite pleasant and I ponder what that could mean if I was to die. The baby could not be cursed in the afterlife, I am sure of it... and perhaps my suffering will be shed once in the halls of the dead. If I was to become nothing but a shade, then at least I would be away from the vengeance that follows.

Or would I?

Would I be punished for my cursed life in death? Could I spend my eternity in torment? But then... maybe that is not to be so... Perhaps Hades would take pity on me in a way no Gods above did. Does it even matter? I can not win anything Aphrodite puts before me... would it be better for the baby die before being born?

Before my thoughts can reach a decision, I find myself walking into the river. The reeds on the other side of the water dance to the music the wind makes. I do not even attempt to swim and before long my head goes under. I let the water fill my lungs and I don't even fight when the river pulls and pushes me further and further down in it's murky depths. The water is green and dirty, but I can still see the sunlight breaking through the surface.

Do not pollute my home with your corpse.

The voice is deep and belongs to a man, but I can not see where it's coming from.

There is still much to live for.

Suddenly I am thrust from the water, gently placed on the opposite bank as a man made of water hovers over me. I lay on my back, coughing up the river onto the ground underneath as the thing rears in front of me, the sun shining right through him and bending. He has no features... no hair... he is nothing but the vaguest outline of a man made from the murky water of the river. Even though he has no eyes... I can feel him looking directly at me and I shy away from his eyeless gaze.

I would never be forgiven if I allowed you to perish.

Fish swim within him and when the sun hits him as it is now... he reflects like glass.

You will survive this yet.

"What if I don't want to survive?" I whisper.

Despair is for the for the wretched. The greatest heroes are born in the suffering darkness.

I laugh in my delirium. I laugh and I laugh and I laugh.

No one is a hero at the beginning of their song. You must live long enough to see where it will end.

"I am no hero," I whisper, thinking of my life. "And I did not want his love," I admit, looking past the creature and feeling guilty for the truth. "I did not want admiration from anyone. I never asked for it. I never wanted it. When you accept one's love, you invite another's hate… and sometimes it is hard to see where one ends and the other begins…" I whisper as I think of my sisters… even my parents.

You must eat.

"Why?" I ask softly. "I'm going to die anyways."

No one who wants to be happy in love will let you die.

The being hovers above me, like it was in thought before descending back into the river.

Stay in the wood, it whispers, pluck the wool that gets stuck in the briars around the edges. If you go into the meadow, the sheep will ram your stomach and you will bleed to death.

He disappears into the water, his body sinking back into it's depths as I struggle to my feet. Stay in the wood, he had said… I walk into the trees, keeping my eyes on the sheep as they tear apart a poor rabbit who had found itself in their path. It screams in an awful way and I cringe away from the sound as I creep towards the edge of the forest… seeing shining golden wool stuck in the prickling branches of the small bushes nearby.

I start picking the wool, cutting my fingers on the sharp branches and pushing the wool into the small bag I was given. When the bag is full and the sheep graze far away, I slowly back away. I sit by the bank of the river, shaded by one of the trees as I wait for someone to come fetch me… but I finished my task so quickly and there is plenty of day left.

I start picking at my lower lip until it starts bleeding as I try to ignore the awful grumbling pain in my stomach.

You have to eat!

I ignore the womanly voice… the voice from the home I was dejected from.

"No," I say flatly, licking the blood up.

You must eat! The voice says again as invisible hands grab my arm and try to pull me up. You must eat before she returns!

The voice drags me into the woods again, tugging me along before settling in front of a bush of blackberries.

Eat! For your sake and for the one you grow! If you perish before your husband wakes, the world will know his fury!

"What of my fury?" I ask spitefully as the wind rustles through my hair.

The dead have no fury, the voice answers. The dead have nothing at all.

I hesitate, unsure of what I should do because my spirit could not handle another trick. I reach out and pluck a berry from the bush, rolling it around in my fingers and feeling the bumpy ridges of it's skin.

It is safe, the voice assures me. Eat your fill and rest before the night comes.

It is hard for me to trust, but a trust broken was what got me in the situation, so I let my stomach speak for me as I push the blackberry into my mouth. It is the most heavenly meal I've ever had and I close my eyes, relishing each chew until I swallow and it's gone. The crazy hunger takes me and I start picking berries, one after the another… shoving them into my mouth and tasting them only a second before swallowing. They taste so good I can't stop eating.. barely breathing as I consume every berry in sight.

I eat so much, it almost makes me sick and I cover my mouth for a moment, trying to swallow it all down when I notice my fingers stained with purple juice.

I feel so content now and I close my eyes, tilting my face towards the sky and exhaling a sigh of relief.

In all my life, nothing had ever tasted as good as those blackberries.

I turn when I hear a noise behind me… and widen my eyes when I see a golden fleeced ram staring me down with it's twisted horns covered in blood. Smoke rolls from it's nostrils as it bangs it's front hooves against the ground, it's head tilted down and it's beady eyes gleaming red like rubies.

Run! The female voice wails in my ear. Run!

I don't have to be told again. I take off running through the woods, weaving through the trees as I hear the ram snort and give chase. I am not a fast runner… I never have been and with the added weight of a child I find myself even slower. I trip often and blister the soles of my naked feet as I turn towards the river, seeing the water and hoping that the spirit who lingers there will know I am coming and help me one last time.

"Please!" I shout as I clench my eyes shut and jump from the bank with blind faith.

I land on my feet.

Opening my eyes in surprise, I find the water solid and I take a timid step forward, the river slightly rippling under my feet. I never knew water to act as a floor and I push my brows together in worry as I tap my heel against the surface.

"What is this?" I whisper to myself until I hear another loud snort and I glance over my shoulder, seeing the ram still pursuing me with it's eyes on fire.

I panic and run to the other side of the river, turning back to see the ram try to do the same, but the water swallows it whole. The ram struggles with the current that violently pulls it down stream and it makes awful noises of distress before it disappears completely under the waves. I sit down on a rock to catch my breath and I check my bag to make sure the wool is still there and smile when I see it glittering in the sun.

I spend the hours resting, crying, and thinking about life. My thoughts turn to my homeland… to my parents and then to my dear Amos. How would my life be if I ran off with him instead of going on that cliff? Of course, he never offered, but I entertain the thought none the less. Even if he could not love me like a man, at least I would be safe from all of this. I could have loved him and he could have loved me and we could have had the life we always talked about.

My thoughts keep me company until the sun goes down and one of the leather winged creatures of the goddess comes to fetch me. It brings me to the temple, where the pink fire blazes and the mighty Aphrodite in all her splendor is sitting on a throne of twisted silver. Her beauty is breathtaking… it takes me every time and I fall in love again before remembering myself and remembering the pain she had caused me as I lay the golden wool at her feet.

She leans forward to see as I sink to my knees in respect, and she crinkles her nose at the display before giving me a hot look.

"How did you do it?" she asks sharply. Her blonde hair is loose around her shoulders and her red dress is nearly see through.

I explain to her that I pulled the wool from the brier at the end of the woods and she tilts her head.

"How did you cross the river?"

I tell her I swam.

"Did you have help?"

I don't answer quickly enough and she curls her right hand into a fist, slamming it down on her thigh.

"You cheated once again!" she shouts as she stands up, a towering figure in all her divinity with shadows over her face. I scramble back to get away from her as she snaps to one of her creatures. "I can not suffer a cheater. I can not suffer a lying woman!"

The creature hands her a dagger… the same dagger my sister had given me to kill my husband.

"Your labors are done, and you have failed," she hisses as she comes after me, her face sneering but still beautiful beyond compare. "You have failed," she repeats as I run into one of the creatures that's standing tall, smiling down at me with teeth dark yellow around the edges. "And now I will take the only thing you have left."

The creature behind me grabs my arms and pins them to the ground as the goddess herself kneels beside me, taking the knife and tearing open the front of the wool dress to reveal my stomach. She runs her hand over the bump before taking the dagger and lifting it like she meant to cut me open and take the baby inside.

I'm too shocked to even scream, but I do shout out when she presses the blade to the underside of my stomach, making the blood bead and slip down my side.

"Aphrodite."

The voice is a commanding one and the goddess narrows her sparkling eyes before looking over her shoulder. A woman is standing by the pink fire.. only she is not a mere mortal. She has the glow of the immortal about her and her dress is a shimmering white, with long sleeves that hang down over her hands and a golden belt around her waist. Her eyes are large and pale purple…. A color no human being has ever possessed and her hair is dark brown, twisted up with a polos crown resting on top.

"What is it, Dear Mother?" Aphrodite asks, her voice strained in annoyance.

"You have been neglecting your duties," she says, her hands clasped in front of her with a solemn look on her face. "The Great Father has noticed."

Aphrodite hesitates before standing up to face the other woman of her condition.

"The child is not fully formed," the woman says, her voice a calm, steady drawl. "If you take it out now, it will not live. The thoughts have not developed."

The mighty Aphrodite inhales deeply through her nose as the creature lets go of my hands. I sit up and try to cover my stomach, holding together the torn sides of the dress.

"With respect," she starts, her head slightly bent. "I have never interfered with your affairs," she says, flicking a long sheet of golden hair over her shoulder. "I have never questioned the way you punish slights."

"Who are you truly punishing?" the woman asks softly before giving a demure smile.

There's a heavy pause as the Goddess' stare each other down.

"There is a council you are to attend," the woman says, blinking off the other's stern glare. "I am sure you remembered," she says and I blink in surprise when I see Aphrodite's cheeks redden in a blush. "Considering you missed the last two, I thought I would come to deliver you myself. My husband has little patience for such tardiness, as you know."

"As I know," she whispers before sparing me a hateful glance. "Do not think I am done. I have another task for you while I am away," she says, turning to me and tilting her chin down. "You will go to the mountain where at it's it's highest peak the river Styx flows into the world of men from the land of Hades. Fill this," she says, waving her hand until a glass vase appears by my side. "with the black water of the dead from the mouth of a cave. It must be from the highest point or it will not count. Do this before I return."

She's off then, with a swirl of her skirt, leaving the other deity behind to stare down at me. She sends one purple eyed glare to the creatures still waiting before they bow and leave the temple.

"They can wait outside," she says as she walks towards me, the train of her great white dress swishing against the ground. "See all the trouble you have caused," she says when she gets close enough. "All the trouble I can see marked upon your flesh," she says and I cover my scratched cheek in shame… fearing it may scar. "I heard your prayers," she says. "As I heard your mother's before you. Let me be happy in my marriage. Give me strength… Give me courage…Give me love…."

She kneels down beside me, bringing a hand up to touch my short hair and musing to herself as she runs the curls between her fingers.

"These are things I can not give, I am afraid," she says as I watch her heavenly eyes, sweet as lavender. "These are gifts each mortal must give themselves." She smiles. It's a slight smile, barely turning her lips. "I hear other prayers too," she continues, her voice holds the calming love of a mother and I bask in it's glow as long as I dare. "Give me daughters that I can love…Protect my family... Do not let his seed take…"

I blink in surprise again when I hear my own words coming from her divine lips.

"Do not give me a son… Not now…" She reaches into her wide sleeves and pulls out my necklace… the one given to me by my husband… with the braided chain and simple blue stone. The one that had been thrown into the God's flame. "Not yet."

She takes my hand and lets the necklace settle in my palm, closing my fingers around the piece with the pink fire illuminating the left side of her face.

"I heard your prayers," she says, smiling that slight smile again. "You will not have a son. Not yet," she says with her dark brows raised. "You will have a daughter and like your mother and the mother before her… you will love her more than you love yourself."

I can not say anything in her awesome presence and she stands back up.

"Give yourself courage. Give yourself strength and after these ordeals, you can finally give yourself love. The worst will be over soon. Do not cut your life off before the fates make it so"

She gone then and the creatures return to take me to the mountain where loyal Pyke is waiting for me. I kiss his nose and pat his side as large horned beasts slither in and out of the caves and crevices in the stones. They have scales as black as night and their eyes are a blistering yellow… They look like giant serpents with their forked tongues licking and hissing.

Give yourself courage.

I hold the vase in my hands, gripping it tightly and swallowing hard as I stare at the mountain I am to climb.

Give yourself strength.

I climb onto Pyke's back and urge him to move forward. He's hesitant at first, but after a gust of wind comes, his ears twitch and he starts climbing the passage that curls around the outside of the mountain. A hiss draws nearer and halfway up, Pyke stops completely, fear making him shake as a few stones fall behind us, blocking our pathway down.

"It will be all right," I say, patting his neck, my voice timid. "Just keep moving forward."

It was an easy thing to say, but harder to do because the hissing had moved to the passage in front of us. Louder and louder… closer and closer... until the whole mountain under us shook with it's movements. Pyke became frightened again and tried to fall back when one of the great beasts turned the corner and faced us head on.

It's fangs were dripping with venom, it's head the size of four carriages, and it's body even larger still. Yellow eyes like pus glared us down with the pupils cut in black, angry slits.

It meant to eat us and opened it's mouth to do so, but a great eagle even larger than Pyke flew down from above. I gasped as the majestic bird flung itself at the serpent, pecking it's eyes out and attacking it's body until the great beast slid from the mountain side, landing with a loud thump against the unforgiving ground.

"Come on, Pyke!" I shout as the bird starts to fly off. "Follow that eagle!"

We follow it to the very top of the mountain, watching it lay waste to the beasts that wait, hissing their venom and bulging angry yellow eyes. They are no match for the eagle and when it is finished and it's beak covered in blood, it perches itself beside us on a large rock, it's chest puffed out proudly and it's amber eyes looking me over. I slide off of Pyke with the vase. The bird snaps it's beak at it, but I shake my head.

"I must do it myself," I say looking at the opening in the rocks, where foul black water flows out and descends off the side of the cliff. "She can not think I cheated."

The closer to the cave, the rocks are jagged and slippery and I nearly trip a few times to the disapproving noises of the eagle and dear Pyke. There is a howling coming from the opening… great wails of sadness and desperation carrying over the water from the land of the dead as I hold onto one of the stones to lean over and dip the vase into the darkness.

Help us!

The voices sing a sad song as I struggle to fill the vase, the black water ice cold and smelling of death spouting from a hole no bigger than my hand.

Help us!

Once the vase is full, I try to step back, but my foot slips on one of the uneven stones and I nearly go tumbling into the damned water, but the eagle grabs me with a claw, pulling me back to land as I try to steady the vase in my arms so I don't spill one drop.

"Thank you," I say to the bird, it's greatness not lost on me. It was no bird of man and I try to be gracious before it flies off. "Thank you for your help."

When we get back to the temple, I place the vase in front of the burning fire and wait.

I wait and I wait and I wait… I wait when the creatures bring me back into the cell in the ground. I wait in darkness. I wait through meals. I wait through sleeping and waking… and staring into the nothing. I think of my husband. How he used to talk to me so gently in the darkness… How he would present me certain scenarios and ask my opinion like he valued what I thought. How he would laugh at the silly jokes I would make and kiss my forehead.

"If you could be any animal, what would you be?" he asked once as I rested against him, playing with his fingers.

"I don't know," I shrugged. "A bird, perhaps."

"Why a bird?" he replied, his lips pressed against my hair.

"Because birds can fly."

"Would you like to fly?"

I nodded my head and smiled at how silly it was.

"I would," I answered. "I would fly all over the world and see everything there is to see."

At that point, I had only been to two places… The place of my birth and the palace of my husband. The world was a great big mystery to me and I longed to see more of it.

"One day I will show you everything there is and even more," he promised as he brought my hand up to his lips and he pressed a warm kiss to my knuckles.

"There is even more than everything?"

"Yes," he answered, a smile curled against my skin. "There is so much more, and when you know that, I will teach you to fly."

I think of the great, glorious wings that sprung from his back. How he flew into the night with wings the color of a sparrow's… I think of him often and always in the dark chamber. Of course, even when I was unsure or upset with myself, his love making was always welcomed. Because he was so good at it…. Now that I know who he truly is, it makes so much sense.

And it makes my betrayal burn all the more.

I don't know how long I was in the cell under the ground, but when I was summoned again, the air was chilly and autumn had come to kill the earth.

"You look unwell," the great goddess said from her throne as I was marched in front of her. "Uncommonly pale and sickly." She stands, her gown of red flowing around her. "The child is drawing near, sucking all the life out of you. That is what children do," she says bitterly, looking away for a moment before glaring at me. "I've heard it said that your life is not to be much longer for this world," she says and I don't even have the strength to be scared. "I have one final task for you before that child rips you apart."

She moves her hand and a small black box appears. It's smooth like onyx and has little symbols carved into the lid.

"Bring this box to the world under our own," she says and I just stare at her. "Caring for my son has taken a toll on me," she says, motioning to her face. "Ask Dread Persephone to give me some of her beauty to nurse me to back to my prior shine. She will give into my request for the favor I have recently granted her."

"The Underworld?" I say, unable to hold my horror.

"I know this journey will be arduous so I am giving you a fortnight to complete the task. Isn't that nice of me?"

"But…" She raises a sharp brow. "But the only way to go to the land of Hades is to die."

"I'm sure you'll find a way," she smirks. "You seem to have plenty of friends who are eager to help you. Perhaps the traitors will find it in their hearts to help you with this too."

She hands me the box and it feels like ice in my hand.

"Leave now and return only when that box is filled by Persephone herself."

Her temple disappears then, along with her fire and the black winged creatures.

I'm left with nothing but old Pyke and I don't move for a long while as I dig my fingers so deeply into the edges of the onyx box that my hands start bleeding… ...and then my thoughts turn to my dear husband.

I wish I could tell him how very sorry I was that I was going to die.

---

It is a hard thing to find a mortal entrance to the underworld. The mountain pass with the serpents is lost to me, though I don't know how I would have climbed down that hole anyways. No one trusts a woman who asks where she could find such a place and even after bribes and prayers, all rumors proved false. A complete week of traveling and searching has left me and my dear Pyke exhausted and without hope.

I find a nice rock to sit on as I contemplate my fate. I eat an apple that I stole from a nearby village, but chewing on the right side still brings pain to my broken teeth, so I hand the fruit to Pyke, letting him have the rest as I put my head in my hands. I do not cry. There are no tears left, but I do sigh loudly when the baby kicks.

"You will be just as wretched at me," I tell her, feeling guilty for not being able to give her a chance at having happiness. "Some mother I am."

The wind comes… rustling my hair... and I look up when a purple gown floats in front of me, landing in the dirt by my feet along with a midnight cloak with a silver clasp.

You are close now… the voice from the palace whispers.

Sometimes I wonder if she is truly real at all… or if I've been mad this whole time.

Just over the hill… She says and I look at the hill, squinting my eyes against the sun as the leaves litter the ground. But you can not go empty handed…

Of course… I roll my eyes as a bag swirls down from the sky.

Do not trust anyone who tempts you from your path. Do not help anyone who entreats you on your way to Hades. Do not have pity on the dead or dead you will become…

"I already know how I'm going to die," I admit, looking down at my stomach.

I will die giving birth. That's been made clear to me. I will die and know Hades soon enough.

There are two coins you must hold in your mouth. One to cross the river into the gates and another to leave. Charon must take the coin from your tongue. Do not forget it….

She talks through my depression, like I had no objections.

Two barley cakes to sooth the vicious dog Cerberus from his duties… one to get in… one to get out… Do not forget.

"Do not forget," I sigh.

Do not forget… the voice repeats as I rub the weariness from my eyes. And when your husband wakes, you will be reunited ...and together you will see more than everything you ever knew. I look up at her words. But first you must bathe!

The wind bends the trees, leading to a small spring that is steaming with heat. I can't even remember the last time I was clean and I pick up the voice's gifts, holding the bag, and the dress, and the cloak as I walk towards the water. Hope is a dangerous thing, but I let the thought take me as I wash my body in the water, cleaning my face from the grime and wrinkling my nose when I feel the three deep scars on my cheek.

They must look horrid, but I have yet to have the heart to look at my reflection.

The skin of my stomach has stretched and torn to make room for the child, leaving angry red scratches that looks like the baby is trying to claw it's way out from the inside. Most of my fingernails are broken and uneven… I'm even missing one on my right hand from the trauma of my situation. My teeth are chipped, my body bruised, and my hair is butchered.

I am ugly now.

If I found my husband, would he still love me after the face and body he found so beautiful wasn't half as beautiful anymore?

I shake my head and dress in the silk gown, the chilly air making bumps rise on my flesh as the wind braids my hair as much as it can. I throw the onyx box in the bag and make sure the necklace is resting against my chest before throwing up the hood of the cloak to begin my journey over the hill with loyal Pyke by my side.

A cave is hidden from view by shrubs and plants and I can hear water dripping, echoing inside. I turn to Pyke, taking off his harness and saddle.

"You've been a good friend," I whisper to him, patting his head once he's freed of civility. "I won't make you wait for me." I say, looking on him fondly. "Goodbye, Pyke."

I kiss his nose before descending into the cave with the bag slung over my shoulder as torches flame to life, lighting my way in a golden glow as I walk down the crudely cut stairs. I walk for days… I walk for years… until I hear water again… and a few cries of despair before finding myself on the edge of a wide river that sparkles with black water. This area of the cave is immense… Larger than anything I've seen and menacing in it's size.

I dig a coin from the bag and I put it in my mouth nervously when I see a light on the water… a lantern burning in a green flame as a small boat makes it's way towards me..

A woman passes by and I watch her carefully… She's faded, gray, and dressed in rags. She does not lift her head as she cries into her hands but when she gets near enough, she grabs my hand.

"Please!" she shouts, her voice echoing off the walls as she drops to her knees. "Please give me your coin!"

"I-I…" I stop myself and face forward when I remember the voice's warnings.

Do not talk to the souls of the dead.

"I have been here for one thousand years!"

I can not help but glance at her now. Her eyes are large and haunted and her face is covered in sores.

"Please! Have mercy!"

The boat gets nearer and I tug my hand away from hers when it rests on the bank. I hurry towards it, swallowing my fear when I see legendary Charon waiting for me. His unkempt beard is long and gray, curling down his chest as his dark eyes stare right into mine. He has a haunted look about him, his skin sallow and the bones of his hand are twisted with age, set around a wooden ore.

He doesn't say anything as he watches me and then I remember myself, opening my mouth so he can see the coin.

His twisted fingers reach out to grab the payment as the woman wails behind me.

He pockets the money and turns around while I climb into the boat.

His clothes hang off of him in dirty rags and he covers his bald head with the hood of his black cloak as he pushes us through the water. I keep my hood up and try not to look around the never-ending cavern with it's stale air and unpleasantness, but my living heart starts thumping when I see icy fingers curl around the edge of the boat.

I clench my eyes shut, remembering the words spoken to me so softly.

Do not help anyone who entreats you. Do not have pity on the dead or dead you will become…

"Help me," the voice hisses as the soul pulls itself up against the side of the boat. It's a young man, his face bloated from the water and his lips blue from the cold. "Help me!"

His pale arms reach for me…His chest is covered in blood sucking leeches..

"Please!" he screams, his voice in a panic as his eyes go wild. "Please, have mercy!"

I cover my ears and refuse to look at him until he goes away, slinking back into the water with a slump and a splash. I do not look up until we reach the other side of the river and I glance at Charon again, but he is not bothering to see me. His eyes turn back to the bank, where more dead are waiting for his service.

Always polite, I give the ferryman a tight smile as I step out of his boat, my dress catches the end of the water, and starts to sizzle and disintegrate like it was dipped in poison. I panic and pull away as the purple dress eats away just above my ankles. Frustration comes quickly, but I bite it away before I look at Charon for guidance.

He is already rowing away to collect the souls that can pay his toll.

I swallow hard as I look around. The place is cavernous and dark, with torches blazing against the walls that burn in a pale light like the moon. Standing before me is a large gate of immense size, glittering like it was made from the soft stone of a cave and interwoven with black metal and precious stones.

There is a large group of men waiting for the gates to open… They're dressed as soldiers, their shields and swords intact as they sway back and forth with their heads turned to the ground.

They are dead.

I can tell. They are gray and faded like the woman on the bank. Completely void of life... but they are still splattered with the red blood of the living…the color in stark contrast to their ashen skin. I file behind them, waiting for the gate to open and keeping my head down as I pull a barley cake from my bag.

After a few silent moments, the great gate creaks open to the chorus of violent barking from the multi-headed dog Cerberus. The beast is the size of a large horse with three vicious heads. All their mouths are lined with gleaming fangs as sharp as swords and covered in blood. It's dark fur is matted and it's eyes are crazed as it growls and lunges at the dead soldiers.

The dead seem to be unconcerned with the creature and walk right past… but one of the heads sniffs the air and then all three of them become very concerned with me.

I panic when it starts growling and snarling at me. It has three heads, but I only have one cake and when it starts lunging at me, I just blindly throw the cake towards it's general direction. The heads start fighting over the treat and I go running right past, pushing through the dead soldiers and further still to get away from the monster.

I only stop when I find myself in a large hall. The walls are shining cut glass and the floor is green marble. I try to catch my breath, leaning against one of the pillars that holds up the lighted ceiling.

"You are alive," a voice says from the end of the hall.

I look up and squint my eyes to see… Three thrones are at the end of the hall and seated on each great chair is a man dressed in brightly colored robes with crowns of gold on top of their rich heads.

"Come forward," one implores as I stand up straight, gathering my courage to walk their way.

There are arches on either side of the hall and inside I can see the different lands of the dead…

The gray fields of Asphodel where souls who did no great deeds or no great crimes mull around without thought or purpose in a black and white world.

Merely exist in life… the words etched into the stone archway above say… Merely exist in death...

The next arch shows the dazzling paradise of Elysium. Where the sun shines down on a golden meadow as heroes, great thinkers, and the righteous of the mortal world are rewarded with pleasure for the rest of eternity.

Virtuous. Brave. Loved by the Gods…Peace to those who know life is not easy.

Beyond that is the field of punishment. A red sunned world of pain and despair as souls scream and beg for release from their torments.

Reap what you sow.

Those are the only words it has and the final arch makes me shy away… It's barred like a prison cell… the blackest night not even hinting towards what could be inside as smoke rolls from the floor.

This place had no words… It just had it's name. Tartarus. A chilling name to Gods and mortals alike.

"Come closer," one of the throned men says and I pick up speed until I am standing before them.

They are dead men, gray skinned and ashen faced, but favored by the gods for their position.

"You have a beating heart," the one on the right points out. He has a braided beard and dark eyes. "Why have you trespassed in this land?"

"I came to see the great Persephone," I say as loudly as I dare. I take out the onyx box from my bag and hold it between my hands. "I have a command from the mighty Aphrodite herself."

The three men talk among themselves before nodding their heads. A small archway appears to the right of me.

"The Queen has been expecting you," the one on the left says. He has long blonde hair and a curled mustache. "She will receive you in her chambers," he adds, motioning to the archway.

I hesitate before walking under the arch and into a lavish room of white. The walls, ceiling, and furniture are all powdered and pearled and the only dark thing in the room is a gilded mirror against the wall. I walk towards it in curiosity, but fall back when I see my face.

I always knew my face was pleasing to the people around me, but now I look haggard, scarred, and almost as bad as the ashen faced dead of this Kingdom. I have lost so much weight in my suffering that my cheeks are hollowed and my eyes sunken in. I look like a stranger in my own skin and I have to wonder how anyone could ever love me now I was no longer beautiful.

"I am glad you were able to make it."

I turn around quickly and see the beautiful Persephone standing near. She's wearing a layered blue dress that brings out the uncommonly bright color of her eyes. Eyes as blue as the sky and rimmed in a dark navy. Her hair is auburn, like her mother's, but it has more red in it and it shines like copper in glossy waves down her back. She smiles at the surprise on my face, her lips full and pink like Aphrodite's, but her joy actually reaches her eyes that have a kindness to them that I had not seen from my husband's mother. Not directed at me, anyways.

She has freckles on her nose and the tops of her shoulders, little kisses from the sun, and her skin is as white as milk, glowing like the gods.

I can see why Hades had been so taken with her. She had a kind beauty that could make you feel loved with just a glance.

"I started to fear you would not get here in time."

She is holding a child, a boy of no more than two years of age with dark hair and amber eyes, resting against her hip and playing with her hair.

"His mother was like you," she admits when she sees me looking at him. She presses her lips to the boy's temple and he leans into the affection. His is mortal… a human child.. but there is something different about him…. something heavy and incredibly beautiful. "She was a lovely creature, loved by all who knew her… but her mother made the mistake of saying that her beauty could rival even the glorious Aphrodite herself."

I swallow as she walks past me to place the boy on the ground by a gathering of toys.

"Does that sound familiar?" she questions, turning to me and raising an eyebrow.

I nod and look down. "What happened to her?" I question, thinking of my own fate. "What happened to his mother?"

"The girl was hit with an unyielding lust for her own father as punishment," she says sadly as she sits down on one of the plush white couches. She nods for me to do the same and I sit across from her, looking so out of place in such a pure, lovely room. "She tricked her father into laying with her and became pregnant with my Adonis," she says, looking at the child fondly as he plays with his toys. "Her father meant to kill her to restore his family honor, so she fled into the wilderness. Only then did Aphrodite take pity on her and she was turned into a tree…. a tree that months later gave birth to that beautiful boy."

I don't say anything as she smiles at the child, the shine of a loving mother in her eyes.

"He does not wither in our presence," she explains. "Being born of a transformation, he can see us with human eyes as the blood of our blood can see us with theirs. He is a special lad." She blinks at the thought and then turns back to me. "My dear Aphrodite realized that, but she is not one to raise a child when she has so many important things to do," she says, her eyes sharp but her smile still sweet. "He is the greatest gift anyone has ever given me, but I fear he will be taken from me when he comes of age. Aphrodite has already declared her love for him and has told me she plans to take him back," She pauses for a moment before looking down and straightening a fold in her dress. "It is not easy," she admits. "That we daughters must always pay for the sins of our mothers… and for the men who trespass against us."

I don't reply and her bright eyes flick down to the onyx box.

"You have come to ask something of me?"

"Yes," I clear my throat. "The great goddess has asked me to retrieve a bit of your beauty. She says that she has grown tired taking care of her son…" I trail off when I think of my husband… closing my eyes for a moment when it brings me pain. "She says you will give into her request."

"My beauty?" she questions, her brows pressed together. "Of course, I will do anything for my dearest friend who gave me such an agreeable son." She nods to the box. "Am I to place it in there?" she questions, standing up and holding out her hands.

"Yes," I nod as I give her the box.

"I will be right back," she says, taking the box and walking over to the child. "Come, my little love," she whispers to him, pulling him up and holding him against her hip once more. "It is time for your nap."

The boy pouts at her, but does not struggle as she leaves the room. Left to my own devices, I start tapping my fingers against my knee… looking around the great white room that has no windows... wondering about how happy the goddess Persephone must be living half the year down here with her husband. Does she love him at all? Or does she suffer him? Of course, these are questions I have no right to ask and I stand up when she comes back into the room.

She does not look any less beautiful, but her eyes look sad.

"I have one question," she says, her cold fingers touching mine as she places the box in my hands. "I know your story, dear Psyche, as I know more than anyone what it is like to be taken from home and family into a fate unknown. Husband says I have a gentle heart, but I like to think there is no shame in that.'

I nod my head, entranced by her haunted beauty.

"Do you love your husband Eros?"

I hesitate with my answer because I am unsure of what to say. "At times I did," I admit. "And I do believe I could… and maybe I even do," I admit, blushing and looking away. "I spent my time with him unsure and didn't trust him because of the circumstances. Had I been stronger, I know I could have loved him. He was kind and gentle to me. No mortal husband could have been better. I should have known… I should have trusted and not let my fears over take me..."

"They ask us to trust them," she says softly, staring dead eyed over my right shoulder. "But they never give us any reason until it is too late. It is a hard thing to be a woman… even a divine one." She shakes off her melancholy and smiles at me. "You must be on your way to make it back in time."

She walks us towards the door.

"Some advice," she starts, looking down at my growing stomach. "Do not open this box, whatever you do. Make it back to Aphrodite and let your troubles be over. You are luckier than my Adonis' mother, for sure," she says. "Even the almighty Father wants to curry favor with Eros. His poisoned arrows can bring bliss or the worst kind of pain. He is a primordial force reborn in our skin, they say. One that formed in Chaos, stronger than those above and the ones chained below."

She thinks on that for a moment before shaking her head and turning back to me.

"Remember that luck in the future when you see little girls like you sprout up on the earth. We are too harsh on our sex and perhaps you can be a voice for those who are punished like you have been punished."

She walks me to the gate herself, keeping her thoughts guarded until we get to Cerberus and she silences the creature with a loving kiss. I offer the dog my last cake and it takes it greedily, with Persephone and her bright, shining eyes watching me as the gates close. Charon takes the coin from my mouth and we cross the river, the icy hands of the desperate man coming back to beg me for help… The woman on the banks pleading for my mercy...

I ignore them all and climb the stone stairs back into the mortal world once more. Pyke is gone, I can not blame him and the sun burns my eyes as I start my trek back to the temple. The box is heavier now than before…and it starts snowing as I make my down the dirt path on the outskirts of the village nearby. Little snowflakes land in my hair and I glance up at the sky, wondering about the gods and their troubles.

A man on a wagon passes me… and he takes one look at the awful scars on my cheeks before cringing away and speeding his horse up. The slight hurts my feelings… but I keep going… and then I start thinking about my beautiful husband… how he would not love me anymore…. how if I did not die in childbirth… then I would surely die in heartbreak after he takes the child away from me…

I look down at the box again.

Maybe if I just took a little of it… then the scars would heal and I would be desirable again… but being desirable was what got me into this mess in the first place… but what else do I have if I am not beautiful? What else will I be if my husband does not love me? My thoughts fight with each other… going back and forth… tugging and pulling as I try to remember Persephone's advice… but curiosity gets to be too much and I stop dead in the middle of the road.

Perhaps I can just look to see what it is. Doesn't mean I will use it. I just want to see if it is a potion… or lotion… or something…

I hesitate before looking around for witnesses. Finding no one on the road, I gently lift the lid… only a little… but just enough to let a blinding light spill out and hit me in the eyes.

I fall to the ground… a deepest sleep taking me until I see and feel nothing at all while the cold veil of night covers my body in it's dark embrace.

---

"You foolish girl."

Someone lifts me, but I can not open my eyes.

"Why have you done this?"

My body is set on soft grass and I start to wake completely when I feel something warm being pressed into my chest.

"Wake up, lover," the voice whispers as I open my eyes, blinking away the sunlight.

Husband is hovering over me, his green eyes shining brilliantly. He gives me a half hearted smile when I try to sit up.

"Were you told not to open that box?" he asks sternly, his glorious wings spread behind him. I don't answer, but he knows anyways. "Curiosity is the curse of women, you know. Mother knew that and knew you would give into it."

I can hardly believe he's real and I reach up to touch his face. He smiles again and takes my hand, pressing my palm to his lips.

"I thought you have left me."

"I was hurt," he admits, running his hand through my shorter hair. "I went to my mother's house and while I was there she healed the wound on my shoulder and tricked me into a slumber. I woke not long ago when the North Wind was finally able to pass the gates and tell me of your troubles. You must know my love is not so fleeting." he whispers. "I would never want this for you, or for our child."

He kisses me sweetly on the lips and then leans down to press his ear to my stomach.

"Even if you did not want me anymore, I am not so cruel to those I love to want you to be in pain." He looks over my face for a moment, bringing his hand up to the scars on my cheek. "But pain you have had."

At his words, I burst into tears and I pull him to me… hugging him tight and pulling back only to kiss him long and deep. His words have moved me and showed me something I did not know before.

I love my husband.

I truly do and he loves me.

"Now," he gently pulls back, smiling at me a little more broadly this time. "Take the box to my mother," he whispers, picking up the onyx box and setting it in my hands. "Do not look inside again or I will not be able to wake you. Do you understand that?"

"Yes," I reply, wiping away tears. "Do you find me ugly?" I ask pathetically when I catch him looking at the scars.

"Never," he says, leaning forward to kiss my forehead. "You are my other half. The other half of me couldn't be anything less than lovely. Even if you had no face, you would still be mine for always because my heart belongs to you. Yes?"

He pulls back and searches my eyes until I nod my head.

"Good, now…." He looks up and makes a motion with his hand. A wind picks up and the horse of clouds and the chariot of wind appears before us. "The North Wind will take you to your destination. Present her the box and I will take care of the rest."

He helps me to my feet, but before he can leave, I grab his arm.

"Wait," I whisper. "Do not leave."

"I will come for you," he reassures me, pressing a kiss to my lips and running his hand down my arm. He is so beautiful. "And you will be safe."

I have to trust him this time and I nod my head, watching him fly off before climbing into the chariot. Flying on wind still makes me uneasy and I keep my eyes closed until we reach the temple, the pink fire blazing inside as the horse disappears into nothing. I gather my strength before walking in, closing my eyes and praying that seeing my husband wasn't just a dream or a cruel joke sent to torture me.

When I find the courage, I walk inside.

She is sitting on her silver throne, wearing all yellow with a golden girdle around her waist. Her eyes tighten when I lay the box at her feet and her upper lip curls back in a sneer.

"Who helped you?" she asks flatly, the rage simmering in her eyes. "Who is the traitor who will answer for this miscarriage of justice?"

"That would be me."

She looks up in surprise and I glance over my shoulder, my heart jumping when I see Husband. He is fully clothed now, wearing dark green clothes that match his eyes with his bow and quiver over his shoulders.

"She is not yours to torment," he says as he walks forward until he is standing by my side. "And even still, she has done all that you have asked of her. Count your anger as sated. She has suffered enough in your employment."

"Sated?" she asks, standing up and curling her hand into a fist. "You swore me an oath and broke that sacred vow the moment you laid eyes upon that blasphemous mortal," she points a cruel finger to me. "You will chose a human over your own divine mother?"

"Only if you make me," he says seriously. "You wanted her to share your fate," he says and I furrow my brows. "But she has married a beast all the same."

"She is not worthy of your blood," she hisses. "I will not allow it!"

"You don't have to," he says shortly, reaching back and grabbing my hand. "I have spoken to the Great Father and he wants us to ascend."

She looks a little taken aback. "Ascend?" she whispers, her golden eyebrows pressed into a line.

"Yes," husband nods his blonde head. "Now." He turns to me and smirks, pushing hair behind my ears. "Close your eyes. I will tell you when you can open them again."

I obey his order and close my eyes, wrapping my arms around his neck when he reaches out to snake his arm around my waist. The earth shifts underneath and I fall even closer, burying my face into his chest when I feel the world moving around us. He starts humming a song into my ear as I keep my eyes clenched tight until we are on solid ground once more.

"You may open your eyes now."

I do as he says, but can barely see with the blinding white light… I can't even see Husband… He's just a golden outline of a person in the whiteness…. I try to blink to adjust… seeing even more outlines of bright white and gold people, but it's like staring directly into the sun and I can not handle it.

I close my eyes once more and turn away, seeing the spots burned into my eyelids.

"This is your precious Psyche?" A booming voice rattles my ears and I try to open my eyes once more… but the light is too blinding. "She is quite small."

There are laughs from the other white shadows and I reach out for husband again… letting him take my hand.

"She will give birth soon." I know that voice… It was the same voice of Mother Hera who visited me in the temple of Aphrodite. "It must be done before she goes into labor."

"Then so it shall," that loud manly voice is right in front of me. "Take this drink, beloved of Eros," he says and my hands are guided to a golden cup that is as dazzling as it is bright. "With this union, you join our realm and family. The responsibility of our kind to save the world from falling back into chaos is a heavy burden, but one we carry with pride. With this drink you shall become forever daughter, sister, mother, and wife. You will redeem our provocative Eros and his mother's rage shall be tempered."

The cup is pressed to my lips.

"Drink now," he laughs as I taste the honeyed drink on my tongue. "And join those of the never ending!"

It tastes sweeter than wine… better than water… it tastes like heaven in a cup and I drink it all down until there is not one drop left. A few moments pass where nothing happens… nothing is said… and then I feel myself changing from the inside out. My heart hammers as my skin feels like it's being pricked all over with small needles. My hair grows… My wounds heal… my body fills out… and suddenly I can see in the blinding light.

The divine of the golden glow stand before me in a great, unearthly room.

In front of me is a broad shouldered man, with the beard of a warrior. His hair is more brown than red, but auburn all the same with eyes bright purple, glowing behind long lashes. He's wearing deep red clothes and a golden crown that has spikes like thunderbolts on the top to show his importance. The Great Father Zeus was not a god to be trifled with and his appearance was one of awe and envy.

My knees buckle to see him in all his glory and he laughs when I have to catch myself from falling.

"You are like us now," husband whispers in my ear and I turn to see him, finding him even more beautiful than before with my new eyes. "And we will have the wedding feast that was denied to us, for now you are home."

Music begins playing… beautiful, perfect music and some begin dancing… beautiful, perfect dances…. Words fail to describe what I see and I fall into a shocked silence as I watch the pantheons of the gods I had worshiped and heard stories of my entire life celebrating me and my husband, offering words of good cheer.

My husband stays close, whispering words in my ear and pressing kisses to my cheek. When he places his hand on my stomach I tear myself away from the splendor of it all to look into his eyes.

"It will be girl," I tell him, my eyes sliding to Hera, who sits stone silent in her seat.

"I know," he says, giving me a pleased little smile. "What should we name her?"

A thousand names pass my thoughts before I shrug. "I'm afraid I can not find one suitable."

"I have," he says, leaning down to kiss my stomach. "Voluptas. We shall name her this because she was born from pleasure."

I smile for him when he kisses me and over his shoulder I see his mother, her chin tilted down and her eyes dark as a man with flaming red hair whispers in her ear. I swallow and turn away.

"I have a gift for you," husband says as he stands up.

He claps his hands and the hall falls silent. Two little nymphs of nature comes dancing forward with a gilded box between them.

"Open it," he nods to the white ribbon on top and I carefully untie it, opening the golden lid to see inside.

The people of the great hall make wonderfully happy noises when a set of wings is revealed…They're beautiful and sheer like a butterfly's, with teal, blue, and orange markings on their surface.

"I know you wanted to be a bird, but I thought these delicate things fit you much better. They will appear when you want them," husband says as I touch one of the wings, jumping back to the laughs of the hall when they flutter. "Like mine."

I turn around and put my hair over my shoulders as they seal the gift to my back. I smile when they are attached, making them move and looking behind me to see.

"How wonderful," I say happily, kissing husband again. "Thank you so very much. They are perfect." I sigh and look around again. "I feel like this is all a dream."

"It's not," Eros says as he takes my hand. "You are very much awake."

"I also have a gift," I look up to see Demeter walking towards me with Pyke… he's dressed in laurels and younger than before. "He will never die," she says as I jump up to kiss him. "He will be yours always."

"This is such a pleasing gift," I thank her with a smile and go back to pet Pyke's nose.

"It was my daughter's idea," she says, looking at me with her purple eyes gleaming. "She would have loved to be here, but.. as you know…"

"Yes," I whisper as I think of the underworld and how cold and awful it was. "I know. Give her my thanks."

"You can give them yourself," she smiles. "It will not be long before she is returned to us."

"I will present my gift now," another voice calls and I look up, gulping loudly when I see mighty Aphrodite approach.

I shy away from her and go back to my husband as he puts his arm around my waist.

Her two gray skinned creatures bring forward a golden cradle. "For the child," she says, giving me a tight smile. "Let us put aside our differences, for now you are a sister of our realm… and a daughter to me," she says, coming close to kiss me on the cheek. "Welcome and be forgiven."

I try to be gracious. I smile and thank her instead of shuddering as I want, but as the night carries on, more pleasures than I have ever known are presented to the point of it all being too overwhelming to me. I find myself trying to hide away from it in a darkened corner to catch my breath.

"You can forgive, you know," I blink up in surprise to see a girl not much older than me… with short curly hair and large brown eyes. She's wearing a knee length tunic with animal fur at her shoulders. I can remember her being introduced earlier with her handsome brother. The chaste and great hunter Artemis. She looks at me, dark eyes sparkling. "But you don't have to forget. Never forget."

"I'm sorry?"

"I remember when you laid your toys at my altar," she says, smiling a dimpled smile. "How you prayed for me to take you so you could become one of my maidens. Most girls pray for my help before the marriages their parents make. I would have protected you," she admits. "This would never come to pass under my watch. We bend to the will of no man but the Great Father."

She looks out at the party, her eyes narrowed.

"Aphrodite recently took someone very dear to me," she admits, her voice low. "Mortals are such fragile creatures," she whispers to herself. "But I will not forget the death of my Hippolytus. Will you forget your sufferings?" she asks, a brow raised. "Or the suffering she put your loved Eros through?"

I shake my head. "I don't think so."

She nods and turns away. "One day she will love something so fragile," she says spitefully. "And I shall take it from her. Then she will truly know what pain is.."

"She already does love," I admit, thinking of the beautiful child in the underworld. "There is a human child," I say and she turns to me, her eyes alight. "He is with Persephone in the land of Hades, but she said that Aphrodite will take him away when he comes of age."

"What is this child's name?"

I hesitate. "Adonis," I whisper, but then I think of dread Persephone with her copper hair and sincere eyes. "He is loved by Persephone," I admit. "His pain will hurt her too."

"It is a good thing she rules the dead then," she says, laughing in pleasure like I gave her a great gift. "I will take him away from Aphrodite and give him to sister Persephone for the rest of eternity."

She runs off, leaving the party with a skip.

I cover my mouth, unsure of what I had just done. Determined to have my next action be a good one… I go straight towards my husband who is sitting on the seat of honor. He pulls me to his lap when I get near and asks me what I'm thinking.

"I want to see my parents. Tell them all that has happened and share with them the good news," I say, kissing his neck.

His smile falters. "We can send word to them," he answers. "And you may visit from time to time.. but they can never see you again," he admits. "Your glory is too great now. Their minds could not handle seeing you, no human can after the fall. But we will let them know… all the temples in the world will know your story."

He kisses me.

"There was a boy," I continue, trying to do something good. "He gave me Pyke for no payment. Just out of kindness. Can we reward him?"

He nods. "We can."

"And my sisters…."

His eyes tighten.

"I want them to know…" I trail off as I narrow my eyes, thinking of their callousness. "I don't want them to be punished," I'm quick to say. "But I want them to know what they did was wrong…"

"I am sure they know already," he says and when I give him a questioning look he puts his hand on my thigh and squeezes.

"They do?"

"Yes, the dead know all in the land of Hades."

I freeze, pulling back to look into his eyes.

"You mean…."

"They are both dead from their own folly. Do not trouble yourself," he says, kissing my forehead. "Justice is a winged beast in the shadows and it gets us all in the end."

Just then I hear a swooping sound and I look over my shoulder… in an alcove is a dark creature with blue skin and glowing eyes of red. When we make eye contact, the creature folds its wings behind it's body and bows it's head slightly in my direction.

Blood drips from her hands and the corners of her mouth… and when the creature smiles at me, I know justice has been served.

And for the first time in a long time I find myself content and very nearly happy.

---

The great feast lasts for days, breaking only when I go into labor.

I have our daughter in a great birthing tent with a horde of goddess' to serve as my midwives. The act is long and painful, but the reward of seeing her for the first time banishes all of those ill feelings. When I look upon her face, I know what heaven is…I know what love looks like… and I can feel what it means to have peace. She is small and pink, and completely perfect with golden hair just like her father's.

When she wraps her tiny hand around my finger, I know that all past troubles had been worth it to bring me to this place. To be her mother at that exact moment...

There is much ritual with the immortals of Olympus and they revere forces even older than themselves, paying homage to those ancient beings just as the mortals do to the gods on earth. My daughter is crowned and named in front of the Great Council. She is blessed and given great gifts of prayers and hymns with messages sent below to tell of her birth. Her purpose is written on the walls of the Great Hall and the gifts she will inherit from her bloodline are seared into the stone for all time.

Her father loves her.

Her father loves me… and we settle in and become a family in a way I never dreamed possible when I was still mortal. But time is a strange thing in the world above and I watch with loving eyes as my daughter grows and walks and talks… she is still a child when husband finally permits me to return to the human earth to visit my family.

I slip into the mortal skin of a young woman. Knowing I can not reveal myself to them for fear of causing them pain, I sneak into my homeland with the North Wind at my back only to find that fifty years had passed and my parents were already dead. The knowledge left a searing pain in my heart, but I had one ray of hope. Amos was still a young man when I left him and it could be possible that he was still alive so I went to his old room…. a bare place below the palace of my Father where many nights we would lay together and pretend we were someplace else.

But Amos was gone too…. and no one had ever heard of him before.

"Time moves slowly for us," husband says as I stare the empty wall of Amos' old chambers. "Years can be seconds to those who never die… never age… unless you force yourself to slow down and look."

"Why didn't you tell me?" I whisper as I pick up an old toy, some wooden horse crudely whittled.

"You never asked. I thought I was enough for you.''

I feel my eyes well up, but I swallow my sadness and clear my throat. "I wasn't honest with you."

"About what?" he questions, moving behind me but I refuse to look at him.

"You asked me once if I have ever loved a man," I start as I feel his eyes on the back of my head. "I told you no… but I did. I loved the man who used to live in this room," I say, placing the horse back on the table. "He wasn't a man in the normal sense, I suppose, but I loved him all the same."

"I know you did," he says softly.

"What…" I turn around to see his meaning, but it's not Ero's standing behind me… It's Amos… looking as young and handsome as the day I left him with his curly dark hair and even darker eyes.

"You can tell a lot about a mortal by how they treat the people around them…Especially how they treat the people who have been placed in unfortunate positions underneath them." His voice is still my husband's, but his body belongs to my dear friend. "And how did you treat a poor eunuch boy sold into slavery?"

"I don't understand," I whisper, staring into his eyes.

"Don't you?" He walks towards me and puts his hands on my face. "I loved you the moment I saw you. First because you were lovely and sweet in the way that all young girls are lovely and sweet… and then as you grew and changed, so did my love. Suddenly I saw you as a woman grown. A woman with thoughts, feelings, and a body formed for love making. I slipped into a mortal skin and we grew together and you grew to love me too," he whispers, his dark eyes dancing over my face. "Do you see? You loved me in this face, you loved me with no face, and you have loved me with my true face. You have only ever loved me and I have only ever loved you."

I don't know what to say, I just stare up at him.

"You are the only true home I have ever known," he says before kissing me hard.

As we kiss, we shed the human skin until our golden glow lights the room. We ascend before any mortal can see with wings wrapped around our bodies... and I realize his love was enough for me... It was everything and so much more.