Akatsuki & Creepypasta Parody
I tried to get this fan-fic as random as I possibly can, so enjoy! Please review!
The city of Pastaville! Such a quiet place, unless you count the nightly screams of innocent people getting murdered in their homes. Well that would be our favorite Creepypasta characters getting to work. Oh the joy of slaughter… enough of that! Let's get to what you're willing to read!
Sen, an average fangirl of anime and Creepypasta, age 17, is in her dark quiet room using her computer when suddenly a knocking occurred at her bedroom door. She sighed and got up from her bed then tip-toed to the door. She put a smirk on her face, Oh who could that be, she thought. Sen slowly turned the knob; the door creaked as she opened it. I'll hide behind so I can scare the living fuck out of them. Two men in hoodies one in a black one the other in a white one covered with bloodstains entered the room.
(Jeff) See, I told you she's not home!
(Jack) Then who opened the door?
(Jeff) The wind?
(Jack) The wind could not have opened the door that slowly.
Sen jumped on Jack's back the yelled…
(Sen) I vant to suck your blood!
(Jack) Argh! They got me! They got me!
Jack fell flat on his face then rolled around trying to get Sen off his back, who he thought was a vampire. Jeff turned on the lights then Jack stopped rolling.
(Sen) Gotcha!
(Jack) Fuck you Sen!
Sen and Jeff were laughing their asses off.
(Jeff) That was actually kind of funny.
Jeff helped Jack to his feet then the eyeless man tried to jump on Sen. Luckliy, the smiling killer was there to stop him.
(Jack) I want your kidney now!
(Jeff) Hey easy! I'm still surprised you have this much energy after the ambush tonight.
(Sen) Ambush?
(Jeff) We'll discuss that later.
Jeff lets go of Jack then the trio went downstairs to meet up with the others. Sally comes running out of the kitchen giggling like crazy with Deidara chasing after her.
(Deidara) Get back here you little psycho!
(Sally) Can't catch me Barbie!
(Sen) Okay stop right there you two!
Both Sally and Deidara stop in their tracks then looked at Sen.
(Sen) What's going on?
Both Sally and Deidara start talking at the same time.
(Sen) Stop! One at a time. Sally you go first.
(Sally) Well, I was playing with one of blondie's clay sculptures…
(Sen) Sally, what did I tell about playing with Deidara's clay bombs?
(Sally) To not touch them without permission and to not play with them unless I have adult supervision.
(Sen) And what did you do?
(Sally & Deidara) The complete opposite!
(Jeff) Deidara, you should hide your bombs in a more secure place.
(Deidara) Where? Sasori took all the great hiding spots for his dumb puppet collections.
(Sasori) My puppets are not dumb!
Sasori shouted from the bathroom. He stomped out wearing his transformers pajamas and teddy bear.
(Laughing Jack) Oi! You people need to stop using my shampoo!
Laughing Jack climbed through the living room window followed by Hidan and Kisame.
(Eyeless Jack) Since when do you use shampoo?
(Hidan) Let the party begin!
(Sen) Itachi, Ben, Hoodie, Masky, Kakuzu, and Slenderman aren't here yet.
Just then, pounding at the front door occurred.
(Sen) I'm coming!
(EJ *Eyeless Jack*) Hold you kidneys!
Sen opens the door revealing Slenderman holding Hoodie and Masky by his tentacles.
(Slendy) We have reached our destination!
(Hoodie) Great, now put us down!
Slenderman drops the two. Itachi walks in rolling a red wagon with Ben sitting in it eating bag of fruit snacks followed by Kakuzu holding a silver briefcase.
(Ben) Hello!
He greeted with his mouth full.
(Sen) Good! Everybody's here. Can we all sit in a big circle?
Each psychopath took a folding chair and sat.
(Sen) Okay, first thing I want to do is thank you all for coming to my sleepover party or gathering whatever you want to call it. Jeff put the lamp… down.
(Jeff) Sorry!
(Sen) Anyway, like all sleepovers we have fun and games like—
(Hoodie) a staring contest!
(Sen) No! Besides Jeff has no eyelids so he would be cheating.
(Jeff) It's not cheating.
(Sen) And it wouldn't be fair to Eyeless Jack and Slenderman because, well, I don't think I need to explain why.
Everybody looks at the two with no eyes.
(Sally) How about hide-and-seek? In the forest?
(Kisame) Sally, the last time we played hide-in-seek was like playing Slender all over again.
(Slendy) It's not my fault I'm good at hiding in trees and scaring the living fucks out of people.
(LJ) Actually it kind of is.
(Slendy) Hush!
(Itachi) Concentration.
(Hidan) Hell no.
(Kakuzu) Yeah, no.
(Sasori) It's complicated.
(Creepypasta characters) Agreed!
(Itachi & Sen) Fine.
(Sen) Karaoke, candyland, twister, charades, watch horror movies!
All killers look at Sen then laugh crazily.
(Sen) What?
(Ben) That's kind of ironic.
(Sen) Okay, what do you guys want to do?
(Akatsuki) Truth or Dare!
(Masky) Yes!
(Sen) Everybody else agree?
All nodded their heads in agreement.
(Sen) Okay so it's settled. Who'll go first?
Immediately, everybody except Sally shot their hands up.
(Sen) Sally, you go.
(Sally) Okay. Um…
Sally scanned the circle randomly for her first victim then rested her eyes on Jeff.
(Sally) Jeff! Truth or Dare?
(Jeff) Dare!
(Sally) I dare you to do the Harlem shake!
(Jeff) That's it? Just a crazy dance?
(Sally) Yeah now hop to it!
Jeff the killer did the craziest dance he ever did in the middle of the circle causing the crew to laugh hard. Once he was done, Jeff sat back in his spot then chose his victim.
(Jeff) Jack!
(Slendy) Which one?
(Jeff) Um… Laughing Jack, truth or dare?
(LJ) Oh geez, truth.
(Jeff) You're no fun, what was the name of your last victim and how old were they?
(LJ) Her name was Emily, she was 10 years of age, and her mom had a criminal record.
(Jeff) Was that last part important?
(LJ) No.
(Jeff) Then why'd you tell me?
(LJ) I had to say something. Itachi, truth or dare?
(Itachi) Dare.
(LJ) Juggle with active chainsaws.
(Sen) What?! No! Change it Jack!
(Itachi) It's alright I'll do it. Where do you keep the chainsaws, Sen?
(Sen) In my closet over there.
Itachi grabbed the chainsaws, powered them up, and then juggled carefully holding the handles and trying to not injure himself. It took an insane amount of luck for the Uchiha to stay alive and clean afterwards.
(Itachi) Okay, Deidara, truth or dare?
(Deidara) Dare. Hit me with your best shot!
(Itachi) Kiss Sen on her mouth.
Everyone oohed and whistled.
(Sen) Fuck you Itachi!
(Slendy) We have a child here!
(Sally) I'm good!
Deidara walked across to Sen then planted his lips on Sen's.
(EJ) Ooh!
(Hidan) Get a room you two!
(Hoodie) Make it saucy!
Sen quickly broke the kiss then shoved Deidara away from her.
(Deidara) Masky, truth or dare?
(Masky) Truth.
(Deidara) Are you wearing ladies underwear?
(Masky) Oh, um, no!
(Hoodie) He lies! Pull down his pants!
(Masky) No!
Everybody watches in amusement as Hoodie and Deidara try to pull Masky's pants down. Once they were down the group stared in horror, except for Sally and Sen because Ben covered their eyes.
(Kisame) Masky doesn't wear underwear?
(Jeff) Oh god that is just wrong.
Out of nowhere Laughing Jack started cackling like a hyena on drugs. (That is if hyenas would ever be on drugs). Embarrassed, Masky pulled put his pants again.
(Masky) Okay you all had your fun! It's my turn, Eyeless Jack, truth or dare?
(EJ) Dare.
(Masky) Kill Hoodie!
(Slendy) Masky…
(Kakuzu) What…
(Sasori) The…
(Jeff) Fuck?
(EJ) I can't do that, Creepypasta characters can't kill each other.
(Masky) Then injure him in some way.
(EJ) Will do!
Eyeless Jack stabs Hoodie in the stomach.
(Sen) Oh my god! You stabbed Hoodie!
(EJ) Masky said injure him.
(Hoodie) I'm okay I'll live.
(Slendy) Don't bleed on the carpet!
(Ben) I'll get napkins.
(EJ) Sasori…
(Sasori) Dare.
(EJ) Um… you could… give me a minute.
(Sasori) It doesn't take that long to think of a dare.
(EJ) Everybody took all the good ones. Ooh! I know! Go to Killer Katie's place and TP her house.
(Sasori) Killer Katie? You want me to TP Killer Katie's house! You know what she's going to do to me if I get caught?
(Hidan) She'll stab you nine times in the chest then cut off your pointer finger.
(Sasori) Exactly!
(EJ) Aww! What a baby!
(Sasori) Shut the hell up, I'm not a baby!
(Kakuzu) Come on Sasori, a dare's a dare.
(Sasori) Fine! But on one condition.
(EJ) What?
(Sasori) At least three of you have to come with me. Since Eyeless Jack is making me do the dare, he has to come.
(EJ) Done.
(Sally) I volunteer!
(Slendy) No. Sally you stay here.
(LJ) Count me in!
(Deidara) Because I'm Danna's partner I'll go as well.
(LJ) I'll grab the toilet paper then we'll head over to Katie's place!
That's end of chapter one! I'll make sure I'll get to the food fight!