Sorry this just kinda jumps in….. I 'm very upset at the moment, this is just what popped in my mind…. This idea came from the episode In my time of dying Where Sam, Dean, and John are at the hospital then kinda skips ahead to where their fighting in their hotel room and Dean says Johns line. This starts out in the past, but Dean narrates into the future.

Matter of Loyalty

Back then I didn't know anything about what Sam was meant for, what our so called destiny was. But if I had known what I know now, I would have most definitely asked dad to stay, and let me die….

Dean couldn't believe his ears," You want me to what?"

" This is important Dean listen to me!" John barked," If you cannot save Sam, I want you to kill him."

How could this be possible? Why was his own father, Sammy's own father trying to kill him? Maybe that's not what their father meant, but that sure is how the hell it sounds.

" But dad I….. I can't." Dean shook his head, looking to the side.

" You have to do this for me Dean."

Dean nodded slowly, he understood perfectly what his orders were. But t-there was no way he could…. Never to his own baby brother.

I never ever, thought I would ever be faced with the question, to kill Sam, or not to kill?

Ruby, this is all her fault that bitch.

Do you understand Sam? What she's doing to you? You're a fridgin monster with a blood drinking habit. Demon blood non the less.

Sam swung wide, Dean dodging and countering with his own punch. His fist caught the side of Sam's cheek," Why don't you understand what she's doing to you?" Dean yelled.

" Shut up!" Sam yelled elbowing Dean.

Dean fell through the wall, landing hard onto his back. Sam wrapped his hands around his brothers neck," I'm stronger that you Dean!" he yelled," You can never beat me, I'm the only one that can save us now! I'm the only one that can save the world cause your too damn weak!" Sam yelled." Well boo frickin who bro! Get over your sorry self-pitying ass and just admit I'm stronger, and I'm better than you."

Sam….. do you remember that time when we were kids and you fell and scrapped your knee? I told you everything was going to be alright, and then I taught you about loyalty with our army men? I told you that no matter what, your awesome big bro was always there for you. And you said, I'm here for you too Dean, your awesome kid bro!"

Dean was starting to black out, no air, nor breath.

Sam released his grip," I don't need you to know I'm strong. I don't need you to kill Lucifer, I'll do it myself. Once its over I'll come back for you, and hopefully we can be brothers again." He stood and headed for the door.

Ruby waited patiently at the door, leaning timidly against the door frame.

" If you walk out that door….. don't you ever come back!" Dean yelled.

Sam stopped, and started to look back but changed his mind, and left without another word.

Dean rolled over onto his side, it was a matter of loyalty, and neither brother had held up their end of the promise.

Sorry….Sam…. I should've fought harder to keep my promise…

I'm sorry…..

Its short, stupid, and sucks majorly. But I was just needing to write something to get rid of all the stuff that happened during a 23 minute phone call regarding my family being retarded.

I know I'm usually the kid between me and my readers but guys don't do drugs, it really ruins peoples lives… you're better off without them.