I Don't Sleep

By zeilfanaat

Category: General

Ratings: G or K

Disclaimer: Neither NCIS nor NCIS: Los Angeles is mine. No infringement intended. Any characters that are not from the series or movies are mine.

Spoilers: NCIS – 6x22/23 Legend, part 1 and 2; 14x01 Rogue; NCIS: Los Angeles – 1x07 Pushback. (But really, it's mostly stuff regarding the characters, not the cases, so if you read fan fiction, chances are, you know these things already. Send me a message if you're worried; we can check to make sure it's spoiler-free for you.)

Summary: Gibbs considers Torres. The young man reminds him of another undercover specialist.

A/N: See note at the end of the story. I wrote this story nearly a year ago, but wanted to check some things. Recently started watching NCIS: Los Angeles again. Finally figured I'd go ahead and post this story. Not beta-read, so let me know if there are any mistakes.

A/N2: I haven't seen all of the episodes of either NCIS or NCIS: Los Angeles. For NCIS, I have seen random episodes from throughout the entire series, so I'm not worried for spoilers here. As for NCIS: Los Angeles, I am halfway through Season 2 and have seen episodes from Season 8. I'm trying to stay away from spoilers myself for this series though.

Finished: May 19, 2018 | Published: March 3, 2019

Special Agent Nick Torres.

Gibbs hadn't known the young man for long, but he liked the guy. Sure, Torres frustrated him occasionally, but the man was good at what he did. And he amused him often enough as well to make up for the frustration. Upon meeting the Latino for the first time, Gibbs had somehow known he'd found his second new team member. (He'd already found the first; she just hadn't caught on yet at the time.) Still, he'd taken the time to get a good measure of the young undercover specialist. His gut told him to trust the man, and Gibbs trusted his gut. But he also liked confirmation of its validity. He was a trained investigator after all; he always looked for evidence.

It wasn't until Torres was at his house that Gibbs had found one of the reasons his gut told him to trust Torres. It was recognition.

"Guest bed's on the right, down the stairs," Gibbs had said.

"I don't sleep," had been the reply.

Yeah, that had rung a bell. And not just with Gibbs. His mind had immediately started drawing parallels, once more hearing Quinn's voice as she summed up Torres' qualifications for undercover work.

"He was unattached, he was persuasive, he was clever. Bit unstable."

Vance's proclamation that Torres was one of their best undercover agents really should have prompted Gibbs' mind to connect the dots straight away. Later in Leon's office, as Gibbs learnt more about Torres, he couldn't help but be reminded of that other man once more, mentally filling in the corresponding blanks as Nick listed the reasons for why he wanted to go off-book.

"A broken family, a lifetime of lies."

'Unknown family, a life submerged in lies,' Gibbs' mind had provided.

"16 different names, 16 different home addresses."

'Countless aliases, 37 foster homes, and a multitude of temporary addresses.'

"I don't even know what I want anymore. I don't even know who I can trust."

The trust issues too were familiar. But what had made Gibbs focus on the young man in front of him was the admission made before that. "I don't know what I want anymore."

Yes, Torres was a little lost at the moment. Which was why he needed to spend some time in his own skin, as Nicholas Torres, NCIS Agent. Before the man truly lost his connection to who he really was.

Gibbs knew what it was to go rogue, what it was to be deep undercover. Though even he hadn't done two fulltime years as one undercover identity. Callen might have. And even if he hadn't, Gibbs sometimes wondered if the other man simply lived under the alias of his own name – whatever that was. Still, Gibbs recognised it in Torres; that vibe, that look. That vulnerability, covered up, buried under years of being someone else.

Torres at least knew where he came from; he knew his family. He may not have a wife or kids, but he had his sister and his niece. He may not quite know anymore who Nicholas Torres really was anymore, but at least he had a name he knew was his.

Gibbs shook his head in thought. Apparently he was collecting strays. How many times had his house doubled as the crash-site for his various team members? For Senior? For Tobias? For Callen? Now Torres.

Well, at least Torres hadn't taken apart any kitchen appliances.

Gibbs huffed, reminded of a time when Callen had stayed over for a few days. His toaster had been reduced to its bare bones, before deftly being put together again. Gibbs had even seen the younger man eye the antique TV, but Gibbs' glare had had him switching to something more familiar. Well, temporarily. Gibbs knew that if Callen had been forced to stay for an extended period of time, even Gibbs' glare wouldn't have kept his TV safe. In all honesty, Gibbs didn't care, as long as it worked again the next day. Still, after having found out that Callen practiced his languages when he didn't sleep, Gibbs would tell him to just come join him in the basement. It did wonders for his own somewhat rusty Russian. It had been a while. He taught the younger man about woodworking – in Russian of course – and Callen had picked it up readily enough. He hardly ever let an opportunity pass to learn a new skill. After all, you never knew when it could save your life.

Gibbs hadn't been able to get Callen to join his team that time, or any other time for that matter. The man had been too much of a loner still, even if he did consider Gibbs family. So Gibbs did what he could, and provided a safe place to crash. Trust issues were difficult to deal with on a long distance basis, so Gibbs had resigned himself to just be there if and when the other man needed him or his house.

Torres however, was right here. And even though he spoke of only sticking around while his sister needed help with Amanda while Lucia recovered, Gibbs had seen something in Torres that he hadn't in Callen back then. A chance.

As much as Torres and Callen were alike, they were definitely their own person as well. Despite being a talented undercover agent, Torres hadn't lost touch with his carefree nature. Gibbs wasn't sure Callen had ever learnt the meaning of the word. Callen's walls had round-the-clock protection details; Torres had built walls, but had left the backdoor open, if only you cared to look for it.

Yes, the Latino might have the tendency to go rogue, but Gibbs knew he could deal with that. Because he'd seen that, even if Torres might never have been part of a team, he desperately needed to be. Longed for it even, despite not acknowledging that part of himself.

Torres was not quite as far gone as Callen had been. And, Gibbs thought contentedly, even Callen had a team now that he – mostly – relied on. There was hope for Torres yet. Gibbs hoped that his team could give the young undercover agent the safe harbour he needed to rediscover who he was. If not, well, he could always send Torres to Los Angeles. See how Callen liked being on the other end of things. For a few moments, that thought amused Gibbs; until he truly thought about Callen and Torres working together. Yeah, better never make that happen. He might have to deal with the grey hair, but he had no intention of going bald, thank you very much.

The End

A/N: Hope you enjoyed this little introspective piece. As I said, I haven't actually seen much of NCIS: Los Angeles, but Callen intrigues me. And when I watched the first episode of NCIS Season 14, Torres' claim of "I don't sleep" just suddenly reminded me of Callen's sleeping habits. Don't get me wrong; I like both characters for who they are individually. Still, I couldn't leave the similarities alone. So, there you go!