AN: Like alot of people are doing, I wrote this in response to Chapter 334, (the saddest chapter ever! D:) It's a just a little thought I had about something I thought maybe would happen if Gray is in fact (pleaseomgnooooo)

'3 years. Had it really been that long?' Juvia wondered as she lay in bed, her blue hair splayed out on her pillow. She glanced at the date on the calendar and quickly turned away. It had been 3 years...but it was something Juvia worked to forget about everyday. It haunted her in her dreams, it haunted her when she was awake. She had considered leaving Fairy Tail, but Lucy and Levy had begged her to stay.

She wasn't meant to be alive. This wasn't the life she was supposed to be living. She held her hand over her heart and willed herself not to cry. It had been 3 years and it had taken all of those 3 years to help her forget. She rolled over and kicked her feet over the edge of her bed. She slowly forced herself to get ready for the day. Though Juvia knew the date, it really wasn't any different from any day in the past few years. Juvia was the hollow shell of a woman, because although he had saved her, she had actually died. Occasionally she could hear her heart beating its steady rhythm and that helped Juvia lie to herself. Lie to herself that she was alive.

It was raining, as Juvia walked to the guild when suddenly she stopped. She couldn't bring herself to actually go to the guild on this day. She knew what would happen. Everyone would stare at her. Everyone would stare and ask if she was ok, but really they'd be blaming her. If Juvia the rain-woman wasn't here, maybe he would be. Her umbrella fell from her hands and she covered her eyes with her hands. The rain fell harder, rushing through her blue locks, running down her bare arms, soaking her dress, but she didn't seem to notice or care. She sank to her knees and now she knew people were staring at her, but she couldn't stop.

"Juvia," she heard the voice in the distance but she couldn't tell if it was coming from the deep parts of her mind or if it was in her reality. "Juvia!" The voice belonged to a woman. Juvia blinked into her fingers and finally tilted her head up to see Erza standing in front of her.

"E-Erza-san?" she whispered. The armored woman outstretched her hand to the blue haired girl and Juvia slowly reached out to grasp it.

"What are you doing out here like this?" Erza asked quietly, though it didn't take much for the red-haired woman to guess what had happened.

"Juvia was...Juvia was going to Fairy Tail..." she mumbled. Erza picked up the woman's umbrella and handed it to Juvia.

"Do you want me to walk you home?" Erza offered and Juvia just slowly nodded. The two walked in silence. Juvia had never felt close to Erza and after the incident, she especially shied away from getting to know the Queen. She was dead inside, so she could only imagine what Erza felt, losing her best friend and it was all Juvia's fault.

"Juvia really...wanted to try today...It's been 3 years, she should be able to handle it."

"No one expects you to handle anything," Erza said. Juvia tightened her grip on the umbrella's handle.

"It's been 3 years."

"It doesn't really matter...how long it's been," Erza said, as the two made it to Juvia's apartment.

"Ju-Juvia really loved him. She really really did," she said before making her way back inside. Erza bit her lip. "Juvia is sorry Erza-san, she knows...you are hurting too," she said. Erza pulled the girl into a hug.

"No one blames you. No one. We just want you to be okay," she said.

"It's Juvia's fault..." she whispered.

"Everyone knows you think that, but everyone knows it's not true." Erza said. "We were all close to him. We just want you to be ok. He would want you to be ok," she whispered. Juvia caught her breath. She knew Erza was right and she began to hear her heart pound in her ears. Her biggest lie, taunting her with every beat.

"Juvia better go now," she said stepping into her house. "Juvia appreciates Erza-san walking her home. Thank you." Erza nodded her head once.

"It wasn't a problem. We're all here for you Juvia." Juvia thanked Erza once again and shut the door. She leaned her back against the wooden frame, closing her eyes. Sometimes when she shut her eyes, she could remember the scene so clearly, like it was a play she had seen performed yesterday. She sometimes could feel his strong hand push her out of the way. She sometimes could hear herself shrieking his name. She shook herself, shaking water out of her face, her stomach grumbling a bit.

He would want you to be ok. Erza's voice taunted Juvia. If he had really wanted her to be ok, he would've let her take the beam instead. She shook the thought from her mind. It had been almost 2 years since she had thought such dark thoughts. She had spent days and days moving past herself, but even so, the thoughts would every so often creep back into her mind, especially on a day like today. She shook her head quickly and made her way to the kitchen.

Glancing at the calendar she sighed once again, it had been a while since she'd visited his memorial. It was still raining, but Juvia thought she could probably make her way outside again if she knew she was going to be alone. Away from the judgmental faces, the faces filled with pity and sadness. With new determination, she turned on her stove and began cooking. Juvia was a rain-woman, so eating in the rain wouldn't be a problem for her. She had never gone to visit him on this day, but it had been 3 years, so Juvia thought that maybe it was time. She couldn't make it to Fairy Tail, but she could try her very best to make to his grave alone, not that she ever went with other people.

She tied up her lunch box and picked up her umbrella and once more made her way into the rainy world. She cleared her mind as she desperately tried to hear anything but the sounds of that day. She focused on the rain, the pitter patter against her umbrella. The drip drip drops as it slid off the fabric and landed on the ground by her feet. It wasn't the most uplifting thoughts but it kept her mind occupied. She approached his memorial and quickly knelt in front of it paying her respects. She took a deep breath as she felt the wet ground seep through her tights to her skin.

"Juvia is sorry," she whispered. "She is trying really hard to not be alone in this. She's trying really hard to smile for you." She clasped her hands together. The air was damp as the rain washed into her hair. She stood up and placed her hand on the stone. "Juvia just...wants to be close to you again," she said.

"What's a pretty girl like you doing out here without an umbrella to keep her dry?" A voice called out from behind her. She blinked a few times, it had been a while since she'd heard that voice, she slowly turned around, hoping her tears would blend with the rain.

"L-Lyon-sama," she whispered.

"Hi Juvia-chan," he said and slowly approached her, holding his umbrella over her head.

"I-It's ok. Juvia has one," she said point on the ground next to her.

"Why aren't you using it?" he asked softly. "I hate to see you ruining your dress."

"It's ok, Juvia is water, this isn't really a problem for her," she shrugged. Lyon dropped his umbrella and pulled the blue-haired mage into a hug.

"It's really good to see you," he whispered. Juvia, taken aback, slowly brought her arms around the older ice mage.

"It's good to see Lyon-sama, too," she said softly. "What are you doing here?" she asked.

"I came to pay my respect to my...brother," he said slowly and pulled away from their hug. "It's been almost 2 years since I've been here. How...are you doing?" he asked, nervous to hear her answer.

"Juvia is..." she paused and looked at Lyon. He looked older and more stressed, as the water ran down his face, soaking his white locks. She didn't know how to answer him, anything she said would be a lie.

"Yes?" he said, urging her on.

"Juvia just...is," she admitted finally.

"I sort of...figured," he whispered. "Would you like...to get some coffee and dry off?" he asked, holding his hand out to her. She slowly placed her hand in his; it was cold, which she expected, but he clasped her hand tight.

"There's a place right by Juvia's apartment," she said. She had moved out of Fairy Hills for she had been too ashamed to stay there with her guildmates. Juvia led the way with Lyon to the cafe by her place. She was quiet for the majority of the time, but Lyon just wanted to see her smile, though he understood why she wasn't. He wondered if she had smiled in the past three years. The two took their seats inside and ordered warm drinks.

"Fairy Tail has been quiet," Lyon teased. "Not stirring up any trouble lately."

"It's for the best," she said.

"Don't tell me you guys have lost that Fairy Tail spirit," he said leaning back and folding his arms.

"Juvia doesn't have much of a spirit," she said. Lyon frowned.

"You know Juvia," he said addressing her informally. "He wouldn't have wanted this. This was not his intention." Juvia's eyes began to well up with tears. She had been legitimately doing better until Lyon had showed up. Everything about him reminded Juvia of him. His smell, his attitude, the way his hands were cold from the ice they could create, they were more similar than they had cared to admit. "He would want you to be happy," Lyon choked out finally. "I want you...to be happy."

He would want you to be ok. Juvia heard Erza's words once more. She furrowed her brow and stood up abruptly, slamming the table.

"What does Lyon-sama know?! What does Erza-san know?! No one knows what he wanted!" Her deep eyes flashed with anger. "Lyon-sama practically hated him! So what right..." she whispered. Lyon stood up to look at her. "So what right do you have," she whispered finally.

"Hey, Juvia, I didn't mean to upset you! I cared about him too, I admit it! It's just different when you're practically brothers….rivals...it's just...different," he murmured. Tears began to fall down her face and she whipped her head around, noticing the pity stares again.

"Juvia is sorry Lyon-sama," she said and she turned, running out of the cafe, leaving Lyon standing, alone.

She ran down the street and pulled out her key, her hands shaking. She desperately tried to steady her hand, but her chest was heaving as she tried to stop herself from having a panic attack. How could she say such awful things to Lyon? He was going through this just as much as she was. Beside Lyon had known him longer...of course Lyon was in pain. He was in pain too. She let a sob escape her lips as she continued to try and steady the key. Suddenly a hand covered hers, sliding the key in the slot.

"Lyon-sama?" she said quietly. "Why did you follow Juvia after she said such...terrible things to you?" she asked. He pushed the door open and the two walked inside to her small apartment.

"I know you didn't mean them. You're in pain," he shrugged. "I get it."

"Juvia is sorry, it wasn't fair of her...to say those things," she said and turned away from him.

"It's really fine," he said. "Like I said, I get it. I miss him too. I mean we were rivals, but we grew up together..." Juvia just nodded and allowed the tears to fall from her eyes. "Juvia...how are you really?" he asked softly, now that they were alone in the privacy of her apartment. She began shaking. She wrapped her arms around herself.

"Juvia is...Juvia is not okay," she said and buried her face in her hands. Lyon wrapped his arms around her.

"I know. You're a pretty terrible liar." Juvia laughed a bit between her sobs. Lyon smiled. "You laughed!" he said happily. "I...I love your laugh," he whispered in her ear. Juvia rest her head on Lyon's shoulder. It was so safe and familiar.

"Juvia is sorry," she said. "She wants to be strong. It's been 3 years, but it's so...difficult," she whispered.

"You don't have to be anything." Lyon hugged her tighter and squeezed his eyes shut. "I love you, Juvia. I love you so much. I always have," he said. Juvia gasped, it wasn't new information, but hearing it again, threw her off guard.

"Juvia knows," she said finally, a few more tears falling down her face. Lyon pulled back and wiped her tears from her cheeks. She closed her eyes feeling his cold fingers lightly brush her cheeks. He leaned in and brushed his lips against hers. She blinked a few times, surprised by the movement, but she couldn't bring herself to stop him. His lips were so soft and Juvia felt comfortable for the first time in years. He kissed her again, with a bit more force, she whimpered against his lips and the two fell back on her rug. She linked her hands around his neck. She closed her eyes and imagined she was kissing him. It had been a while since she'd had thoughts like that, they had pretty much stopped after that day. She had never had the chance to experience anything like this with him.

"Juvia...I'm sorry," Lyon pulled back, but Juvia tugged his neck down.

"It's ok. Juvia wants Lyon-sama to keep going," she whispered against his lips. Lyon groaned a bit, imaging touching her, it was something he had dreamed about for a long time and now that it was actually happening, he wasn't sure if it felt right. They were both emotional.

"Juvia...I don't know if thats a smart idea..." he mumbled, sighing. She ran a hand through his damp hair.

"Please?" she whispered and Lyon couldn't hold himself back once she asked. He brought his lips to meet hers one more time with more force. Even when she was crying she looked so beautiful to him. He pulled back long enough to stand up and she pulled him to the bedroom. He kissed her once more pushing her to the bed. He knew this was wrong; as much as his heart belonged to her, her heart did not belong to him. Even after 3 years, nothing had changed and he knew that in the next 3 years nothing would change again, but as long as he had this moment, he couldn't complain.

He kissed her again, hovering his body over hers and he ran his hands down her arm, slipping the strap of her dress off. His hands felt so familiar to her and she kissed him back, bringing her tongue to his mouth with desperation. She finally felt some form of happiness and she wasn't about to let that go. She pushed his jacket off and he took his shirt off as she slid out of her dress, leaving her in only her bra and panties. She ran her hand down his chest and hovered over his Lamia Scale mark. His Fairy Tail one had been in the same place, she ran her hands over the rest of Lyon's chest and she closed her eyes, remembering the holes on his body. She whimpered and turned her head away.

"Juvia?" Lyon whispered. "We don't have to…"

"No!" Her eyes snapped opened. "It's ok," she swallowed. "It's ok." She ran her hand along his concerned face. She pulled his neck down and kissed him again. Lyon began to kiss her neck and yanked her bra off, fondling her breasts. Her stomach dropped as he fondled her chest. She moaned and pressed her chest into his hands. She could hear her heart pounding again and she ignored the lie as she fell into the feeling she was feeling in her lower body. Lyon slid his hand inside her panties and brought fingers inside of her. The mixture of her warmth and his cold fingers hit Juvia intensely and she moaned loudly.

"Lyon-sama!" she practically screamed. Lyon became so focused on pleasing her, nothing else mattered. His own throbbing pleasure didn't matter, the rain outside didn't matter, the date didn't matter…he was so focused on her and everything about her body movements. She moved her hips against his fingers. He slid off her panties to give himself more access. Juvia gripped the sheets tightly. She moaned feeling incredible, Juvia was convinced she had never felt this good. Lyon pulled out and Juvia whimpered.

"Don't stop," she begged. He hovered over her.

"I wasn't going to," he kissed her once again and looked at the woman underneath him. He wanted her so terribly. He had wanted her so terribly for so long and he was finally going to have her. "You're beautiful," he said. Juvia blushed and brought her hands around her breasts as she noticed Lyon staring at her. "Don't!" he said and pulled her hands away. "I mean it." Juvia didn't feel beautiful. Her face was splotched from crying and she felt guilty thinking about him, while Lyon was making her feel the most she had felt in 3 years.

"Juvia doesn't deserve Lyon-sama's love," she whispered. Lyon slid his own pants off, lying naked with her.

"Juvia deserves all the love, whether it be mine or anyone else's," he whispered against her neck. She started to cry.

"Juvia must not be very sexy right now," she said and Lyon wiped tears from her eyes.

"Juvia, you're always sexy to me," he said and kissed her once again. "You always have been, always will be," he said against her lips.

"Thank you, Lyon-sama," she whispered wrapping her arms around his back. He pressed his hard tip against her entrance.

"Is it ok…if I?" he asked timidly and she nodded.

"it's been a long time though, Juvia hasn't…in awhile," she said. He nodded and slowly began to enter her. She screamed out, feeling him stretch her, more tears leaking from her eyes, it hurt, but it paled in comparison to the pain she'd felt lately. She dug her nails into his back as he filled her slowly.

"I'm sorry," he whispered kissing her cheek.

"It's ok," she breathed, happy to be feeling anything. He continued to push himself fully into her and her hips raised as she got used to feeling him inside. Lyon groaned against her neck, desperately trying to hold himself back. It had been awhile for him as well and being with Juvia was better than he had ever expected. She was so warm around him, so wet. It was perfect. He began to move slowly, pumping into her. She could feel herself throbbing around him.

"Juvia," he moaned. "You're perfect," he said and kissed her neck, his hot breath against her skin. The two moved together, it was slow and emotional. Juvia had to hold back her tears and she felt him moving inside her. And whether Lyon wanted to admit it, it was the first time in a while that he had really felt anything either. Juvia hadn't expected to feel so connected to Lyon. She had always sort of laughed at the love triangle between Lyon, her and him, like it was something out of a stage play. She never expected to ever be with Lyon, to ever experience such a connection with him.

"Lyon-sama," she breathed out as he slowly moved into her deeper. She wrapped her arms around his back, holding on tightly, hoping to never let go of him. She finally had found comfort with someone and not just alone. They moved in rhythm together, feeling each others' sadness. She gripped his hair as she felt her legs twitch and he groaned into her neck sensually. The two finished almost simultaneously and Lyon pressed himself against her.

"I'll never leave you," he promised. "If you want me, I will stay with you forever." Juvia had never loved Lyon the way he loved her. She probably would never love Lyon the way he loved her, but for the first time in the past 3 years, she didn't feel alone.

"Stay with Juvia," she whispered. She couldn't tell him she wanted him to stay forever because she didn't think that would be fair, but for right now, she would be his. He wrapped his arms around her waist, lying beside her. She heard her heart in ears and for once she believed the lie that she was alive.

AN: I sort of really like how this turned out, I don't really ship Lyvia all that much, totally a Gruvia fan all the way, but I could just picture this happening. Anyway thank you for reading and I hope you enjoyed :)