Alex was thrilled about the prospect of having Maggie back in her life. It had been nearly 6 months since the end of their relationship. Alex had figured out quickly the horrible mistake she had made but had been too ashamed and embarrassed to reach out to Maggie in any way.
In the end, it had been Kara who had contacted Maggie to invite her to a big dinner she was having for her friends. Alex hadn't known Kara's plan to invite Maggie until Maggie had called her out of the blue asking Alex if it was OK if she came because she really missed her friends. Alex had drunk herself into numbness thinking about Maggie staying away from her friends all because of her.
Tonight, though she was excited. She had hope that this would be the first step toward a friendship with Maggie. As she left her apartment building she had a bounce in her step and a smile on her face.
Maggie clutched the bottle of wine in her hand tighter as she rounded the corner and nearly collided with J'onn as he was making his way toward Kara's apartment. He turned at her approach and graced her with a smile she could tell was genuine, she couldn't help but match it with her own.
"Good evening, detective. I'm so glad you could join us."
"I was a little nervous about accepting the invitation," she found herself admitting without really meaning to. There was just something about the man that made you want to bare your soul.
J'onn turned contemplative as he turned to face her, "Your family Maggie. There should never have been so much time pass without one of the group reaching out to you. Sometimes life just gets away from you doesn't it?"
"Yes, it does," Maggie smiled. The words meant a lot to her. And if she was being honest with herself she probably wouldn't have been receptive to anyone from the group, before now. J'onn gave her arm a friendly squeeze and they finished their walk to the door and knocked.
The door opened and a second later with a beaming Kara on the other side, "Maggie! You made it."
Maggie's heart warmed at the genuine excitement of the younger woman. She laughed when she was pulled into a bone-crushing hug, "Its good to see you," Maggie said, meaning it.
Kara gratefully took the wine and ushered her and J'onn into the warm apartment. James, Winn, and Lena were all standing in the kitchen holding drinks and laughing loudly. Alex was nowhere in sight.
"Alex is running late," Kara must have seen her searching.
Maggie was almost relieved she didn't have to see Alex quite yet. She was happy to have a little more time, and maybe a strong drink, to prepare.
She got another warm welcome from the others, including Lena much to her surprise, but was nice.
"As soon as Alex gets here we'll be ready to eat," Kara announced as she put the last of the food on the table.
Maggie watched as a slight frown covered Kara's face as she checked her phone. Which Maggie had seen her do a couple of times just since she had walked in the door, "Is something wrong?"
Kara glanced up and smiled, but it wasn't her usual smile, it didn't reach her eyes, "Alex hasn't responded to my last couple of texts."
That was very unusual, Alex always responded to Kara's texts. Maggie had gotten used to sometimes very intimate moments being interrupted by Alex stopping for a text, "How long has it been since you last heard from her?" she went directly into cop mode.
"Nearly 2 hours. She said her battery was low, so I thought her phone had just died. Now I'm not so sure."
Before Maggie could say anything more the door opened, and a bloodied Alex walked in. She had a bloodied nose and a cut on her lip and eyebrow. Her right eye was swollen and already starting to bruise. She was jacketless despite the cold weather and her shirt was stretched and ripped. Her knuckles were bloodied and there were scratches on her arms and neck.
"I'm OK," she said immediately.
The words only calmed Maggie slightly.
"Oh Rao, Alex!" Kara sped forward gently taking Alex by the shoulders and leading her to the couch, while everyone else scrambled around finding supplies to treat Alex's injuries. Maggie couldn't help herself and moved to sit beside Alex. Despite the 6 months of being apart, seeing her injured like this was too much and she needed to be closer.
Maggie knew from experience that Alex was in more pain than she was letting on, "What's hurt?"
Alex jumped like she hadn't realized that Maggie was there. She smiled slightly at Maggie, "Hey."
Maggie had missed that smile, "Hey. Tell us what's hurt, and no lying."
Alex chuckled and then grimaced, "I got kicked in the ribs a couple of times, but they're not broken."
"Who did this?" J'onn asked.
"It was just a random mugging. There was three of them, a couple punks looking to hurt somebody. I just happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time," she gratefully accepted a bag of ice handed to her putting it on her eye. "Trust me, they regretted their decision."
The ringing of several cellphones interrupted the conversation. There was a situation that required Supergirl and the DEO.
"Go ahead. I'll be fine," Alex assured Kara who was hesitant to leave.
"I'll make sure she gets home safe," Maggie heard herself saying. Alex looked at her in surprise, "If that's OK with you," Maggie added hastily.
Alex nodded.
Five minutes later Maggie and Alex were slowly walking down the street, after Alex had refused a ride, saying it would help her muscles not tense up. Maggie didn't complain, but she kept a watchful eye on her and walked where her shoulder brushed Alex's.
"It's really good to see you," Alex said after several minutes of silence.
"You too. Thank you for letting me come."
Alex frowned, "No don't thank me, I actually owe you an apology."
Maggie was confused, "An apology? For what?"
"Can we pick this up when we get to the apartment? It feels like a sit-down conversation."
Maggie wanted to say no, to tell her right now, but she could be patient, "Yeah that's fine."
Alex chuckled, "You can be patient."
Maggie laughed as well, Alex knew her too well.
"So how have you been since," Alex paused awkwardly. "Uh, how have you been?"
Maggie ignored the awkwardness, "Working mostly. I have a partner now, which is new and horrible."
"Oh yeah, I bet you fought that."
"So hard, but after everything that's been happening in the city, all cops are going to be traveling in pairs," she shrugged. "I guess it makes sense, but he's a rookie and looks like he's 12 years old. I don't even think he can grow a beard," Maggie knew she was ranting but she hadn't had anyone who listened to her the way Alex always had, "We had a routine domestic call and Jenkinson almost caused a mass panic, because he doesn't understand alien cultures. It was a real shit show."
Alex was laughing.
"It's not funny," Maggie whined even though she was laughing too. "It's been horrible."
They made more small talk until they were finally in Alex's apartment, "I'm going to get cleaned up. Help yourself to anything."
It was strange being back in their apartment. She couldn't help but think back to all the good times they had had, even the not so good ones, there hadn't been a lot. She moved around the kitchen confidently, everything still exactly as it had been and made them some sandwiches since they had never made it to eating at Kara's.
"Oh man those look good," Alex came out of the bathroom drying her hair, dressed in her pajamas.
Maggie's chest tightened, this had always been her favorite time of day when they were together. When they were winding down, fixing to veg out in front of a movie or just lounge on the couch talking and drinking wine, "I figured you would be hungry."
"You were right," Alex said around a too big bite of sandwich.
Maggie could only shake her head. Some things never change.
Alex gorged herself on her sandwich, feeling like she hadn't eaten in months. She was very aware of Maggie sitting beside her eating at a much less animalistic speed. Despite being mugged, she was still pissed off about that, but the satisfying crunch of the last guy's nose had made things a little more bearable, she had been enjoying herself. It was almost like no time had passed between the two of them. It was a little strange to have Maggie back in her apartment but also thrilling. She was determined to salvage what she could of her their friendship. She would do anything.
"So, are you going to tell me what you have to apologize for?" Maggie finally asked after they were both leaned back on the sofa, bellies full.
"Yeah," Alex sat up straighter, grimacing a little as her ribs ached. Asshole muggers. "I was selfish when I ended us. I didn't think about what I was taking away. I mean I should have been more aware of what I was doing. I should have known that you would stay away from our friends. I shouldn't have let that happen."
Maggie shrugged slightly, "Its fine."
"No, it's not," Alex shook her head. "I regret ever breaking up with you. I'm just going to say it now. It was the biggest mistake I've ever made."
Maggie's eyes widened but she didn't say anything.
Alex continued, "I think the only reason I was so sure that I wanted kids was because you made me so happy and it allowed me to think of the future, and me being the neurotic asshole I am, focused on one thing. And let it get completely blown out of proportion," she shook her head sadly. "You are one of the best things that's ever happened in my life and I just let you go," she was tearing up now. "I love you so much, and I am not under any delusions you'll ever want to be with me in a romantic sense. But I want you to know that I am going to try my hardest to earn your friendship. If you even want to be my friend," Alex took a deep breath. It was all out there now.
Maggie was silent. Seemingly going over everything that Alex had just vomited out, "You broke my heart," she started, holding up a hand when Alex started to talk. "It's just facts. I don't know if you should be taking complete responsibility for the break up though. I probably could have fought harder," she shook her head. "It just is what it is, we can't do anything about it now. But I do know that I miss you."
The relief that coursed through Alex's body was nearly overwhelming.
"I want our friendship back," Maggie had tears in her eyes.
Alex had matching ones, "You have no idea how happy that makes me feel. We'll go at your pace. I don't know want to make assumptions."
Maggie nodded and smiled, "I appreciate that. I should warn you though, I am seeing someone. We've been together a month now."
The news cut Alex deep, but she was proud of herself for not showing any reaction, "That's fine," Alex wanted to ask questions, but thought it best not to push her luck. She held out her hand to Maggie, "So friends?"
Maggie laughed, "Yes. Friends," she shook Alex's hand.
I had been two weeks since Alex had been mugged and her injuries had nearly healed completely. Her eye was still a lovely shade of green and her ribs were a little tender if she overdid it. She felt on top of the world though, having Maggie back in her life had really raised her spirits. They had gotten coffee several times and had quickly gotten back into the habit of texting throughout the day.
Most of the text seemed to consist of Maggie complaining about her accident-prone partner. While Alex found the ordeal hilarious, she knew how dangerous Maggie's job was and worried that her partner wasn't good enough to protect her like Maggie would him.
She was brought out of her thoughts by her phone chirping,
SAWYER: Janine canceled our date tonight. Interested in having dinner at my place tonight?
Any mention of Maggie's girlfriend stung a little still, but Alex was getting more used to the concept, of not playing that role in Maggie's life anymore,
DANVERS: Sounds like a plan. Want me to bring anything?
SAWYER: Just yourself, around 7.
Alex smiled, it would be a good day.
The day hadn't ended up staying good. Alex limped up to Maggie's apartment door and knocked. She had twisted her ankle while in pursuit of an alien toddler who had gotten away from one of the DEO agents while his father had been questioned.
"Hey, Danvers."
Alex's breath caught, Maggie was beautiful like always, "Hey, sorry I'm late," Alex held up a bottle of wine. "I got held up and couldn't call because my phone got smashed."
"Oh man. Are you OK?" Maggie asked as Alex limped into the apartment. She was laughing though by the time Alex had finished her story.
"It smells amazing in here by the way," Alex pointed out looking toward the kitchen. This was her first time in Maggie's new apartment and it was small but comfortable. It was a studio much like Alex's, but the bed was blocked off by a half wall and there were no stairs. It was bright and decorated in bright colors. Much different than Alex's penchant for grey tones.
"Its just some chicken carbonara," Maggie said breezily.
Alex scoffed, "Right, JUST chicken carbonara, like just anyone can cook that."
Maggie smiled slyly, no doubt remembering some of the disasters Alex had managed to make in the kitchen.
"I haven't had a home-cooked meal in months I don't think," Alex admitted.
Maggie just sighed and shook her head and quickly set the table, adding a beautiful looking salad to go with their carbonara.
Alex was only slightly embarrassed at the moan that escaped her lips at the first bite.
When she glanced over at Maggie, she had an eyebrow raised.
Alex set down her fork and wiped her mouth, "Meh, it's OK," she teased.
"No one has ever reacted to my food the way you do. When we first got together I thought it was fake, that is until I saw Kara eat and then I realized you both just really like food."
"You sell yourself short. You are a wonderful cook," Alex said with her mouth full.
They ate in silence for a while until Alex had slowed down enough to ask, "Did Janine have to work over again?"
Maggie shrugged, "That's what she said. I don't know though, I think she may be cheating on me."
Alex frowned, the thought of someone betraying Maggie like that angered her, "What makes you say that?"
"I don't know. Its just she never really had long hours before, and there's been a lot of mysterious late-night texts."
It didn't sound good.
"What are you going to do about it?" Alex asked trying to be supportive when all she wanted to do was hunt down Janine and kick her ass. She didn't want Maggie to be hurt again.
"I'm going to confront her about it," Maggie nodded to herself. "The next time I see her," she sighed. "I don't want to talk about it. You want to watch a movie, or do you need to leave."
"Nope, the night's mine. Let's watching something violent."
They ended up watching Bloodsport, which Maggie had been surprised to find out was Alex's favorite movie. She had caught Alex several times sitting on the couch eating popcorn watching the movie while they were together. Maggie had even found herself watching it several times when she was bored.
Tonight though, Alex had fallen asleep in the middle of the movie and had slowly fallen over until her head was now laying on Maggie's shoulder. It was a familiar position that she often found herself in during their time together. She could smell Alex's shampoo. She put her cheek on the top of Alex's head just enjoying having her this close to her.
When the movie was just ending, Alex jerked away setting up straight, she looked around confusedly wiping at the drool on her lip, "I am so sorry."
"It's OK. You must have been tired, I've never seen you fall asleep during Bloodsport."
Alex chuckled, "Yeah. I'm going to head home," she stood and stretched.
Maggie stood and without really thinking about it pulled Alex into a hug.
Alex tensed for a second before returning the hug, her face pressed against Maggie's neck.
Maggie pulled away, and without saying anything Alex smiled and gathered her jacket and left.
Maggie dropped on the sofa with a sigh. She couldn't really say where the hug had come from, she had just really needed it. As much as Alex had hurt her she couldn't deny that the invisible string that had always pulled her toward Alex was still there and she knew she was starting to want more than just a platonic friendship.
When the idea of Janine cheating on her had popped into her head, she hadn't really been upset. Janine had been fun and incredibly sexy, but there wasn't anything deep about their relationship. It was mostly just a surface attraction. Two people who happened to enjoy each other's company.
What she had shared with Alex was special.
It was another two days before Maggie and Janine had gotten together again, and as they were eating dessert, Janine had said that she was going out of town for a couple of days. Maggie had jumped at the opportunity, "Are you cheating on me?" she asked bluntly.
Janine seemed shocked at the question.
"Just tell me," Maggie prompted.
Janine sighed, "Yes. I didn't mean for it to happen."
"Its fine," Maggie held up her hand to stop the excuses. "You don't have to explain yourself. I just wish you had told me sooner."
Janine looked suspicious, "That's it?"
Maggie took a bite of her tiramisu, "Yep. I mean I'm not happy, but it is what it is," she shrugged. They finished their desserts and split the bills and then went their own ways.
Even though Maggie hadn't been surprised and wasn't particularly upset over the turn of events it still felt like a failure. She knew it was a dangerous feeling to have, but she just wanted to talk to Alex, so almost without her own input she found herself making her way toward Alex's apartment.
Her knock was met with a muffled "It's open."
When she walked in Alex was laying on the couch fully clothed looking like she may have just woken up from an impromptu nap, "Hey," she greeted Maggie with actual happiness.
"Hey, I didn't wake you, did I?" Maggie moved to sit where Alex had just moved her feet from.
"No, I've been awake for a couple of minutes, just laying here thinking about things," she smiled and looked Maggie over. "What's wrong? You look upset."
"I was right about Janine," Maggie shrugged.
"I'm sorry," Alex moved closer and took her hand.
"I'm mostly OK. I just feel like I failed again."
"I understand that," Alex squeezed her hand.
Maggie looked down at her darker skin against Alex's. She had always enjoyed the way their hands looked joined. She liked the feeling of Alex's callouses. Seeing the small scars that were scattered over her knuckles.
"It's funny when I first thought that Janine was cheating, I kept thinking that you would never have done that to me."
"No, I just hurt you for a ridiculous reason," Alex smiled sadly.
"Stop," Maggie frowned. "You were doing what you thought you had to do to be happy. I don't want children and you do."
Alex started to say something but caught herself. Maggie wanted to push but decided not to.
They were sitting back on the couch together side by side, still holding hands, "I'm sorry I just showed up. I just needed to see you."
"You never need an excuse to come over."
"Why aren't you with anyone?" Maggie heard herself ask, apparently having no control over her impulses tonight.
"I haven't really been interested in anyone. I've had a couple of, one-night stands, I guess you could call them, but no one has really held my attention."
Maggie sighed, "I'm tired. I'm going to head home."
After a quick goodbye, Maggie hurried out of the apartment building. Her mind full of conflicting thoughts.
Maggie stayed away from Alex for several days, using the time to organize her thoughts and feelings. She had thought she would be able to just stay friends, with no desire to be more. She was obviously stupid because that's the last thing she wanted. If Alex was going to be in her life it was going to be all the way. But she knew it wasn't that simple. Alex wanted kids. And Maggie really didn't.
Maggie was at a coffee shop and nearly dropped her coffee when Alex spoke from behind her she turned quickly, "Hey, Danvers. What are you doing in this part of town?"
"I had a crime scene close to here. Thought I would get some caffeine before heading back."
Alex looked good, though she did seem tired, "Here," she handed Alex her own coffee. "It's the strongest thing on the menu. Trust me, it'll perk you right up."
Alex took the large cup with a grateful smile, "What have you been up to? I haven't heard from you," Alex asked after taking a big drink, wincing at the heat.
"Just trying to wrap my mind around some things. Actually," Maggie made a decision right then. "Do you want to have dinner with me Friday night?"
Alex smiled, "Sure."
Alex was nervous as she knocked on Maggie's door. She had thought the worst when Maggie had ignored her for several days, so the invitation to dinner had been a pleasant surprise, she just didn't know what to expect.
Maggie opened the door with a smile, which was a good sign, "Hey," she sounded happy too.
Alex stopped short inside the door, there were candles lit throughout the small space and soft music played in the background. Maggie had never been one for big displays of romance before, "What's going on?"
"Just sit down at the table," Maggie said while taking Alex's jacket.
When they were seated, Maggie grabbed Alex's hand, "I'm just going to go for it OK."
Alex had no idea what she was talking about but nodded.
"I still don't want kids. And it scares me that you'll just...,"
"If this is going where I think it is, I choose you," Alex interrupted.
"Uh…What?"
"I had the opportunity to babysit Ruby a couple of times, and while I enjoyed myself, I realized that the happiness I had with you far surpasses the happiness a child will ever bring me. I have been completely miserable since you left. So, if you are saying what I think you are, I choose you."
"OK, give me a minute to catch up here. I had a big speech and everything," Maggie laughed.
"Anyway, Kara will probably have like 5 kids, so I'll just be the cool aunt," Alex joked trying to lighten the mood a little.
Maggie laughed harder, "That's so true," she looked at Alex with tears in her eyes. "You choose me?"
"I choose you," Alex pulled Maggie to her slowly giving her time to pull back, until finally, their lips met. This is where she belonged.
Maggie pulled back slowly, "I've missed that so much."
Alex nodded, "I'm sorry I took that time away from us."
Maggie shook her head, caressing Alex's cheek, "We've both hurt too much already. We're just going to move forward now. Together."
Alex smiled so big her cheeks hurt, "I love you so much. I am going to work so hard to deserve this."
"I love you," Maggie pulled her into another kiss.