A/N: So a friend of mine gave me a prompt and this pairing on my blog the other day and I wrote something, and I felt like it should be shared here. Also found on my tumblr under my writing tag ( tagged/laura+writes) or on my AO3 account ( archiveofourown works/5306867).
Prompt: You always, without fail, eat the last of my favorite yogurts, oh but not today my love, today I have prepared fresh hell for you, yes I mixed some chili into that strawberry goodness and prepared the perfect trap, it is waiting for you in the fridge and im waiting to hear you scream
Enjoy!
By the time she got home from work that night, May was exhausted. She just wanted to grab a snack, curl up on the couch, and watch mind-numbing evening television for a couple hours without anyone distracting her or even saying anything.
Her day at work had been awful. She'd had three challengers within a four-hour span, and the last one had been really rude when he lost, cussing her out and insulting her appearance and doubting her skill. Even though he had lost.
She didn't pretend it made sense, but she didn't really care much about what he thought anyway. At the moment, she just wanted to eat some yogurt and go to bed.
Of course, she couldn't eat any yogurt when the last of it had been eaten. Just to add insult to injury, the empty container had been left on the shelf in the fridge.
May slammed the fridge door shut with a growl and a glare. "Someone is going to pay. I don't even know which of them keeps eating all my yogurt, but they're going to pay."
The next night, she came home after work with groceries in hand as usual. Archie greeted her with a kiss when she came in the door, and dinner that night was jovial as usual.
At around eleven, May carefully snuck out of bed to set her revenge plan in motion. It wasn't hard - Maxie had been in one of his cuddling moods tonight and was currently wrapped around Archie like a Tentacool, so even though she had woken Archie when she got up, he wasn't moving anywhere. The bathroom excuse had worked, and he had gone back to sleep.
May pulled the fridge door open and pulled out the container of Razz berry yogurt - her favourite, and her thief's favourite, too, apparently. She also pulled out the Spelon berry hot sauce - the spiciest substance in their fridge. She dropped almost a whole spoonful into the yogurt container and stirred, cackling internally.
Whichever of them's stealing my yogurt is going to love this, she thought.
Next, she called Drake, the most senior Elite Four member. Even though the day was long over and the League was closed for the night, she knew he would still be up.
"Hello, May! Surprised to hear from ya! You need something?"
"Yeah, I'm.. calling out for tomorrow. I, uh, have something I need to do, and I can't come in to work."
"What're ya doin' that's so important, if I may ask?"
May mumbled something indistinct, not wanting to tell him the actual reason for not coming in.
"Sorry, May, you'll hafta speak up if ya want me to hear ya."
May sighed. "Archie or Maxie keep stealing my snacks so I spiked them with Spelon sauce and I need to stay home from work to see the reaction when whoever it is eats them."
Drake was silent for a long time. May winced in anticipation of the lecture that was sure to come.
"Stealing snacks is a serious matter, lass. I'll cover for ya tomorrow."
May breathed a sigh of relief. "Thanks, Drake. You're the best."
"'Course. Be sure to try and get a video, will ya? Fer private viewin' only, of course. Sidney's been complainin' he's bored again. You know how he is."
"I'll try."
The next day, May acted like she was leaving for work as usual, then had her Altaria help her through one of the upstairs windows. She made a break for it and hid in the linen closet - Maxie had just washed most of the contents of the closet a few days ago, so it wasn't likely that either of them would open the door. Plus, it had a clear view of both the fridge and the living room beyond.
She sat in the linen closet until about noon, twiddling her thumbs and wishing that the yogurt thief would make a move. Her legs had gone numb a few hours ago and she was tired of holding the camera. She briefly considered grabbing a snack herself when Archie came through into the kitchen.
"I'm tellin' ya, Maxie, you need to take a break every so often. Once you're in your office, ya never come out. Ya need to see some sunlight or something."
To her surprise, Maxie actually followed him into the kitchen. "I fail to see the need to stop working in order to watch a ridiculous and unrealistic action movie, but I'll humor you this once."
"Good! You take the snacks, then." And Archie pulled out - to May's evil delight - the spiked yogurt. He handed it to Maxie. "See if we have any popcorn."
Maxie rolled his eyes, but went over to the cupboard anyway.
Five minutes later, the two were sitting next to each other on the couch while the intro to Archie's favourite movie played on the TV. Barely audible over the car chase the movie had started with, May heard the lid of the yogurt container open.
"Does this taste a little funny to you, Max?" She heard Archie ask a moment later. She grinned.
A few seconds later, Maxie came dashing past the door to the linen closet, his face as red as his hair. He immediately made for the fridge and pulled out the carton of milk, not even bothering to pour it into a glass, opting instead to guzzle it right down.
May burst out of the linen closet with a triumphant laugh, which startled Maxie and made him spit milk all over the floor. Archie barrelled into the kitchen as well, stopping in the doorway to take in the situation. When his brain caught up to his eyes and he realized May was there - and that she was holding a camera currently trained on Maxie, who again had the milk carton held to his mouth - he sputtered.
"May?! What're- I mean- This isn't what it looks like!"
May couldn't reply through her laughter.