Facing Reality
By Fahiru
Not real.
I repeat the sentence over and over as I rock back and forth on my seat in the train car.
Not real, not real, not real.
I don't look at anyone else. I don't talk to anyone else. I just hug my knees tightly, my eyes squeezed shut as I repeat the words. It's okay. It's a bad dream. I've had bad dreams before. The length is all an illusion. I'm not on a train, I'm back home in District 4. I'll wake up eventually; in my own bed, in my own house, with my parents and my brother and sister. I know this isn't real, because they would have volunteered for me if it was. I wouldn't let them go, but they would have volunteered. I'll be okay. Because it's not real.
I really must have some imagination, because the Capital is incredible.
The buildings are so much taller than would have been practical in the fishing district, where the sturdiness of buildings is more important than their impressive height. With the unstable sand and vicious wind, we really can't afford anything that would sway too much. But the Capital's buildings are so impossibly huge, so much huger than anything normal, so it can't be real. Something so perplexing can only be brought on by a dream.
I've seen them on TV before. That's why they look so clear. I know how the interviews usually go, that's why it feels real. I know that this game is a bloodbath, that's why I dream that they're all betting on how long I'll last.
But I'll be okay, because it's all a dream. Still, I try my best. After all, who wants to die in their own dreams?
So soon.
They tell me to book it. To be in and out in five seconds.
I'm small, so they say to use it to my advantage, to stay low and fast. I'll be okay, because it's just a dream, but I figure that I should follow their advice for practice.
I'm stepping into the tube. I can't hear. It's small and enclosed, I feel like I'm trapped in an underwater cave with no air pockets. Suddenly it's impossible to breath. The very thought is almost ridiculous. Or it would be if I weren't so scared.
I'm rising up. The arena is so vast, like its own enclosed planet. I see the other tributes all around me, waiting. The world holds its breath as I turn to watch the numbers ticking off.
7
6
5
4
3
2
And suddenly it's all too real.
I had never ever watched the carnage on the screen before. I had always found little things off to the side to keep my eyes on, to keep me from seeing. But here, I can see everything.
Not as many screams as I expected. No, some of them don't have the chance. But then the opportunity for surprise attacks vanishes and my ears feel like they're bleeding. It's then that I remember to run.
I'm passing bodies, the slaughter so much heavier than I could have imagined. I make myself stop looking once I realize that some of the dead are not as complete as they once were. Nevertheless, I recognize every one of them.
So close now, but so is everyone else. I can hear them coming close up behind me. The weapons rack! So close!
Right behind the rack there is a small space that only someone as small as me could get into. They said to take advantage of my size, so I do. I can hear the cries dying down, they must be leaving! And suddenly I just want to be out, and somewhere far, far away. I'm a good hider. I could easily avoid them. I jump up, because everything is rushed. I need to be away from the stench of blood and trampled grass. I run out in front of the weapons rack-
Somebody grabs me and whirls me around right as I grab the nearest survival pack.
And then I know for sure that it is most certainly not a dream as I feel the blade slash brutally across my body and the world turns white.
( A/N: Let me explain myself. I just watched The Hunger Games for the first time yesterday, and you know what I thought was the most depressingly awful part? That's right, when that little boy with the curly blond fro whom no one cares about was viciously killed off within the first fifteen seconds of the game. I mean, sure, there were other really sad parts that just tore my heart out...but NOTHING was as sad as that split-second scene. So yeah, I decided to make you guys feel guilty about lamenting over the love triangle instead of caring about the side characters. Just saying. Oh, and the scariest part of that whole movie was the part in the tube right before the game started.)