Potato-buddy asked me to write this for Azula-Angel, because it's her birthday, and I decided that I should because I like dedicating things to people ^_^ So, happy birthday to Azula-Angel and here's to you! Cheers.
Warning: Zuko/Azula sibling fluffiness ahead.
Set when the final battle between Zuko and Azula has just ended. Enjoy!
The Wings of a Phoenix
He stood by Katara's side, looking over to Azula as she writhed as if in pain, screaming, throwing her head back as fire erupted from her mouth and tears streamed down her face. Something deep within Zuko broke as he saw his sister in her true moment of insanity, as if the wings of fear that had always kept him flying had disappeared and for the first time ever, he felt safe enough to land.
But something else within him broke too, and it drew an involuntary tear to his eye. It was a piece of his heart which, once upon a time, had belonged to her, and in truth, he had never taken back, even after she had turned into a monster and started trying to kill him.
"Zuko, don't get too close," Katara warned. It was then that he noticed that he was walking right towards Azula. He stopped for a moment and hesitated, but then decided to keep going with the feeling inside him.
"NO!" Azula screamed, twisting and turning desperately, trying to get out of the chains that held her. "GET AWAY! STAY AWAY!" she wailed.
Before Zuko knew what he was doing, he was on his knees at her side, holding her in his arms. She continued to struggle and scream, yelling at him to leave her, to go away, to stop tormenting her. But Zuko didn't hear her words, or feel her struggles against him. He kept on holding on to her.
The Dragon and the Phoenix was their favourite game to play. They were three and four years old when they made it up and began to play. It was a role playing game where they'd create a story about a Dragon and a Phoenix and act it out, having the time of their lives while getting lost in their own little world. Each time they played, they would create a new adventure. And sometimes, if they really enjoyed one adventure in particular, they would replay it over and over and over again.
"Zuzu, what are the Dragon and the Phoenix going to do now?!" Azula asked, smiling widely.
"Lemme think..."
"I know!" she shouted happily. "The Dragon is going to find a really pretty flower and give it to the Phoenix on her birthday!"
Zuko laughed and smiled, "Ok!" And he ran deep into the garden, trying to decide which of the flowers that grew there was the prettiest. He returned with the most flawless rose he could find and held it out for his sister to take. "What happens next?"
It was unknown to Zuko how much time had passed since he had started holding on to Azula. It felt like forever, but at the same time, it felt like he hadn't been there long at all. But the guards were there now and they were taking orders from someone.
With some effort, two of the men pried his arm from around Azula. She was still struggling and squirming on the ground. It took four guards to hold on to her properly and two more to unchain her without letting her escape.
They began to drag her away and Zuko felt the grasp of the two men who had pulled him away from her as he reached for her again, trying to get back to her. He didn't even realize he was trying to get her back in his arms until he felt them holding him back.
Katara came to kneel in front of him, trying to make him hold still, trying to calm him down. But Zuko couldn't hear anything. He felt himself yelling, but he didn't know what he was saying. He was deaf to everything around him. There was no sound. And his logical thinking was gone. He had no self control. All he wanted was to have Azula back in his arms where he could hold on to her.
Something wet was running down his face and Katara reached forward to wipe away his tears, a crease in her soft brow.
Sometimes, they would only repeat certain parts of a game, and change everything around it, until they came up with something they loved perfectly.
Azula had always loved the games when the Dragon would give the Phoenix a beautiful flower. The first time they played with the flower, the Phoenix had put it in a vase and then it had disappeared. Then, she Phoenix and the Dragon had had to solve the mystery of the missing rose.
Another time, the Phoenix wanted to know where the flower had come from and what kind of flower it was, because it was the only flower like that they had ever seen. They pretended it was not a rose, but something much more magnificent to which they had not put a name. And so the Phoenix and the Dragon had gone on an adventure to find a whole field of these strange and magnificent things.
In another game they had played, in that moment when the Dragon was giving the Phoenix the flower and they were both touching it, it had teleported them into another world. They had really loved that game and replayed it a number of times. In their new world, they were surrounded by beautiful and intriguing things that they had never seen before. And they had made new friends as they travelled to find some way to teleport themselves back into their world before tea time.
But Azula's personal favourite was the one where, as the flower began to wilt and die, the Phoenix's wings did the same until the flower died completely and then her wings disappeared. The Dragon and the Phoenix would have to work together to find a flower just like the one the Dragon had given the Phoenix so that she could have her wings back.
When they had started playing that same game over and over again, their mother had had a special bush of flowers planted especially for them – they were Azula's absolute favourite. Their name had been too long and hard for either of the children to remember or pronounce, but the flowers were delicate and small. Their petals were white, but they seemed to have golden specks of dust all over them. They looked like very small roses, but smelt like nothing they'd ever smelt before. Their sent was very rich and sweetly intoxicating. Whenever the Dragon picked one for the Phoenix, Azula would hold it up to her nose and take long sniffs of it, smiling happily as she did so.
Zuko didn't realize he'd lost consciousness until he woke up. He was in his room in the palace, Katara sitting on the edge of his bed, dabbing his forehead with a damp cloth. He had no idea how long it had been since he'd lost consciousness. But it didn't matter to him.
"Where's Azula?" he asked, straining his voice so that he would be heard.
Katara frowned, "Zuko, you only just regained consciousness. Focus on getting your strength back and then we'll talk about Azula."
"Where is my sister?" he asked again, attempting to sit up. But he fell back to the mattress squeezing his eyes shut when his vision was invaded by black spots.
"Don't move around so much," Katara warned. He felt one of her hands press against his chest to keep him down. "She's ok – she's been transported to a rehab centre with your father out the back of the city."
"Dad...? Wait – the war – did we win?" he asked, attempting to sit up again. But Katara didn't let him.
"Yes."
"Aang, is he...?"
"He's fine," she smiled.
"And... wait, he didn't kill my dad?"
"No, he took his bending away."
"Whoa... and he and Azula, they're in a rehab centre now?"
"Yes," Katara nodded.
What little energy Zuko seemed to have drained away with that. For a few hours, he hovered somewhere between unconscious and awake. When he finally gathered up enough energy, he asked, "How long have I been out?"
"A few days," Katara said softly.
"How many?" he asked irritably.
She took a moment to calculate, "Four, and nearly five."
Zuko nodded once, weakly. Then, with a heavy sigh, he managed to push himself upright.
"Zuko –"
"I'm fine," he said, putting a hang out to stop her from forcing him back down to the bed. "Who's been taking care of things? What have I missed?"
"Your Uncle has fixed everything up. The end of the war has been announced and amends are being made as we speak. The comet passed without causing too much damage. Aang got to your dad before he could do anything too horrible."
Frowning at the floor, Zuko nodded. Then he stood.
"Where are you going?" Katara asked with a sigh.
Without turning to look at her, he answered, "I need to see my sister."
It was the middle of winter, and that year was strangely cold. There had even been some snow in some of the more northern regions. The plants in the palace gardens weren't coping so well, but the little bush of flowers that Zuko and Azula used for their game was still green. By then, Zuko was nearly seven and Azula was nearly six.
One cold day, they raced each other out into the gardens.
"What are the Dragon and the Phoenix going to do today, Lala?"
"The Dragon hasn't picked a flower for the Phoenix in a long while!" Azula smirked. "Maybe he should pick her one today!"
Smiling, Zuko dashed over to the bush and returned to Azula with one of the flowers.
For a moment, they both frowned at it. It was a little black around the edges of the petals and seemed to be a little smaller than usual.
"Looks like the frost is starting to get to it..."
"I guess this means that the Phoenix's wings are already starting to disappear," Azula said.
So the Dragon and the Phoenix started wandering around the garden, pretending they didn't know where more of the flowers grew and when the flower Azula carried was all wilted and limp, she claimed that the Phoenix had lost her wings.
"I think I know where we can find some more of the flowers!" the Dragon exclaimed happily. He took the Phoenix and led her to a bush.
Zuko's face fell as he laid eyes on the bush. So did Azula's.
"Zuko, there are no flowers left," Azula stated, face expressionless.
"What? That's can't be right!" Zuko examined the bush thoroughly, searching it from top to bottom, all the way through, but the only flowers he found were already dead. "I don't believe it..."
He turned around to look at Azula. Her face had taken up a frown.
"I'm going inside," she murmured quietly.
Zuko watched after her as she disappeared.
For the next couple of days, Zuko and Azula would run out to the bush and look to see if more flowers had grown because the Phoenix still didn't have her wings back. But each day, the little bush grew weaker and weaker and as the days went on, hopes that they could find the Phoenix's wings disappeared.
One day, they walked outside slowly. The night before had been the coldest yet and they weren't sure they would like what they would see had become of their beloved bush.
It stood in its spot in the garden, a mere cluster of frail twigs and branches, completely bare of leaves and flowers.
Azula said nothing and went inside. Zuko only stayed outside a moment longer before he followed.
The next day, Zuko asked if the Phoenix thought she could wait until spring to find her wings again and Azula shook her head.
"The Phoenix is dead, Zuko."
They didn't play the Dragon and the Phoenix again after that. Every time Zuko suggested it, Azula would remind him that the Phoenix was dead. It was no fun playing a Dragon on his own. So they both stopped playing the game all together. Soon, Zuko stopped putting it forward and he and Azula grew quickly apart, until the game was long forgotten and they were too old to play such childish things anymore regardless.
That was when they stopped being friends.
That was when Azula started to turn into a monster.
That was when Azula, the Phoenix, really did lose her wings.
The bush never came back to life.
Zuko visited Azula at the rehabilitation centre often. He occasionally went to see his father, but never felt a constant need to.
She was unpredictable. Sometimes, she would be quiet and timid and afraid of him whenever he came near her. Sometimes, she would scream at him, throw her fists and him and try to hurt him. But Azula was weak. She was given firebending suppressants to reduce the risks of any injuries to herself or anyone who came close to her. Zuko gave orders to make sure she was well nourished and not mistreated. But no matter how strictly his orders were followed, Azula only seemed to grow weaker with time.
"I don't understand what's happening to her," he whispered to his Uncle one time.
"A Phoenix is nothing without its wings, Zuko. Everything she stood for, everything she worked for, everything your sister believed in – it is now gone. She saw the lie before it was over, but it was already too late for her to turn back and save herself."
After some time, Azula became a little less unpredictable. She would never have aggressive reactions to her brother's presence – they were always passive reactions. She would begin to cry and scream as if she was afraid of him. Other times, she would cry onto him, asking for him to end her pain and misery. She would cry with her head in his lap and he would stroke her head gently, assuring her that it would be ok.
But Zuko knew it wouldn't be. His sister had lost her mind, and trying to help her find her sanity again was a fruitless cause. But he did not have the heart to stop seeing her. He knew she was dying, but without him – someone familiar who was comfortable with letting her lean on them for hours on end as she cried and cried – she would die faster. And he didn't want her to.
"No, no... d-don't g-go," she snivelled, digging her nails into his arm as she clung to him. "Don't leave me here alone. Please!" More and more tears welled up in her eyes again. Suddenly, she sprang back from him, looking at someone who did not exist, standing in the doorway. "Mother, I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" She curled up in a ball in the corner where she sat and started rocking back and forth.
Zuko looked up to where she thought their mother was. As always, she was not there. As always, Azula was hallucinating. Zuko looked at her with worry in his eyes and he moved in closer to her and wrapped his arms around her again. Azula buried her face in the crook of his neck.
"Shh, it's ok. She forgives you," he whispered.
As Zuko made his way back to the palace that day, he sighed. As of tomorrow, it would have been a whole year since the war had ended. His father was in fine mental condition. They would soon be moving him to a cell at the Boiling Rock prison where he'd be able to interact with other people properly again, even if they were all crooks.
But Azula wasn't making any improvements. It killed Zuko inside. The doctors who worked at the rehab centre had told him over and over that she wasn't going to last. Zuko knew it was true. But he wasn't going to let her go. He'd be there for her until the end.
Another year passed and the doctors informed Zuko that her immune system was beginning to fail. She became sick often and Zuko would be warned to be careful of her. But it would never put him off.
Winter came and just as it had been that time so many years ago, it was strangely cold. Many people fell sick with colds and flues, and those who weren't strong enough did not survive.
Azula became sick. Zuko stayed by her side for as long as she could. The doctors said she wouldn't last the winter. Zuko wanted to prove them wrong. He stayed with her, even during the night and took care of her himself.
She would sleep soundly with him there. His lap would become her pillow and he'd rub circles on her back to sooth her. He'd wake her from her nightmares before they got too horrible and they started to talk.
Her throat hurt from coughing, but as the days of winter went on by, she spoke more and more, making proper conversation. She wouldn't cry as much when she saw her mother and she would smile whenever she saw Zuko.
"Zuko, remember that time the Dragon gave the Phoenix a flower and they ended up in a different world?" she whispered in her strained voice.
Zuko stiffened for a moment and looked down at her in shock. Neither of them had spoken of their childhood game since he had given up on trying convincing her to play again.
He smiled gently at her, "Yes, I remember."
She smiled weakly up at him. "Do you remember the bush of flowers mother had planted for us to use when we played that game?"
"Yes," he whispered, running his fingers through her hair as she lay her head back down in his lap.
"Did it ever grow back after the winter ended? I never took another look at it after it died."
Zuko hesitated for a moment, "No, it never came back to life."
He felt her emit a sad sigh. "Pity. I loved those flowers."
He smiled gently, "I know you did." She lay still with her head in his lap for a moment before he spoke again. "You know, I'm the Fire Lord now, so..." He trailed off, hoping she would catch his drift. But she made no sound of acknowledgement – she was already asleep. Zuko nodded off shortly after, but before he did so, he promised himself something – when he returned to the palace the next day, before he did anything else, before he went to any meetings, or caught up on sleep, or saw any of his friends, he was going to find some more of those flowers.
When Azula awoke and a doctor came in to check on her as always, Zuko said goodbye to her and headed back to the palace, trying not to look into her eyes for fear of not being able to stand the longing he would see in them.
He ran into his uncle as soon as he arrived.
"My Nephew, you look appalling. Go and get some sleep – a man needs his rest. I will take care of things for now!" Iroh insisted.
"No, Uncle... but I do need your help with something."
Zuko explained about the flowers. Unfortunately, Iroh had never seen the bush – it was planted after he left to force siege on Ba Sing Se and was dead the winter before he got back. Iroh suggested asking the palace staff if they could recall the flowers and what they had been called. An elderly maid told Zuko that the quickest way to identify the flower would be to go to a florist. So he did.
The florist asked Zuko to describe the flower to him and showed him pictures of a few that fit the description. And there amongst all the choices was the one he was looking for.
By evening, although he had not caught up on any of his sleep, Zuko returned to the rehab centre with his hands cradling something gently.
Azula smiled in greeting when he entered her holding cell and wrapped her arms around him when he sat beside her. The hug was only brief as she started coughing horribly and turned away in an effort not to infect him.
"I heard the doctors," she rasped as she settled her throat. "They don't think I'll last much longer."
Zuko gripped her hand tightly, "Don't listen to them. Don't believe them. If you believe them, what they say will come true."
"They're doctors, Zuko," she sighed. "I'm gonna die one way or another – if I don't die because of the mental break-down, then I'll die of this illness before spring comes."
Smiling gently, Zuko shook his head, "Listen to yourself, Azula. You've gotten better – you actually talk now, you don't have random fits of rage or tantrums or cry hysterically as often or hallucinate so much... not nearly as much as you use to. This winter, yea, you got sick, but you got better too."
Azula smiled at him, her eyes omitting a childish glow that Zuko thought had vanished for good a long time ago.
"Azula," he whispered.
"Yes?"
"I have something for you." He didn't hesitate – the brought forward his other hand and uncurled his fingers, revealing the little white flower with golden specks on the petal, sitting in the palm of his hand. The intoxicating sent of it wafted to Azula quickly and a small grin found its way to her lips. "Guess what."
"It grew back?"
"No," Zuko said sadly. "I found a new one and the florist who gave it to me told me how to take care of it during the deadly winters."
A tear strayed down the woman's cheek and her lips trembled as she looked at the delicate little thing her brother was holding out to her.
"Take it," he said after a moment. "I brought it here for you."
Azula looked into his eyes for a moment and then scooped the flower into her own hand. She brought it up to her face and took a deep breath, taking in the smell. She closed her eyes and let the smell take her back and in her mind, she replayed all of those wonderful moments she and her brother had shared as children, playing in the palace gardens, being best friends, the Dragon and the Phoenix, the flowers, their own little world... and she replayed every moment he was there for her even after that all went away, even the moments of the past few days that had been.
Zuko caught her in his arms as she passed out and called out for the nurse. The nurse checked her and assured him that it was just her illness. She draped a blanket over her and advised Zuko to leave.
"She probably won't last the night."
But he did not leave her.
That night had been the coldest yet. The nurse returned later on with another blanket for Zuko, but he did not use it – he draped that one over his sister as well and held her hand and ran his fingers over her hair, smoothing it back from her face but making sure her ears stayed covered. He refused to let her freeze to death – he just would not let it happen.
Zuko fell asleep in a very uncomfortable position, slouched against the wall with his legs crossed and her head in his lap. His back ached when he awoke and he looked at his sister with fear. She was still. Her skin was white in the morning light.
"Azula?" he whispered, shaking her shoulder gently. She did not stir immediately and his face fell as he feared that she had finally left him. "Azula..."
Her eyes fluttered open, "Zuko?"
His eyes widened and he smiled, "You're ok."
She smiled back up at him and nodded. Then she snuggled closer to him for warmth and fell asleep once more.
The days and nights after that weren't so cold. Azula and the others who had been sick and had not died slowly got better. As spring dawned on the Fire Nation again, Azula was allowed out of her holding cell to interact with other people.
"Zuko," she said to him one day. "I can understand if you never want me to leave this place and if you never want me to be free of confinement. But I just want to go back to the palace one last time before you lock me away forever," she said solemnly. "Please, will you take me to the garden so I can see the flowers again?" she asked, holding the dead body of the one he had brought to her that cold night in the palm of her hand.
Zuko frowned at her and then smiled, holding her hand and closing her fingers around the dried out and wilted petals.
"Azula, once you are better, I am not going to have you locked up at the Boiling Rock or some other prison like dad is. You've changed – he hasn't. You've already been locked up long enough. I'll take you down to the palace gardens tomorrow and once the doctors inform me that you're fit to leave this rehab centre, you'll come back to the palace to stay," he said to her.
Azula was shaking her head before she finished the sentence, "Zuko... Brother... Zuzu..." She stumbled for words and then looked into his eyes. "You are far too kind to me. After all that I have done to you, how could you possibly –"
A finger was pressed against her lips to silence her and he smiled at her.
"Because you are my little sister, and I love you." He slipped a finger under her chin and lifted her head to look at him. For a moment, she just frowned at him, her eyes growing wet as if she was about to cry. Then, a smile stretched across her face and she flung her arms around him, pressing her face into the crook of his neck as she sobbed. He wrapped his arms around her too and held on to her.
The next day, Zuko took her back to the palace. Uncle Iroh greeted them both with a smile and walked with them out to the gardens. But he headed back inside to give them some space and make tea soon afterwards.
Azula gazed at the bush of tiny white flowers with golden dust on their petals and smiled. She looked down into her hand where she still held the flower that Zuko had given her that cold winter night and she let the cool breeze whisk it away from her and watch as it landed under its mother-bush.
Zuko picked her another flower and weaved it into her hair, just above her ear. Then they looked each other in the eye and smiled. And with that smile, Azula knew that everything she had done had not been for nothing – it had been to bring her closer to her brother again when he forgave her.
She stepped forward and wrapped her arms around his waist and he hugged her too.
"I love you, Zuko," she whispered. "You're the best big brother in the world."
He kissed the top of her head, "I love you too."
When summer came again, Azula started living at the palace with her brother and Uncle again. She apologized for her actions to Aang and Katara and Sokka, Toph, Suki, Mai and Ty Lee, and although it was a little rough around the edges, in the end, all was forgiven. And as everybody continued to live and Zuko looked upon his sister to see her truly happy again, as she had been when they were kids, he smiled, because he knew that, somehow, the Phoenix had found her wings again and was eternally free.
The end.
And there you have it :) Happy birthday to Azula-Angel, with lots of love from myself and Potato-buddy :D Hope you loved your pressie ;)
And I hope everyone else who read this did too. Everyone, remember to drop in a little review and let me know what you thought.
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P.S - This was not the original ending I had for this story. After I wrote the original ending to it, I decided that for her birthday, Azula-Angel should get something a little happier. So I rewrote it like this... however, I think that my not-so-happy-alternative ending to this story is too good to go unread. Those of you who wanted to read it, put this story on your story alters list and keep watching for it. If the happy ending was good enough, and you don't want it spoiled with the sadder ending this story originally had, don't read the next chapter when it comes out.
Best wishes and lots of love, A-A-A