The Tango Maureen

Sometimes when you least expect it, life hits you in the face with a ton of bricks. Its not easy when you're in LA, trying out for roles and struggling for parts at the young age of 17, all the while you're trying to keep yourself level headed enough to graduate in a few months. You try to keep your life on balance, taking one step at a time, but what am I supposed to do when I lose my footing?

To make matters worse, it doesn't help that I've been having trouble controlling these feelings and urges inside of me. These feelings that drive me insane because it's like there is something in my life that I have over looked, something that I am missing, and it feels like its right in front of me but I can't open my eyes wide enough to see it.

So I sit by my computer every night, ranting continuously into unfinished monologues that will never get published and will never make it into a story because love and identity are the main themes. I don't usually write about these sorts of things. I pride myself in this mask of a persona that is empty on the inside, when in reality I just have so many confusing thoughts that I cant stop for one second and show an emotion because it just scares me. Day to day life at school gets harder and harder and all I can do is sit back and watch it unravel in front of me.

Right now the school has decided, for the purposes of our senior showcase, to put up the production of Rent, which is coincidentally one of my favorite plays. I was ecstatic when I was cast as Maureen, and not at all surprised when, once again; Sikowitz pairs me up with Tori as my Joanne. You would think that since this is my favorite play that I should be killing it at rehearsals, well I am, but not in the good way. Sikowitz says that when I portray my love for Joanne it doesn't feel authentic. He questions if I have ever fallen in love before, and of course I have. I dated the perfect Beck Oliver for two whole years until we decided that our relationship was not going anywhere. I put all my blame on Tori because my mind just can't shut up when I'm around her, its like every single thing she does interests me but annoys me at the same time. It is the most irritating experience.

"The tango Maureen, is a dark dizzy merry go round" I can hear Tori and Beck harmonizing perfectly, and I cant help but feel a twinge inside my stomach when I hear that line.

"Okay, Jade, we are ready for you." Sikowitz' voice rings out through the Black box Theatre. I walk over to where we are about to start the dance sequence for the Tango Maureen. "Now, through this dance I want to feel the sexual tension between all of you. I want to feel the want and need that you have for both of these people in your life. Also, I want to add a kiss between Maureen and Joana to the end of the sequence-"

"What?" I yell out. "Sikowitz, why? Don't we do enough kissing in this play?"

"Yes, but given that you have both refused to practice it every single time, I'm not giving you a choice in the matter. Now, where was I? Oh yes. A kiss at the end while Mark looks at them from a couple of steps away with a somber expression. Got it? Let's go!" Sikowitz claps his hands twice and we begin with the tango.

The dancing seems to go flawlessly, that is until we are nearing the end when I get this uneasy feeling. Tori has this funny look in her eyes, like she's felt the helplessness of this song before and Beck looks like a jealous boyfriend for the first time since our break up.

"Gotta look on the bright side with all of your might." Beck looks at Tori with a mock glare and Tori's eyes connect with mine as she says the next line. "I'd fall for her still anyhow."

Beck walks over to me and caresses my arms. "When you're dancing her dance you don't stand a chance" and Tori hugs me from behind as they harmonize "Her grip of romance makes you fall"

I look back at Tori as they sing "So you think might as well, dance a tango to hell, at least I have tangoed at all."

This continues through the rest of the song, Beck looking like a jealous ex-boyfriend and Tori looking at me like it hurts her to love me. I must say, I was very impressed with their performances, but deep down I knew better, I just didn't want to admit it.

The song comes to an end with Tori standing in front of me, making serious eye contact and a final repetition of the line "The Tango Maureen" harmonized with Beck. I feel her gentle warm hands on my neck bringing me forward to a scorching hot kiss, and everything seems to stop.

I feel her lips on mine, the taste of subtle vanilla, I feel her warm hands now travelling towards my scalp, nails dragging across my skin, then everything clicks. I kiss back with as much passion as I can muster. I can faintly hear someone clearing his or her throat behind me but I am too involved in this moment to care about anything in the world that is not Tori Vega.

I bite her lower lip and I hear the most euphoric gasp in my life. I take advantage to swipe my tongue across hers and wrap my arms around her waist to bring her impossibly closer to me. I hear murmurs around me, but I don't care because my entire life I have felt like a starved man in the dessert and now I have found the water to drink.

I pull back to take a breath and lean my forehead against hers. I search in her beautiful brown eyes for any signs of distress or discomfort and she gives me a small smile. I feel her chest heaving against mine, her arms wrapped around me loosely, as her breath hits my face.

Once again, I head someone clearing their throat and I realize that the entire black box had stopped what they are doing and were looking at us. Tori hides her face in my neck and I chuckle while looking around.

"Well, now that was certainly an-ahem- improvement on whatever the heck was wrong with your performances before. For the actual play I need you guys to turn it down a little bit, by about 6 minutes to be exact. We just need a small kiss, not a make out session. "

Tori who still has her face buried in my shoulder, chuckles once more and turns to Sikowitz with a smile. "We'll do better next time, I promise."

"Good. That's a wrap for today guys."

Everybody starts packing up to leave and Tori looks up at me. "So, what now, Jade?"

"I don't know, really. " I start to think about how this is all so fast for me. Do I ask her to be my girlfriend? Do I ask her to go to dinner with me? What are you supposed to do after such a revelation? I can tell that Tori notices me starting to freak out and reaches for my hand.

"Would you like to grab a cup of coffee with me?"

I smile and for once the millions of thoughts that run through my head grow silent.

"That sounds perfect"

Tango Maureen is a song from Rent. I do not own it.

Victorious is also not mine.

Authors Note:

I came up with this while watching Sex & Drugs & Rock & Roll tonight. My crush on Liz Gillies multiplies immensely. I don't even know how it just really happened (maybe it was her sexiness on the show). It's a one-shot for now, maybe it will turn into something more eventually, but for now this is it. Please Review :)

JoriHarmony