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CHAPTER 1:
I followed her out into the parking lot unsure of what I was going to say to her. "Jade!" I called out to her. She didn't turn back or even show any sign of hearing my voice. "Jade wait!" I pleaded. She stopped and turned around to face me, her gaze hard and full of conviction burning right through me. Her brows furrowed, lips a thin line. Her anger sending chills down my back. She doesn't speak just stares at me silently urging me to speak before she changed her mind. The seconds pass by slowly and it's silent. An eyebrow shoots up, her arms cross her chest and her foot starts to tap as she grows more and more impatient. I open my mouth to speak but she turns and is walking away from me again. All the courage I had managed to muster to try and get out my next sentence vanishing as she continued to stride away. "I'm sorry. I- I didn't mean to." I managed to say, my voice just above a whisper. She turns on her heels glaring at me, her ice cold stare meeting my own apologetic gaze boring a hole through me, making my heart feel heavy, causing a sadness, and regret to course through my veins as she closes the distance between us with her long powerful strides. "You didn't mean to?" a strangled, harsh and callous laugh escapes her throat. "You didn't mean to?" she says a little louder voice laced with so much anger and hatred that I flinch at her words. "There's a lot of things I don't MEAN to do Tori, but this-", she says gesturing around her. "This isn't something you don't MEAN to do. This isn't the kind of thing that happens accidentally. You KNEW what you were doing…you just didn't care." She says taking a step towards me causing me to take one step back, her finger pointing at me eyes hard and unforgiving. "You knew." She says voice softening before turning around and walking off in the other direction bypassing her car, not once stopping to look back and not once a hesitation in her steps. She just kept walking leaving me in the same spot in the parking lot feeling sadness and regret as she stepped onto the sidewalk and turned the corner. My mind screamed for me to move, to go talk to her, to try to explain myself but my body betrayed me my feet staying rooted to the ground not moving against my commands as the distance between us grew. I stood paralyzed staring at the corner, the space she just occupied that's not now left empty. I blinked and forced my limbs to comply and move from their place. I kept walking not bothering to try and drive in my current emotional state. I walked right passed both my car and Jade's in the direction I saw her go in although she was long gone by now. My eyes vacant, my heart feeling empty, my mind left blank. I moved without knowing where I was going, turned corners and walked down different streets seeing everything without seeing anything at al. I just walked for what seemed like hours in the darkness with only the moon, streetlights and stars as my guide. I didn't know where I was going or why but when I stopped I had somehow ended up in my large, spacious apartment and in my bed, not bothering to change. I lay there silent in the darkness and stared at the ceiling as tears seemed to make their way down my cheeks on their own accord before sleep finally took me and I didn't have to think or feel. My sadness and regret washed away with peaceful dreams and bliss, and for the time being I was allowed to forget and leave my mistakes behind. I didn't have to watch her walk away from me angry and upset replaying the scene over and over in my mind knowing what I did was wrong. I didn't have to feel the guilt or conviction, for now, all I had to do was dream.
CHAPTER 2:
I wanted to hate her, to make her feel my pain, to have her feel how much she hurt me. I walked away leaving her to stand there alone and watch me as I left. Not once did I stop and look back, or hesitate as I walked away not wanting to see her pain, because I knew it was there. I didn't want to give in and tell her it was okay, I didn't want to forgive her, I wasn't ready for that. I knew if I stopped and turned around I'd do just that, I'd go back to her, the one person who managed to hurt me the most although she never intended or tried to. She only seemed to want to please me and could never be satisfied until she had managed to put a smile on my face, if she caused me to so much as flinch it would disappoint her, make her usually bright and personality die down until she could make everything right again. I didn't know if I wanted that right now…I didn't know if I wanted her, and I knew I wasn't ready to go back to her just yet so I kept walking. By the time I reached the corner of the parking lot tear had already begun to make their way down my face and by the time I reached the end of the block I had produced enough tears to stop a drought in Texas. My vision blurred with tears arms wrapped around each other as my body wracked itself with each sob. I walked oblivious to the world around me then stopped as I reached a restaurant. I walked in tears still streaming down my face and sat myself in a booth by the window in the dimly lit restaurant waiting for someone to come and take my order. When someone finally came over my tear had seemed to manage to halt momentarily just long enough for me to order a coffer and a salad. The waiter returned a few moments later with my coffee and salad in hand placing them on my table. I mumbled my thanks without lifting my head to look at him. As they walked away I felt one tear escape and stream down my face followed by a second. My throat burned trying to keep my tears from shedding but to no avail the tears streamed down my cheeks one by one as I ate my salad and sipped on my coffee. I looked p and out the window to see the one person I was trying to escape walk right by my window seeming unaware of my presence or anything for the matter, pain and sorrow apparent through her features. She seemed heartbroken and looked pensive yet oblivious to the world as if she were trying not feel, trying to ignore it and make the pain go away. It hurt to see her so sad and pained the exact opposite of her usual bright personality but I knew the reason behind the frown. She hurt because I hurt, every bit of pain I felt seemed to go right to her. I finished my coffee and paid my bill still deep in thought. I had wanted her to feel my pain so I didn't understand why her sadness caused me so much pain. She's the one who caused it all in the first place, but it didn't look right to see such sorrow on her face, a face that should only ever be occupied by happiness and a smile. She only tried to keep my happy and now we were both hurt. Me because she had hurt me and her…because she knows she hurt me, because she made a mistake and her apology no matter how sincere wasn't enough to make things right. I snapped out of my thoughts at the sound of a car horn blaring causing me to jump back and out of the way of traffic. MY mind back in oblivion moments later as I continued to aimlessly walk until I managed to stumble into my rather large apartment and bedroom and into my bed and dreamed, letting sleep consume me so I could forget, forget that she, Victoria Vega, could ever cause me so much pain.