Disclaimer: JE owns them. I do not. Songfic based on "Never Alone" by Jim Brickman and Lady Antebellum. Warning for lemony goodness.
~oooOOOooo~
Baby, You're Never Alone
~oOo~
Chapter 1
Stephanie's POV
I set the box of donuts down on the Connie's desk and threw myself down on the couch.
"What's up with you?" Connie asked, opening the box.
"Yeah, white girl, you look crazy," Lula mumbled around the donut in her mouth.
"It's barely ten o'clock, and I've already fielded three calls from my mother." I sighed. "She wants me to babysit the girls for Val this weekend. Of course, she got in her normal digs about me, my job, and my lack of marriage potentials."
Joe and I had broken up a month ago. We were still friendly, and I'd been happy to hear that he was dating a nurse from the pediatric ward at the hospital. Unfortunately, my mother never hesitated to let me know that when I'd lost Joe, I'd lost my last chance at settling down and becoming a 'Burg wife. As if that was remotely what I wanted...
"Ah, Steph, you know she loves you. She just wants you to be happy."
"No, Connie, if she just wanted me to be happy, she'd be telling me to pursue a relationship with Ran—"
I felt a familiar tingle on the back of my neck. My mouth closed quickly at the same time that Connie and Lula's mouths opened in awe.
"Ladies. Babe," Ranger said as he stood beside the couch. "You were saying?"
I looked up to see an amused expression on his face. "Uh, nothing. Really."
One corner of his mouth tilted up slightly, and I knew I was once again living up to my job as entertainment. "Stick around. I need to talk to you after I see Vinnie."
I nodded, waiting until he was inside Vinnie's office before letting out a breath. "Got any files for me, Connie?"
She shuffled through a stack and handed me a few. "Can you give RangeMan's to Ranger too?" She handed me another stack when I nodded. "Thanks. You don't have any that need to be taken care of immediately, so whenever."
"So what's up wit' you and Batman?" Lula asked, looking at Vinnie's closed door.
I shrugged. "Nothing," I said sadly.
"Girl, you and the cop been done for a month! What are you waiting for?"
"If he wanted me, he'd have said something by now. We'll see, I guess."
We heard a loud bang from inside Vinnie's office, and then Ranger stomped out to the main room, blank face firmly intact. "Bug under the edge of your desk, Connie." He looked over at me, and his blank face slipped a bit. "Babe," he said, holding his hand out for mine.
I reached out and let him pull me to my feet. "Uh, bye," I said to the girls as Ranger began pulling me toward the door. "Lula, I'll call you about picking up some of these."
They watched us walk out, their faces a good imitation of fish with their lips pursed in surprise. Ranger took the files, flipped through to find the ones for RangeMan, and then threw them into the Cayenne. He tossed the rest into my car before he pulled me into the alley.
I started to open my mouth to say something, when he turned me suddenly, my back pressed between the wall and his body. His hands came up beside my head, and with his legs on either side of mine, he effectively blocked me in so I was unable to move.
He lowered his head and barely brushed his lips against mine once, twice, before he began kissing me in earnest. One hand moved behind my head to cushion me against the wall, and one leg moved between my legs. The hard muscle of his thigh pressed upwards against me, forcing the seam of my jeans to rub against my suddenly-alive lower body.
I whimpered and ran my hands up his chest. My left hand grabbed onto his shirt, making sure he wasn't going to pull away, and my right moved to the back of his neck and tangled in his hair. I was a few short seconds from exploding right there in public when he moved away slightly, his breathing as ragged as mine.
"Babe, can I come over tonight if I bring dinner? Need to talk."
I nodded. "No twigs and berries," I said as forcefully as my shaky breath would let me. "Is everything okay?"
After hesitating, he nodded. "I'll tell you more tonight, but I have to go tomorrow. Probably won't be back for a few months."
I bit my lip and sighed. "I wondered when it would happen again. Been a while since you've been in the wind," I told him.
"We'll talk more tonight. Call the office if you need help with those skips." He leaned down for one more quick kiss before he pulled completely away from me. After he took a few steps, he stopped and turned back around to look at me. "Oh, and Babe... Don't ever think I don't want you."
Before I could say a word, he was gone.
I waited in the alley until I felt like I had myself under control. Inside, I was still shaking—not only from the near-orgasm, but from the revelation that he was leaving the next day. Finally, I stumbled out to my car and decided to just go home, rather than go after any skips. There was no way I was going to be able to concentrate enough to get the job done today.
Once home, I flung myself down on the bed and cried. I always hated it when Ranger went on a mission. I always worried that he wouldn't come home. It had become even worse after he'd been shot and I'd realized I was in love with him.
I fell asleep crying, and the next thing I knew, I woke up and it was past lunchtime. I made myself a peanut butter and olive sandwich and then sat down with a paper and pen. I had some things to say to Ranger and knew the only way I was going to be able to say them would be to write them down. I chewed on the end of the pen and thought about how I wanted to phrase it. Finally, I just started writing.
~oOo~
Dear Ranger,
There are a few things I wanted to tell you, and I knew I'd never have the confidence to say them aloud before you left. First, please take care of yourself while you're away. You're the only one I would trust to keep you safe.
Second, I'm in love with you. I don't expect anything from you in return. I just needed you to know. When Scrog shot you, I felt like my world fell apart. I knew it would be either you or Joe walking into my apartment, and at the time, I wasn't sure which I'd prefer. On the one hand, I wasn't nearly as worried about Joe getting shot as I was for you. On the other hand, I knew that if anyone could handle themselves and keep us safe, it would be you. So when you walked in, I rejoiced inside, but a part of me also wanted to curl up and hide from the fear.
That night, I screamed and cried for what felt like hours and told Joe—for the first time in our relationship—that I loved him. I still do and probably always will. But I realized a long time ago that I love him because of our past and because he's a good man. I'm not in love with him. I'm in love with you.
There's a song I heard on the radio the other day that will forever stick with me in my mind. I want you to read the words and know that I mean every single one of them.
May the angels protect you
Trouble neglect you
And heaven accept you when it's time to go home
May you always have plenty
Your glass never empty
Know in your belly
You're never alone
May your tears come from laughing
You find friends worth having
With every year passing
They mean more than gold
May you win and stay humble
Smile more than grumble
And know when you stumble
You're never alone
From the moment we met almost four years ago, you've been a constant in my life. I am your friend, Ranger, and I hope you know that you've been my best friend for years. The guys are your friends, too. I hope you know how much you mean to all of us, how much your friendship means. Every day, it becomes that much more precious to me.
Never alone
Never alone
I'll be in every beat of your heart
When you face the unknown
Wherever you fly
This isn't goodbye
My love will follow you stay with you
Baby you're never alone
We may be thousands of miles apart for a while, but please remember that you are never going to be truly alone. As long as I am in your thoughts and in your heart and you're in mine, we'll be together. I'll look around at the places here that mean so much to me, the places that remind me of you, and will smile. Wherever you go, Ranger, my love will follow. You have my heart.
Well, I have to be honest
As much as I want it
I'm not gonna promise that cold winds won't blow
So when hard times have found you
And your fear surround you
Wrap my love around you
You're never alone
Never alone
Never alone
I'll be in every beat of your heart
When you face the unknown
Wherever you fly
This isn't goodbye
My love will follow you stay with you
Baby you're never alone
I know you'll face horror and destruction while you're gone. Life will certainly not be easy. You'll be scared and will wish you were anywhere but where you are at the time. When you feel that way, remember me. Think of me and feel me wrapping my arms around you, my love wrapping around you and protecting you.
May the angels protect you
Trouble neglect you
And heaven accept you when it's time to go home
So when hard times have found you
And your fear surround you
Wrap my love around you
You're never alone
Never alone
Never alone
I'll be in every beat of your heart
When you face the unknown
Wherever you fly
This isn't goodbye
My love will follow you stay with you
Baby you're never alone
My love will follow you stay with you
Baby you're never alone
I'll pray every day for your safe return. My prayers will send angels to keep you safe until you come back to me. I'll think of you every day and every night. You'll be with me every minute you're gone. I'll dream of you without fail, just as I always do. You'll be with me every moment until you come home to me, regardless of how you feel about me. As long as you come home safe and sound, that's all that matters.
I'm sorry to dump all this on you in a letter, but as I said, I was scared to say it aloud. I had to tell you, though. I didn't want to not tell you and then have something happen to you while you were gone, because I would regret not having the chance to tell you how I feel. I love you. Sometimes it feels like I've loved you forever, and it never stops feeling like I won't be able to love you long enough.
I've made many mistakes in love. I've finally realized that a woman's got to love a bad man once or twice in her life to appreciate the good one. You, Ranger, are a good man. I'll never take you for granted, and I'll always be here for you, however you'll have me.
I hope that while you're gone, you'll be able to feel me here, praying for you and counting down the minutes until you return. I love you, Ricardo Carlos Manoso. Come home to me.
Love,
Stephanie
~oOo~
I folded the letter carefully and put it in an envelope. After sealing it, I wrote on the front: Open on the plane after leaving Trenton. I didn't want Ranger to accidentally see it, so I walked into the bedroom and stuck it deep in a dresser drawer. Hopefully I'd have a chance to sneak it into his bag or something before he left my apartment.
I had about three hours before I figured Ranger would show up. I curled up on the couch to watch some mindless TV, hoping to take my mind off what was coming. When he showed up two hours later, I realized he might have been as anxious as I was for him to get to my apartment.
"Babe," he said quietly, walking in with a Pino's pizza and salad in one hand and his duffle bag in the other.
"Mmm, pizza!" My stomach chose that moment to remind me I hadn't had much to eat for lunch.
"C'mon, Babe, let's feed the beast," Ranger chuckled. He handed me the pizza and set his bag on the floor beside the couch. "Want a beer?"
I nodded, my mouth already full of pizza, which prevented me from speaking. He laughed again and went into the kitchen. When he came back to the couch, he sat down beside me and set a beer and paper towels on the table.
"How was your day?" I asked between bites.
"Okay. I talked to Tank and the guys about being gone. Tank's in charge, so if you need anything, call RangeMan. Anything, Stephanie. Promise me." His voice was low and husky with some raw emotion.
I nodded. "I promise." After pausing for another bite, I spoke again. "Can you tell me anything?"
He looked at me for a long minute, and I'd begun to think he wasn't going to answer at all, when he finally said, "I'm going to Colombia."
I gulped. Crap! There are a lot of drugs and bad guys in Colombia! "Uh, oh, okay. What are yo—"
He shook his head, interrupting me. "I can't tell you, Steph, I'm sorry."
Mental head slap...
"Yeah. Yeah, sorry. I wasn't thinking. Thank you for telling me that much."
He nodded once.
"Do you have any idea how long?" I asked quietly.
The rest of my pizza sat on a paper towel, untouched. Suddenly, I wasn't feeling all that hungry.
"Not sure, Babe. Could be a few months, could be a year. I won't be able to check in very often, but I'll try to get messages to you through Tank when I can."
After a bit, I tried to take some of the weight of the conversation away. I asked, "Can you bring me home some good coffee?"
Ranger chuckled and pulled me into a hug. "You never disappoint, Babe."
We finished the pizza and curled up together on the couch to watch a movie.
Once the movie was finished, I looked up into his eyes. "Are you staying?"
He was quiet for a second and then nodded. "I can if you want."
"I want."
He stood up and helped me up. "Take my bag into the bedroom. I'll put away the rest of your pizza and clean up in here, and then I'll be in." He kissed me softly and then let me go to start gathering up the trash on the table.
I grabbed his bag and quickly made my way to my room. The first thing I did was get the letter out of the drawer and stick it underneath the clothes in his bag. I put the bag down on the floor at the foot of the bed, grabbed a T-shirt from the drawer, and went into the bathroom.
I took care of the necessities and stripped out of my jeans, bra, shirt, and panties. Then I pulled on the clean shirt, combed the worst of the tangles out of my hair, and walked back into the bedroom. I knew the shirt was just long enough that you couldn't tell that I wasn't wearing anything underneath.
My heart fluttered when I saw Ranger reclined on the bed. He'd taken off his shirt and was now barefoot. He looked so sexy lying there that I knew if I'd been wearing panties, they'd have been soaked. I reached up to check for drool.
"Babe," he said, giving me a full two hundred-watt smile.
"What? I can't help it that you're so damn sexy," I grumbled.
He laughed and motioned to me with his hand. "Come to bed, Babe," he said softly.
I climbed onto the bed and smiled at him. "You don't have to wear the pants, you know. You'll be more comfortable without them."
And I'll be a much happier woman!
Ranger laughed again. "Only you, Babe." He stood and shed his pants, his naked silhouette barely visible in the moonlight.
I curled my finger, motioning him back to me. He slowly climbed back into the bed, looking like a panther on the hunt for his next meal. He kept moving forward until he had me fully reclined on my back and he was hovering over me.
I ran my hands up his arms, from his wrists to his shoulders, and then across his shoulders and down his chest. He shook as I flicked his nipples with my nails on the way past. I leaned my head up, and his dark eyes watched as my lips closed around one nipple. When my teeth nipped at it sharply, he threw his head back, teeth clenched tightly together as he tried to keep control.
Wanting to be fully in control, I pushed hard on his shoulders as I sat up, which forced him to flip onto his back. He let me follow him over until I was straddling his thighs. I leaned forward and kissed him roughly, wanting—needing—to show him just how much I wanted and needed him. His hands gripped my hips tightly as he returned my kiss, my lips nearly bruising with the intensity.
As we kissed, I reached one hand between us and wrapped my fingers around his hard length. His cock pulsed beneath my hand, and I felt drops of precome oozing from the tip onto my fingers. Ranger groaned into my mouth and jerked his hips up.
I relished the power I had over his control, but I needed more, desperately. My entire body felt like it was on fire. Holding him still beneath me, I used my knees to raise myself up and then slowly lowered myself onto him until he was buried fully inside me.
"Dios, Babe!" Ranger's voice sounded strangled. "Slow down, Stephanie, or this will be over too soon."
My answering cry only spurred him on, and soon, our bodies were nearly slamming together. I felt my wetness running from where we were so intimately connected, down to my thighs and onto the tops of his. In my head, I knew this might be the last time I saw him the last time I got to feel him surrounding me so completely.
I leaned forward, still moving quickly up and down his velvety-steel cock. As I felt my orgasm rushing up through my body, I sucked the skin in between his neck and shoulder into my mouth. When the mother of all orgasms overtook me, I bit down hard. Ranger choked out my name, thrusting up hard and slamming my hips down as he followed me over into the abyss.
I was still lying on Ranger's chest with him buried inside me when he spoke, his voice full of concern. "Did I hurt you, Stephanie?"
I shook my head, not sure I could speak yet, even if I'd wanted to.
"Babe, look at me."
I turned my head to face him and saw his dark eyes peering at me, as if he could see into my soul. His hand came up to cup my face, and his thumb began wiping away the wetness on my cheek. I looked down at his shoulder and saw the dampness from tears I hadn't even realized I was shedding.
"I'm..." I shook my head to clear some of the haze. "I'm okay. Just hold me, please."
Ranger looked concerned, but brushed his lips across mine once softly before easing out of me. I whimpered as I felt the emptiness of my body begin to match the emptiness I was already feeling in my heart. He turned us in the bed until we were on our sides. My face was buried in his chest, and his arms were wrapped tightly around me as I quickly gave in to the physical and emotional exhaustion of the last twelve hours.
~oOo~
Sometime later, I was pulled out of my sleep by a soft kiss on my forehead.
"Mmm, whattimeisit?" I mumbled.
"It's four thirty, Babe. Go back to sleep. I have to go. My ride's downstairs. Stay safe, querida."
I lay there numbly, my brain barely registering his words, before I realized he had left the bedroom. When I heard the front door unlock, I flew out of the bed and to the living room, crying out his name. "Ranger!"
He stopped and turned around.
I raced into his arms, throwing myself at him.
As he held me, he murmured something in Spanish. Even though I couldn't understand what he'd said, every bit of emotion came through. Finally, he carefully lowered me to my feet, grabbed his bag from where he'd dropped it on the floor when I'd jumped into his arms, and then gave me one last look. Then he turned and walked out the door.
I fell to the floor, leaned back against the door, and drew my knees up to my chest. Wrapping my arms around them, I tucked my head in tight to my chest and sobbed.