Author's Note:

I bought TOZ last year on sale for £8 and liked it enough to write something for it. This is a short but, hopefully, decent read, and I felt like reposting it here from my AO3 acc.

*based on the 'Statue of a Noble King' skit in the haunted Dumnonia museum; first half of the skit is included for context.

PS. If anyone's interested, Edna was my favourite to fight with.

In the midst of a town suffocating under a heavy malevolent epidemic, in one of the many identical rooms of the supposedly 'haunted' museum laden with cobwebs and bugs, a moment is spared to ogle at a bodiless statue. Just the replication of a man carved in stone has the girls chattering among themselves with effort, passing around their opinions.

Lailah says, "This statue, it radiates such dignity."

Alisha, ever the respectable Princess, acknowledges, "You can tell from his expression that he must've been a great warrior."

A great consensus will be inclined to agree with the two of them as their thoughts happen to reflect what scholars likely preach to the precocious and curious minds of their students. Relatively appropriate; in all manners, entirely innocent. Alisha admires the statue as the depiction of the 'ideal male body': muscular through extensive training, the blood, sweat and tears evident in the crevices.

And Edna, much older than she appears and no less shy, includes, "A fine man. I would like to see his entire body."

"Oh!" Alisha's face heats up, "But...but wouldn't he be…"

Lailah holds her face, also blushing, "More or less naked?"

"That's what makes him attractive," Edna answers. "In an aesthetic sense."

To save herself from more shame by her impropriety, Alisha openly admits that a warrior's body is definitely pleasing to the eyes. How is it not? The scars and toned muscle are the tales of hard work and countless battles. But she says so factually, a tad shy of honestly expressing that she, like most women, finds personal pleasure in a man's bare physique. As a Knight, she forgets she can stand to be (as Lailah puts it) 'ladylike' and that, while it often overshadows her being a Princess, traveling alongside a young man has invited naysayers to spread farce stories about their involvement with each other.

"Wow." Mikelo's says, unimpressed. "Settle down, it's just a statue."

"Seriously. But," Sorey puts on his thoughtful face, eyes up and a hand mimicking a gun under his chin. "It's true King Claudin epitomises the warrior ideal."

"Hold on. It's King Meliodas, right?"

"That wouldn't match the style at all."

"It's carved in speculation of the style of future generations."

They get into one of their brief arguments, Sorey claiming that's a far-fetched interpretation while Mikleo accuses him of being 'trapped' in his stereotypical perception. It looks like they're about to take it to eleven, suggesting they reevaluate the route of their dispute: assess the statue piece by piece for clues in its features.

As if they honestly have the time.

Edna mockingly iterates, "Wow. Settle down, it's just a statue."

"Seriously." Alisha and Lailah say, no more impressed than the boys weren't with them earlier.

Mikleo's impatience inclines him to lecture, "Excuse me but this is an in depth discussion on a mantle of history that's shaped our present timeline!"

"Good grief." Edna sighs. "You're this riled up about a naked statue, I wonder how you'd react to a real mantle of history." Mischief gleams across her eyes. In her unenergised disposition, she kicks up her umbrella with the tip of her boot, catches it in its spin and points it at the world's latest saviour. "Take off your shirt, Sorey."

"Edna?!" Alisha exclaims, scandalised.

"Oh my, Edna, you're certainly bold!" Lailah comments.

Edna's blunt, put simply. Rather than be embarrassed by her own forwardness, she finds and exploits opportunities in the expectedly shocked reactions of others to tease them mercilessly—one of her hobbies. And with how devastating the world is becoming, no one can really waste what might be their final days being mindful of people. Humans are idiotic and selfish like that. "I'm resolving this so we can move on with our lives." As uneventful as some lives—Mikleo's—may be with little to no excitement or action for them to want to get out of bed for every morning.

"Well it's as they say: nothing ventured is nothing gained."

Sorey stares at her with an uncertain smile, "That's not a reasonable way to defend what she's saying..."

"Exactly." Mikleo crosses his arms conclusively. "This is a waste of time."

While it's true they ought to be moving on, surveying the rest of the museum for the source of the town's malevolent epidemic before it's too late, he simultaneously hopes to interfere with the disruption of his memories. Their likelihood of being warped and stripping innocence away from his recollection. Sorey's unclothed upper-body in an Elysian lake all of a sudden gleaming, being generously blessed by sunlight. An embellished memory now; it's a fantasy! Without a doubt, he's more physically endowed from when they left Elysia and now, thanks to Edna, his closest friend is being lead to inappropriately wonder 'by how much'?

Edna twirls her umbrella behind her, "You didn't think arguing over the statue's base model was a waste of time, Meebo."

"Of all the tasks at hand here, encouraging The Shepherd to strip isn't one of them!"

"Of all the things you're pretending you're indifferent about, seeing The Shepherd half-naked is one of them."

"What?! That's...!" Mikleo's mouth glitches open and closed, unresolved on what to say next. Trying to best Edna with words alone has a tendency to leave even one as knowledgable as he speechless. She's unorthodox, and this is coming from someone whose best friend drew a powerful sword on impulse! "Ugh! You're unbelievable!"

"Do you dislike Sorey shirtless?"

"Stop it!"

"No one's asking you to jump him. I'm asking if you find half-naked Sorey aesthetically pleasing?" Because when all is said and done and Sorey ideally purifies the world of all the malevolence, there'll be lots of paintings and sculptures of him being ogled at and discussed. Jokes aside, on a relative level, this isn't any different; it'll be more art to inspire the next generation.

"Can we not talk about me like I'm not here?" Sorey asks. When he decided he'd taken on the role of The Shepherd, be a positive beacon and do great things to help people, he hadn't also signed up to be objectified. Not to say he personally hates it but there's a Drake to slay and a town to save. So really, now isn't the time for their silly dynamic. "And, Mikleo, don't get so worked up. You're the one who told Alisha not to take Edna seriously."

"He's right. Plus we have a lot of work to do, everyone." Lailah includes in the hopes of refocusing on their mission, presenting the responsibility and reliability she's shown to possess alongside being so spirited and carefree. "We're in a supposedly haunted museum in a plagued town with no clear idea on where the malevolence is coming from. Well begun is half done, as they say."

Alisha nods, "Exactly. And it's only a matter of time before they come looking for us."

"Make hay while the sun shines!"

"Er, right." The girls stick together and carry on to the next room that leads out to a stretched hallway with a door at the end. Heading to it, they make idle chit-chat—thankfully on a different topic.

Mikleo nudges an elbow into Sorey, "Why didn't you say anything back then?!"

"Edna was joking." Sorey hopes she was, at least. With her, he's never entirely sure where her seriousness stops and her jokes begin; they entwine and blend in her apathetic-tone, and then it's anyone's guess, which has to be better than his.

"I know that but just standing there, not saying a word, would make anyone think you were keen on the idea!"

"You're right. I'll deal with it better next time."

"Next time?!"

Sorey sighs.

Seeing the fatigue in the way Sorey's body has started swaying lately, him nearly blacking out, as well as the exhaustion in his face for someone so young, Mikleo feels guilty for piling more trouble on. He knows Sorey's doing his best with what he can do; he knows he's taking being The Shepherd very seriously, as inexperienced and in over his head as he unfortunately is. "Actually, never-mind. I lost my head for a minute there. Sorry."

Sorey gives him an appreciative shoulder-pat, "Don't sweat it. Besides," He pushes that hand against Mikleo's chest like whenever they're being playful together, only this time he adds a suggestive wink. "You've already seen me without a shirt on, so you can shut them up a lot faster with an anecdote."

"H-Huh?!"

"What I'm saying, Mikleo, is the only person here who's seen me half-naked—"

"S-Sorey!" Mikleo hisses to keep him quiet to avoid the girls hearing, but also begs because he can't take anymore.

"Is you." Sorey taps a finger to Mikleo's nose and laughs at how his wide eyes blink erratically. As cruel at it sounds, he's just too easy, and cute, to tease sometimes. He sort of gets why Edna does it all the time. "If it'll get everyone back on track, you can tell them. I don't really care but at least you have my permission." His hands go to his hips and his head holds high like his word, his explicit permission to be 'objectified', is as admirable as purifying malevolent beings.

Mikleo blushes hard and shoves him away at arm's length "You're impossible!"

Sorey grins and stands in that admirable pose again, "I dunno, Mikleo. Humans can see me, can't they?"

"Keep it up, Sorey, and they won't be able to for much longer!"

"Boys," Lailah calls from further ahead, her pleasant voice traveling between the distance. "I sense strong malevolence in the next room."

"We're coming!" Mikleo answers and he and Sorey make their way to them. Under his breath but loud enough he asks, "So do we have a plan?"

Sorey smiles, "I figure we go all out like usual. You and Lailah give ranged support while Alisha, Edna and I make them sweat."

"It's good enough for now, I suppose. Just don't be reckless."

Edna mumbles to herself, "Make em sweat. So they'll take off their shirts. Right?"

"Will you knock it off?!"