Is that seat taken?
Congratulations.
Would you like to take a walk with me?
It's a beautiful, bright Saturday afternoon. The wind is dancing off the top of the trees; the sun is casting a lazy, yet still captivating, glare on the lake outside of the Burrow. It's breathtaking - yet I'm unhappy. My mind races, filling itself with words and excuses I've been keeping. Reeling with realizations I've been hiding from.
It's a light yet chilling day and the suit I'm wearing was made for warmer occasions. My hands are shoved awkwardly into the pockets of my dress pants, and my eyes are cast dazedly over the view of the lake.
"It's beautiful here, isn't it?"says the woman to my left.
I smile over at her, trying unsuccessfully to keep the nostalgic sadness from breaking through my gaze.
"It is," I reply. "Thanks for walking with me, Rose."
"Of course! What are best mates for?" she smiles.
"This is huge for you Rose; are you sure you're ready for it?" I ask, hoping to see a single flicker of doubt fall across her face.
"I'm positive," she says with pride. "I've waited so long for this."
I turn my gaze back to the lake, picturing myself sink below the surface - just imagining how quiet all of this panic would finally be. I sigh and feign just another smile, "Congratulations, bird."
My mind it kind of goes fast
I'll try to slow it down for you.
I think I'd love to take a drive
I want to give you something
I've been wanting to give to you for years;
My heart.
"Thank you." I glance at her from the corner of my eye and catch her smiling over at me.
"Don't mention it," I say, lifting my lips in my trademark smirk.
"I'm so glad you're here, mate; this wouldn't be the same without you," she says, stepping closer, putting a hand on my shoulder.
I shudder as a jolt of something wonderful rushes through my arm. Maybe it's a blessing she isn't mine. If she were, just touching her would kill me. Although I can't think of a better life. 'What man would be so lucky. As to have been conceived in her heart, Born in her eyes, Live on her cheeks, And die at her lips?' A quote that always comes to mind when I think of Rose.
"Of course it would." I shrug, "You'd still be happy, polite...beautiful."
She smiles again, and I take into account the flipping of my ever so foolish heart.
"You've done so much for me, Scorpius," she says, a hint of a tear coming up in her eye.
"Of course I have. I love you," I say in a friendlily tone - a part of me praying that she'd catch the double meaning hidden in my three simple words.
"I love you, too," she responds in the same wretched, meaningless pitch as I had.
"Rose..." I say, my heart clawing up my throat. "I need to tell you something... important."
This is it.
I'm admitting to it.
I'm telling her that I'm irrevocably, clumsily, dreadfully in love with her.
My heart, my pain won't cover up.
You left me... hu hu hu hu.
My heart won't take this cover up.
You left me... hu hu hu hu.
"What is it, Scorp?"
My mouth opens, closes, and then opens again. The words I had crafted together have fallen to nothing. I look at Rose and she's glowing. She's radiating a pure essence of happiness. A happiness I would never jeopardize. A happiness my being honest would ruin.
"My business has drawn me to Ireland," I lie, "I'm afraid I'll be moving there soon."
Her smile falters, but her eyes keep the same sheen I adore. "How often will I see you?"
"Not often, I'm afraid." I sigh, "About two, maybe three times a year."
"That's rubbish! I'll miss you too much!" she cries.
"Of course you won't," I say, finally stepping away from the view of the lake. "You'll have a new family to tend to."
"Yes, but... you're still a big part of the family I already have."
I smile genuinely at this. Knowing that I'm a part of something that holds a place in her life, in her heart, gives my spirit a lift.
The same lift I get when I see her happy.
Even if she isn't happy with me.
I came to see the light in my best friend.
You seemed as happy as you'd ever been.
My chance of being open was broken,
And now you're Mrs. Him.
"I should go," she says. "I have so much getting ready to do."
"Yes, since putting on a really big dress and transparent face mask takes so much bloody time."
"Transparent face mask? Are you talking about the makeup or the veil?"
"The veil, but now that you mention it..." I chuckle, "You might as well take two hours for makeup that no one can tell you have on."
"Oh, trust me, without makeup I look like a horse's arse."
"I've seen you without makeup, Rose." I laugh and roll my eyes, "And you look just as wonderful without it."
"You have to say that." She returns my laugh, "I'm a bride - and no one wants to anger it."
"Then I guess I'll have to pick my insults carefully."
She tilts her head towards me. "Insults? You have insults?"
"Well, not for you," I say, shoving my hands back into my pockets as we get closer to the back door by the garden.
"Then who for?" she asks, her posture tensing, and her pitch no longer playful.
"No one, Rose. I - I'm just trying to talk over my foot being so inconveniently lodged in my mouth."
She smiles again, and her shoulders loosen. Making me loosen a bit as well.
I look away from Rose and through the door.
Rushes of green pass my eyes as I see bridesmaids rush by the door, looking for shoes and slips and other simple things in weddings that people created just to make a fuss over.
Something seems to strike a chord in me as I watch the chaos of the moment, of the event. Something seems to have lodged itself into my brain - pushing until it bleeds.
The reality of the situation seems to set into me like bricks.
"Rose, I'm going for a fly."
My words they don't come out right,
But I'll try to say I'm happy for you.
I think I'm going to take that drive
I want to give you something
I have wanted to give to you for years;
My heart.
"You will be back on time, won't you?"
"Of course I will." I fake another smile her way, feeling guilty for all the unspoken lies.
"Is there something wrong?" she asks, walking closer to me, putting a hand on my arm.
"No," I answer, a bit too fast. "I'm fine."
"What aren't you telling me, mate?"
My eyes glaze for a moment, the same hidden truths trying to find their escape. I step away from her touch, trying to ignore the burning, the presence of her hand left behind on my arm.
"Scorpius?" she demands.
"I can't handle this all at once, Rose," I say. "I need to get away from this... just for a little while."
"Why? Is there something wrong?" Her eyes aren't gleaming the way they were a moment ago.
"Yes!" I hiss, "I'm in love with the buggering bride!"
Her posture goes rigid as I step away from her. "I'm getting married today."
I shake my head at her, an ache making its way into my mouth. "I'm quite aware of that."
I turn on my heel and walk. As fast as I possibly can.
I turn the corner, out of her view, and run towards the cabin on the grounds where my broom is.
And I can't change this.
I can never take it back,
But now I can't change your mind.
You left me.. hu hu hu hu.
Two hours pass and my mind is still muddled.
The only thing different is the stuffy room in the stuffy chair, made only more stuffy by the mist on my suit from passing through clouds.
I sit here, watching the ceremony go by in bright colours and dull speeds. I anticipate the moment, and I go over it in my mind, I stand up - I tell her. I tell everyone. Just in more depth this time.
"Objections" says the preacher, and in my mind I stand. I scream out to her, I look to her, bearing my heart. In my vision she shakes her head, a frown etched onto her perfect face - her eyes blazing with a hate I haven't seen since third year.
My mind flashes with every memory I fear she's forgotten. Hints of my attraction dropping down on her like anvils.
The moment passes. This is it.
It's over.
I've officially lost my hope, my reason to see, to walk, to breathe, to keep moving on - to feel, even.
She's gone - my Rose is no longer mine. Not that she ever was.
Just make it go away
Make it go away
Please.
The preacher smiles over at Krum, the groom. "Do you take this woman to be your lawfully wedded wife?"
He smiles back at the preacher and then at Rose. "I do."
The preacher turns to Rose. "Do you take this man to be your lawfully wedded husband?"
Rose smiles, turning from Krum and then back to the preacher. Something crosses over her eyes and she smiles brighter. "No."
AN: Something my mom sort of asked me to write. What happens after "No." is in my Shuffle story. It's Bright Eyes' First Day of My Life. Some things are way off, but it has a nice little ending if you want one.