One step behind

Chapter 1

He was sitting nervously on the edge of the bed, his hands clamped tightly over his ears. Bending his head down low he tired desperately to block the sound of the ringing phone. It was 4.25am on the dot and the phone was ringing, it wasn't the first time and he knew it wouldn't be the last.

The answer phone kicked in.

Even with his hands over his ears he could still hear him on the line. He heard him whispering, mocking him, laughing at him, taunting him. Click. the phone had been put down, the answering machine beeped. Raising his head he left the edge of his bed and walked out and replayed the message,

"Adam, sweetheart, don't pretend you're not there. I love you. Just pick up the phone, be a good boy, come on there is no point ignoring me I know you, you want to answer the phone… Fine I'll call again tomorrow too see how you are doing."

Silence.

Sliding down to the ground, Adam placed his head in hid hands. He knew he should have told someone months ago but to start with he thought it was okay, he thought it was just a joke. Now… now he knew he couldn't say anything, the repercussions would be unbearable. Adam sighed as a tear trickled down his cheek and dropped into his shirt collar. 4.30 he had to be at work in an hour, there was no way Ross could get any sleep now. Entering the kitchen he poured a cup of coffee and turned on the television. At this time in the morning Adam didn't expect there to be anything on, but he welcomed the noise. Barely noticing the coffee his mind wondered.

"Ross." he answered gruffly. It was early and he hadn't got in till late. He didn't even care if it was his boss he wanted his sleep. There was no reply from the other side. "Hello. Ross here." There was heavy breathing on the other end. Angrily Adam threw the phone down, it was too early for prank calls.

Sighing and shaking his head Adam looked at his watch. He rose and grabbed his keys, it was time to get to work.

"ADAM!" the shock nearly made Adam fall of his chair.

"What are you trying to do Mac, give me a heart attack?" He was rubbing his chest about where his heart would be, trying to calm it down.

"Sorry, but you weren't listening to me and I need the answers to the wheel treads I gave you early." After a few clicks Adam had brought u what he needed. Mac looked at it, his hunch was right. "Thanks Adam." Adam turned to him and smiled, he looked terrible. "Are you alright Adam?" Mac could see the dark circles under his eyes and his hands had started to shake.

"N-no," Adam stated to shake his head. "I'm fine d-don't worry 'bout me!" he laughed nervously and returned to look at the screen. Mac wasn't convinced but he didn't have time to find out now, the kid needed time off, he had been working nearly 24/7 only going home when he was told. Mac squeezed his shoulder reassuringly and nodded before leaving.

Mac watched as Flack took the guy from the interrogation room. Riley Jackson, he had eluded capture twice, but now there was no escape. It had been a long day and Mac knew he should get home and sleep, but right now he would have to fill in the forms, then the case would be finished for good.

Back at the office it was nearly completely deserted, some of the night shift were arriving and going for debriefing and only the cleaners were present. Reaching for the forms Mac sat at his desk and finished up, the quicker he started the quicker he would be able to get home and get some well earned rest. Halfway through his writing he heard the clicking of a keyboard, it was odd, no one should be using the lab now. Confused he walked out of his office and into the general direction of the sound.

Adam was sitting at the computer it was 3.14am but he would rather be here than home. He looked down at his hands, which were shaking again he was remembering.

It had been another long day and he had barely managed to get out of the office without being shouted at for completely messing up, as usual. Opening the door to the apartment he noticed an envelope lying face down on the floor. Odd, the mail had already come. On the front was only his name, it had been hand delivered. Carefully he had opened it and read it:

Dear Adam,

I'm sorry I didn't talk to you last night but I was so nervous. Hearing your voice was just so relaxing I didn't want to ruin the moment.

"Hey, Adam, hello?" Adam jumped as he felt a hand on his shoulder. "What are you still doing here everyone else went home hours ago." Mac looked concerned and confused.

"Uh…yeah sorry urmm was, well was just trying… it was just I wanted to, you see all that happened was…" Mac tried to decipher the cryptic message hidden in Adam's rambling and gave up.

"Whoa, Adam slow down. What are you talking about, why do you want to stay here?" Adam returned his gaze to the ground, he didn't want to tell him, he didn't need to know.

"Sorry I was just finishing up I'm going home now anyway." Mac watched as the young man picked up his bag and headed to the elevator, There was something wrong, but what, he didn't know. Back in his office he completed the paperwork and filed it ready for the morning.

Adam fumbled with his keys, he knew what to expect but that didn't make it any easier. Opening the door he saw the envelope on the floor, he didn't want to read it but curiosity took the better of him.

Chapter 2

Mac's mind was still on the last case it had taken so long and had taken it out of everyone. They all needed some time off, but he knew that wouldn't happen already two new cases had arrived on his desk in the morning. He waited for the rest of the team to arrive, it was only 6am he didn't expect them for another hour. Sleep was what he needed, but no matter how hard he tried he could never drift off. Leaning back on his chair Mac stared out into the lab, from here he could see pretty much all of the lab, a perfect place to keep an eye on everyone. He sat back up straight. Something had caught his eye, in the lab over the far side, someone was there, the night shift weren't in at the moment and anyway why would they use his lab.

Curiosity took over and Mac wondered over to the person who was sitting hunched over the desk. 'It can't be' Mac thought, 'I sent him home hours ago'. By now it was obvious something was up, but was unsure if he would find out what it was.

"Adam, what are you doing here, your shift doesn't start for another hour?" It wasn't as much a question as a statement.

"Well neither does yours." Adam replied with more confidence than he had expected against his boss, but he did have a point.

"I'm just sorting out the cases, but you shouldn't be here." Mac was firm. He waned to know why Adam was here, but also wanted to make sure he knew he was in charge. "You know how it is when you can't sleep… you may as well do something productive." Adam failed at an attempt to smile, the truth was he was too tired to smile but knew he wouldn't be able to sleep. Mac looked at him with obvious annoyance, why wasn't he telling him what was up.

"Adam you look exhausted, I should really make you take the day off…" He wanted to see how Adam would respond.

"NO!" Adam didn't mean to shout and so calmed himself down. "I mean no, its alright just neighbours… they were having a late party and they will probably be at it all day, it would actually be quieter if I stayed at work." Adam hated lying, he wasn't very good at it, but it was easier than trying to explain the truth. Mac wasn't convinced but decided to let the matter drop. Nodding his head he left Adam who had returned to his former position over the table. He would keep an eye on him, when he could spare one.

"Are these the new cases then?" Stella had walked in without Mac realising, he was in a world of his own.

"Hmm?" he looked at what was in her hand, "Oh yeah, urmm, yeah those are the new cases." Stella eyed him with confused curiosity. "There's one robbery and one suicide. Night shift gave them to us pretty straight forward, they've already collected the evidence." Even though he spoke Mac's mind was elsewhere.

"Mac?" The detective looked up to see Stella watching him with worry etched on her face. "Are you okay? Is there something on your mind?" He sighed, Adam was on his mind, the young man was not, well not Adam.

"I don't know you spoken to Adam recently?" Stella would have found the statement odd if Mac had asked her this a few months ago, but now, she knew what he was trying to get at.

"I know I've seen it as well, there is something, not quite right with him, he's not being 'Adamy'!" They both understood the statement, Adam was usually quite energetic, if not eccentric at times, there was a natural quirk in the way he worked and spoke, now he wasn't. Now he seemed so withdrawn, so quiet, just getting on with his job in an almost robotic way. "I'll keep an eye out for him Mac." She knew this wouldn't put his mind at rest, but maybe it would help. Mac just nodded, then his phone rang, sighing he answered,

"Taylor… okay on my way." he closed his phone and turned back to Stella. "There's a dead body found off the junction on Chamber's street and Centre street" Stella grabbed her coat and called for Danny to follow her and Mac to the crime scene.

Flack brought over a cup of coffee for Mac, "Single gun shot wound to the chest, he bled out." It seemed to be a very simple case. "But," Don continued, "It was what we found on him which raised a few eyebrows." Here Flack passed a bag containing an envelope, addressed to the crime lab. Mac placed on a pair of gloves and opened the bag to get at the letter. It had been hand written and there was no indication of who it may be from. He placed back in the bag without opening it.

"I'll take it back to the lab, see if there are any prints." he didn't seem too convinced he would get anything but it was worth a try, maybe the killer had had a bad day.

Danny had arrived back at the office with the evidence they had collected at the scene, the letter was on top of the box. Crash, the box was dumped on the lab table, causing Adam to flinch at the sound. "Sorry, I didn't see you there." Danny really hadn't meant to frighten him, but he really didn't know he had been there. "You seem awfully quiet, are you okay?" Adam just looked up in a daze at Danny.

"Yeah I'm fine I think I doze off for a second or two, sorry." Danny eyed him with suspicion but carried on.

"There's a new case I was wondering if you could help me sort out of some of this evidence," he handed him the letter, "Can you see if there are any fingerprints on that." Adam took the envelope and suddenly started to shake.

"Has anyone read the letter yet?" he asked, almost casually. Danny looked at him for a second then shook his head.

"No we didn't even think, I suppose it probably is important if we read it." Here he took back the letter and carefully opened the envelope. Adam watched with nervous eyes as Danny unfolded the piece paper inside and listend as he read it aloud,

"Darling,

I write this to you in the hope you will understand how serious I am. I love you so much and as you can see I would kill for you, don't block me out of your life. Give me a chance."

Danny placed the letter down, obviously disturbed by it. It was odd it would be addressed to the lab, who was it for, who was it from? He hadn't heard anything from Adam so looked up to see what he was doing, he was gone. "Adam, Adam?" He heard muttering coming from the corner of the room and swivelled round to see Adam leaning against the wall, mumbling to himself.

"I should have… no couldn't do that… but what if…. How would you know… he needs… no can't do that… what to do, what to… is it really… no can't but the hand-…" Danny shook the man who was now almost cowering.

"Adam, ADAM! Here me buddy, what's going on." he bent down to look into the eyes of the quivering man. Adam just shook his head,

"Sorry Danny, I just, well I'm sorry it doesn't matter." Brushing past Danny the young lab tech went to pick up some of the evidence and started to lie it out on the table. Danny still stood by the corner worried and slightly confused by what had just happened. He needed to find Mac.

"Hey Stella." Danny saw her just about to walk onto the elevator. "Have you seen Mac?" She watched him and saw the worry on his face.

"Yeah… he just went down to see Sid. What's wrong?" The young man sighed,

"I don't know… and that really scares me." The conversation was over and he left her to get onto the elevator. He took the stairs, it would give him time to work out how he would explain it to Mac without sounding like he was overreacting. On his way in Danny saw Mac about to enter the elevator, "Mac!" he shouted as he ran over to join his boss. "I need to have a word with you." The older of the two men looked at the younger querying what he wanted to talk about. They both entered the elevator as the doors shut.

"Shoot." Mac replied.

"I don't want to sound…" it was difficult to find the right words. "…overprotective, but I just came from Adam's lab and well, he nearly freaked out when I read the letter." Mac nodded and asked about the letter. It was odd it was addressed to the crime lab, they all knew that.

"I know what you are getting at, I tried to talk to him early but failed. He doesn't seem himself, I was talking to Stella about it, there is definitely something wrong. I'll swing by him again now. Thanks for the info though." The doors opened they both got off and went in separate directions.

It couldn't be him, it just couldn't. Adam knew in his own heart it was, but may if he kept telling himself it wasn't, maybe… he knew it was useless. "Adam?" Mac had crept in behind him and had tried not to scare him too much. "Are you alright you look shattered are you sure you don't want to go home?" Adam looked up, his eyes had started to look red and puffy. "You've been crying?" Although it wasn't really a question. "Look I'm always here to talk you know that right?" there was concern all over Mac's face, he knew there was something important going on with Adam, and if it somehow involved the case, he needed to know. Adam just shook his head.

"Sorry Mac, no I'm fine its just…" his voice trailed off as he thought back to the letter last night.

Dear my baby,

You need to stop ignoring me, I'm here for you. I love you and want to be there for you. I would do anything for you and I mean anything. I'll call you later, please pick up.

"Adam?" The lab tech had been staring of into the distance. Mac gently shook his shoulder and Adam suddenly came back to life.

"Oh sorry I was just thinking." Again he started to drift when his cell rang. "Ross…" Crash. The phone had hit the ground Adam stood rooted to the spot his hand still held near his ear. The phone was still on,

"Hello… Adam sweetie are you there? I see you are at the lab I was wondering if you would want me to come by… how's the case going? Do you understand it now?"

Mac didn't like what he heard or saw, he grabbed the phone to talk to the man on the other end, "Hello? Who's there?" the phone went dead. Looking at the phone Mac brought up the recent call log, there were over fifty missed calls, all from the same number. "Adam who is this? Adam!" The older guy looked at the young one who was still frozen to the spot, there was fear in his eyes. "Adam, what's wrong?" He tried to shake the kid out of his daze an it worked.

"It's just ha, oh sorry no… I was just gonna…. Well you see it was… and then with all this, and then I didn't want to say, but then who would…" Somewhere in there was an explanation but Mac didn't have time to sort through the somewhat slurred speech.

"Adam, follow me." Leading the man into his office he sat him down on the couch and the bent down in front of him. There was so much panic is the tech's eyes, he looked worn out. Mac had always seen him like a son and to see him like this was heart breaking. "Please, from the beginning tell me what happened." He spoke slowly and kept his voice low as to not scare the boy. Adam took a deep breath, he still didn't really want to tell him but he knew he had no other choice.

"It started about six months ago, it was just a phone call, I thought it was just a prank. Then there were the letters, just little things at first, but soon it started to get worse, telling me about how much he…loved me. Sometimes when he rang he would speak to me about how much he wanted me and…" his voice trailed off he didn't really think Mac needed to know the details. "Anyway he started mentioning things that he couldn't know, things from my apartment, things from the lab, he would even start talking about my past." Now he was shaking uncontrollably as he remembered the man who was always one step behind. Every morning 4.25am he calls… Then there is this case, I saw the letter, the handwriting was the same, I knew it was him, I knew it." Mac had listened calmly, silently, taking in everything before he spoke,

"Adam, why didn't you tell me?"

"I knew the moment I saw the letter, I was going to tell you, but I thought maybe it wasn't him." his boss shook his head.

"I meant before that, why didn't you tell me six months ago?" His surrogate son just shrugged.

"It didn't seem that important and everyone was busy with cases, it was just easier to hide it all." Suddenly it became clear to Mac how hard it must have been, he remembered when he'd had the phone calls, but he was lucky to have Stella, this boy… Standing up, Lac looked at the boy who was usually so energetic, drained of all energy at all. Placing his hands on the boys shoulders he directed him to lie on the couch.

"Get some sleep, you can stay here for now." Adam merely nodded, too tired to object.