{Because one is killing you,
while the other's killing me.}
Nico stares into the fierce blue eyes directed his way.
"Hello." The boy calls, his voice curious. Nico remains stoic, his brown eyes unblinking.
"Say hi Nico." His sister pats his shoulder to get his attention, a stern look on her face. His eyes slowly shift around the room once more before met with blue skies.
Silence continues to latch onto his vocal cords, his ears pounding with the sound of his heartbeat. He tries pushing the words out, but no matter how simple the word hi was, it refused to leave his dry lips.
"Don't mind him, he's not much of a talker." His sister's voice is thick with sadness, her gaze breaking from the boy's sitting across from them. He smiles, curiosity consuming his twinkling eyes.
"So I see. Well, I have to go now. Goodbye, Nico." The boy stands to leave and nods his head at his sister before bringing an arm up to wave to Nico, a soft smile on his lips.
"...goodbye." Is the first thing Nico has said in four days, and it makes the guy beam.
As the blond boy walks off after the doctor into the back rooms, Nico notices just how perfect it looks when the sun reflects on his back.
"Hey! Nico, right?"
Nico continues to gaze out of the class window in a dreamy haze, his attention elsewhere.
"Man your sister was right, you are pretty reserved." He chuckles to himself, as if he finds it funny. Nico does not like the thought of being made fun of. He finally turns, his gaze hardening as it clashes with blue.
"She was your sister right? I just assumed—"
"Yeah, she's my sister."
The boy smiles down at Nico, as if he is enjoying their talk.
"That's cool, she was nice. I'm Will, by the way." He finally introduces himself, his smile same as always. The smile that blinds Nico each time he sees it.
Nico just stares, because Will already knows his name. They stay in the silence, and though he's uncomfortable, he can tell Will isn't.
"Solace!" A voice calls. Will turns instinctively and grins, a grin Nico has never seen before. It leaves his heart racing and Nico is glad when Will jumps up to go speak with his friend, burrowing into his crossed arms.
Nico feels a shoulder brush against his. He turns, only to be face-to-face with Will Solace.
"Mind if I sit here?" He asks, though they both know he'd be sitting there no matter what. Nico remains silent, shifting slightly so they are no longer touching.
A few people drift over to the two, slightly hesitant at first to be seeing their friend sit with Nico. He doesn't mind, completely lost in his own blank mind as he gazes down at his crossed arms.
Will talks and laughs with his friends, and when he tries to invite Nico into the conversation there is only awkward silence. He doesn't learn his lesson, because again and again he attempts, only to watch Nico stare into space.
"I'm full, want my fries?" He calls, pushing his untouched fries over to the black haired boy. Nico looks up for the first time in the past twenty minutes, and everyone goes dead silent at the table.
His eyes peer down at the crispy fries with cheesy smiley faces punched into them and he gives a meek nod, his bony fingers grasping the plate to pull it closer.
Will watches in complete satisfaction as Nico nibbles on a single smiley.
Nico watches in amazement as Will lights up the room.
"Hey Nico!"
Nico keeps his head down, his jacket obscuring his face. He hears the sound of settling next to him, and grimaces when he feels a finger poke him in the side.
"Nico? Are you okay?" Will calls, his voice quiet in seriousness.
He gives a simple shake of his head and the blond stays silent, unnerving Nico.
"I'm here, y'know." Is the last thing he says before turning forward as the teacher addresses the class.
Nico sneaks a glance over to Will, a warmth he had never experienced spreading throughout his cold body.
Nico's wave of depression subsided the following Monday.
Will thankfully didn't bring it up when he walked in, only beaming when he saw that Nico's head wasn't pressed into his desk.
"I didn't finish the math homework last night, Mrs. Peterbs is going to kill me." He chuckled, winking at Nico when he caught his gaze.
Nico felt warmth rise to his cheeks, his eyes tracing Will.
Without a second thought he pulled out his binder and handed his own homework over to the helpless boy.
"Man you're a lifesaver!" Will thanks, looking at his answers gratefully. Nico tries not to show just how much that phrase affects him.
"Hey Nico?"
Will's voice pulls Nico from his current equation, his eyes peering up at the hesitant boy next to him.
"..yeah?" He calls back quietly, his tone guarded.
"Can I ask you a question?" Will bites his lip when he says this, his sun kissed skin paling.
"I guess." Nico replies, though the churning in his stomach tells him this won't turn out well.
"Why were you at the facility?"
The room goes quiet as Nico mulls over his answer, Will's intense stare making him feel uneasy.
"I'm depressed. I go there every six months to test for suicidal thoughts." He explains in his small voice, but Will continues to stare at him worriedly.
"Have you ever..y'know, attempted?" He clears his throat, pulling at his shirt collar.
"No." Nico answers truthfully, and Will allows a small smile to break across his features.
"I'm glad. If you ever need someone to make you feel better, I'm your guy." He grins comically, pointing at himself encouragingly. Nico remains expressionless, his eyes baring into Will.
"Why were you there?"
Instantly the blond sombers, his eyes falling to the floor beneath them.
"My dad works there. He's a doctor." His answer is sharp and curt, but Nico doesn't voice his doubt. He notices the way Will's eyes dance around the room, looking anywhere but him.
"Same here." Will stops looking around, his confusion making Nico jump, surprised by his own words.
"I-If you need someone, that is. I'm here—for you." The words are simple but he crams them out, cheeks hot and entirely flustered. He sees Will's blue eyes glisten and he watches in numbing shock as he begins to tear up.
"Thanks man." His voice cracks and he clears it, brushing an arm across his face to get rid of the mist. Nico gazes at him for a while, lost for words.
The blond's smile is breathtaking and Nico realizes he's the planet Pluto.
And if he's Pluto then Will's the sun.
And like the other planets all Nico can do is orbit, hoping one day he can get closer and not burn up.
He settles into depression for the third time that month.
Though this time it is different, this time it hurts more than ever.
He stares at the table for a moment before deciding he can't handle the chatter today. Throwing away his untouched food, he walks out of the bustling cafeteria and heads towards the nurses office.
She greets him with a knowing smile, leading him to a cot he knows very well. He lays down, one arm hanging over the side as he gets comfortable.
Slight murmurs from the cafeteria whisk their way in and he chews on the inside of his cheek, trying to discover the reason he was so terribly sad.
"'Nico?"
He turns away from the wall in time to see Will take his hand, his blue eyes bright with worry. The sight before him makes his condition worsen.
"Are you alright, Nico?" His voice is soft but tired, his chest heaving like he had ran the entire length to get there.
Nico bites his lip, not able to lie to those caring blue eyes. He simply shakes his head, his throat tightening in distress.
Will softens, pulling a chair their way with his foot, his hand remaining wrapped around Nico's. Nico can barely look at him without feeling the urge to cry, and so he doesn't.
"If you wanna talk about it I'm all ears." He offers, but doesn't push Nico into saying things he doesn't want to. Nico shakes his head again, this time harsher than before.
They sit in silence as Nico chews his lip, thinking over everything that has changed in the last few months. Thinking of how much progress he has made. Thinking of how none of that matteres when he is here with Will.
"You're so far away." He's surprised to hear the whimper escape his lips, and Will is too. The blond stands from his chair, resting a knee on the cot.
"I'm sorry. Tell me if I get too close." His voice is lower than usual as he climbs over Nico, squeezing in between the scrawny boy and the wall. Nico inhales the smell of Will and draws even closer, barely staying on the cot.
His heart pounds, the sound echoing in his ears. He stares into Will's eyes, their noses nearly bumping.
Their intertwined hands lay between them, Will's knuckle bumping against Nico's cheek. It's a good feeling.
"Is this okay?" His voice is hushed, and Nico feels his eyelids droop at the sound of it.
"Better I guess." He agrees, the feeling of Will's breaths brushing across his face leave his thoughts in scrambles.
"What would make it best?" It comes out teasingly, but Nico knows he's serious. Red creeps up to his ears, sudden embarrassment taking hold of his voice.
Will waits patiently for Nico to gather himself, a smile spread across his lips.
"If you hold me." Nico tilts his face down, much too embarrassed to ask that request face-to-face. Will rumbles with a heartwarming chuckle, and surprises Nico when he wraps an arm around his back and pulls him into his chest.
And Nico takes a hold of his sun's shirt, blazing all the while.
The next time he goes to the facility he is greeted with the sight of Will.
He smiles but it's forced, his sun kissed skin is paler and blotchy. His blue eyes are the color of the ocean caught in a storm.
"Will...what are you doing here?" His question is soft spoken as it becomes more and more difficult to stare.
"I'm just checking on my dad." He insists, but the hospital gown he wears easily disproves his lies. He falters slightly when he notices Nico staring, his red rimmed eyes fluttering elsewhere.
"I know that's not true. I've known for a while." He grinds his teeth, standing up from the waiting room chair.
"Nico.." His sister calls, grabbing onto his sleeve to stop him. He rips out of her grasp, his attention focused on Will as he slowly fell apart.
"Cut the bullshit Will. What are you really doing here?" His voice catches at the last second and he curses himself, blinking his eyes to keep from tearing up.
"What does it look like I'm doing here?" His voice is harsher than ever, his head drooping to the side. He glares at the tiles, like it's their fault for his misfortune.
"All this time? You never told me? Even when I opened up to you about my depression?"
"I didn't want you to worry about me. I didn't want to plant ideas in your head." His adam's apple bobs painfully, and Nico flinches at his words.
"This isn't a one way street. You don't get to comfort me and stay in misery by yourself. I told you I'm here for you, and I am." Will bites his lip as Nico's words swell in his chest, his hands beginning to tremble.
"I'm not here to cure you, you have to do that yourself. But I can be there for you when you're down, like you are for me." Nico tries his best to explain his pent up feelings, courage coursing through his veins. Will brings a trembling hand to his mouth, trying to stifle the tears.
"I'm worthless Nico. There's no point in trying." His voice is broken and beautiful and as the setting sun falls upon his features Nico realizes the meaning of heartbreak.
"You're my sun and the center of my universe and without you I'd drift off into space and collide with a meteor." Nico shifts closer, as if gravity were pulling him towards the other boy, and Will stares. He stares with surprise and pain and happiness and he doesn't know what to do so he let's Nico wrap him in a gentle embrace, and in that moment Nico thinks for once maybe life is not so bad.
Will crushes Nico in his arms and Nico does the same to him. They hold each other for a while before Will gathers enough courage to pull away from Nico's chest.
"I'm still sick." He starts, swallowing to clear the bile from his throat. "But I'll try. I'll try to get better." He promises, hanging his head once more. Nico takes his face in his hands, making sure Will understood him.
"You can't do this for me. You have to want to get better for yourself. You have to want to live for yourself."
"This isn't news. They all tell me the same thing. I get it okay, I'll try. I'll really try." Will tries to look down but Nico stops him, glaring into his eyes.
"Don't snip at me smart ass, just kiss me before I change my mind."
Will flushes at Nico's command but happily complies, brushing Nico's bangs as he leans down. Nico turns red as he waits, eyes closed and lips patient. He scrunches his nose when he feels no contact, a single eye peeping open.
Will rumbles with a hearty laugh as he gazes down at Nico, his heart fluttering at the sight of the boy pouting up at him.
He finally presses his lips to Nico's and a fire ignites inside himself. He wraps his arms around the dainty boy, pulling him as close as he can.
They part and for the first time Will can remember, Nico smiles. It is breathtaking and so so beautiful that all Will can do is stare in mesmerised awe.
"I think I like you. A lot." He mutters in his current state, entranced by the way Nico's cheeks turn red.
"I think I do, too. —Like you, that is." Nico becomes flustered and Will snaps out of his admiring long enough to let out a laugh—a real, genuine laugh.
"Do you think maybe we could try...dating? Once I'm stable?" This time it is Will's turn to flush and Nico smiles once again.
"Definitely." He agrees, pulling away from the other boy. His sister clears her throat and he turns to her, her eyes darting to the nurse who was currently waiting for him.
"I should get going, the doctors will get upset if they see me missing for too long." Will takes a step back, indicating towards his hospital band. Nico's eyes dim at the sight but he tries to hide it, smile still in place.
"I'll see you tomorrow, okay?" Nico calls, his words having a second meaning.
Will's blue eyes twinkle and he nods, wishing a good evening to Nico's sister before turning around and walking further into the hospital.
Nico's eyes never leave the blond's back as he's escorted into the other room.
first solangelo, bear with me. thanks for reading ^^
because sometimes, love just isn't the cure to depression. but being there helps.
(to clear any confusion there might be — Will was suicidal. Nico was depressed. )
cover credit: happ ynicos. tumblr
inspired by: www.w / 32102011-sad-thoughts-%C2% BB-completed-%C2 %BB-you-deser ve-the-sun