One shot. Comparison between life for Brendan and life for Steven. From birth up until their separation.
Before I start talking about this one shot itself, for anyone currently reading or following one of my other regular Fanfic's I do apologize for the lack of updates which have happened over the past few weeks. I've had exams since the start of June, so any free time has to be taken up by studying. I still have another two weeks to go yet, so I'm not sure I'll be able to update anything until the end of June. My apologies for that.
Right now onto this, I've had it prewritten for a while, just decided to edit it a little. Just wanted to do something a bit different really. I hope that this is not too confusing for you guys. The lines in italic are about Brendan, the lines in normal font are about Steven and the lines in bold are quotes, lyrics and lines.
The story basically follows the one in Hollyoaks. The only thing you need to know is that Brendan's mother dies when he reaches school and that's why he goes to live with Seamus. Anyway I hope you enjoy:
Little boy sits in a corner
Little boy is born in a white ward. He's placed on his mother's chest. She's his natural form of protection. He's safe upon her breast.
"A mother's love is forever; time, distance, hardship...all fall before the strength of her love."
Little boy is born on a carpet. He does not get any milk. His tiny nostrils fill with alcohol. And his bedding is starved of silk.
"Drink no longer water, but use a little wine for thy stomach's sake and thine often infirmities."
Little boy has a cot in a corner. His mother's tucked him in. The heating will keep him warm tonight. Even if this blanket's thin.
"Close your eyes and I'll close mine, now the moon begins to shine."
Little boy has a cot by the window. He does not have any sheets. Maybe the window will be left open. And the little mite will be left to freeze.
"Dream sweet dreams for me. Dream sweet dreams for you."
Little boy he cries at night. He is not left alone. His mother comes to comfort him. And sings a tune unknown.
"Over in Killarney,
Many years ago,
Me mither sang a song to me
In tones so sweet and low.
Just a simple little ditty,
In her good ould Irish way,
And I'd give the world if she could sing
That song to me this day."
Little boy he wakes at night. His mother doesn't care. His tears are cold and frosty. But she's so unaware.
"Wherever you will go, I will let you down, but this lullaby goes on."
Little boy is coaxed in a corner. This boy he learns to walk. Little boy he can say "Daddy" now. This little boy can talk.
"My first step is ones last."
Little boy is shook in a corner. This boy he falls asleep. And nine months later he awakes. Standing on his feet.
"Be what you are. This is the first step toward becoming better than you are."
Little boy he went to school today. His mother let him grow. Now he can count from one to five. And tell apart his fingers from his toes.
"I don't want to be a man. I want to be an angst-ridden teenager who can't confront his own inner demons and takes it out verbally on other people instead."
Little boy's first day of school went bad. His mother wasn't proud. She was glad to get a break from him. He was silly, needy, loud.
"He nods, as if to acknowledge that endings are almost always a little sad, even when there is something to look forward to on the other side."
Little boy lost his mummy today. But he also gained a Dad. He will miss her love, he will miss her hugs. This whole death thing is mad.
"Oft, in dreams I wander
To that cot again,
I feel her arms a huggin' me
As when she held me then.
And I hear her voice a humin'
To me as in days or yore,
When she used to rock me fast asleep
Outside the cabin door."
Little boy gained a Daddy today. His mother's met a guy. They like to chat and drink all night. And ignore him whilst he cries.
"For every new relationship, there's at least another new broken heart."
Little boy got a smack today. He's been a naughty boy. He cried when he fell over. And he broke one of his toys.
"Face down in the dirt he said, this doesn't hurt, he says I've finally had enough.."
Little boy received his first beating today. He was slapped right 'round the bum. He will not speak back to Terry again. Right now his backsides numb.
"But don't you know that each hit makes us stronger?"
Little boy he sits in a corner. His bottom end is bare. He will never act like a girl again. Next time he will not dare.
"I'd just lay there staring at the door, clocking the landing counting down, then the sound of your footsteps on the stairs."
Little boy sits in a corner. He will go hungry tonight. He knows that he's done wrong. And he cannot put it right.
"You shoot me down but I won't fall. I am titanium."
Little boy stopped wearing his cape today. He's no longer a kid. He will no longer lie to Daddy. He will no longer tell any fibs.
"The walls of my bedroom getting smaller and then you'd invite yourself in and I'd try to block it out."
Little boy he lost his tooth today. He got clapped around the mouth. He got caught in the middle of an argument. Got knocked seven bells to the south.
"I can still feel your breathe on my neck."
Little boy is black and blue today. He tried to be a man. He failed like he always does. But he tried the best he can.
"And I'd just stare through the curtains wanting to escape. Go overseas. Anywhere but there."
Little boy got taught a lesson today. He'll never understand the reasons. His act was hardly murder. Theft, adultery or treason.
"He can't hurt you anymore. He's just a sad old man who used to hit ya."
Little boy he got hurt today. He'll never understand the pain. Why is he such a messed up boy? Why has he gone so insane?
"You used to say it was our little secret, you told me that nobody could know and all I could do was think about what I did that was so wrong."
Little boy has a black eye today. The attack it lasted forever. He doesn't want mummy to love this man anymore. He doesn't like it when they're together.
"Love does nothing but hurt those involved and those around them."
Little boy slept on the floor last night. His legs were far too weak. The blow was far too strong for him. And that makes him a freak.
"It's not why I'm gay. It's why I'm a freak."
Little boy was locked outside last night. No one would let him in. They left him outside in the rain. With a bloodied nose and bloodied shin.
"Then the rain came and washed away my pain."
Little boy he tried a fag today. His Da thinks he should smoke. He knows this will make him seem big. But the thing caused him to choke.
"We are in this situation because of you so please, I am begging you tell me, why me?"
Little boy he tried some drink today. One shot and a half. He didn't like the taste though. So Daddy Terry laughed.
"I wanna be drunk when I wake up. On the right side of the wrong bed."
Little boy cheated on his girl today. Slept with somebody else. This leaves him in the middle of nowhere. He's dust upon an empty shelf.
"And I know that she knows I'm unfaithful and it kills her inside. To know that I am happy with some other guy. I can see her dying."
Little boy he hit his girl today. He knows that it was wrong. He does not feel for her though. They just do not belong.
"Maybe I didn't love you quite as often as I could have.
Maybe I didn't treat you quite as good as I should have."
Little boy he works in a club. He likes to dish out drink. Some of them he'll down himself. He needs the time to think.
"I'll drown my sorrows but time is the greatest healer."
Little boy he works in a deli. He likes to dish out food. One of his customers loves jam. This guy puts him in a good mood.
"Funny you're the broken one but I'm the only one who needed saving."
Little boy he knocked a man today. He asked to be alone. He does not care if it caused him pain. Or if he broke a bone.
"I can protect you from everybody else but I cannot protect you from myself."
Little boy he developed a crush today. He pecked somebody new. He thinks this guy is gorgeous. And perfect through and through.
"Take my hand. Take my whole life too. But I can't help falling in love with you."
Little boy touched a man today. In places they should not. The feeling was too passionate. The atmosphere too hot.
"Just gonna stand there and watch me burn? But that's alright because I like the way it hurts."
Little boy he got punched today. In the rib and in the face. He was told he was disgusting. He was told he was a disgrace.
"You disgust me."
"Love may break your heart,
But it's not supposed to hurt,
No one deserves those kind of scars."
Little boy is a queer today. The feeling makes him sick. Why would he want to kiss a male? And touch them on their dick.
"Sometimes it's hard to follow your heart. Tears don't mean you're losing, everybody's bruising. Just be true to who you are."
Little boy fell in love today. A certain attraction occurred. He loves this man with all his heart. His future here is bright, no longer blurred.
"I hope life treats you kind and I hope you have all you've dreamed of. And I wish you joy and happiness but above all this I wish you love. And I will always love you."
Little boy he killed somebody today. The fucker insulted his love. He doesn't care what the consequence. He's just glad to get rid of.
"I came to you because I needed help. I came to you because I wanted to be a better man and this? You give me this as my reward? Which begs the question whose side are you on? All I ever wanted to do was to protect the people I love."
Little boy he married someone today. A fella who's called Doug. He doesn't want this man though. He wants the other drug.
"I take you to be my civil partner under law. I make this pledge freely, with honesty and sincerity and with a commitment that will grow deeper and stronger as the years pass."
Little boy he nearly lost the man. The man who means the world. He leaves him alone in his bed. He's crippled and he's curled.
"Let Steven live. If you let Steven live then you'll have my word I'll leave him alone. Do what you want with me. I'll put his life in your hands and I'll put my faith in a punch line. Because if I can't be around to protect those I love then I need to know. I need you to tell me."
Little boy chased his man today. He met him upon the bridge. He's gonna empty him out tonight. Empty his juices like a fridge.
"Why are you here?"
"Because I love ye. Because I can't live my life without ye."
Little boy got caught up today. The happy ending will have to wait. He will never be with his love again. He knows that it's too late.
"Well it's too late tonight, to drag the past out into the light. We're one but we're not the same. Well we hurt each other and we're doing it again.
Little boy watched his life go. Now everything has changed. He will never be the same again. Not now that they're estranged.
"When you said your last goodbye, I died a little bit inside. I lay in tears in bed at night, alone without you by my side."
Little boy sits in the corner. The corner of a cell. He hates this place he lives now. He hates being here in hell.
"I just feel like the walls are closing in and I can't get sent down for something I didn't do again, that can't happen."
Little boy sits in a corner. His head buried in his knees. On his back a hoodie. He sets his demons free.
"Cause you brought out the best of me. A part of me I'd never seen. You took my soul and wiped it clean. Our love was made for movie screens."
Little boy he made his path today. The journey to adulthood. He hopes to live again someday. A life he never could.
"The son shall not suffer for the iniquity of the father, nor shall the father suffer for the iniquity of the son. In the next life Steven."
Little boy he made his way today. This boy grew into a man. He still remains in the corner though. And he'll remain there for lifespan.
"What about you?"
"It doesn't matter about me, 'cause I'm always gonna love him."
And after today we get our happy ever after..
"Love can touch us one time and last for a lifetime and never let go till we're gone."
Thank you for reading. As you probably know I do not take any credit for most of the quotes used, a couple are made up but the majority are from the internet, songs and some are from the show.