He just couldn't take it anymore. He was so embarrassed, feeling his cheeks burning. All he could do was looking down. He'd never been so wrong before.

And that idiot, standing there out of breath from running after him, wasn't helping anything. Well, what could he do anyway, it wasn't like it was his fault. He probably was wondering what he was supposed to do at the moment, not understanding what was happening and wondering if he did something wrong, thinking he did something wrong.

- ... Edward...?

He didn't answer, still looking down. Slowly he lifts his hands to hide his face, (his cheeks were really warm in his freezing hands). The night was so cold, more as if it was december. They where in a desertic back alley, it was really dark and silent, all that could be heard was the wind, a heavy atmosphere. He felt someone in front of him getting closer, placing his hands on his shoulders. He didn't have the energy to push him away.

- Edward, if i startled you, i'm really sorry...

- ...

Not getting any answers he worriedly got closer again.

-I...

Silence again

Lazlo didn't finish his sentence. His hands where still on Edward's shoulders who didn't move at all or made any sounds for the last minutes. He had to say it, everything was his fault, if he just didn't have take for granted that his feelings were reciprocated this wouldn't have happened.

Everything seemed so perfect, they were siting in a park, looking at each other, not thinking about anything,and then, he decided to kiss him. Just pressed his lips, for a moment, just touching, feeling the warmth for a few seconds and then end it. He was a few inches away then, looking at a very pale, shocked face. He didn't look mad, just, confused, not understanding but then ...'scared?'. Edward got away, trying to put distance between them. Lazlo wanted to say something but nothing came, he wasn't prepared for such a reaction.

Edward ran away.

- wa... WAIT ! was all he could say and after a short moment of hesitation, chose to go after him. He just couldn't leave things as they were.

And now? What should he say? what should he do? The chances of Edward being unable to love him back seemed kind of high to him right now... Well ... he can't really do anything about that...

Everything began a few weeks before. Edward was getting off the train taking him home and heading to the exit of the station, it was really crowded and kind of late, but he was used to it since he would always come home around that time anyway, when suddenly someone grabbed his left arm (his sleeve to be exact) to stop him ' I probably dropped something' He turned around to see a young man bend over breathing he running after him?

- a.. are you okay?Edward asks feeling stares around him.

The stranger then quickly lifted his head to look at him. Edward, surprised, just froze. He felt as if he knew him, his tanned skin, brown eyes ...

The other noticed his realisation which confirmed who he thought he was

- Edward?

- ...

- As I thought! I wasn't sure but hey, you're way taller now!...Ehm ...did i scare you?

Lazlo was now standing straight and looking at him. 'Taller hun?' he thought having to look up like he always did when they were younger. Lazlo seemed worried now, well he didn't have an answer yet

- I never thought i'd see you here. he finally answered

- Me neither !

Looking a little bit relieved (he wasn't wrong after all) he looked at his watch ' 11:12PM' It was kind of late to go drink a coffee but hey, that didn't happen every day and he had always regretted not keeping contact with Edward, not like he didn't try to but ...well.

- Do you have something to do? Maybe it's a little late but we could go drink a coffee or something?It's been so long.

He was expecting a ' no sorry ' or something like that but

- Yeah sure whatever, i always wondered what happened to you anyway.

Well, he wasn't sure if that was sarcastic but smiled.

In the end they didn't go anywhere, just walked in the night talking, laughing, remembering the days they were in camp. Lazlo was the one remembering almost everything, Edward had forgotten most of it with time and it was kind of strange to hear someone else talk about things he had done and not knowing any of it . . .

Lazlo had noticed how weak Edward's smiles where and how little he would react. ' He changed a lot' Rémembering the angry little Edward who would scream at them for anything, always irritated ,kind of , more energetic than now... Not that he was wanting him to get mad at him ! It was just strange.

There was a silence that neither of them noticed until a few seconds, lost in their thoughts.

- Ehem, well, How have you done since then?

Lazlo didn't know where they were going, just following when they stopped.

- It's kind of late you know?

They couldn't even see each others face

- Yeah (looked at his watch ... 2:36AM!? ) Oh sorry! I didn't realized how late it was!

- No I didn't either until just now, do you know how to get back?

- Hm yeah I think so?

Edward gave him some indications. Finally Lazlo wasn't living really far away ( They had been living so close all that time? ) Edward had missed his bus a little earlier and not finding a place to talk they just happened to walk near his home (They weren't there but just like two corner's away) That's why he thought he would end the conversation and it's then he noticed the time.

- I'll be going then ...

- Wait, maybe we could talk some other day ?

- ...

Edward didn't think for a second that they would meet again, but, ' why not '

- Ok, do you have a cell phone?

Lazlo looked kind of happy, ' I wonder why ' Edward thought.

They exchanged their numbers and after a short farewell, they were gone.

Edward has been almost always busy with work and they only met about one week later, this time in a cafe. Edward wouldn't normally take his Sundays off but made an exception. They didn't really talk about camp days, just what they were doing for a living, who they were still seeing from camp kidney and of their family in general.

Lazlo obviously was still seeing Raj about 2 or 3 times a week. With Clam they always stayed best friends Clam who was at the moment in a very prestigious and far away university studying we don't know what since he would always change his interest after finishing a program, from sciences to arts, who knows what he'll choose,but he would always find the time once in a while to see his friends. Lazlo was a photograph, he had developed an interest in artistic nature photos and started from there, now he normally worked for publicity campains. Edward was working in a marketing company, didn't give more details than that ( he was changing post almost every month for his more than excellent work, he didn't say that to Lazlo, not like Edward was caring or thinking he was good working ). He had also kept contact with Chip and Skip, kind of... They would be the ones calling about once a month to whatever they found interesting(didn't give more details than that again).So... what's Raj doing with his life?

- Oh Raj? ah ...He's working for a touristic agency

The conversation then turned to Raj, unlike them he had moved into a pretty luxurious house (not that Edward didn't have the money to buy twice as big, he just wasn't thinking about that) and was living alone.

- I don't know if you remember Patsy?

- mm... from the squirrel scouts right?

- Yeah

- How could i forget being beaten up by a girl because her father thought someone gave her some stupid love letter ...

Lazlo started laughing, how precise that memory had been compared to others! He found really funny that something so negative would be so persistent in Edwards was more like him.

In fact, they (Lazlo and Patsy) were in a relationship for a pretty long time now, it started when they were still students. But now, of what Edward heard, it seemed like it wasn't going that well, not that Lazlo really said anything, but in some way... arrr but who was he to judge their relationship on two words.

They'd been meeting once or twice a week now, always finding something to talk about, Lazlo would start with a subject and whatever it was Edward would always know something about it or in relation, developing the idea, he would eventually come up with something new. It happened in the past that he had to find concepts for products he didn't even knew about, which would lead him in very diversified research and then knowledge, as for Lazlo, he just naturally had very various interests. Their conversations were normally kind of short,and wouldn't be about themselves but more about subjects. But not this time . They were going to end the conversation like usual, it was something like 3 PM when Lazlo asked:

- Are you doing something today?

- ...?

- I mean ... like we always meet around the same time and leave at the same time, I thought you were probably going somewhere ...

Edward didn't have anything to do, he just thought the subjects would go in circles if they stayed longer, he wasn't used to long conversations like these and simply thought it was best to make them short.

Lazlo was beginning to think he said something he shouldn't have since Edward was now silent. That's something Lazlo noticed, at some point, for an unknown reason Edward would just stop, moving, talking or whatever he was doing and think, sometime staring at something, suddenly lost in very deep thoughts, it wasn't usually long and wasn't happening that often neither, something just caught his attention and made him forgot what he was doing (is what Lazlo liked to think). These silences where of the most fascinating for him.

- I'm not.

Finally they spend the rest of their Sunday together , went to the movies, ate some fast food, walked around town and it was really late now. They stopped at a park, since they walked almost all day, still laughing and talking about the movie, it was so dark they couldn't even see each other. They were now sitting and were silent. Lazlo was looking in Edward's direction not really seeing his face but more it's silhouette which was looking at something in front of them, Edward was lost in his thoughts again ' i wonder what happens if i talk to him now' Lazlo was now wondering what he should do to interrupt Edward in his thinking, maybe he could act as if he asked him something to confuse him or ask a question that doesn't make any sense or...

Edward turn his head to look at Lazlo who had been staring for a moment now. He wanted to be near him a little more, to be even closer, he couldn't explain it to himself he just... thought Edward seemed alone, never talking about him or someone he's living with or something . When he met him about a month before he didn't look well at all, very pale, tired... He would probably get pissed if Lazlo where to tell him that, thinking it was something like pity but it was completely something else.

The suprised look on his face that night at the bus station, how he look when you think he's not listening and then he ask a question to which you can't even answer, the way he smile sometimes, as if ... 'words were just something passing over him' is the only thing Lazlo could think of. Edward had always been a little smarter than the other kids and somehow, it was kind of sad to see him now, grown up to be silent, alone, misunderstood.

The night light was around his head, passing through his pale blond hair and then turning in a blue gray on his right cheek. Trying to see his eyes he remembered a few weeks before when something similar happened and then noticed a fine line of the blue light catching Edward's lips.

They've been there for a moment now. Lazlo caught himself staring and been lost in his thoughts, Edward probably was too. How much time had passed?

- Hum ... Lazlo?

- ...

Then something really strange came to Lazlo's mind 'What if I kiss him ?'