Author's Note: I haven't been as into Grey's fanfic specifically as of late, but I hope that I did this moment justice.
Also, I'm contemplating doing an "aftermath" fic of sorts but I realize that there are a few already out there. If you think it would be a good idea, just let me know.
Disclaimer: I don't own Grey's. The finale sort of makes me sad about that fact, because now I sort of wish I did. That was amazing.
After the chaos of the shooting and lights were dimmed for the night, Meredith sat with him. She sat holding his hand, refusing to fall asleep. Just hours before she'd been in his office listening as he talked about things needed to do, and what was it that she had to tell him? It had seemed like such a good decision to wait and tell him they were having a baby until later.
That was before hell broke loose. Before Gary Clark tore through the hospital killing and injuring so many of her coworkers and loved ones, eventually turning the gun on himself. Before she witnessed Derek getting shot. Before she lost the baby.
It was a strange feeling, really; it was almost like she'd already begun planning a life for the child that had been growing inside of her, without ever realizing what she was doing. Now she'd never get the chance to experience that life.
She ran a hand absently across her abdomen, wondering what she would have looked like a few months down the line, or if they would have had a boy or girl. A laugh erupted upon remembering Cristina's comment from earlier in the day, about how they both hoped the kid would have Derek's hair, but the laughing quickly dissolved into tears.
It wasn't fair. It wasn't right.
The man she loved had been shot before her own eyes. The baby they created had literally died inside of her. After everything they'd been through-everything and everyone they had fought to become "happy people"-didn't they deserve some kind of break? Didn't they deserve some kind of reward for finally doing things the right way?
Meredith sat crying, one arm wrapped around her waist while her other hand clung to Derek's, anchoring herself to that moment. Her quiet sobbing was the only noise to fill the room save for the sound of the machines Derek was attached to. She rested her forehead against the cool feeling of the hospital bed sheets, praying for some kind of relief for the situation they found themselves in, because even though he was on the road to recovery there was no guarantee that everything would be back to the way it used to be. Whether it was her body starting to give in to exhaustion or the fact that she was still crying, it took Meredith a moment to realize that something was squeezing her hand.
"Mer..."
Instantly she shot back up, her tears momentarily stopped as she dabbed at her eyes and gave his hand a gentle nudge back. "Hey. I'm sorry, I didn't mean to wake you up"
"You don't have anything to apologize over, Meredith. It's okay." Derek replied. It was obvious that his strength wasn't exactly at top notch, but that was to be expected. "How are you?"
At that, Meredith felt a tight knot begin to form in her throat. "I'm supposed to ask you that question."
Derek winced as he tried to adjust his position on the bed. "I've felt better, but I'll be okay."