A/N: I have also noticed there are no baby-fics for Taggart which made me wonder how they would all react if they did come into contact with a baby.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Fear
"Don't let him know you're scared, they can smell fear."
Robbie glowered at Stuart as he regarded the object in front of him. "What are you afraid of?" Stuart asked coming over as well.
"Nothing," Robbie said firmly, giving the object a poke; receiving no response he relaxed for a fraction of a second. Until the calmness of the office was broken by an ear-splitting scream. Robbie leapt away from the object in terror.
"What did you do?" Stuart demanded as both men looked on hopelessly as the noise continued. Robbie looked dumbfounded, "I didn't do anything!" He put his hands over his ears, "How do we turn it off?" he demanded.
Stuart gave him a look, "I don't think these things are equipped with an on-off switch," he said sarcastically.
Whatever response Robbie might have given was cut off by Jackie, "What are you two doing to my son?" she demanded as she came in and picked up the squalling infant.
"Nothing," both men said in unison, causing Jackie to roll her eyes as she bounced the baby gently, cooing softly to calm him down. "How did you do that?" Robbie asked in amazement, coming closer now that the screaming had died down.
"Just pure talent I guess," Jackie said with a smirk as she sat down with the baby on her knee. "Now, what have they been doing to you?" she asked the infant, the baby merely smiled and clapped his chubby little hands.
"I'm a detective, not a babysitter," Robbie replied defensively making Jackie laugh. Out of the corner of her eye she caught Stuart trying to slip back to his desk without being noticed, "And what's your excuse?" she asked.
"Don't look at me, I'm just a Detective Constable," he said, counting this as one of the few times he was glad that he was 'just a Detective Constable.'
Jackie shook her head, "Come on James*, let's get you home," she said, turning back to infant as she gathered her things together and stood up. "Say 'bye-bye,'" she instructed, lifting one of his little hands to wave at Robbie and Stuart who both waved back, making the baby smile. With one last amused look at the two men, Jackie left the room.
"At least some good has come out of this," Robbie said, once he was sure Jackie was out of earshot. Stuart looked up at him as he slipped back behind his desk, "What's that?" he asked.
Robbie glanced at him, "Now she knows we're incompetent she'll never ask us to babysit."
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*Obviously as a mad Michael/Jackie fan the father of Jackie's baby is Michael and I have always kinda thought that if Michael were to have a son, he'd name him after Jim Taggart. As "Jim" comes from James that's how you get little James Jardine :) (Though I don't think it's ever stated that Jim's name is actually James, I just decided it was because Jim just sounded like a weird name for a baby, but that's just me...)