A/N
This is my very first piece of fanfiction. It was just a dream I had. No beta so any errors, and there is probably a lot of them, are completely my own and I appologize in advance for them. Review if you'd like. Constructive critism is nice... the key word being constructive, if you're just going to be mean don't bother. This is a oneshot story, possibly a two shot. I have written her goodbye scene with Edward, if it seems people like this and review it, I might add it.
Enjoy
Note: I do not own twilight. Nor do I own the Characters. If I did you wouldn't be finding my story on here. Only Stephenie Meyer has the priveledge to claim the story and the characters.
This had been the weekend of the Cullens hunting trip, and with Victoria still on the loose it was decided between the pack and the Cullens that Bella would be staying with Jacob and Billy for the duration of their absence. Sunday night found Bella resting against couch in the Blacks living room, with a Jacob in his wolf form right next to her with his head in her lap with Bella slowly petting his head, Completely relaxed for the first time in what felt like months to her. Part of her didn't want to leave. Edward had called a few hours earlier to let her know they were back, and she could leave whenever she was ready. A few times she told herself she was going to get up and get her stuff together and head home, then she would decide to sit there for just a few minutes longer which would turn into an hour or so. Four hours passed in this fashion. She decided it was time though when she heard the thunder, wanting to get home before the storm hit.
."Alright, I'm gonna get my stuff together and i'll be out of your guy's hair in like 15 minutes." To Billy she sounded almost defeated. Yet he said nothing as she gathered her stuff. When she had everything back in her duffel she walked back to the living room. "Alright, I guess it's time for me to go... Thanks for letting me stay. I really enjoyed myself despite everything going on."
Billy noticed how sad she looked. He finally spoke up. "You know, Bella... You don't have to leave. You're more than welcome to stay, its not like you have school to worry about anymore... theres nothing really stoping you from staying here other then the Bloodsuckers." He regretted using the word after using it, it was a delicate situation, and that word probably ruined whatever chance he had to get her to stay, so he was shocked when instead of her yelling, or her turing around and leaving the soft reply of "What? Why?" came from her. AHA! He thought. He had a chance to try and make her see reason.
"Well... I wouldn't mind keeping you around... I havent eaten so good in years. And I know Jake would love for you to stay, and I think even you would love to stay. Bella... I've never seen you so relaxed, or at home. Even at Charlies. You've only been here since Friday afternoon, yet you walk around like you've lived here your whole life. And you're relaxed. Don't you see Bella... this is what you need. What's good for you. Do you ever feel this relaxed with Him?" She didn't have to ask who he meant by Him. Billy was half expecting her to argue and actually leave this time. But again she surprised him.
Bella just stood there. Thinking about this weekend, and how true it was that she immediately felt more at home, than she has since she left Pheonix. There were still a few moments where she felt slightly awkward around Charlies. She had yet to call it home to herself... to her it was Charlies house... and she had a feeling it always would. She was even more uncomfortable at the Cullen House. She always felt like she was trespassing or something... or afraid she would break one of the many valuables they had in the house. But here, she felt at home. Comfortable, Relaxed, Safe, Calm. Four things she had rarely felt these days. She was confused by that fact.
"Hm... You're right... I don't remember feeling this calm or whatever, since before I left Pheonix... Thats... odd."
"Not really... come on Bella. Don't pretend like there are no feelings between you and Jacob. Anyone with eyes and half a brain could see that there is. He is real. Edward is more of a drug. You CRAVE him... it causes you physical pain to be without him, yet not when you're with Jake. Jacob balances your addiction. He was the natural path your life would have went."
Bella stood there, her mind wizzing with everything Billy had just said. She knew he was right... everything. She knew her obsession with Edward was not normal... or even healthy, but she loved him. Whenever she was with him, her whole being buzzed. But she was never relaxed... there was not one instance with Edward where she was completely relaxed, not even when he would hold her as she slept. It was hard to fall asleep, and then her dreams always had an intensity about them. She was always waiting for something when she was with him... she knew that at any second he could kill her. Every second was a mystery. Always on edge.
Billy was also right about Jacob. She did love Jacob. She knew that if not for Edward she'd have ended up with Jacob. When they met that day at the beach, they still would have talked, Jacob was easy to talk to, and they would have found something to talk to other than the Cullens. She would have gone with Charlie when he came down to go fishing with Billy, wanting to see Jacob... a friend that was easy to talk with unlike everyone at school, and one thing would have led to another.
"You're right... again. I do love Jacob. If things had been different, me and Jacob would be together now... but..." she trailed off.
She thought of Edward again, The modern Adonis that was hers. She did love him, so much. She looked down at her engagement ring. She was supposed to marry him, so he would agree to turn her, and then they would have their eternity. Could she really give all that up? Did she even want Normal. She had made up her mind just as a huge clap of thunder hit.
"I really have to get going if i'm going to make it before the storm hits. I..." she was cut off by billy before she could finish.
"Even knowing all of that, your letting the addiction win huh?" Billy sounded upset "I thought maybe you would come to your senses." Billy finished.
"You didn't let me finish. I'm going home yes, but I'm going to say goodbye to Edward. You're right Billy... about everything... I never really realized until now... but with Edward. I'm constantly waiting for something... anything to happen. But here, with Jacob... I'm able to really relax, let my guard down completely. I have to tell Edward. I at least owe him that... and I have to give him the ring back... it... it was his mothers." It wasn't until after she spoke that she remembered Jacob was still in the room, albeit a wolf at the moment, but there all the same, and aware of everything that just happened. She gathered her things again and made it to the door this time. Before she walked out she looked at Wolf Jacob she said "Jake... I choose you. I'm taking the normal path. We'll talk when I get back... and when your not in your wolf state." Jacob howled in approval as Bella walked out and into her truck.
Bella was reaffirmed of her desicion when she started to drive away and for the first time since leaving pheonix, she felt like she was leaving home. She kept driving though, she knew that in order to go back home, she had to quit her addiction. She had to say goodbye to Edward. For good.