Ra's Savior
S
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[WHY AM I DOING THIS SHIT! SADIE, CARTER! …..Damn you Sadie…alright, fine. I'll do this stupid thing. I still don't see why telling everyone about me is going to solve anything about Apophis…stupid secret name stealing goddess…ow! What was that for Isis!]
I was not always the evil God of Chaos.
I was once…innocent.
[Shut up Carter!]
Young, naïve, ignorant; a child that did not know the world or how harsh it can be, only when I grew up did everything, my world, my life, my dreams, started to fall apart.
As a child, I didn't really have much attention drawn to me. My siblings were always wanting for Father and Mother's immediate love and attention. My sisters Isis and Nephthys were close to Father, Osiris with Mother, and, as for Horus, he mostly went to Osiris, looking up to him. One can see easily that the two were close, and I somewhat envied them for that. Everyone pretty much had someone close to them. Though, I would admit to have a strong liking and infatuation with Nephthys, however, it was not the same. No one really understood me, the raging storm and chaos within my very soul, wanting to be let loose; to be emancipated of all binds and bow down to no one; singing a song of wonderful excitement and joy; the ever unchanging and uncontrollable wind that can never be tamed! A rare and beautiful bird that is elusive from being captured and put into a cage, no matter how splendid it is.
That was something no one understood about me.
I didn't really care about what they thought, all I really wanted was to sing this song with my entire being and leap up in joy at this feeling! It was wonderful and pure. I knew exactly who and what I am. Chaos! Uncontrollable and untamed!
I was free!
And yet, they did not understand and thought me mad. They, the one who do not comprehend Chaos as freedom, thought it to be a fearful and evil thing. How ridiculous! And yet, they continued to believe it, whispering and glancing my way whenever I should come. Making me an outcast amongst them, even from my own family (though Mother and Father do love me, but they still cannot really hope to even know exactly how I feel.)
I was lonely.
I wanted someone; to be by my side and I, theirs, supporting each other and having a mutual bond that is strong enough to last for centuries.
Oh, the irony of it all. That the one whom I shall grow close to and have a bond with was the person who didn't want me or my siblings to be born, order my Mother and Father to never be together again, due to a prophecy of one of their children to become king after him.
The day I met him was when I was singing a song up in one of the trees of an oasis, of freedom and chaos, beautiful and wonderful, everlasting and true. High up in the branches, almost touching the sky as my small, childish form sat in the branch, red eyes looking up into the sky in wonder. Unaware and oblivious to the elder man standing beside the tree I reside in, listening to me sing. Only when he called out to me did finally take notice of him. I stopped singing.
"Why did you stop, little one? Please, continue." He said in a twinkle in his golden eyes, a kind smile gracing his lips.
I hesitated, eyeing him while opening my mouth and continued on with my song.
He listened with that kind smile on his face, hearing what is inside my very being and soul without ridicule or judgment most would give out once hearing my song.
That was the start of everything.
He would come to the same tree and I would sing to him, him always listening and kindly smiling at me as I poured my very truth, heart, and soul into my songs. Practically telling him everything, all my feelings, my wants, my dreams, the secrets in my heart; it was foolish but I did not regret it.
And to think, I did not even know who he was until he asked for my name!
That was a laughable yet special moment for me. And I then knew who the man was, to have listened to me and not have judged me as others have; to accept me and become my first and dearest friend. We soon talked to each other more, laughing at some jokes we shared, telling the other our feelings, wishes, dreams, fears, and thoughts.
I was…happy.
Hardly anyone could see one of us without the other when walking together in the streets, enjoying the company of the each other, despite the many whispers and looks we've received. I mean, really, seeing the mighty King of the Sun with the young child of Chaos, laughing and joking around? I'll admit, even to me that itself is strange. But then, I didn't really care, as long as I had a friend, I was fine.
As I grew, he not only became my friend, but a teacher as well.
Though, being a child still, there was some trouble in getting me to learn from him. And it really didn't help that I was a son of Chaos.
"No! You must have good formation! Otherwise, your enemy could easily do this!"
I found myself pinned on the floor, gasping while his foot was on my gut, his double swords crossed over my neck. My body stilled, reeling away from the sharp blades as far as possible.
After a few moments, he pulled away, letting me up. And, backing away, he got back into his stance, narrowing his golden eyes at me while I clumsily got into my position. My sword posed in front of me awkwardly until I stilled it and properly held it in my grasp.
"You must concentrate! Let the chaos flow through you." He commanded me, pausing for a minute in his stance then ran at me, striking with his blades at me. I blocked, our weapons coming in contact and our eyes locked; a crimson storm blazing into the bright golden yellow of light. "Become what it is you are! Let the anarchy that is you be emancipated, only then can you control it."
He sidestepped and spun, swinging his blades with amazing accuracy and precision, it made my own vain attempts at striking him nothing but child's play.
And once again, I found myself on the ground, defeated and again failing in combat class.
[My grade…E for Epic Failure…!]
"Set, why are you holding back so much? Are you that of afraid of harming me?" he said with a small wry smile at me. Making me feel quite sheepish and embarrassed, muttering something under my breath as I got back up.
"That's not it…well it somewhat of is but…" I babbled a little, eyes cast down, not at all comfortable in admitting this subject to my friend, despite how many secrets we both have shared. However, this was something that both confused and quite frightened me.
"…what if there is no real need for me to exist?" I whispered softly, slacking my arms down, my head bowed. My fingers loosely holding the sword in my hands, almost dropping it to the ground; the way I held myself up, it appeared I was slouching somewhat.
This has been haunting me for some time now.
The way I see everyone clinging onto Maat and uplifting order the highest above all else, looking down at chaos in disgust and fear. And, having chaos in my soul, this also applied to me as well. They looked down upon me. They will never truly accept me for what I am. The only reason they no longer openly expressed how much they did not like me was because Ra was by my side. And I feel cowardly for hiding behind him whenever I feel the need to not see the faces of those people.
It disgusts me.
A hard hit to my head snapped me out of my musing and I let out a yelp, holding my bruised head while glaring at the one who did it. Scowling at the look he gave me. The friggin bird was grinning! Damn sadist!
"What was that for!"
"For being an idiot…"
Blunt much?
"Set, what makes you think you are not needed?" Ra asked, raising an eyebrow in my direction. I didn't give a reply. Avoiding in meeting his questioning gaze, frowning; 'did he really need an answer to that?' I thought, sighing when he waited for me to answer his question.
"I…honestly, what good am I to anyone? What is my purpose for existing?" I asked, facing him, watching for his reaction as I continued. "Sometimes I feel I was created as a joke. And maybe I am. Perhaps there is really no need for Set, God of chaos. Despite me still being a mere boy of fifteen."
And, with a smile, Ra laughed out loud. Causing me to jump back and blink at him, wondering if he had gone bonkers or something. He was getting old…
"Ah, my boy, you really are an idiot!' he said with a laugh, making me bristle with anger. But, sighing, merely sat down and pouted, not meeting his gaze when he continued talking to me, that smile present on his face. It irritated me somewhat at the moment.
"You are needed, very much indeed. You are just as important as Maat, order, and life!" he chuckled, going over to me and ruffling my sandy red hair. "You just have yet to realize your true purpose. Do not worry, you will find what and where you're needed most. Let time and fate guide you, little one. Who knows, maybe you'll end up succeeding me as king."
Shock filled my mind when he said this. Looking at him with wide, red eyes that held disbelief and curious wonder; was he implying something to me? Does he even know exactly what he is saying?
But, looking into his golden eyes, it came to me that he indeed knew what he was saying and that scared me even more. Because, at that time, I wanted more than anything not to ever succeed in my friend at such a thing. For then, it would mean he would be gone. And I will be left alone once again.
I didn't realize how deeply rooted that fear was.
Because if I did, then I would know why exactly I had immediately rushed forward when learning he was in trouble from the giant snake attacking his boat. I would've realized how I got to be so good at fighting all of a sudden when, just a few days ago, I was failing miserably in it. How, in defeating Apophis and saving my friend's life, I had become somewhat of a hero to everyone at the moment. When Ra looked at me in awe and bafflement as I stood there, sword in hand, breathing heavily with the snake's blood covering my form; I probably looked terrifying and powerful to him. But that didn't really matter to me.
With a smile, I knelt down in front of him and bowed, speaking in a relieved and happy voice.
"My king, you are safe now. May you continue on with your journey, my Lord. The snake has been defeated and I, Set, shall always protect you. I promise."
It was I promise I had kept to my utter most best.
Day in and day out, I trained so as to face Apophis again and again in order to save Ra; my king, my teacher, my grandfather, my friend.
Everyone then began to smile and praise me now. It felt so strange and abnormal me that I walked faster than normal and tried to get far away as possible. Ra made fun of me for that. Ah, my good friend, you really do know how to get on my nerves. Constantly teasing me into asking Nephthys for her hand in marriage and how shy I was whenever she was around.
I still can't believe he talked me into asking for her hand in front of everyone at the grand hall, all Gods and Goddesses present.
I can still remember her bewildered expression as I scream at her to marry me, interrupting the chattering of everyone, then ran off, blushing madly with embarrassment while Ra laughed so hard, I swear he was going keel over and die right then and there. But I'm glad he did, otherwise I wouldn't have the lovely Goddess for a wife and be so happy in that time. When everything was perfect and wonderful! How I wish I could go back to those times.
Alas, all happy things must come to an end.
And I found out that I can save my friend from everything but my ambitious sister, Isis, and her snake.
I never felt so devastated or useless when seeing my kind king in bed, sick and dying. I felt like crying and screaming in both anger and despair. Wanting to yell out to the God of creation and tell him to take my life in his stead and allow my king to live. He was my dear friend; my grandfather, my teacher, my savior, my lord.
He was my world.
Then, I learned what Isis had done but it was too late.
He had been banished.
Ra was gone.
I never felt so utterly pathetic in my whole life!
I couldn't save him…I wasn't strong enough…fast enough…or useful enough…
Hatred and anger filled me when Osiris became king and Isis queen. It was so raw and hot, this loathing in my heart for my own siblings! How dare they take away the only person who ever understood me! Who was my first and best friend I ever had!
So I took my revenge.
And I lost my love and son, whom I never got to meet, in the process.
It didn't really matter to me whether I became the ruler of all Egypt or not at the time. However, I later on felt I should be; Ra's words echoed within my mind and, nodding grimly, I became the king for a brief period of time.
Then Horus came and, well, you know the story from there.
I still bore a grudge against my siblings. Wanting nothing more than to strangle Isis with my hands! Yet, even if I did, it would still not bring him back. No matter how much I beg, plead, or cry, he will never come back.
My purpose in life gone…just like that…
Ra's savior…
Some savior I turned out to be…
I failed him.
And in turn, I failed myself.
My world had come crashing down around me and…I felt so lost.
So lost…alone…and heart-broken…
[And there you have it. Now, if you'll excuse me, Sadie, Carter, I'll be going back into the Duat. Bye…]
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