I suddenly got inspiration to write in a study hall and this is what happened. Enjoy! (Sorry if Todd is OC)
DISCLAIMER: I do not own Dead Poets Society
My steps are careful and slow as I move through the courtyard. As I walk, I watch. My eyes scan over everyone, stopping briefly on Charlie defiantly leaning against the wall, before landing on Neil strutting confidently across the square. A smile forms its way onto my face before I can stop it. "Too late," I think as he smiles back sending my heart into a frenzy and causing butterflies to erupt in my stomach. I find myself wondering if he ever gets nervous. He has a calming presence that contrasts his outgoing personality.
At first he scared me. I wasn't used to being around someone so full of energy and always talkative. He was always willing to lend a hand, and he even seemed to enjoy my quiet company. I have grown comfortable around him and it scares me. I had learned to shut myself off from the world. I've never been confident in myself around others, and the thoughts "worthless" and "never enough" have often run through my head. Except when I'm with Neil. He helps me be myself. I'm not afraid of being wrong around him because I know his teasing means nothing. Yet somehow, it means everything.
He has wormed his way into my life and now I cannot see how I lived before him. I guess I never realized I wasn't living until he walked through that door and straight into my life. All the little things he does drive me crazy and I wouldn't have it any other way. Acting is his hobby, although I know it could be his career. I want to help him as he has helped me. I desperately wish I could talk to his father, but I know I can't because I can barely talk to my own. Someday, I hope I can be his shoulder to cry on.
Mr. Keeting is saying that we shouldn't conform to go with the crowd. That we should be our own person and strive to be our best because we want to be our best. My walk is my own, as well as Neil's. Although I cannot take his worries away, cannot repay him for the things he has done for me, I will keep on marching. Sometimes, it's hard because I know he will never feel the same about me. He has other friends and other passions. But I will never stop loving him. Neil Perry is the reason I march.
He is the reason I live.