I know I'm in the middle of another story, and I promise I'll finish it, of course. But I wanted to try a songfic.
This song is called Gunslinger by Avenged Sevenfold. And so, therefore, you know that I DO NOT own it. I just love this song so very much. It was given to me.
Third Person POV :
He remembers what it felt like to leave her. He remembers it like it was only yesterday. It was late, so very late at night, and on top of it all, it was raining terribly hard. He looked at her as she slept peacefully on the bed, oblivious to the the storms going around her. Mother nature, and Fang's mind. Carefully, so carefully, he lowered himself to his knees just beside her bed.
He was crying worse than ever now; the tears coming down his cheeks endlessly like a car's windshield. "I'm so sorry, Max," he whispered, sobbing gently. He pressed his lips on the soft curve of her stomach. The place where she carried the beautiful, baby creature. He could hear the beating of her heart through Max's skin.
Max stirred gently, her hands crawling up to press over her stomach protectively but she did not wake. Fang bowed his head, the tears now staining the white sheet. "I'm so sorry." He leaned over to her lips, kissed them delicately.
Out in the pouring rain, the water soaked Fang's hair over his eyes. The woods were dark enough to hide him as he crumpled down to his hands and knees to cry.
Yeah, you've been alone.
I've been gone for far too long.
But with all that we've been through.
It don't matter when I'm coming home to you.
It had been two months and twenty one days since the day she last saw him. It had been two months and twenty one days since the last time she hadn't cried.
Max stood out on the porch. It was dark, and cold, and wet, but she couldn't care. The biting sensation of the wind was nothing to her. Neither was the darkness that send shivers down anyone else's spine.
Nudge and Iggy were the only ones still awake and planned to stay awake until Maximum, their great leader, finally laid down for the night. As they held each other on the couch silently, they couldn't help themselves but worry deeply for her and her child. What would become of the two of them if Max couldn't piece her heart back together? What would happen if Fang was truly gone forever? They wouldn't ask her these questions; they wouldn't even ask themselves.
They could do nothing but watch her cry for hours, out on that porch bathed in a short supply of starlight. Her head was hung and her hands were quaking leaves on her rounded stomach. The tears from her brown eyes could be seen splashing down on the wooden railing.
Because Max could even feel the sadness from deep inside the baby, who only had two more months until she could breathe the Earth's air.
Never let it show,
The pain I've grown to know.
'Cause with all these things we do,
It won't matter when I'm coming home to you.
He was wrong, all wrong, to leave her in the first place. Even in his sleep, he felt her crying her eyes out and felt the sickening, broken beat of her heart. It didn't match the Great Maximum Ride. For her to cry like that; it didn't match her at all. He had always remembered her as the strong one. The brave-hearted one. The one who never cried or complained or neglected them. She watched out for them before even herself. She watched out for him, always.
And for this, Fang loved her. When he held her, it felt right. It didn't matter where they were. The beach, a cave, the nice house they now all lived in together. It just didn't make a difference. Because she had always been there. When he slept behind her, holding her to his chest, and his face pressed into her hair; she never left.
When they kissed, it was bliss. When Max looked him in the eyes that night, and told him she was carrying a baby, their own child; it was personal heaven in his thoughts.
He had left that. He had left it all.
I reach towards the sky.
I've said my goodbyes.
My heart's always with you now.
Iggy and Nudge found him first, during their morning walk through the beautiful forest surrounding their house.
"Iggy," Fang said quietly, emerging from the trees close to them. "Nudge."
Nudge ran to him still hand in hand with Iggy. She threw her arms around Fang's much larger body and hugged him tightly. "Fang! I can't believe it! You're alive!"
Fang stiffened as she hugged him. "Yes."
"Where did you go?" Iggy said expressionlessly. But Nudge didn't let Fang answer. "Yeah, where'd you go? Why did you go? It's been years! Wait until Max finds out—"
She stopped there because she saw Fang's eyes cloud over with pain. "Max…" was all he could whisper.
My prayers have made it through, yeah.
'Cause with all these things we do,
It don't matter when I'm coming home to you.
He didn't expect for her to forgive him. He didn't expect a kiss, a hug, not even a glance. He knew he didn't deserve it, but he couldn't help but find himself in such pain over wanting her warmth again. It had been three years, two months, and fourteen days since he had last seen her face.
Iggy and Nudge let him go to the house by himself, without asking him anymore questions. He wouldn't give an answer. On the porch, Angel and The Gasman watched him without a word. Angel already knew, and she didn't say a word to him. The Gasman brushed Fang as he walked out into the yard.
Fang ran his hand over the solid door, feeling every single crack that he had touched so very long ago. It was still so smooth. He bit his lip, put his hand through his hair, but didn't allow himself to run away as he opened the door.
It was warm inside, just like he had remembered it. All the furniture of the living room was still in the same place. All the items in the kitchen was kept in the same place. But Maximum Ride was not at the place by the window next to the door like she used to be at this time in the morning. It was quiet.
But it didn't stay that way.
"Iggy!" he heard a voice, a small voice. A little girl's squeal. "Iggy! I'm hungwy, Iggy!"
The owner of the voice rushed around the corner of the hallway. Fang felt his heart jump into his throat.
The small girl, the beautiful girl, stopped in her tracks just before she collided with Fang's legs. She took a step back, her eyes wide and looking up at the dark figure in front of her with curious astonishment.
It was her. The baby girl that Max always whispered in the night about as she stroked her stomach. The baby that Fang felt under Max's skin in the dead of the night as she slept snuggled into him. It was her.
Fang could see the dark, one and a half foot wings, so much like his own, protruding from her back in the slits from her purple shirt. He could see Max's eyes and lips on the girl's face, and the Max's brown hair framing her cheeks. But her actual face shape was his own.
Letters keep me warm.
Helped me through the storm.
But with all that we've been through.
After all this time I'm coming home to you.
"Who aw you?" she spoke, cocking her head to the side. But to Fang's relief, she didn't look afraid.
It was difficult for him, to just stand there. He wanted to fall to his knees, hold the girl tightly in his arms, and cry into her hair. Max's hair. But he knew he couldn't. It tore him apart because he knew he couldn't. She didn't know about him, Fang though that. She doesn't know her father.
"I'm your mother's old friend," he said down to her, trying not to let his voice break. "A very old friend…" He mouthed the last part.
The girl's face brightened, and the smile that she wore made his heart crack. "You look like the photo. The one Mommy has in her room. Fwang." She frowned at the last word as she stumbled to pronounce it. He couldn't speak for a few moments.
"Yes, I am," Fang said, smiling despite himself. "I want to see her, if it's all right."
"Mommy's sleeping," she said, still smiling. "She does that after she cwies. I don't like it when she cwies. I hold her."
He felt his knees buckle as his lips parted in pain. She was still crying. After three years, she still cried. He couldn't even answer.
"I'll show you owa room," she said cheerfully, taking a hold of his pant leg and pulling it towards further down the hall. He followed, without saying a word. "I'm going to go find Iggy. He's nice. He makes me food."
She hugged his leg and ran back down the hall. She was beautiful.
Looking at the closed door in front of him, he could feel his muscles lock in place. What if she was awake? Would she look at him like a stranger?
Despite everything that he feared massively, he opened the door, wincing as it creaked. It revealed the same room, the same bed, the same windows and chair of the room he had always known. The room they had always shared together. It had never changed. It hadn't even grown older. Closing the door, he felt like he had just gotten back from flying with Nudge or Iggy or Angel or The Gasman, and now was about to lay down and hold Max in his arms for the night. Because that's how the world had always worked, before he had even thought about leaving.
I reach towards the sky.
I've said my goodbyes.
My heart's always with you now.
Fang looked at the sleeping girl in the bed before him. His girl, his Max. The one he had always loved. The one he couldn't believe he had hurt so badly. She had dried streaks of tears on her cheeks, on her nose, and on her chin. Her lips were bruised, and the one hand that could be seen had a cut down her knuckles. She looked older, almost. Worn out and exhausted, like she hadn't slept in days. It hurt Fang's heart worse than a blade.
"What have I done to you?" he whispered, running his fingers down her dirty-blonde hair to her neck, careful not to touch her warm skin with his cold skin. He couldn't wake her. "What have I let myself do to you?"
He looked over to the door but it was silent. He looked over to the window but it too was silent. He sighed under his breath.
Silently, he walked over to the other side of the bed. The side of the bed he used to call his own. Carefully, he climbed into the warmness of the blankets and felt the sudden remembrance of home hit him hard inside his heart. He was home. Here, with Max.
She didn't stir as he moved over to her, against her back. He looked at her face, watching for the flutter of her eyelids, and wrapped his arm across her side to curl around her torso. Her breath sucked in heavily through her nose.
"Alexis?" the name murmured from between her lips. "Sweetheart…?" She trailed off, turning over so she was facing Fang without opening her eyes. He stiffened.
But she did what he missed, what he loved and needed. She slipped her arm under him and wrapped it around his back, doing the same with the other over his side. He breathed in short gasps as she pressed her face into the shirt on his chest, closing the miles' distance he had kept between them for so long in just a matter of seconds. Without hesitation, he wrapped his arms around her like she was holding him and cried throughout most of the night without a sound. They slept in an embrace.
My prayers have made it through, yeah.
'Cause with all these things we do,
It don't matter when I'm coming home to you.
When Max awoke, it was nighttime. She blinked her eyes from the sleep, and moved her shoulders in an attempt to loosen her muscles. Out of instinct, she tried to move her hand. But it was stuck.
Her eyes flew open wider, adjusting quickly to the dim light from the moon through the window and stared at the figure before her. Alexis wasn't here; she hadn't been the one Max had held. It was Fang.
She stared at him as he slept soundly, his dark hair covering the side of his face. There was no doubt it was Fang. But there also was no possible way it could be reality in the slightest. She stared at him but he didn't move. His breath made gentle waves on her face.
Three years it had been. Three years since she had last held him like this and even then, nothing was like it was now. He was older; it was clear on his face. The purpleish bruises under his eyes were more evident than ever, like he hadn't slept in his days. Just like her.
"Fang… Fang… Fang…" she felt herself whispering, closing her eyes and opening them again like it was a dream. But he never vanished like the other times she had thought he was here when he wasn't. He never loosened his arms. "It's not you. It can't be you. You're dead; you probably are. That's why you didn't come back."
Her eyes were closed now as she mumbled, and she didn't feel him awake. His eyes were open, staring at her painfully, hearing the words she spoke repeat from her lips like she was having a nightmare. Maybe she was. Maybe he was.
Fang stared at her, waiting, but she didn't reopen her eyes. He couldn't take it any longer. "My Max," he whispered, almost not loud enough to hear. He pressed his lips to her forehead as her eyes shot open again, to stare at him. "Don't whisper those words, please."
When he pulled away, she was looking at him. Tears were starting in her eyes. Her lips were parted and quivering. She looked afraid. "Fang…?"
"Max," he whispered again.
Her fingers came up to tangle in his hair, pulling herself to him so she could press her cheek against his own. He was warm, and she loved it. She loved it all.
"I'm so sorry," he sounded like he was crying. "I'm so very sorry. I left, I broke you, I broke the promise to our baby girl. I broke everything." He sounded horrible.
She couldn't speak; she found herself pressing her lips to his cheek.
"It wasn't right," he kept speaking. "None of it was. I was plunged into a darkness I couldn't escape from. I couldn't even see your face anymore in my mind without falling flat to the floor. I hated myself."
She couldn't take anymore. "Fang, shhh. Please don't ruin yourself with your words. You can't do that; not even if I'm gone or you're gone." She quivered at the last few words.
"I deserve all of it," he said. "I left because I didn't want our baby, Alexis, be like me. I didn't want her to grow up and be as messed up as me. I couldn't take that. She needs to be like you, Maximum Ride."
I've always been true.
I've waited so long just to come hold you.
I'm making it through.
It's been far too long.
We've proven our love over time so strong.
In all that we do.
Max pulled away to look at him; he was truly crying now. It reminded her of three years ago on that rainy night. And that hurt badly. Carefully, she pressed her lips to his lips, sliding her hands through the tears on his cheeks to clear them from his face. She didn't want to see those. She couldn't handle seeing those.
Fang kissed her back with all that he had, letting the sorrow from the three years' absence come leaking out through his lips. He stroked down the side of her face and parted his lips, moving them in the gentle ways he remembered long ago. Touching her lips and tongue so cautiously.
When they broke apart, both of their teared-up eyes were drying up. They looked at each other and saw absolutely everything.
The stars in the night.
They lend me their light.
To bring me closer to heaven with you.
But with all that we've been through.
After all this time I'm coming home to you.
They couldn't speak of the hurt of those long three years again. They couldn't allow themselves. Like a rain in a desert, they washed the pain of it away. It wasn't worth remembering it. It wasn't worth fearing it to happen again when it wouldn't.
"Daddy," Alexis spoke to Fang with never-ending happiness. She had learned; she had always known. "I missed you."
Fang looked at her brown eyes, her brown hair, and the upturn of her small lips like she was an angel. She was. Her statement didn't make sense to him. How could she have missed him? How could she have known? She was so small, and innocent, and loving. She was too young to understand what had happened in his heart. But maybe she was more like him than he realized.
"And I missed you, sweetheart," he whispered to her, smiling his life away as he held her to his chest. "I missed you every single minute. Even in my dreams."
She found his words beautiful, and snuggled her face into his chest. His heart, just like Max's, was her world.
Max looked up at Fang who laid against his right side under the protection of his free arm. She hadn't spoken much as their daughter and the father talked with one another, too speechless with joy. Fang looked back at her, smiling the warm smile she had always loved. Because she loved him, with every breath in her lungs.
"I love you too," Fang whispered to her, reading her expression like a book. "I always have; I always will. And I'm never letting you, either of you, be away from me for too long again."
I reach towards the sky.
I've said my goodbyes.
My heart's always with you now.
My prayers have made it through, yeah.
'Cause with all these things we do,
It don't matter when I'm coming home to you.
And with all that we've been through.
After all this time I'm coming home to you.
Please review and tell me what you think of it. :)