Remembering
It was a cold day, snow was covering the ground, but not so cold that the idea of going to an outdoor funeral sounded completely alien...
Courtney Larkin stood in the snowy graveyard, surrounded by a small crowd of friends, her 4-year-old daughter, Annie, held close in her arms. Her husband, Duncan, so close... and yet so far away. It had been about two years since she had gotten the call that her husband was never going to come home, he had to stay in the hospital... brain cancer was slowly taking him from them.
"Mommy" Annie whispered, tears soaking into the floral-printed scarf, "I want Daddy to come home, I don't want us to forget him"
Forget, Remember, Promises
In Courtney's mind, these were the worst words in the world. The final words he said to her...
It was a warmer day, but the beach felt somehow colder than normal. They lived by the beach, so it wasn't uncommon for them to go down there to let Annie run around in the wet sand. They loved watching their baby so happy, the sun glinting of her olive skin, salty breeze sifting through her long chestnut hair as she chased the sea gulls. Duncan had been diagnosed about three months ago, on Annie's second birthday. Neither of them had the heart to explain to their baby why Daddy was so pale or why Mommy was looking so devastated.
At the hospital, the doctors explained to Courtney that Duncan was liable to fall into a coma at any second. Once he did, he'd never wake up.
"We are gathered hear today to celebrate the life of Duncan Harrison Larkin" The minister's own voice was thick with grief. Considering he and Duncan used to be best friends. DJ stood at the podium, bible in hand, tear's pouring out of his eyes. He continued with his sermon, but no one was listening anymore.
Tyler had a few tears in his eye's and Lindsay sat in his lap, a distant look on her face as though she didn't understand what had happened, Katie and Sadie held each other and sobbed. Gwen had her head buried in Trent's shoulder, her body shaking, as he softly stroked her hair. The overly-emotional Owen was bawling onto a woman he had in his bear hug, she was beginning to turn blue.
"Now if anyone would like to, please come forward and tell us how Duncan affected your life..."
Soft whimpers began to escape Courtney's lips and tears began to bubble from behind her eyes, racing down her cheek in the freezing air. The tracks on her cheeks amplified the cold on her face, but she didn't care.
Right now, she was so close to hoping, almost wishing, that she was asleep under the snow with her husband.
She knew it was foolish of her to believe Duncan's spirit lingered around her. It had gone on, to the next world, eternal happiness. On Earth, however, a gaping, empty sadness and despair formed inside his wife. She remembered back to that day, their final day on Earth together.
Duncan quit his job, saying he wanted to spend his remaining time with his family. His boss understood, and deeply expressed his condolence.
They all had a picnic on the beach, and for the first time, they laughed and talked over the simplest things that we all take for granted. Annie had heard the ice cream truck and, like all small children, amused her parents by going over the thousands of reason why they "need" that ice cream to survive.
After giving Annie her money for her little treat, Duncan pulled Courtney close and they watched the sun sink beneath the horizon. Giving the shimmering waves a distinct orange tone, the sun seemed to rest in that spot, as if it were waiting.
Courtney looked up at her husband, and shrieked. His eyes, glassy and unfocused, stared into space. His skin was deathly pale, tinged with an almost grey color. There was a shivering, fearful second of silence, as if all Creation and even God himself was waiting with bated breath to see what was to happen next.
Duncan talked almost calmly, "Courtney, look at the sun"
It was more of a command "Why?"
Duncan never took his eyes from the sun, he seemed so at ease. As though he had achived something incredible, and was free from the burden of trying.
He stood, "Courtney, please look at the sun."
Courtney looked, seeing the sun sink lower into the waves, all the while Duncan's breathing was becoming more and more labored.. She felt it as much as she saw it. As though ske were one with the sky, feeling the tensing and releasing of every shining wave.
Duncan summoned up the remaining strength, and turned to his wife. "Promise me something, Courtney"
He reeled and collapsed, he legs no longer able to support him. Courtney knew in her heart what was to come, there was a flood of tears.
"Never forget," Duncan's words slurred "how much I love you, can you promise me that?" Courtney was speechless.
Annie came over, holding a strawberry-creme popsicle. She took one look at her father.
"Daddy!" She dropped her frozen treat on the ground, she laid across Duncans bare stomach and began to cry, tears running freely across Duncan's abdomen, dripping into the sand.
"Promise me, Courtney" Were the final words he said. He closed his eyes, turned his head, and never moved again. His chest rose one last time, once, twice, and then it fell, never to rise again. Annie stood up and she and Courtney let the tears fall, not caring about the small crowd that had gathered around them. Annie's little treat lay forgotten.
Duncan never got his answer. Three months later he died in his coma, slipping away into the dark silence.
Annie buried her face in his mothers fore-arm, and sobbed. Courtney didn't cry, there are times when you're beyond tears. Sadness was replaced by a burning desire, and she slowly made her way to Duncan's open casket.
You read about people either looking peacefully asleep in death but they don't, or at Duncan didn't. He wasn't cold, or grey either, like you see in horror movies. He didn't look like he would wake up and smile at his wife. He looked dead, as hollow and lifeless as a dead tree. He was pale and thin, the laughing Duncan from Total Drama Island no where in sight. He died looked sad and stern, almost vulnerable.
Courtney bent down and took her husband"s hand, setting Annie down in the snow. His hand was firm, still faintly warm, she held it close to her heart. Eye's sealed tight, she prayed that Duncan could hear her in Heaven.
"I promise, Duncan" she whispered through silent tears. "I promise remember for as long as I live" The tears came heavier, it was all she could do to repeat the words one final time.
"I promise to remember, Duncan"
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