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Full Summary: At first, it meant nothing to her, but the longer it lasted, the more difficult it became to let go. For Natsuki, through the nights of love and days of misery, she could always find a comforting balance of pleasure and pain, but when she is pushed aside by her illicit beloved and replaced, will she fight for her desires or comply with the new arrangements? AU. Slight, but unintended, OOC. Shiz/Nat.

Rated T (as of now): Is suitable for teens, 13 years and older, with some violence (though, not at all gorily vivid), minor coarse language, and minor suggestive adult themes.

a/n: Views, opinions, and suggestions are always generously accepted. This is a very short read; however, fear not. This is only an introduction and, I assure, future chapters will contain more. Thank you.


Spilt Milk and Liaisons

the prelude

From a distance, the clouds shook as a thunderous roar echoed throughout the skies. The soft hue of blue twisted and mottled gray. Lightning struck relentlessly and dangerously on arid land. A scent of sea salt mixed into the air. Only when the subtle thuds of rain against the roof and and another rumble of thunder rolled through the skies did she startle her from her thoughts. She shifted her dim, unfocused eyes to the glass window beside her, arms settled on the wooden table of the booth she sat in. Murmurs of private conversations, polite requests of assistance, and the elongated whip of the wind against the glass now reached her once deaf ears. She remembered her surroundings, but didn't acknowledge or observe them.

Natsuki Kuga sighed, disgust twisted into her delicate frown as she stubbed the half-way burned cigarette in the ash tray on her table and stared at her reflection from the empty glass in front of her. Somehow, she could still hear the agonizingly desperate and hysterical pleas ringing in her ears. It seemed that swallowing shot after shot of the clear colored liquid she could no longer could remember the name of wouldn't help with ridding of the painful afflictions etched into her mind like scars; never to be forgotten or unseen. Her fingers curled into her palm, nails etching crescent moons into the skin.

How long had it actually been since she arrived?

How long would she stay?

How long can I stay?

Through the slight daze of her intoxication, she heard soft thuds against the worn floorboards of the run-down bar languidly stalking up behind her. Natsuki frowned, eyes casting back to the window as her fists trembled, white-knuckled... then loosened and fell open upon the table. She glanced at them. Anguish pooled in her emerald eyes and she winced as the knowledge of who exactly would come after her danced across the haze of her mind. When a hand was placed on her shoulder, she childishly refused to meet soft, understanding eyes with her own tired, swollen ones. The hand rubbed and squeezed her shoulder soothingly. Emerald narrowed, now stolid with obstinate concentration.

"Natsuki? Are you... are you feeling fine? It was a pretty wild night, wasn't it? Want to talk to me? I'm always here for you." The gentle coaxing of dear, sweet Mai Tohika only fulfilled in rising her rage. She didn't want it. She did not need her pity.

"I'm... fine." She slurred drunkenly, huffing in annoyance. "Are... are you here to take me home... or something? 'Cuz, I'm... fine. I'm perfectly... fine."

"Natsuki... It's... I'm sorry."

The constriction of her diaphragm in raw emotions of torment, rage, and despair felt as if it were slowly killing her. A weight settled upon her chest and she struggled to breath; the erratic, short gasps suffocating and not enough to sustain the tears welling in the corners of her eyes.

She wanted to scream.

She wanted to grit her teeth.

She wanted to hurt something... someone.

Rubbing the back of her palm over her cheeks and glassy eyes, Natsuki held a scream by gritting her teeth, and enclosed her arms around her torso in effort to calm her malicious intents. "Can... you take me home... Mai?" She was quieter, voice smaller with less effort and power; a rarity from the raven-haired lioness. Exhaustion had taken its toll on her and more alcohol would be of a no-good solution for that.

If she could just lie down... everything would be O.K for the time being.

When Mai agreed with a simple nod and carried her to the apartment she shared with Mikoto Minagi, Natsuki was grateful.

It was the first time in a while since things had gone her way.