Possession
A: Control or occupancy without regard to ownership. B: Something owned, occupied, or controlled. C: A psychological state in which an individual's normal personality is replaced by another.
Their hands were clasped in the beginning, before everything fell apart. Fingers clutched closely together, palms cold against each other, their two hands became one. Even as the rest of the world fell away, there was always the other, always the one that they could go back to.
But something happened, something cracked their bond, ripped them apart.
It was Sasuke who tore them apart.
It was Sasuke who left.
And even as Naruto clutched closer and closer, harder and harder, pulling on Sasuke, trying to make him return, there was nothing he could do to patch the fragile thing between them that had broken, slipped away. No matter how close Naruto held Sasuke to him, nothing could fix what was irrevocably torn apart. It was as though Naruto were trying to hold sunlight in his palms, the warmth making the cold Sasuke had instilled fade away, before it slipped, red and cool, straight through, illuminating his fragility, his humanity. In the end, Naruto was still nothing more than human.
Even if Sasuke did return, after all these years, there was still those three years between them, those to-the-death fights, those incisive words that could never be taken back. The brutal memories that could never be washed away, no matter how much blood was spilled. The world kept changing and changing, every second different from the last, nothing stable, and so nothing could ever go back to the way it was.
Sasuke had changed. Naruto has changed.
Its three years later and they're on opposite sides again, kunai braced against one another, neither willing to give in. It's all they have left in this fight, and they stare at each other through the prison formed by their blades.
"Give up," Sasuke spits from one side, dark eyes unreflecting in the dusky light of the rising sun. They've been fighting all night, winner undetermined, and Naruto feels like they've been doing this his entire life. Feels that his life is slowly turning into one long night of fighting against Sasuke, and he's sick of it.
"Ladies first," Naruto returns, jaw tightening as Sasuke forces more pressure on the blades.
Sasuke's eyes flash. "Just give up, Naruto. You can't beat me."
"That's—" Naruto grunts as Sasuke forces him back a few inches, and he returns the favor, eyes narrowing. "That's not what you said three years ago."
Sasuke lets out a gruff laugh, breath almost lost. "I said a lot of things back then I didn't mean."
"Oh, really?" Naruto can feel his incisors growing, heat spreading from the seal on his stomach and he forces the infectious chakra away through sheer will alone. Keep angry, he thinks. Make it go away. "Like what, bastard?" he barks, tightening his slipping grip on the bindings.
"Like saying you were my best friend."
Naruto isn't surprised to hear the lie slip through Sasuke's teeth, and doesn't give up his position for a second.
"Che." He can feel the handle of the kunai beginning to numb the area between his thumb and forefinger, sweat slipping through the areas between his fingers. "That's what everyone says."
Sasuke's eyes close, and for one moment Naruto thinks that he's won. But then Sasuke's eyes are open and he's forcing Naruto back a couple of inches that he can't regain no matter how hard he tries. "I'm amazed you have any friends left. No wonder you've come crawling after me."
"Who crawled?" Naruto huffs, shoving hard on the kunai, fingernails cutting into his palm. "I had to drag your sorry ass back here."
"Just how—" Sasuke stops as Naruto forces him back several inches, deadlock hardly changing. "Just how do you expect to keep me in Konoha?" Sasuke coughs, breath coming hard. Something's wrong, but Naruto can't stop or else Sasuke will get away. "Ropes? Chains?" Sasuke's eyes close and a moment later they're turning red, but the Sharingan wheels aren't visible. "Or are you going to keep me there with sheer will?"
"You'll stay. I'll make you stay." Naruto can feel blood begin to fill the bindings, making his grip slip slightly. Pain is everywhere, pressing deep underneath Naruto's skin, and the sun is rising, light nearly blinding him.
"I won't stay for you," Sasuke says.
Warmth begins to crawl up his spine, locking in the spaces between his shoulder blades, spreading down his ribs and up his neck. "Then I'll make you forget everything but me," Naruto says, feeling the warmth begin to make its way towards his eyes and he fights to keep the red from his vision. He wants to bring Sasuke back himself, without any help. He needs to do this himself.
"All you'll know is me; all you'll care about is me." He shoves forward on their braced blades, pushing Sasuke back. Blood slides down his wrists towards his ripped shirt, barely orange through all the grime and dirt it's been through.
Sasuke huffs a laugh— "So selfish, Naruto. Taking me all for yourself." He coughs again, and Naruto gains a little more. "You'll never get all of me, though." Sasuke's teeth grit, jaw a hard shadow. "Itachi made sure of that."
"What are you talking about, bastard? You're mine." Because there's nothing else he can call his own. Everyone else has someone else—but all he's ever had to himself is Sasuke; Sasuke's the only one who's ever given himself to Naruto, alone. And Itachi is gone— Naruto's bonds are stronger than death.
Blood collects in the crevice of Naruto's palms, glinting in the nearly-risen sun, but he shoves harder, heat overtaking him like a fever, and Sasuke lets go. Naruto is suddenly crushed against Sasuke as they fall, and his hands grip Sasuke's shoulders, unbearable heat spreading its way through Naruto's veins onto Sasuke's skin. There's nothing he can do to stop it, and he suddenly feels like he's been fused to Sasuke, memories flashing by him in a sequence he doesn't know and can't recognize.
"You're mine." Naruto isn't sure who says it before there's a flash of red and then nothing.
He awakes, cold infringing on his senses, in the forest. He's lying on his back then, staring up through the trees at the sharp sickle of the moon through the black trees. The ground braces against his back like a slab of concrete, unflinchingly hard. He tries to turn his head, tries to remember what brought him here. But as soon as he does, pain lances down his neck and up his spine and the world goes dark.
"Sasuke..." A voice echoes and Naruto looks around. Snow is falling around him, tree branches dark and smothered in white. Someone touches him on the shoulder and he turns around to see Itachi, black hair lightly touched with snow and eyes impenetrable.
Strangely, he doesn't feel afraid. Something warm pulls at his insides and a smile stretches across his cheeks. He feels his legs moving, and he's running straight at Itachi.
"Aniki!" He yells in a small voice that isn't his own, with love and innocence that he does not possess. He goes barreling into Itachi's wide open arms, but seems to fall through, and someone grabs his arms right before he's about to scream.
He looks up. A woman with dark hair and eyes so like Sasuke's eyes is staring down at him, a small smile pressed across her thin lips.
"Be careful, little Sasuke. You don't want to get hurt on your first day of academy, do you?"
Her voice is warm and melodic, the love and devotion apparent through her words. He can smell something sweet in the air, like sugar cookies fresh from the oven and his small hands grip Sasuke's mother's rough apron, flakes of dry dough coming off on his hands.
A desire to hug this woman closer, to never have to let this dream go suddenly seizes Naruto. A real mother, he thinks, but his body won't listen to him and he steps back.
"Sasuke?" Her voice is questioning now, still warm and soft, but as she asks again and again and he doesn't answer, it rings with fear and desperation. "Sasuke? Sasuke? Sasuke!?"
And then she's screaming and he's lost inside of the darkness. He can't move or scream, do anything to stop the sight of the blade through her chest, red blood streaming down the front of her dress. And there is Itachi, masked and faceless behind her, fingers on the hilt hardly shaking.
"NO!" He yells and lunges towards his mother, no, no, its Sasuke's mother and this is Sasuke's memory, Sasuke's pain flowing through his veins. But as he reaches out towards Itachi, his fingers grasp nothing, the vision of Itachi fading away into nothingness.
He yells and yells until his throat burns hoarsely, slowly going numb in the darkness. His knees buckle under him and hit something hard and he falls forward onto his palms, the memory crippling him. Tears burn at his eyes, the tears he never cried, running into the rain flowing over him.
His hair is plastered to his forehead and clothes stuck to his skin, and every inch of him bruised. Sand oozes up around his fingers, wet and cold and Naruto knows this place, has visited this place in his nightmares and daydreams, this Valley where everything seemed to end but nothing really did.
But maybe it did.
His anger seems to fall away as he opens his eyes, eyelashes ringed with falling raindrops that nearly blind him. He can see his own face, surprisingly calm and untouched by the rain that Sasuke blocks from hitting him.
So this is what it looked like, Naruto notes vaguely. This is what happened. His chest starts to hurt, then, and he presses his hand to his heart it like he's been stabbed, but there's nothing there. His fingers clutch uselessly at the stained fabric of his shirt as he feels his mouth open.
The words fall out like he's never said them before, his name never having been so raw, hoarse. "Naruto..." he says and he can feel something tighten around his heart.
He doesn't know what he wants to say, thoughts blending in and out. "Naruto..." He wants to say goodbye, to say sorry, to say you're my friend, that I don't really want to go, that I'll be back once this is all over, stronger than ever. But he can't, because he has no idea if it is true.
He doesn't know if he wants to come back.
His eyes close and he slips forward, landing on his back. The cold feeling of the rain patters away and there's a warm blanket up to his chest. The air around him is suddenly suffocating, as though he is trapped within a hot room without windows.
"Sasuke," a voice sounds, a definite edge to his name. He doesn't move. "Sasuke," the name hisses again, and the orange light flickers as a door opens on the edge of his vision. A dark figure moves closer and Naruto is frozen in place, eyes on the earthen ceiling as though he can ignore the approaching figure.
"Sasuke..." a hand touches his shoulder, the seal, his cheek. It's cold, as though dead, and still he refuses to look.
"It's time," the voice whispers, breath wafting over his skin. "Time to go."
He moves, abruptly, his hand tight around a cold neck and the world shifts around him in black and white. Strange seals that he can't decipher swim in front of his vision and he can see Orochimaru, blue chakra swimming around his sunken face.
"Never," he says, voice rough as though he hasn't used it in days. "Never."
Hands batter at Sasuke's grip, skin warm and he sees his own face where Orochimaru's used to be. He knows this place, too. This place comes less often to his dreams, but when it does, he can never move, never fight back. He slowly asphyxiates in his dreams, awakening only when he can no longer hold his breath, gasping like he's drowning. Sometimes, it seems like this is all he ever remembers of Sasuke.
He looks into his own frightened blue eyes, watches as the cheeks on his face slowly turn red and then pale, the whisker marks becoming more prominent as the blue eyes close.
And then he is thrown backwards, and he sees the fox's red-orange chakra like a strange halo around his head, rippling around his body as warmth touches Sasuke's cold skin. The rocks at his back crush the katana to him, the hilt digging into the bottom of his spine.
"You can't win, Naruto!" He yells, voice hard. There's anger beneath his skin that cries to be expressed, a vengeance that he can no longer explain forcing him along this path. He pushes off of the rock face, drawing the katana quickly, feeling the metal crackle with electricity. The blade connects with Naruto's clawed hand in an explosion of light and he is thrown backwards.
When Naruto opens his eyes, the world is cold again and the ground is hard against his back. The wind shifts the trees above him, and he lifts a scratched hand to his head. It is his own again.
Turning his head, he looks over to his left, where an unmoving Sasuke lies on his back next to him. The boy's eyes are closed and his face is relatively calm, but blood drips down his from his lips, pooling next to his chin. Fear rockets through him at the sight and he feebly whispers, "Sasuke."
Sasuke doesn't move.
"Sasuke," Naruto whispers again, attempting to lift himself up from the ground but his muscles just won't listen to him. "Get up, Sasuke." He coughs. "Sasuke." He manages to roll himself onto his side, but still Sasuke lies there, not responding. "Sasuke, you bastard, get up!"
Gripping the cold ground with one hand and rolling himself over onto his stomach with the other, Naruto shoves himself towards Sasuke, body dragging fully on the dirt.
"Sasuke!" He yells, his voice cracking and it's just then that he realizes he's thirsty. He's thirsty and more tired than he's ever been but still he forces himself towards Sasuke, fear carousing through him. "Get up now, bastard!"
The few feet between them stretch like miles to Naruto. "Don't you dare die on me, bastard! I'll kill you!" His legs drag uselessly behind him and he pulls himself up to Sasuke using only his hands. One hand grabs at Sasuke's shirt as the other wipes clumsily at the liquid coming from Sasuke's mouth, smearing blood and dirt across Sasuke's cheek.
Sasuke's skin is eerily cold as Naruto yanks the kimono-like top open, searching for injuries, but there is nothing that Naruto can see. It must be internal, he thinks, pulling the top closed, and worse. He can't do anything to stop something inside of Sasuke from being broken.
There's nothing he can do.
"Sasuke!" He yells, feeling the tears begin to break behind his eyes, and he reaches over to grasp a lock of Sasuke's dark hair in his hand. Pulling on it, hard, he tries to make Sasuke awaken, but nothing is happening and everything is becoming blurry.
"Wake up, Sasuke," he whispers, the cold numbing him, slowly moving up his back, towards his head. His hands grip tightly around Sasuke's arm, fingers buried in the rough fabric. "Wake up..." His neck bends and his forehead drops into the dirt next to Sasuke's shoulder. "Don't die..."
And cold is all he feels.
He awakes in flashes after that. There's the briefest recollection of being in someone's arms, someone's fingers digging into his jacket as a voice speaks unintelligibly in the distance.
He finds himself flying through the air, only the view of the moving forest above him, the briefest flashes of sky breaking up the dark green. He blinks and sees the gates of Konoha behind him, large wooden doors slowly closing as shops come into view, shutters closed and darkness descending above the light of the streetlamps.
There's the feeling of being set down on a cool, soft bed, clean linens brushing across the nape of his neck. There's whiteness above him and people swimming in and out of focus, none of the faces recognizable or constant. An intercom buzzes in the background, static filling the air as voices clamor for distinction.
But there's one word that keeps repeating, one word he can hear. "Alive, alive, alive." It breaks the fuzzy barrier around him, but it's the only thing.
Alive. Stay alive. I'm alive.
There's the feeling of plastic over his nose and mouth, a sweet-smelling waft of air and his eyes slowly close.
When he awakens next, he's in a cool room, half-blue light illuminating the minimal furniture and white walls. A green curtain blocks half of the room from view, so it's just Naruto and the white window. He tilts his head down and sees his arms wrapped completely in bandages, but his legs are hidden from view, and when he tries to move them, nothing happens.
Fear badgers his tired body, and he forces one hand up and slams a loose fist onto his thigh. His leg jumps and feeling suddenly returns to his lower half. He sighs, tilting his head back and closing his eyes, one hand automatically coming up to touch his head.
There's a tight bandage wrapped around his forehead, a thick piece of gauze pressed against his left temple, but nothing seems to hurt. In fact, Naruto only feels tired, not bruised or cut.
How long has he been knocked out? If everything is healed, it has to be more than a week, given his remarkable recovery time due to the fox. But how bad were his injuries from the fight, anyway?
This inevitably leads his thoughts back to Sasuke, and he sits up abruptly, opening his mouth to call for the nurse. But when he tries to speak, nothing comes out but a rasp of sound.
He has to find Sasuke. Pulling the thin blanket from his legs, he rolls over, shoving the metal bar on the side of the bed down. His legs are similarly wrapped in bandages, but he doesn't feel any pain. It's strange that everything is wrapped as though it were bleeding, but nothing is.
He puts his feet on the cold linoleum, pushing off from the bed, reaching out for the curtain that shields the rest of the room from view. Surely Sasuke is there. But when he pulls the fabric aside, he's faced with an empty bed. Where did they put Sasuke?
Memory intervenes then, vague and misleading. The voices from when he was first brought to the hospital begin to whisper to him again, saying 'alive' over and over. Is he the only one that was alive, the only one that survived?
Naruto stumbles towards the open door, legs suddenly weak as adrenaline forces its way through him again. Bursting into the empty hallway, he twists back and forth before hurrying down it, away from the nurse's station. Passing by identical doors, he searches for Sasuke's name on the plaque outside of one, but there's nothing but unknown names and unreadable characters.
The linoleum is cold as he turns the corner, hand gripping the stucco wall. He crashes into a linen cart and it flips over, him following right after. It's when he's cursing his klutziness, knees throbbing from the hard floor as he props himself back up that he gets an idea. Pulling the cart up, he braces himself on one side, puts one foot on the metal frame, and pushes off with the other. He careens somewhat recklessly down the corridor, doors whizzing past, but there's still no sign of Sasuke.
He's dead, voices whisper. You killed him. With that last shock of Kyuubi's power, you killed him. That's why he didn't respond. You killed him, Naruto. You're still a monster, less than a man, less than human.
He smashes into the wall at the end of the corridor, and he leaves the cart behind because this is the last hallway and he's too tired to keep on pushing. Sasuke has to be here, has to be in one of the rooms lining this corridor because if he's not— but Naruto doesn't want to think about it.
"Sasuke," he tries to call, but the words just won't come out and he's stumbling down the corridor, nearly blind but more aware than he's ever been. Each slip of paper that doesn't have Sasuke's name on it, each receding door tightens the cage around his heart and by the time he reaches the last door he can hardly breathe. Sunlight streams in from the window at the end of the hall, no longer blue but blazingly yellow and white, and Naruto turns to see.
There's no name next to the door.
Something falls within Naruto. He reaches out for the metal doorknob just as someone yells his name.
"Naruto!" He whips his head around and sees Sakura standing at the other end of the hallway, hands on her hips, rosette hair falling to one side.
"What are you doing out of bed?" She strides towards him purposefully, taking his arm and pulling him away from the door. She laughs slightly, her green eyes crinkling at the edges as she speaks. "We thought you were pretty beat up, weren't going to wake up for another week or more. You really lived up to your title as the most surprising ninja, you know?"
She pulls him along the hallway and he twists his head backwards, staring at the last door falling away behind him. Something clenches his throat, so he doesn't respond as Sakura continues to talk.
They reach his room faster than he expects, and Sakura leads him to his bed but he refuses to lie back down. "Sasuke," he rasps out, voice barely comprehensible.
Sakura tilts her head questioningly. "What?"
Naruto motions like he's drinking out of a glass and comprehension spreads across Sakura's face. "Of course, of course," she says before disappearing around the doorframe. She reappears with a glass of water, which Naruto gulps down quickly. He feels like he's been thirsty for days and maybe he has.
He grips the glass in his hands tightly and Sakura tries to take it from him, but he just holds it tighter.
"Where's Sasuke?" Sakura's hands stop halfway to his, and then they're worrying her lip, fingers clutching her chin.
"Uh, he's..." she trails off uncertainly, not meeting Naruto's eyes.
No, no, no no nonono, Naruto thinks desperately. He can't be...
"Perhaps its better that you see him for yourself."
Plays dramatic music here. What do you think?
I wrote this a long time ago. Well, not that long ago, but it was meant to be a one-shot but sort of... evolved. Yay!
PS: Any ideas about what happened to Sasuke?