AN- So yeah, I've been gone awhile. The honest truth is that I'm graduating in May and due to some miscommunications with my advisor, I have had a lot more classes ahead of me to graduate than I originally thought (even though I totally sat down with him last year to make sure I had everything taken care of AARRRGGG!). So this has been an ugly semester, but I have been writing, a lot, it's just between my work and my computer deciding to crap out in October, I hadn't really gotten around to finishing anything. I'm currently in the last week before finals, meaning I have finals right now, being an art student and all, so next week is when I plan to finish the 5 or 6 odd stories that I've been working on and haven't really gotten back to (including a 00silva). This story is the result of me re-watching the first season of Penny Dreadful while getting impatient for the next one.

BTW SPOILERS FOR THE END OF SEASON ONE OF PENNY DREADFUL, IF YOU HAVEN'T SEEN IT, STOP READING AND DO IT, IT'S AWESOME!Most of the stories I've seen on this particular pairing (the few that there are) aren't very sympathetic to both and/or unrequited. I went this particular route because I saw the potential in the last episode that would lead Victor to be more inclined to feel for his creation in spite of what he's done, as they are Victor's sins to some extent as well. Whether you see it or not, that's fine, but this is set in that blank bit of time between Victor killing Brona and him helping Sir Malcolm that night. Read, Review, and Enjoy

My Creation

Victor thought to himself, as he usually did, all throughout the long carriage ride back to his home. He had to pay the driver double to get him to agree to take Brona's corpse back with him, as well as prove that he was a doctor, but that didn't bother him so much. It had been under an hour since the dying Irish woman had given her "consent" and he had put her out of her misery. Sure, it was the fearful consenting nod of a dying prostitute, but a consent nonetheless. Deep down, Victor felt a tingle where his conscious should have been about killing her, but he set that aside for now.

At this very moment, he was already too consumed with planning out her resurrection, so to speak, for his poor creation. Caliban, that actor had called him, Caliban. That was a name he would have given the beast himself up until a few hours ago, but now, it seemed so unfit. He wasn't a beast, he was a man, a lonely man, rejected by all and punished by the world he had done no harm to past being created. Created by a man not much suited to the extreme powers he was able to command with his intelligence. How little foresight he had employed when he had the idea to create his own man. All he had cared about was whether or not he could do it, anything after that seemed inconsequential. And oh, how he had panicked the instant he had realized what he had done, the gravity of the responsibility and burden now in his hands and screaming on that table. He had proven his theories and completed his life's work but at the cost of an abomination that hadn't asked to be made.

No, Caliban wasn't right, Hamlet almost seemed more fitting; a young boy without a father, slowly being turned to madness by the unfairness and cruelty of man and the world. No, that wasn't quite right either, but then again, he should let his creation be the judge of his own name. His own name, Victor was reminded again of his creation's humanity, the tears he could sense shedding as he gave his would be final condemnation. Tears Victor had matched in his pity and final understanding. As his very own Adam sat with his back so purposely turned, Victor found himself so stirred by his words that he decided to go ahead with killing him, this time however, out of mercy instead of hate and revenge. But as he heard him take his final sharp breaths as he prepared for his demise, Victor lowered his gun. Shooting him would have been easy, a simple solution to a problem that he had been avoiding, and his suffering "problem" didn't deserve that, not after all he had been through.

Right then and there Victor decided to finally take responsibility for his error and do what he could to right his many wrongs. His making a companion for his creation was only the first step.

Victor paid the cabby extra to wheelbarrow the poor demised Brona to the back of his house where his lab entrance was located and left her there to be gotten shortly. It was plenty cold outside and she would keep for a few hours anyway. He wanted to speak with his monster before he moved too far ahead, actually talk with him as an equal. Victor was cautious as he entered his lab, somewhat fearful that his gesture before he left wouldn't have been enough to calm his creation before he was called away by Ethan, but all was in order. Not a thing had been disturbed in his lab, though he did notice something missing. Where had his monster gone?

He found him huddled in a corner on top of a pile of rags and various cloths, apparently sleeping. Or was he meditating? Victor couldn't tell, as far as he knew, the creature didn't tire and had no use for sleep, so why would he? Victor could only imagine that he had taught himself as a way to escape his unending nightmare of an existence. A way for him to shut his mind off for a few hours of peace. Did it bring him any? Did he dream? Could he dream? Or was it just a deep trance he put himself under? Victor felt a great sorrow growing in his stomach, very near the sorrow he had felt towards his creation earlier. "Why did you allow me to feel?" He had said it with such emotion and plea. How could he tell him that he hadn't given it any thought? He just dove right into his fate without even stopping to consider the ramifications.

Victor stood for several minutes just staring at his pitiable abomination. The hardships he had forced on him, the torment, all because he couldn't accept what he had done. Before he even realized it, Victor found himself kneeling down before his creation. He woke with a sudden jerk when Victor placed his hand on his shoulder.

"You startled me. I'm sorry I made a mess, I didn't know how long you would be..." He sat up a little to match height with his creator.

Victor meant to say something along the lines of "No worry," or "That's perfectly fine," but all he could do was stare and take in his creation, not as a monster, but as a man.

"I'm truly sorry." Was what finally did escape his mouth, perhaps more hoarsely than he had intended.

His creation, however, seemed un-phased by the tone of his voice, reacting only to the words. The words he had so long wanted to hear said in earnest. He couldn't help but choke back a cry as Victor made to continue.

"I'm truly sorry for all the pain I have caused you and everything else I have done." He gently slid his hand up from his creation's shoulder to cup his cheek, a motion that caught the other man so off guard that he visibly shook at the contact.

Victor could tell that he had never been touched in that manner before, a manner that was so common between mother and child, and between lovers. Victor realized that was just one more thing he had denied his poor creation: a mother's touch and a lover's caress. Something every other human in the world took for granted. True, he had the makings of a mate for his creation waiting just outside his laboratory door, but that was no guarantee. Sure, he could create another being, but would it…no, she…be a mate? She would be another abomination to the world, a match for his lonely monster, but would she love him? Who's to say she would be a new person? Proteus had already begun to regain his memory of his former life before he had been slain. What if the new Brona began to remember the old Brona, or Ethan for that matter? Victor didn't want to place all of his hope for his creation on her. This thought was probably the instigating reason behind what Victor did next.

With his hand still on his creation's cheek, Victor leaned forward and gently kissed his creation on the mouth.

When he pulled away, Victor could see the pure confusion and even terror written on his creation's face. The doctor's stomach instantly sank, maybe he shouldn't have done that.

"…Why?" His creature eventually stammered out, "Why did you do that?"

Victor thought for a moment before he responded. "Because it's all I know I can give you."

His creation seemed to understand what he was trying to say and thought deeply before meeting his creator's remorseful gaze. "You may do it again."

Victor blinked in shock at his creation's willing acceptance before he leaned in to kiss him again. This time, he tentatively brought his arms up around his creature and embraced him. Victor felt him shudder again at the unexpected contact. Slowly, however, he brought his trembling arms up around Victor and matched the compression. The kiss soon grew from two pairs of lips being pressed together to something more heated.

Neither had any experience in this area so it came as a surprise to both of them when they followed their instincts and began to move their heads around. At some point, his creature…his Adam, opened his mouth, and Victor slide his tongue in. Victor took some pleasure in the reaction he got. He felt his creation tense, then relax and accept, before adding his own tongue into the equation. His creation tasted indescribable, like a mixture of electricity and chemicals. A taste that would probably be most unpleasant to most others, but Victor had surrounded himself with those elements for most of his life. To him, they were the amalgamation of all his work combined into one entity. He eventually became aware that his creation's hands had moved away from his back and were now working their way into his messy curls. Victor decided to follow in suit and stroke the long locks growing from his Adam's head. He hadn't known the color of his creation's hair when he first made him, and was pleased to see it smooth and black, so black that it reflected the light coming in from the window beautifully. He felt the other man shudder as he gently caressed the silken hair.

As he closed his eyes to concentrate on his ministrations, Victor began to become keenly aware of a hardness rubbing against him. The realization of what he was doing struck him hard, causing him to pull away from his sad creation. He never really thought of himself as one of those types or any type, but that aside, what was he doing? This was his creation, his son. No, not his son. His creation was right, he was no father, Victor didn't think he ever could be. But there was something here that was causing him hesitation. Was he taking advantage of his creation? Sure, he was just as new to this as his creation was, but this was different, he had years to explore himself and even understand what he was about to do. Would he even understand? It felt like…like a violation or something. Victor turned his focus back to his creature who looked more torn than usual.

"Is something wrong?" His dear creature looked up it him, on the verge of crying.

"Yes, but it's not you, I swear it." Victor took a moment to recollect his thoughts. "I don't know if we should proceed…"

"Truly, Creator, your cruelty knows no bounds." His monster's gaze turned harsh and he made to stand, but Victor placed a hand on his chest to still him.

Victor stammered to try and put all his conflicting thoughts into words before the other lost his patience. "Do you want to do this?" was the first this he was able to make himself say. "This….this…" he motioned his hand between them, "is a very intimate act we are on our way to performing and I don't know if you are ready."

"Oh, Creator, if you only knew how fully I understand what is about to happen." His yellow eyes bore into the pale blue reflections of his creator. "It is something that I want most. Someone or something not so reviled by the sight of me, someone who could even have kind feelings towards me." He would have continued, but was stopped, abruptly by Victor flinging himself forward and wrapping his arms around his creature. Cautiously, he brought his arms up as well, only gently returning the act. A moment or two of reassuring embrace soon returned to passionate kissing as Victor began to unconsciously grind against his creation.

When or how, Victor couldn't really say, but he soon found himself straddling his creature atop the mound of discarded rags. His creation was displaying a look of simultaneous arousal and fear. From his reactions and speech before, Victor could tell that this wasn't the first time his creation had felt like this, which was why he seemed to be so he acted on those urges? Had he done something horrible to a woman? Had she rejected him? Victor didn't want to upset the other man any further by making such inquiries, so he swallowed yet another bout of guilt and caressed the other man's cheek once more while leaning down to kiss his forehead. The expression of uncertainty gradually faded away from the creature's face and a look of contentment took its place as he brought his hand up and covered Victor's. It was a new look Victor had never seen on his Adam's face previously. The small expression warmed his heart so much, that he brought his other hand up and started to undo the buttons on his shirt.

The creature froze, his hand shooting away from the hand on his face to the one on his chest.

"It's all right." Was all Victor could manage. "Please don't shy away from me," He said as gently as he could, while he loosened his grip on a button to flatten his hand out on his creature's chest.

"I-I don't know what to do." He almost sounded on the verge of tears as his grip on Victor's hand tightened. His inner conflict of want and ignorance was written across his unnaturally white face.

"Neither do I, really." Victor lowered his voice to a whisper. "This is my first time as well."

"…And you want to share it…with me?" The creature's voice trembled and broke as he attempted to comprehend the magnitude of what was about to occur.

"Yes. You are my creation, and I am you creator." Victor returned to undoing the buttons. "And I can think of no other person I would rather share this experience with." He smiled a sad smile as his overwhelmed creature closed his beautiful yellow eyes and laid his head back down. His face crumpled into a silent stream of tears as Victor leaned down and kissed them away.

When he finished unbuttoning and removing the tattered and worn shirt, Victor glided his hands over his dear creation's stitched and scarred torso. He was tracing his fingers up and down the cold, white chest, carefully following the healed but unnatural wounds, when a thought occurred to him.

"What can I call you? 'Son' seems immensely inappropriate, and 'Creature' is not a man's name."

The Creature looked up into his creator's eyes, and was at a loss for words. "…My name is Caliban…" he finally managed out between ragged breaths.

"But that is the name of a savage, not a man." Victor removed his hands and began to undo his own shirt.

The creature let another tear fall as he thought. "What would you call me?" He looked up again as Victor removed his shirt and waistcoat.

"What about, Adam?" he looked down at his creation and gauged his reaction. "It's a little biblical for my taste, but appropriate. When all is said and done, however, it's your name and you should be the decider."

"I like Adam." He said as he stretched his black lips into a smile. Victor's heart filled, he never expected his creation…his Adam to smile.

Victor pulled his creation up to him with such unexpected force, he nearly crushed their foreheads together, "My Adam."

With that, what had been a slow pace of gentleness and caution was now forced into full speed of arousal and need.

Before he even realized what was going on, Victor found himself quite naked and kneeling above his similarly fashioned Adam. He slid his hand down the other man's chest before coming to a stop above his throbbing penis.

"Please, let me know if you want me to stop." Victor said as he tried to maintain his self-control. Adam, on the other hand, was less composed.

"I can't…do that…until you start…" was all he could manage out between ragged breaths.

Victor closed his eyes and slowly moved his hand towards Adam's hardened organ. He heard him take in a sharp breath and opened his eyes to take it all in. Adam had his eyes plastered shut and was biting his lip. His fists were clenched and trembling. Victor found himself encouraged by this and wrapped his fingers into a grip around Adam's erection. In response, Adam let out a moan that nearly finished Victor off right then and there, but he refused.

He leaned down and whispered into his creation's ear, "Wait, there's more that I can do, but you have to hold on."

"I don't know if I can." he stammered out in a voice so quiet, Victor could hardly make it out.

"Try." Victor whispered back as he pressed a quick kiss to still Adam's quivering lips, and leaned back up.

When he felt that Adam had collected himself enough, he began to slowly move his hand up and down his cock, gradually picking up speed. Before long, however, Victor was stopped by a cold hand on his own.

"I want to touch you. May I?" Victor smiled and repositioned himself and Adam so that they were lying on their sides, facing each other.

Adam placed both of his hands on Victor's chest, then started began to hesitantly explore. Victor moaned as Adam's unnatural strength made his touches more of a massage. He closed his eyes and began to stroke Adam's member again, this time, faster. Adam let out a groan at the still new touch as Victor began to pump harder and harder. Following his lead, Adam cautiously brought his hand to Victor's erection and lightly touched it.

"It's so warm. How can you stand being so warm?"

Victor didn't answer, this was going so well, and him bringing up dead flesh would only put a damper on their mood. Besides, he was too overwhelmed by the fact that someone other than himself was touching his most private part. He inched himself closer to Adam and he did the same until they were so close that their hand movements became restricted. Victor removed his hand to the soft cry of Adam's displeasure and wrapped his arms around him instead. Adam followed in suit and held Victor as tight as he dared. Victor's passion was coming to a head now as he intertwined his legs with Adam's and began to grind against him. Adam growled in response and rolled their entangled bodies to where Victor was now on top. He leaned down from his new position and claimed Adam's mouth with his own. He could feel those vise-like hands close around the back of his head as the thrusting and grinding became more erratic until they both reached their climax.

Victor couldn't say who came first, all he knew was that he was exhausted. He propped himself up to get a better look at Adam. While this was his first time climaxing because of another person, he had climaxed before. Adam, on the other hand, trembled at the slightest physical contact. He was, in fact, wide-eyed and out of breath, the last rounds of his orgasm shuddering through him. Victor leaned back down and held him close through the last of it, he wasn't sure if he imagined it or not, but he could have sworn he felt the slightest bit of warmth. Soon enough, however, Victor became more and more aware of the collective mess between their stomachs and got up to clean himself off.

Adam stayed his arm before he could fully stand upright. "Victor, wait…"

This time it was Victor who had to hold back the tears. He didn't think something as simple and mundane as his own name could affect him so deeply. But then again, it wasn't just anyone who was saying his name.

"Don't worry Adam," he crouched near Adam's head, and gently tossed aside a stray lock. "I'm not going anywhere." He picked up one of the rags that had been spared the soils of their passions and wet it in the tub of water he kept near his operating table.

After he had cleaned himself off, he dipped a different end into the water and brought it back over to Adam, who was still lying in a post coital daze. He smiled at him as he carefully cleaned off the remains of their mess and held out his hand.

"I have to help Sir Malcolm and Miss Ives tonight. Would you like to come with me as I rest?"

Adam looked up in astonishment as he took his creator's hand. He remained in a stunned silence until they reached his bedchamber. At the door, Adam stopped while Victor continued in, preparing a fire and turning down the sheets.

"Won't you join me, Adam?" He inquired softly, almost like a child.

"I've never slept in a real bed before…" Adam looked around the room, from the lit fireplace to the window overlooking the street.

Victor felt another surge of shame build up inside him. "It's warm and soft. Quite comfortable for how little I actually sleep in it." He attempted a smile as he held out a welcoming hand.

Adam allowed a smile to creep across his face as he walked over to the bed and climbed in after Victor. Moments later, they were entangled in each other's arms, with Victor resting his head on Adams chest and Adam resting his head atop Victor's.

After what seemed like a blissful eternity, Victor finally mentioned something that had been nibbling at the back of his mind for the past few hours. "I have something for you."

"Hmm?" Adam responded with his eyes closed, obviously in a more contemplative than talking mood.

"I think I may have found you a mate…" no sooner had the words left his mouth, than Victor felt the body beneath him stiffen.

"How?"

"A lady friend of Ethan's, she was dying of consumption."

"Was dying?" Adam inquired before the realization seemed to hit him. After a few moments of silence and thought, Adam turned to Victor, "Then why?..."

"Just because I have a body and the means to make you a mate, doesn't make her your mate. I have no idea what kind of person she will be or how she will react to her new life. And I didn't…"

"Didn't what, Creator?" Victor felt the arm wrapped around his back tighten its grip.

"Didn't want to see you disappointed, not again. Don't you understand?" his voice raised slightly, "Even if we were to receive the best possible results there is no way she will be able to love you the way I do!" Victor surprised himself with his words. He didn't even realize it until he had blurted it out just then.

"…You love me?" Victor didn't dare look, but he could hear the tremble in his creation's voice.

Victor did love him, he was his creation, a part of him, close to him in a way that he could never be close to anyone else. Yes, he had done unspeakable things, but they were as much Victor's doing as his Adam's. "…Yes." He confirmed after a moment of silence. To emphasize his point, he moved up to hold his beautiful, scarred head in his hands and kissed his brow.

"Even though we can't be together…" Adam said sadly.

"Yes, even though we can't be together." Victor responded while still cradling Adam's head.

"When will you begin?" He voice turned cold again.

"After I get back tonight."

"I love you, Victor." Adam stated sadly as he brought a hand up to caress Victor's nearest arm.

"I'm sorry, Adam." Victor felt a cold tear run down his cheek as he allowed himself to fall asleep.

In his dreams, which were so often nightmares, Victor saw himself with a young, scarred, black-haired man, taking a carriage ride into the city for the night.