When We Were So Young

by DemacianSentry

Love and Hate are two sides of the same coin. Once we love, we love forever. Once we hate, we hate forever. If love is eternal, then hate is eternal. But what happens when we have so much of one, and then start to build up the other? Do we carry both of them with us until we die? More importantly which feeling do we decide to make our greater? Background story on Ashe and Sejuani.

1. When I Found You

Chapter 1: When I Found You

Present. Freljord. Avarosa's Palace. The Royal Hall.

For most people, staring down the shafts of twenty halberds connected by the hands of twenty rigid men in suits, would be so very unwise. Most would beg for forgiveness in any offense they might have given and complied with the orders of these guards. But Sejuani was not most people, and Ashe knew that better than anyone on Runeterra.

"Let her be as she wishes!" Ashe commanded from atop her throne.

One guard turned only his head to face the Queen. "But your majesty, she rides her boar! She cannot be trusted to stride around in The Royal Hall on that beast!"

Ashe held up her hand. "I have already given you an order; do not disgrace me by forcing me to repeat it!"

The guards raised their halberds all at once and fell back into a gauntlet formation leading to the Queen's throne. Sejuani chuckled. "Why would such strong men follow the orders of someone so weak?" Insult was a clear intent in her tone.

Ashe looked like a proper Queen as she sat on her throne. Tryndamere had been standing since Sejuani had casually let herself inside the palace, weapon still drawn. "Your Highness, perhaps we should be more cautious of this Neanderthal-like beast. You know what she had done to the envoy of supplies you sent her people's tribe." Even today Tryndamere still found it difficult to behave in a proper royal fashion; actions and words alike.

"That's the pot calling the kettle black!" Sejuani retorted with a grin. Bristle let out a huge puff of air. The noise was a little upsetting to the royal nobles who had been in the hall since before Sejuani's entrance. Mumbled gasps echoed from the high ceiling.

Ashe let out a sigh that only Bristle's intense hearing could pick up, and declared, "All of you…give our guests and I the hall!"

More gasps echoed out from the nobles as the Head of the Royal Guard objected. "But my Queen-!"

"Do you wish to disgrace me some more? Follow my order!" Ashe turned and pointed at Tryndamere. "Not…one word," He looked as if he had some objections himself, "you need to leave as well!"

Tryndamere looked disturbed. "Your Highness, I-."

Ashe held up her hand to silence the future King. "How can you expect me to unify myself with you if you can't even help the cause of unifying the Freljord? Leave for now and try to be more civil in the future." Her orders came out clear as day, but they seemed to be worded as though all her greatest allies were behaving like opposing forces. "Please, my subjects, give us the hall!"

Confused and a bit skeptical of her intentions, all her subjects and guards left the hall. Tryndamere glanced back once to try and find some sign of fear in Ashe's face, but there was none. Only the look of patience waned from her rigid expression.

Once the oversized doors were closed, and only Ashe on her throne and Sejuani atop Bristle remained, a real tension began. "Didn't you get my message?! Why would you send a beckoned call for me to come here alone?! Do you hope to settle this with one decisive contest? Because for someone as weak as you are that would be so incredibly-!"

"Why?" Ashe's voice trembled slightly.

Sejuani stepped down from atop Bristle's saddle, and strode forward towards Ashe's throne. Her flail dragged over the smooth, blue marble floor, permanently scratching its surface. "Why what?"

Ashe stood up from her throne and came down the steps to stand two meters from the Leader of The Winter's Claw. Her facial expression looked slightly pained. "Why the envoy?"

"Why the envoy?!" Sejuani asked as if she had to explain it. "Didn't my message make that clear?!"

Ashe looked as if she hadn't the capacity to concisely respond. "Who have you become?"

Sejuani became enraged. "Who have I BECOME?!" She raised her flail and drove it down into the marble floor in front of her. Shattered chunks broke off and flew out from the point of contact as a loud cracking noise echoed inside The Royal Hall for almost a minute.

Twenty-three years ago. Freljord. Avarosa's Palace. Princess Ashe's Royal Bed Chamber.

Though you wouldn't believe it by her status in society, but toys are scarce for a member of the Royal Family. Most importantly for a princess of the Royal Family. It's not a question of money; that was not the issue; it was a question of the princess' role as a leader. Therefore Ashe had stopped receiving toys by the time she was six, and at seven years old she was left with very child-like toys to play with.

"Avarosa's Bow! My dear child you will catch your death!" An elderly handmaiden of the Royal Family exclaimed as she strode quickly past Ashe and closed the windows of her room. "It's as cold as it can be in this harsh winter! Why was your window open?!" The woman said looking down at Ashe with disappointment. The handmaiden's name was Gladys and she was old and portly, but don't let her appearance fool you, under all what appeared to be fat was actually year upon year of muscle buildup. Some guards had a running joke that she could be suited up and used as a barrier breaker in a raid. She did not find it amusing, but Ashe sure did.

Ashe looked over at the door to her room, and then back at Gladys. "I'm surprised you didn't break the door down." Ashe gave a slight giggle at her own bit of humor.

Gladys glared down at the young princess. "It would seem that you need to be reminded of how to respect your elders." Gladys walked over to Ashe with arms out to catch her.

Ashe squeaked, "Please, no!" But despite her size Gladys was also quite quick on her feet and snatched Ashe up in her strong, yet graceful arms.

Gladys carried a kicking and thrashing Ashe over to the princess' bed and sat down to lay the princess on her lap, face down. "Time for your punishment!" Gladys declared as she placed her hands on each side of Ashe.

Ashe pleaded for mercy. "Please, I'm sorry! Don't do it!" But her cries turned into gasping giggles as Gladys began tickling the young princess' vulnerable areas.

"How is that? You still feel like making jokes about me?" Gladys was working every spot she knew of.

Ashe giggled and squirmed, shouting, "PLEASE! STOP! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! BWUHAHAHAHAHA!"

Gladys finally let up and positioned Ashe to be seated on her lap. "Got any more funny jokes for Ol' Gladys?" The handmaiden said with a smile.

Ashe wiped tears from her eyes as she settled down. "No, hehe, I'm good. Sorry, tehe." Returning Gladys' smile with her own. Out of everyone in her entire life Ashe only truly trusted two people outside the Royal Family, and Gladys was one of those two. When she had settled completely, and Gladys had helped pat down her tangled hair, Ashe asked her, "Why can't I have new toys?"

Gladys put on an empathetic face and replied, "Oh child, we've been through this before, as well as your mother, you are going to be apart of the congregation in the Royal Hall soon. You won't have the time for such things anymore. When you are eight you shall be decorated in a robe much like your mother's and be involved with the day to day affairs of the land. I'm so sorry, but this is what your life is all about." Gladys stood up, Ashe in tow, and laid the princess down on her bed to start tucking her in. "Just as it has been my life to serve the Royal Family, it will be your life to serve the people of Freljord. Avarosa willing the tribes will unite one day." Gladys paused to lock eyes with Ashe. "I sincerely believe you could make that happen one day," She kissed Ashe's forehead, "I truly do. Now, goodnight and sleep tight."

Ashe nodded and said, "I love you Gladys, goodnight!"

As Gladys extinguished the candle's flame and closed Ashe's door she let out, "O bless you child, bless you!"

Comfort took a deep hold of Ashe as she fell into slumber. The night was young, but her dreams came early.

When people dream it is usually about odd things that stand in to act like metaphors for something in their lives. But Ashe's dream came early because it wasn't a dream; it was a blessing from Avarosa herself.

In her dream she was the vision of Avarosa she had seen in ancient books. She was walking down the steps that led from the palace in the middle of the night. Ashe saw things in the landscape that existed at the time before the night had taken her. As she strode past guards who bowed and people who kneeled she noticed a shimmering light coming from a barn house used to stable the Royal Horse's. She went closer and closer, but as she went time seemed to slow down all around her. Snowflakes were coming down at such a pace that each one could be examined for all their uniqueness.

Upon reaching the barn she pushed the door, which normally has to be pulled out, and saw a sight beyond her understanding. As if it couldn't be explained, but still understood, this light of some form held out what Ashe believed was a hand, but it didn't look like one.

The light started to dim out of existence as Ashe noticed a similar light making up her existence. This light receded more and more so Ashe dashed forward to share her own light with it. When the two sources connected they exploded in a bright flash. This woke Ashe straight up.

Waving her arms around like she was still trying to touch the light, Ashe realized she was still in her bed. 'Never dismiss a sign from Avarosa.' The words that her mother gave her when she was only four echoed in her mind. She knew what had to be done, and she knew she had to do it now, but she really didn't know why.

As quickly as she could, Ashe raided her closet for winter wear and got dressed in a hurry. Her clothes all looked too formal, even for winter clothes, so she grabbed a plain under sheet from her bed and fashioned it into a robe.

Once dressed, she went up to her bookshelf and pushed in three separate books. After the third was all the way in a loud noise could be heard from the back of the bookshelf and the whole shelf swung out to reveal a passageway. Ashe had been told by her personal guard how to access this exit from the palace if it ever came under siege. She knew the whole system of tunnels by heart; she had to by Royal Law.

Quickly but quietly she made her way through the tunnels. At the exit from the tunnels, nearest the barn house from her dream, a guard post was stationed for the purposes of guarding the actual entrance where this passageway exit was.

Ashe hefted a stone from the tunnel and hurled it over the guard's heads at the ground on the far side of the entranceway. It made a muffled sound that mimicked the fall of a footstep trying to be silent. This was not Ashe's first time sneaking out of the palace to misbehave on her own. As the guards followed up on the bait, she quickly dashed into the nearest snow bank.

For a few hundred meters she had to crawl through the snow because the guard's vision would still be able to make out her form, even with the soft-white sheet that meshed well with the pale-snow.

Once Ashe was free to walk she hurried herself along to the barn house from her dream. As she came near it she noticed the same flickering light from her dream. She went up to the window near the backdoor to take a look. Inside she saw an unstable fire, with a girl dressed in what appeared to be a grain sack cut open with holes for her head and arms, trying to keep the surrounding hay from catching fire from the drifting ashes.

"Hey! What are you doing?!" Ashe called out as she ran to open the backdoor. What she saw through the window instantly changed when she opened the door. The girl was facing her with a slender rock, sharpened roughly like a blade.

"STAY BACK! I"LL KILL YOU!" The girl screamed in a defiant tone that matched her stance.

Ashe was immediately struck with fright. Then she looked down and noticed a wound on the girl's shoeless right shin. "You're hurt!" Ashe moved forward and the girl backed up a little.

"I MEAN IT! STAY BACK!" She roared as she swung the makeshift rock-blade through the air in front of her.

Ashe ignored her attack and bent down to grab the girl by her wounded leg. She let out a whelp and fell down onto the hay behind her. "I'm sorry, but you can't let the cold air freeze the blood on your wound!"

"GET AWAY FROM ME!" The ruffled girl swiped at Ashe and made a tear in her cloak.

Ashe seemed unfazed by her attack and gripped at the tear to peel off a long shred of cloth. Ignoring the girl's angry demeanor she started to dress the wound on her leg. Once it was tied tight she looked up and said, "There, its good now, but you need to have it looked at by a doctor!" A smile grew across her face.

The girl was left dumbstruck, glaring at Ashe. Her breathing sounded clunky and bewildered, like after running fast. The rock-blade in her hand was trembling from the shakes in her body. "Who…w-who are you?"

"I guess I could ask the same," Ashe smiled, "but my name is Ashe. What's yours?"

The girl looked at Ashe, as if that wasn't what she had been asking. A bit of terror was present in her expression. Ashe actually thought to herself, 'She looks like a scared, lost puppy.' But decided not to say that out loud. Despite her misbehaving nature, she still had to behave with proper manners; that had been drilled into her from birth.

"M-my…my name?!" She asked with great confusion. The girl couldn't understand why this stranger wasn't trying to hurt her.

Ashe grinned. "Yeah, your name silly, what is it?"

The girl reached out with her free hand and gripped Ashe by her long hair. She held the rock-blade up to her face and said with a trembling face of anger, "Don't call me silly…you…you…stupid…whatever you are!" Her eyes were fierce. So much so that they reminded Ashe of a dangerous animal backed into a corner.

Ashe had finally gotten close enough to start noticing the girl's face. Her hair was the same white shade that her own was, but it looked like it had been cut short by a rusty saw. Her eyes were just as ice blue as Ashe's were when she'd see them in the mirror. Ashe could have believed she was a twin if she had even known who this girl was.

"Oww! Your hurting me! Please, I just wanted your name! I'm sorry! Please!" Ashe pleaded with the girl; not for her life, but just for the name, for some reason that's all she could think about. Not the rock-blade on her face. Not the threat of immediate danger to her life; just the girl's name.

The girl released her, but kept the rock-blade up. Ashe didn't pull away once she was free. She actually incredibly confused the girl and got closer so that there faces were close enough to breathe the same air. The crazed girl refocused on her ignorant enemy. "Weaklings like you would die before the winter's end!" The girl exclaimed.

Ashe looked a little saddened. "Please, what is your name?"

The girl couldn't understand or hope to understand why this over-luxury embellished girl was so intent on getting her name, and not escaping or attacking while she has a chance. "You want my name? Is it so you know who you fight before you try to kill me? If that's the case then fine! My name is Sejuani! Now defend yourself!"

Ashe pushed towards the girl as the rock-blade brushed past her face so she could embrace her in a hug. With her head nestled into Sejuani's chest she said, "Sejuani, that's a great name."

Sejuani had been about to drive the sharp tip of her rock-blade into Ashe's back, but when she heard the girl say her name she paused to try and accept that her embrace wasn't a tackling attack. "W-what…what are you doing?! Release me!" Sejuani stopped in mid-stroke of prying Ashe off of her to realize her vision had become blurry. 'What is this?' She thought to herself. 'What did she do to me?! My eyes! I can't see straight!' She blinked and looked up, but no water came down from above her. 'What's on my face?! If it's not water, then what is it?!' Sejuani felt a tickle in her throat followed by a light gasp that came from…from…her. She didn't know what was happening to her. She never felt these things before. 'What kind of sorcery is this? Why is it hard to breathe?!' She gasped for air as she felt more and more of this strange liquid, cover her face. Her eyes became too blurred to see through and they actually became hard to keep open. Something inside her fought every instinct she had learned from birth and forced her to let the rock-blade fall to the ground as she returned Ashe's embrace. "What's happening to me?!" She buried her head into the top of Ashe's head and breathed deep. It was so sweet and pleasant; she had never had such an aroma pass through her nostrils. She wanted every breath to taste this good for the rest of her life. 'Who are you?! And why do I feel so…so…so…strange?'

As Sejuani's tears lessened and her breathing became stable, Ashe took the queue and released her. Sejuani was hard to let go of, the girl wanted to keep smelling her hair. 'That's weird, I guess.' Ashe thought to herself. Once she was free and could meet her eyes with the eyes of this girl so very close, she said, "Hey, are you hungry?"

Sejuani wiped her eyes with both hands and returned her eyes to lock with Ashe's. "Yeah."

"Wait here! I'll be back soon!" Ashe made a gesture with her hand to keep Sejuani where she was and got up to leave.

Sejuani reached out both hands and tried to grab her, like she was something Sejuani wanted to keep for herself. Every step Ashe made towards the door felt like something was breaking away from her. Something she never had, but always wanted. Something she can't believe a person could live without. Something she might even kill just to keep. "Y-you…you will come back, right?!"

At the door Ashe turned around to say, "Of course. I promise!" She smiled.

"Promise? What is that?" Sejuani had never heard the word before.

Ashe looked puzzled. "Well…look I'll explain it when I get back, but just know it means I have to come back or I'm a bad person!" Then she took off back the way she came.

Sejuani was left the way she had been before Ashe had found her, but with a little something different inside. "A bad person? A promise? Hmmm."

When most people wait on someone they begin to worry by the hours that pass. For someone you love it is usually the minutes since the time they said they'd be back. But all of this was so new and fresh for Sejuani so her worry built itself up on every passing second. She couldn't understand what was up with herself. She had never worried over when someone would be back unless it was someone she shared a hut with. Then she only kept track of when they would return. She felt like Ashe was different then the people from her tribe. She stayed with people who she could only trust with not killing her in her sleep, because she was no threat to them. But with Ashe she felt like she could trust her so much more. She was so miserably confused. Sejuani had never met a single person that didn't want to fight her for dominance. This feeling of mutual submittance was almost appalling to the way she had been raised. 'What is wrong with me?!' She cried out in her mind. 'Why am I waiting here? She could return with stronger allies and have me killed?' Some in her tribe had alliances up to the point where they would hurt others to keep each other safe. It never lasted too long with struggles for power and the like, but it still happened.

Suddenly Sejuani felt the air in her lungs leave her body all at once with a feeling of incredible tension as the door opened. But she breathed in relief as Ashe came through the door alone. Her feeling of tension immediately returned as she noticed Ashe holing a few metal skewers in her hand. She stood straight up, brandishing her rock-blade, and screamed, "SO YOU DO WANT TO KILL ME?!" Sejuani felt a thousand voices screaming in her head that she had been betrayed, and she felt fear for the first time in her life. But not for her life, only for the feeling that something so great that she had just been given, was just a shallow lie.

Ashe looked bewildered and looked at the skewers in her hand. Then she met Sejuani's eyes once more. "Oh no! These aren't for fighting!" She held out a sack that seemed soaked in some kind of fluid. "These are to cook the meat! See?!"

Sejuani lowered her rock-blade as she took heed of Ashe's words. 'They're for the meat?!' "Oh, okay. Um…yeah."

Ashe set down a backpack she had on and quickly started to skewer the chunks of meat. Sejuani grabbed at on of the raw chunks and pulled it to her mouth. "No, don't do that! You'll get sick! You have to cook it first!"

"It's fine!" Sejuani said trying to get the meat chunk free of Ashe's hand.

Ashe wrenched it loose and stated. "You don't eat it raw! Don't be dense! Let me cook it first!"

Sejuani didn't have much of an argument; she had never been given food before. She decided to sit still and watch Ashe stick the prepped skewers into the ground near the fire.

As the fire crackled and Ashe got the last skewer set just right she looked up to see Sejuani eyeing the cooking meat with lust. She licked her lips constantly and looked a little sad. "Fine!" Ashe let out as she pulled a raw chunk off of the last skewer and handed it to her. Sejuani dug right in. As she did, Ashe could see tears run down her face. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine!" Sejuani exclaimed as she batted Ashe's hand, which was trying to wipe the tears, away. The meat tasted like nothing she had ever had before. It tasted better than regular meat.

"You like the meat? It's marinated!" Ashe explained.

Sejuani nodded her head. She could taste something odd in it, like oil and something that made her mouth tingle in different ways. Shred after shred of meat was torn away and roughly chewed by this savage girl.

As Ashe looked on, trying not so show her notice of more tears, she realized just how starving this girl might have been. The fire roared hot and quickly cooked the meat. When it was ready, Ashe put on a leather glove and grabbed one of the skewers. She gave the matching glove to Sejuani and said, "Here, it's ready!" But Sejuani grabbed the skewer with her bare hands and started devouring the meat. "No! You'll burn your hands if-!" Ashe notice that Sejuani wasn't reeling in pain from the heated metal; instead she didn't seem to notice. Ashe wondered if she was really that hungry. Then she grabbed one of Sejuani's hands.

"Let go!" Sejuani tried to pull free, but Ashe held tight.

Ashe held her wrists with one hand as she became marveled by the feel of her soft fingers on Sejuani's rough hands. It was an incredible feeling that gave her nostalgia of her father's hands when she was young. "Wow! Your hands!"

Sejuani kept trying to pull free, but she was way more concerned with eating to stop and fight the girl. "What about 'em?"

"They're so rough!" Ashe set her left cheek on Sejuani's right hand and rubbed up and down to feel the texture.

Still incredibly hungry, Sejuani stopped pulling meat from the skewer to soak in the feeling of Ashe's baby-smooth cheek. As Ashe continued to rub her cheek on Sejuani's hand, she also started to caress the girl's soft face. Ashe looked up and smiled as she pulled away. Sejuani didn't feel like she wanted the moment to end, but when it did she got another new and strange feeling that made her want to hide away. Like shame, but not the same kind of shame as losing honor. More like a shame of holding onto something for far longer than she was comfortable with.

Ashe got her backpack open and pulled out a pillow and a wool blanket. "Here!" She held them out. "Eat your fill and have a good night sleep! I have to get back to my home or I'm going to be in trouble." Ashe smiled sweetly at her.

Sejuani took the blanket and pillow into her lap and felt her whole body cringe down into them. She gasped in air and tasted more of the strange liquid along with the pleasing scent of Ashe's hair in the fabric.

"What's wrong?" Ashe said as she bent over Sejuani.

Sejuani lifted herself from the pillow and exclaimed, "Nothing! I'm fine!" Then she threw the pillow behind her on the hay and joined it with the blanket draped over her body. She lay there shaking. Not because she was cold. It just felt like she couldn't stop shaking.

Ashe crawled over and lay down next to the suddenly timid girl. She put an arm her and whispered, "It's okay, you'll be fine here." Sejuani's eyes from Ashe's point of view looked like they wanted to believe everything she said. Ashe pulled the robe pin from its spot, etched with Royal markings, handed it to Sejuani and said, "If anyone asks you what you are doing here, show them this. They will leave you alone. I promise." Ashe leaned in and kissed Sejuani's forehead. "Have a good night sleep okay?"

"W-what was that?" Sejuani asked in great puzzlement.

Ashe looked confused. "That was a kiss goodnight, silly, uh I mean, sorry."

"With your lips?" Sejuani inquired. She had seen grown men and women kiss while they made 'love' as they called it, next to her in the hut. But she had never known it was done on somewhere besides the lips. "That's not a kiss."

Ashe grinned. "Oh you mean a real kiss. Like this?" Ashe leaned in to peck Sejuani's face, but she cringed away in fright.

"No!" Sejuani closed her eyes. When she opened them she realized Ashe had backed away.

"Sorry. Goodnight!" At that she rose up and walked out the door; leaving Sejuani alone once again.

Sejuani grabbed at the hay where Ashe's head had been laying and snorted it for her scent, but got more of it from the pillow. She pulled out the robe pin and studied over it before clenching it tight to her chest. All of a sudden she wasn't hungry, her chest was tight. She grabbed at it and wondered, 'What is wrong with me?! What is wrong with me?!' Over and over she asked herself until somewhere between her thoughts on meeting Ashe, her questions for herself, and the sweet scent from the pillow, carried her into a deep slumber. It was the most peaceful sleep she had ever known. And if it hadn't been for how troubled she was feeling internally, she might have been able to enjoy it so much.