A/N Sorry about the previous upload.. It's my first time and i'm still figuring this all out. I hope to at least give out a decent story..
Day in and day out. Every single day of my life since that incident has been nothing but emptiness. Emptiness that has started eating up all of me, slow in its wake and ever present.
At first I thought that this was just a temporary feeling but as the days turn into weeks and into months and into years, I have come to accept the fact that nothing will ever change. This is my new reality and I might as well learn to live with it the best way I can.
zzzzzz
Today was another one of those days, days that made me feel numb and dead inside. I woke up the same time as yesterday or the day before or any day really since that moment in my life. A moment I never want to remember but can't help remembering. I did my job and did it exceptionally well since it is the only thing I live for now. I kept my head on the job or the game as my mother would say and not talk to anybody unless it is required to do so. I do not mingle nor make any friends. I keep to myself and all of that is fine with me. Nobody dares to bother me anymore since all the hospital staff are used to it. So used to it that they never even notice me unless there is an emergency that needed my assistance.
As I walk towards the cafeteria I of course received a 911. Grabbing a sandwich, I made a dash to the rooftop landing together with my interns. I heard and felt the helicopter as it got nearer and prepared to assess the incoming trauma. I was concentrating on the task at hand that at first I did not notice anything out of the ordinary but as we rode the elevator to bring the patient in to MRI I happen to glance at the patient's face..
Looking at the patient.. really looking at the patient this time, a thought popped into my head
That's me.. 20 years younger
I was startled at seeing my own face staring back at me.
Shaking the strange feeling that is now running through my body, I watched as the gurney that holds the little girl disappears from my sight.
Nobody knows when something big is going to happen to them. Most people say that they can sense it but i think all of that is bullshit, because i never had any feeling during the big moments of my life or maybe that is just me missing something in my brain or me being oblivious to everything, but as i said i never had any foreboding feeling but as I stare at her eyes its as if all those times that my gut instinct never help me suddenly woke up and is now screaming at me and I knew then and there that something big is going to happen to my life.
Something drastic, only time will tell...