As mentioned, this is the (very brief) backstory to An Agreement. Not entirely necessary to have read that first, although it would probably be helpful. Featuring bisexual!Minerva and lonely!Albus. Almost certainly AU. R&R!
Disclaimer: I take them out to play and put them back (more or less nicely) where they belong.
'Thank you, my dear,' said Dumbledore as Minerva passed him the tea, and she realized she would never fall in love with him.
'You're welcome,' she replied, offering him a smile and enjoying the pleased surprise on his face. She was curt in the mornings, usually, not cheerful like he was. She liked his exuberance. It was preferable to the sombre gravity he exuded on occasion, when whispers of the things not right reached his ears.
She was curt because she was not a morning person. This amused him.
Pomona Sprout was a new addition to the staff, and Minerva was very pleased by this. She and the Hufflepuff had enjoyed an excellent friendship during their schooldays together, and it was a simple thing to renew that friendship now.
'But how do you meet people?' The Herbology expert bemoaned the lack of handsome wizards on staff and the isolation of the castle. Minerva, not having an especial preference for wizards over witches, shrugged and laughed. Pomona thought this unfair and accused Minerva of having more options.
'The Headmaster?' Minerva suggested with mock seriousness. 'Is he not a handsome wizard?'
Pomona suddenly looked awkward. 'I thought – I mean, I'd heard –'
'Which one?' Minerva asked promptly. 'That he and I are engaged in an illicit affair, or that he is a homosexual?'
Pomona, who had hidden her red face behind a cup of tea, spat out a mouthful of it. Minerva laughed outright. Pomona, always good natured, joined in after mopping herself up.
'Both, I suppose,' she admitted with a grin. 'Though I did rather think I would know if you were interested in someone.'
'Perhaps,' Minerva answered enigmatically. 'But on the other front, he is, indeed, uninterested in witches.'
'Is that common knowledge?' Pomona asked, returning to her tea.
'Not precisely,' Minerva replied. 'There are rumours, obviously, and I do think he is more bothered by them than he pretends. But it is more or less fact among the staff.'
'That doesn't mean that you can't have feelings for him,' Pomona pointed out. Minerva conceded this.
'True, in that sense,' she replied. 'But I had a revelation the other morning, actually.'
'Did you? Do tell.'
'Nothing spectacular,' Minerva assured her friend. 'Just that I know Dumbledore well – quite well, in fact – and I am confident that he is not the sort of person I could ever really love. Romantically, of course.'
'Why not?' Pomona was curious.
Minerva waved a dismissive hand. 'Oh, secrecy, manipulation, philosophy – take your pick. My heart is safe from him.'
Pomona nodded. 'But he's your friend?'
Minerva smiled slightly. 'Yes. As much as he will allow. I think he's rather lonely, actually.' Come to think of it, it had been quite a while since Minerva had had a companion, herself. An idea came suddenly to Minerva. She was distracted for a moment before filing it away to be examined later.
'That's…actually really sad,' Pomona said, after a long moment, and it took almost two bottles of elf-made wine to bring them back into good spirits.
/***/
Minerva took two days to work up the courage. In Dumbledore's sitting room, he reading a book and she correcting essays, she looked up suddenly and said, 'Have you ever had a lover, Albus?'
To his credit, he did not react with the outrage she would have. He did, however, smile with some amusement at her. 'I haven't thought about that in a great number of years,' he replied thoughtfully, but Minerva detected a sadness in his eyes that he hid by returning to his book.
She nodded to herself and went back to her essays.
/***/
Minerva met with Amelia Bones in the Three Broomsticks on the students' next Hogsmeade weekend.
'Minerva, how are you?' Amelia asked, leaving over to kiss Minerva's cheek.
'Fine, thank you,' Minerva replied, waiting for their drinks to arrive. 'And you? How's the ministry these days? I heard a whisper about a promotion on your horizon?'
Amelia shook her head. 'How you get your information, I'll never know. Well, nothing's official yet, you know Department politics, but I may soon be moving from Wizengamot Administration Services to Magical Law Enforcement Patrol.'
'Congratulations!' Minerva exclaimed with a bright smile. Amelia's ambition had served her well. Minerva was content at Hogwarts, but she could be pleased for her friend's success. 'Owl me when it's official and we'll go out in London to celebrate.'
Amelia looked pleased with this. 'Thank you, Minerva. Now, tell me. You didn't invite me to Hogsmeade just to confirm rumours. What's this really about?'
'Very well.' Minerva took a moment to gather her thoughts. 'Am I good lover, Amelia?'
Amelia nearly choked on her gillywater. 'Excuse me?'
Minerva shrugged, frowning. 'It's been longer than I'd care to admit, and you have the most, ah, experience with me.'
Amelia raised her eyebrows, but she was grinning. 'Experience? I suppose that's true.'
'Alright,' Minerva said impatiently, 'come now, just answer the question.'
'You were wonderful in bed, Minerva,' Amelia said, still grinning widely. 'Some of my fondest memories are of you sprawled –'
'I remember, thank you, Amelia,' Minerva interrupted hastily. 'You're quite scandalous, you know that?'
'Have to get it out of my system before the big promotion,' Amelia laughed. 'Why are you asking, Minerva? Fancy another go-round?'
Though Amelia was joking, Minerva was momentarily caught up in memories of their time together. Amelia had been straightforward and brusque, but her tender moments were ones Minerva cherished. Never quite in love, but each harbouring an attraction and fondness for the other, they'd spent several months together before ending things (semi-permanently) quite amiably.
'We agreed last time there were to be no more lapses,' Minerva said sternly, only half joking.
'I know, I know. More's the pity,' Amelia added, winking. 'No, seriously, Minerva. Why the question? You were never one for insecurity.'
Minerva hesitated, choosing her words carefully. She owed Amelia at least part of the truth. 'There is someone I'm considering…ah…'
'Propositioning?' Amelia suggested, now entirely serious.
Minerva shrugged. 'Yes, I suppose. Not out of any romantic interest. It's complicated. But I thought before I did so I ought to, well –'
'Double-check your merchandise?' Amelia filled in, and Minerva called forth her sternest glare. 'Alright, I'm done. Rest assured, Minerva, that you are quite a lovely shag.'
'Thank you,' Minerva said primly.
'Witch or wizard?' Amelia asked after a moment.
'Wizard,' Minerva replied, now perusing the menu.
'Hadn't you do better to ask one of them?'
Minerva glanced up. 'I suppose. I haven't really very many to choose from – certainly not one I'd feel comfortable asking.'
Amelia shrugged. She was rather exclusively interested in witches herself, and Minerva's attraction to wizards as well was something she never pretended to fully understand.
'I'm almost disappointed,' Amelia said, picking up her menu at last. 'I thought for a moment you'd fallen in love.'
'I'm far too sensible for that,' Minerva replied matter-of-factly, and both witches laughed.
/***/
There was a knock on Minerva's door some evenings later, just after dinner. She set aside the homework she'd been marking and waved her wand to open the door.
Dumbledore crossed the threshold wearing a heavy winter cloak. 'Good evening, Minerva,' he greeted her warmly. 'Might I tempt you in a walk by the lake?'
Minerva glanced out the window. Large snowflakes were falling gently in the calm night, the dark clouded sky clearing every now and then to reveal a glimpse of stars and moon. For a harsh Scotland winter, it was surprisingly pleasant.
'I'd love to,' Minerva decided, standing and Summoning her cloak from across the room.
Five minutes later they were strolling through the snow, Minerva's charmed boots keeping her feet warm and dry. She pulled up her hood and hooked her hand through Dumbledore's proffered arm. Fairly certain that he had something on his mind, she did her best to maintain the silence.
'Are you happy, Minerva?' he finally asked, sounding for all the world like a friend inquiring after the well-being of another. Minerva suspected otherwise.
'Generally,' she answered after a moment's thought. 'I'm not really a happy person, though.'
Dumbledore was pensive. 'I don't mean that in a bad way,' Minerva added, suddenly concerned.
'I understand,' he replied, casting her a smile. 'You are a far more determined and passionate witch than a happy one.'
Minerva nodded. 'I'm not unhappy,' she said after a moment. There was a pause. 'Are you?' she dared to ask.
Dumbledore was silent for a long moment. 'I have periods of great happiness,' he answered carefully. 'And many sources of joy in my life. You are among them, my dear Minerva. You are very important to me.'
If Minerva hadn't known better, she would have said he was romantic. 'You mean a great deal to me as well, Albus.'
'Hogwarts has been very fulfilling,' he continued softly. 'And my research was once just as satisfying.' Minerva knew that his discovery of the twelve uses of dragon blood had been fuelled by academic intrigue more than anything. She waited, but he did not appear to have anything more to add.
There was another long silence. Minerva tried to be patient, but eventually prodded, 'Do you have periods of great unhappiness, as well?'
He did not answer. Minerva took that to mean yes. 'I hope I did not make you uncomfortable, or precipitate your melancholy, with my question the other night, Albus. It was terribly impertinent of me.'
'You have certainly earned the right to ask questions, Minerva,' he replied, and Minerva flashed for a moment back to the death of the wizard she had once loved, how he had held her when she cried, how he had shared some of himself. The night they had truly become friends.
Dumbledore was once again silent, and Minerva decided that the conversation had come to an end. He looked far too sombre for her tastes. She was the stern one. 'Have I told you about Jack Lockhart's essay?' she asked, tightening her hand on his elbow. 'He wrote nearly three feet on the importance of incantations for nonverbal, intent-based spells.'
To her relief, Dumbledore laughed aloud. 'Do tell me how he managed that,' he said, smiling and indulgent, and by the time they had concluded their circle of the lake he looked far better, and Minerva decided that she needed to make a decision.
/***/
Minerva had gone to great deal of trouble to make it appear as though meeting Elphias Doge in Diagon Alley had been an accident. Fortunately, Alastor Moody had owed her a favour.
'Elphias, how are you?' she asked, shaking the old wizard's hand, thinking that it had been very lucky indeed that she'd happened to run into him and Albus once when he was visiting, and they'd invited her to breakfast at the Hog's Head.
'Well enough, thank you, Minerva,' Elphias replied, somewhat hoarsely. He hadn't aged quite as well as Dumbledore had.
'Do you have time for a tea? Or perhaps an ice cream?' Minerva offered, gesturing to Fortescue's.
'Of course, of course,' he replied, and within ten minutes they were both indulging in Florean's finest sundaes.
'So, how are things up at the school, Minerva? I trust Albus is well?'
Minerva was pleased he'd introduced the topic himself. There was a reason she'd gone into teaching rather than politics. 'Things are well!' she replied. 'The students are anxious for Christmas, of course. They're unfortunately rambunctious this time of year, completely unmanageable and impossible to teach. Albus gets great amusement from our suffering.'
Elphias chuckled. 'Pass on my regards, won't you? It's been longer than I'd care to admit since I've seen him.'
Minerva agreed to convey the message. 'I do wonder, though,' she said carefully, 'if he sacrifices anything by remaining at Hogwarts. I've never seen him leave the castle for Christmas, not since I've known him.'
Elphias tapped his chin thoughtfully. 'I think he tries to visit with Aberforth on Christmas Day, but that's never quite comfortable for either of them.' Minerva, having met Aberforth once before, had reason to agree.
'He has no one else to visit? No friends? No one…else?'
To her relief, Elphias did not look taken-aback by the question. Rather, he looked almost sorrowful. 'Well, he has the Flamels. But no one of that sort of…interest to him. Not as far as I know.'
Minerva nodded gently. 'Well, we always have a lovely Christmas at Hogwarts. Perhaps you ought to come visit, Elphias. Albus would be pleased to see you, I'm sure.'
Elphias was delighted with this suggestion, so much so that he discussed plans with Minerva for another fifteen minutes before she could get away. It was with relief that she Apparated back to Hogwarts. She respected Albus' choice of friends, but Elphias would never have been on her list. Besides which, acting the pleasant and charming witch was exhausting for any length of time.
The matter was nearly settled. The only question that remained was whether or not Albus would take to her suggestion. She could very well end up making a great fool of herself.
And Minerva McGonagall hated to be made a fool.
/***/
The night Minerva had decided upon to make her offer, she spent two hours pacing in her rooms. Perhaps it wouldn't even be plausible. Perhaps Albus was wholly uninterested in witches, not like Amelia, who had slept with wizards and found it acceptable. Pity Minerva couldn't simply ask him.
She was really making a mess of things. Maybe sex wasn't even what Albus needed. But how else could she ease his loneliness? They were both reserved people, perhaps he slightly more so, but it was easy to forget how touch-starved a person could become.
Minerva feared that Albus would never allow himself to search for love, to be open to it for himself. Not in the way she had. Maybe he'd already had his heart broken. Maybe the Victorian in him protested too strongly.
Whatever the reason, she couldn't do nothing. More to the point, it was approaching much-too-long since she'd had anyone for that sort of comfort. Albus was a deeply kind and observant wizard. He'd be a good lover, she was sure. They could both benefit. They could comfort each other.
That was the word she would use. Comfort. Make it clear she wasn't doing this solely for him. And she did love him. He had her loyalty.
Minerva swallowed. She would at least try.
/***/
Later, many years after their agreement had been settled and many nights spent together between the sheets, Minerva finally told Dumbledore how she had had her idea, how she'd come to her decision. He laughed, long and hard, when she told him of her discussion with Amelia, the careful research she'd done in preparation.
His laughter faded only with sleep. Minerva tucked herself into his arms and smiled to herself. She had been right. Her heart was safe.
