Summary-
It was no lie that Sam and Dean didn't get to experience 'normal' things during their childhood.
But Dean's attempt to bring some normality into their lives and just have a simple family dinner they'd never been able to experience doesn't exactly go to plan.
A/N
- Set sometime during season eight. No spoilers.
Just a little idea that had popped into my head.
Reviews would be cherished!
Swearing, some sexist remarks but nothing too extreme.
Hope you enjoy!
-Lexii xo
The Family Dinner They Never Had
'Dean…' Sam asked quizzically, eying the mountains of food spread out over the table. 'What the hell is going on?'
'What's the matter Sammy?' Dean replied, a cocky grin cast on his face.
'Where did all this food come from?!'
'I cooked it.' Dean shrugged, carving into the steaming roast.
'Since when do you cook?!' Sam asked bewildered, his forehead creased in confusion.
'Dude, I cook!'
'Yeah, tinned food that involves placing it in a bowl and microwaving it.' Sam shot back, an unruly amount of truth and sarcasm present in his voice.
Dean's shoulders hunched forward as he continued to carve into the roast. 'Fine. Since I've been watching the FoodNetwork okay?'
Sam didn't even bother to stifle the laugh from escaping his mouth at his brother's confession. 'The FoodNetwork? Seriously Dean?!' he choked out before laughing some more.
'Can it Sam.' Dean said warningly, pointing the carving knife towards his younger brother. 'You. Shuttup. Sit down and eat.' He said while moving the knife from Sam and pointing it at the available chair opposite from him.
'Trust your cooking? I think I'll pass.' Refused Sam, walking over to the fridge and burying his head inside it, looking for something edible to eat.
'Damn it Sam!' Dean growled, slamming his fist down onto the table, the sudden sound causing Sam's body to jerk unexpectedly. 'Sit the hell down and eat!'
Sam's eyes narrowed at his older brother, suspicious of the sudden outburst, but complied to his brother's command and stiffly sat into the available seat.
'You alright man?' Sam asked softly, his brown eyes eyeing his brother's appearance cautiously, observing him.
The tension from Dean's body subsided and he unclenched his fist, the handle from the knife imprinting the flesh of his palm bright red. 'Yeah…' Dean replied, keeping his gaze adverted from his younger sibling.
Silence and tension lingered in the room, both brothers remained unmoving and cautious.
'Eat.' Stated Dean, breaking the silence as if nothing had happened.
Silently Sam obliged, placing the different types of food onto his plate, trying not to get distracted by the demandingness of his mind trying to figure out the cause of sudden hostile behaviour of his older brother.
To say this behaviour was completely out of character for Dean would be an understatement. Sam couldn't think of a time in either their childhood and adulthood where Dean cooked them a proper mean from anything other than a can, box or local restaurant just down the street. Add in the demandingness for Sam to sit and eat with Dean and it didn't take a genius to know that something was off about his burger loving brother.
Sam threw down his fork in mid-air, sending a clattering noise to echo through the underground bunker. 'What the hell is this Dean?' Sam demanded, his eyes raging in determination and fortitude to know the reasoning behind Dean's sudden change of behaviour.
'It's food Sam!' Dean shot back, his voice cracked in anger.
'Bullshit.' Sam spat back in disbelief.
'Yeah it's food. You know, the basic necessity you need to do three or more times a day in order to survive?' Dean sarcastically remarked, roughly forcing another mouthful of the roast beef into his mouth, his face burning in anger.
'Ever since we've moved into the bunker you haven't been acting like yourself!' Sam criticized, standing up and throwing his arms out either side to emphasis his point. 'At first it was making sure everything was in its place, things were clean and where they should be. Now this?! I know you Dean, and I'm sorry but I find it hard to believe that you're the brother I've practically spent my whole life living with. Dean, you never gave a damn about how messy things were in whatever place we were stuck living in, and now you're cooking?'
'God damn it Sam!' Dean grunted, banging his clenched fist on the table once more. Throwing his chair out from underneath him, he stood up, applying his weight on his clenched fist as his body slightly trembled. 'Can't you just shut the hell up and sit down and eat?!'
'No! Not until you tell me what the hell is going on with you!' Sam demanded, his voice growing in anger.
'Fine!' Dean bellowed, using both his arms to throw off the plates and bowls off the table, sending food flying in all directions, keeping the large carving knife in his hand, the force so strong his knuckles had formed a pale shade of white.
'What the hell man!' Sam yelled in surprise, throwing his arms infront of him to protect himself from the materials being thrown in his direction.
'You want to know why I'm being such a goddamn girl?! Cooking and cleaning?' Dean rhetorically asked, his chest rising and expanding as anger pulsed through his veins as his emerald green eyes burned into Sam's browns.
'Because this is the first freaking place since the night Mum died that I can finally call home! Knowing that in a week I wouldn't have have to pack up all my shit and leave!'
'Dean…Dean please. Put the knife down.' Sam cautioned, his eyes growing wide as he watched the knife slice through the air at Dean's exaggerated hand movements.
He took in a deep breath to maintain his convulsing body, the realisation that he had been holding the knife only just settling in. Dropping the knife onto the table he adverted his gaze from a now speechless, yet relieved Sam, not wanting Sam to see the unshed tears that were beginning to form.
'Every Sunday night ever since I could remember we used to sit around the table as a family, Mum would cook a roast and we'd talk and laugh and do what any normal families would do. And you never got to experience that…' He trailed off, the anger from his voice now replaced with a softer, gentler tone.
'You've never gotten to experience any kind of normal when you're around me. So I thought, well, we finally have a home, why the hell not get a break from all this supernatural crap and have a goddamn family meal? Why not be normal for one freaking night. ' he laughed a humourless laugh to himself at the absurdity behind it.
Blinking away the tears he looked back up at his younger brother, his face an unreadable mask as he continued on, his voice mutual with no indication of emotions in his tone. 'So yes, I began watching the FoodNetwork in my spear time. Yes I practised cooking meals when you were gone and almost burnt the freaking place down more than once. Yes, I spent over two hours of my time to make this stupid home cooked meal for us so we can eat the food we should have been eating when we were kids, so we could experience some normality in our life. Sue me.' Dean hissed as he turned around and retrieved the Impala's keys before hurriedly placing on his jacket and walking towards the stairs.
'Dean!' Sam called out in a pathetic attempt to stop him, retorting out of his dazed like state as his mind tried to process the words that flowed out of his older brother's mouth, reflecting his deepest desires and feelings. An occurrence Sam rarely got to experience when Dean just tried to shut everyone out and acted like he was on autopilot; bottling all the pain and honest up, acting as if he was fine with everyone and everything.
'Leave me alone Sam.' Dean harshly shot back as he slammed the door behind him, leaving a guilt ridden Sam behind.
-x-
Dean sat hunched over the bar, beer in hand. He rolled the glass in his hand, watching the foam to froth up and rise before deflating.
He'd been staring at the same glass bottle for over two hours now, barely a quarter of the bottle had been drunk and he had shot down at least a dozen girls, and to his dismay one overly keen guy who had been observing him for a majority of the night had noticed, and just assumed Dean played for the same team.
He didn't even intend to end up at the local bar, yet somehow through his little emotional episode he had found himself parked in front of the rustic building, so he just decided to go with it.
But tonight the desire for drinks and women he'd usually crave for did not present themselves tonight, instead he found himself in the exact same spot he had been sitting at, brooding.
The usual cursing at himself for once again ruining what was supposed to be something he and Sammy had missed out on growing up was there; alongside the guilt of yelling at Sam like that. He had seen something in his younger brother's eyes that he wished he never made his younger brother feel; fear.
Naked, raw fear had been present in his younger brother's eyes. Fear of the possibilities and scenarios that could have happened if Dean were to accidently let go, or if the anger and pain he had been bottling up since even before he had escaped Purgatory; since he had escaped hell; escaped him.
He never wanted Sam to see that side of him, that monster that lived deep within, and he almost allowed that side of him to come forward, over a stupid family dinner.
'Hey, it's closing time.' The voice belonging to the bartender interrupted his thoughts. Dean blinked a few times, suddenly noticing the silence that had overtaken the bar. Last time he'd checked the bar was buzzing with life.
'Oh…' Dean muttered, jumping down from the barstool and putting back on his jacket. 'Thanks for the beer.' He said, throwing down a few loose notes he had dug out from his pocket, before heading out to the Impala.
-x-
He had been sitting in the Impala for lord knows how long, daring himself to go in. Guilt and shame still gnawed at him and he knew he wasn't ready to face Sam.
Maybe in the morning but not now.
He took short, elongated strides, guilt and disgrace fighting a merciless battle in the pit of his stomach as he entered the bunker, savouring the wave of relief that washed over him when the inadmissible sound of Sam's snores entered his ears.
The tension in his body subsided, the nauseating feeling in his stomach lessening. He placed the keys to the Impala down as he began walking towards his room, sighing as fatigue washed over him.
'Dean?'
Dean froze silently cursing when the reminder that Sam was a light sleeper entered his mind.
'Hey Sammy.' Dean called out, still mentally kicking himself. He figured he might as well apologise now than wait till morning. 'Where are ya?'
'Table!' Sam called back.
Swallowing slightly Dean followed his younger brother's voice and found Sam standing next to the table, all reminders of Dean's previous backlash non-existent, the floors now spotless as all the evidence of food had been cleaned off them.
But it was not that which made Dean's head tilt to the side in confusion. It was not the nervous expression plastered on his brother's face that made Dean freeze in his place. It was the mountains of food, steaming hot that were placed on the table that caused goosebumps to wash over Dean.
'What the hell…' he muttered incoherently.
'Look, Dean. I was a dick. I was more than a dick; I was the kings of dicks. You tried to do something nice and I just acted like a jerk. And I never met for you to get that angry. I should have realised years ago that our childhood wasn't just sucky for me, but it probably was even more for you. At least you tried to give me something remotely normal, something you should have been able to experience as well. It's no lie you grew up too fast, and I'm sorry I didn't realise how these little things mean to you man.'
'Sam? You don't have to apolo-'
'You. Shuttup. Sit down and eat.' Sam taunted, repeating Dean's words from earlier.
A smile spread on Dean's face and he let out a small chuckle before walking over to his allocated seat.
'Oh yeah, one more thing.' Sam began, leaning closer to Dean, seriousness plastered onto his face.
'I've never watched The FoodNetwork, so I'm no kitchen bitch like you.' He smiled, nudging his head towards the singed, blackened meat. Laughing as he easily dodged the bread roll thrown by Dean.
'Shuttup and eat your food.' Dean growled, contrasting the amused expression on his face.
'Jerk.'
'Bitch.'
'Ahh Family.' They both sighed melodramatically.