"Hey, Santana! Why don't you just come out of the closet?"
She rocked back on her right heel as the words hit their mark. Her body tensed up and the verbal assault continued behind her.
"You know, I think I know why you're so good at tearing everybody else down. It's because you're constantly tearing yourself down because you can't admit to everybody that you're in love with Brittany and she might not love you back."
Every normal instinct she had to retaliate was nonexistent in that moment. A wave of shame coursed through her as she tried to force herself to move. She was surrounded by people in the crowded hallway but not a single face of hope appeared. Brittany's words echoed in her mind. "I do love you! Clearly you don't love you as much as I do." Finn's voice was getting closer with each statement but she didn't turn to face him.
"That must hurt not being able to admit to everyone how you really feel."
Brittany invaded her thoughts again. "They don't know what you're hiding. They just know that you're not being yourself."She had never felt so alone. Her world was spiraling out of her control in a matter of seconds. Her face was burning and her stomach was violently flipping.
"You know what I think you are? A coward."
He was close enough to experience her wrath. She gauged that easily. But her body wasn't cooperating. Her survival instinct wasn't kicking in. She was paralyzed in agony. Brittany. It was all that she could think of. She had spent so many years thinking herself the protector but now, at her lowest point, she realized how much Brittany really meant to her. She understood how strong of a shield Brittany's love had always been. In that moment, it was clear to her that the special place where Brittany lived, Santana had resided in as well. And she had just been forcefully evicted from it by Finn.
"See you at the mash off."
She finally released the breath she had been unconsciously holding as he retreated.
Santana.
Santana.
I love you, Santana. I love you more than I've ever loved anyone else in this world.
She knew there was no one calling her name. She knew there was no one coming to her rescue. She knew that nothing would ever be the same again.