In the beginning when Toru Iwatani created the videogame, the maze was a formless void and darkness covered the screen. Then Iwatani said "Let there be light," and there was a backlight. And Iwatani saw that the light was good; and Iwatani separated the light from the darkness. Iwatani called the light On and the darkness he called Off. And then there was On and Off, the first game.
And Iwatani said, "Let there be walls in the midst, to separate the passages from each other." So Iwatani coded the walls and separated the void into corridors. And it was so. Iwatani called the passages a Maze. And there was On and Off, the second game.
And Iwatani said, "Let the maze put forth vegetation: dots of every shade of taxi cab yellow known to man, and fruit of many bonus points." And Iwatani saw that it was good. And there was On and Off, the third game.
And Iwatani said, "Let there be start and game over, to separate the one from the off." And it was so. And there was On and Off, the fourth game.
And Iwatani said, "Let the maze bring forth ghosts of every color: yellow and pink and red and periwinkle. And it was so. Iwatani coded the enemies of the maze of every color, red, periwinkle, yellow, and pink. And Iwatani saw that it was good. Iwatani blessed them, saying, "Be fruitful and multiply and fill the maze." And there was On and Off, the fifth game.
And Iwatani said, "Let us make packind in pizza's image, according to pizza's likeness and let them have dominion over all the ghost of red, the ghost of yellow, the ghost of periwinkle, and the ghost of pink and over all other enemies of the maze.
So Iwatani created packind in pizza's
image,
in the image of pizza he created it.
Iwatani blessed the pacman, and Iwatani said to it, "Be fruitful and speedy and finish the maze and subdue it; and have dominion over the ghost of red, the ghost of yellow, the ghost of periwinkle, and the ghost of pink, and over everything that moves in the maze."
Iwatani took the pacman and put him in the bonus level to clean it and keep it. And Iwatani commanded the pacman, "You may freely eat of the dot and fruit of the garden, but the fruit of the knowledge cheat codes you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat it of it, you shall lose."
Then Iwatani said, "It is not good that the pacman should be alone; I will make him a helper as his partner." So Iwatani caused a deep brownout to fall on the pacman, and he lay dormant; then Iwatani took one of his lines of code and closed up its place with backspace. And the line Iwatani had taken from the pacman he coded into an mrs.pacman and brought her into the maze. Then the pacman said,
"This is at last is code of my code
and mod of my mod
this one shall be called mrs.pacman
for out of the pacman this one was taken."
And the pacman and mrs.pacman were both naked, and were not ashamed.
Thus the maze was finished, and all their levels. And on the seventh game Iwatani finished the coding he had done, and he paused on the seventh day from all the coding he had done. So Iwatani blessed the Pause and hallowed it, because on it Iwatani rested from all the coding he had done in the game.
Now the green ghost was more crafty than any other ghost Iwatani had coded. He said to the mrs.pacman, "Did Iwatani say, 'You shall not eat of the dots or the fruits in the maze'?" The mrs.pacman said to the green ghost, "We may eat of the dots and the fruits in the maze, but Iwatani said, 'You shall not eat the fruit of the knowledge of cheat codes, not shall you touch it, for you shall lose.'" But the green ghost said to the mrs. pacman, "You shall not lose, for Iwatani knows that when you eat of the fruit, your eyes will be opened and you will be like Iwatani, able to move freely between levels at your choosing."
So when the mrs.pacman saw the fruit, and that it was a delight to the eyes, she took it and ate; she also gave some to the pacman, who was with her and he ate. Then the eyes of both were opened and they knew they were naked, and mrs.pacman created for herself a bow to cover herself.
They saw Iwatani approaching and hid themselves among the walls. But Iwatani called to the pacman and said to him, "Where are you?" He said, "I was you in the level, and I was afraid, because I was naked, and I hid myself." He said, "Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten the fruit which I commanded you not to eat?" The pacman said, "The mrs.pacman, whom you gave to be with me, she gave me the fruit and I ate." Then Iwatani said to the mrs.pacman, "What is this you have done?" The mrs.pacman said, "The green ghost tricked me, and I ate." Iwatani said to the green ghost,
"Because you have done this,
cursed are you among ghosts;
you will be regaled to a forgotten idea.
And live in deletion forever.
To the mrs.pacman he said,
"I will give you your own game,
to be created by a group of
college students.
You will be hailed by fans as
the better game,
but will never achieve the notoriety
of the pacman."
To the pacman he said,
"You sequels will vary in quality,
and you will be forced to make
the jump to three dimensions,
loosing all your original appeal.
To the both he said,
"Because you have listened to the
voice of the green ghost,
and have eaten of the fruit.
About which I have commanded you.
'You shall not eat of it."
Cursed are you with vunerablility.
Ghosts can eat you at will,
And only the fruit of which you were
forbidden will allow you to eat ghosts."
The pacman named his wife Mrs. Pacman, for she was the mother of all videogame heroes. And Iwatani gave them separate games.